FF Dostana || NOTE pg 64|| - Page 39

He picked up the phone after only two rings.

'hey! where are you?'

'Just getting into my car, and am going to make way to the grocery store.'

'great, I will meet you there.'

'didn't you have an article to write?'

'I did but... I hit a roadblock, and I need to get away from it for a few hours... and what better way to refresh your mind than doing grocery shopping with your boyfriend?'

Shantanu smiled, 'okay, then meet you there.'

'see you in thirty?'

'see you in thirty, bye.'

'Bye.'

Khanak smiled as she put her phone on the table and started gathering things, all the while smiling like an idiot.

Shantanu Khandelwal- my boyfriend, my boyfriend- Shantanu Khandelwal. Saying that in her mind, made her smile, but she also felt scared. It was only a few months ago, when she had accepted – that she pushes people away and shuts people out. And now she is in a relationship with one of the best men she has ever come to know- her male best friend. She was scared that she will screw this up. And the thought of what might happen then- imagining a life without Shaan in it- left her paralysed with fear. But then again, her mother had said to be brave, and so she had finally accepted the fact that she is still terribly attracted to him. But it also left her second guessing her choice. But then the thought of him and her, the thought that he loved her, made every worry, every argument that this might be a bad decision go away.

'why are you smiling like a teenager who just saw her crush?'

Khanak looked at the door and saw Zia, 'hey zia! And...' she thought about it for a second, 'no, I just, um... thought of this joke...'

'do tell.'

'it's actually not that funny, anyway, what is up?'

'oh no it is fine, I see you are packing up, I can just come by tomorrow.'

'No- no, it's fine! What is it?'

'I finished that article, and have mailed it to you, so whenever you have time do go through it and tell me if I need to change anything.'

'really? Wow- that article isn't due for another two weeks.'

'yeah I know, but I like doing things before time, so I can review it and improve and stuff...'

'well I like that, usually I end up running after a few people for articles, and I am sure that I will love your article, but that can't be the only thing you came here for, I check my mails regularly and you could have messaged me. so what is really up?'

Zia smiled, 'you are really good at seeing through excuses.'

'I know, so ?'

'well, actually I am meeting Rohan at his place for a movie and he didn't give me his address and isn't answering messages, so I thought you might be able to help me out.'

Khanak was stunned for a moment, 'movie with Rohan?! Really?'

Zia laughed, 'I know it sounds – unbelievable to say the least.'

'you think?'

'but it's just the guy is going through a tough time with Tashu, and his self esteem was really - low, especially after she – yet again- squashed him, when he was trying to help her.'

'what?'

'ya- you didn't know? Oh then I shouldn't say anything, I am sorry, just forget it. It's just, he is in a bad place, and I was there a few months ago, and I can't understand where he is coming from and I want to help. After all, for all the idiotic things Rohan has done, he is not that bad a person. And I do love English Patient.'

'and you aren't going to tell me what idiotic things he has done, just like Shantanu, right?'

'Of course not, and good for Shantanu he is not telling you, 'cause I would have had to kill him if he did.'

'Urgh! I hate both of you!'

Zia laughed, 'so his address?'

'Oh I will write you down the directions, he lives in South extention.'

*~*~*

It felt good, no who was he kidding- it felt wonderful, mind blowing! He felt like he could fly... like the world was his oyster- he knew she was afraid, she was bound to be. This is after all Khanak, who had essentially always tried hard to not fall in love, while telling the world that she wanted to. But he knew, he just knew that she did love him. She wasn't ready to admit it to herself, but he knew that she did.

A smile appeared on his face, and his eyes grew soft as he thought about her, and him- about them. Being in love was a fantastic feeling, but being loved back by that person, especially if that person is Khanak- the girl he loves, really loves. That feeling was much more incredible.

He walked, the aisles of the supermarket, pushing is trolley, putting things in, smiling all through like an idiot, when he heard the voice, belonging to the queen of his thoughts.

'hey!'

Khanak hugged him, embracing him for a second longer than necessary, before moving away, and asking-

'Hey honey, how was your day?'

Shantanu narrowed his eyes, 'that doesn't sound right.'

Khanak nodded her head, 'yeah, it felt completely wrong, let me try again. How was your day Khandelwal?'

'that sounds perfect.'

'I know... so how was day?'

'awesome! In the morning this amazing girl, really hot, sexy beautiful girl agreed to be my girlfriend...'

Khanak blushed slightly as she tried not to smile, 'really? She sounds great.'

'she is... and then I spent better part of the day chatting with her via blackberry, and now I am grocery shopping with her.'

'AWW you both sound perfect!'

'you have no idea...' he wrapped his hand around her waist in a loving manner as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead, 'you are late.'

'I know, I know I am sorry! I had to give Zia directions to South extension.'

'south extension?'

'Ya, she and Rohan are meeting at his place for a movie.'

'Zia and Rohan meeting, for movie-that is the perfect recipe for disaster!'

Khanak laughed, 'yes, but it is sweet, Rohan's feelings were trampled on by Tashy- yet again. and he is feeling, well, bad. So Zia is hanging out with him.'

'hmm... she always had a thing about helping people. And,' he folded his arms, 'when will your friend stop walking all over my friend's heart?'

'I don't know... but seriously, I am getting really annoyed by Tashu now. Rohan loves her so much and that idiot to loves him, but she is pushing him away for the stupidest reason. Where is the coffee aisle? I need coffee...'

They both started walking, when Shantanu asked her, 'which is?'

'what?' Khanak asked as she stopped to look at some glasses.

'the reason she broke up with him? I thought she said, she doesn't love him anymore. No not that one, the orange one is better.'

Khanak kept the orange cups in their trolley, keeping the white one's back, 'She loves him, but she feels that they don't have much in common. That they do all these romantic things- but haven't really talked and gotten to know one another at a deeper level... Plus, when he said no about moving in- she was relieved- like taking a sigh of relief. And living with him, she felt more and more irritated by him, so...'

'she broke up with him rather than sit and talk to him?'

'yes.'

'wow, she is more stupid than I thought she was.'

'Hey!' she whacked him on his arm, 'you can't say that about her.'

'You agree with me.'

'yes I do. But she is my friend, only I have the right of calling her stupid.'

'but it was my friend, whose heart she broke.'

'hmm... you do have a point.'

'thank you, now tell me- French something bread or normal brown bread.'

'hmm...' Khanak bit her lip as she thought about it for a second, 'both.'

'both it is then.'

Shantanu pushed the trolley and they took a right towards the coffee section, he looked back at her, she seemed to be in deep thought, 'that difficult to decide between Bru and Nescafe?'

She smiled, 'No- that is easy, I love Nescafe- but, what I am trying to think about is how weird it is.'

'what is?'

'Tashu is the love of his life- so he says, for now- but she broke his heart, and Zia- the girl who he hates and who hates him- in a way, is helping him mend his heart. Six months ago, if someone would have told Rohan this would happen...'

'Rohan would have laughed at that person. He probably even would have fallen down laughing.'

'ya... weird right?'

'Very.'

'but seriously, did you ever thought Zia would help Rohan like this? You are the one who knows them best. As for me, I never even thought they can have proper conversation.'

Shantanu smiled, and took the coffee packet from her and put in their trolley, taking a second to think about his answer.

'To be honest- No- I mean, they can have conversation that is not surprising. They are two of the most intellectual people I know, I mean really, they read books on philosophy and classics. They can debate impressionists versus expressionists.' He pushed the trolley, following her as she walked towards the soft drink aisle, 'they can talk about old movies, like really old movies, and history and... in a nutshell, they can talk. It's just that Zia never wanted to talk with Rohan, minus of course throwing insults his way and receiving some back.'

'and you aren't telling me the reason for that.'

'Nope, nope I am not, so Diet pepsi or diet coke?'

'what is the difference?'

'I don't know, really, they taste the same, and are going to do equal amount of destruction to my insides.'

Khanak laughed, 'Vegetables Khandelwal, and then we need to go get fish, and some other things... the need to go back home and cook, chop chop.'

He followed her as she led the way to the fruit and vegetables section, 'is it weird that seeing you all bossy is kinda sexy?'

Khanak looked back, blushing slightly, 'not at all...'

*~*~*

'I thought you are coming by eight.'

'yes, and I thought it'll be easy to find your house. I guess we both didn't get what we wanted now did we?'

Rohan stepped aside and closed the door after Zia entered his house. He stood behind her, hands in his pocket, he waited her to speak, finding it oddly amusing that she was checking out her place, with what seemed like -appreciation.

Zia turned to him, 'I am pleasantly surprised, you house looks like a -house.'

He couldn't help but smile, 'why what did you expect? Horse stable?'

'a bachelor pad, with things all over the place and socks here and there, and smell of old pizza boxes engulfing me as I would step in. Tell me the truth, did you get place cleaned especially 'cause i was coming?'

He narrowed his eyes, 'No, I lived with Tashu, her neatness and obsession with order in the house rubbed off.'

'makes a lot of sense, now let's watch the movie so I can get out of here.'

Rohan shook her head slightly, with a hint of a smile, 'okay, the popcorn is ready and I have some other finger foods, you can wait in that room,' he pointed at a wooden door, 'the TV is there, relax make yourself comfortable and I will be there in a minute.'

Zia smiled and walked towards the door, when he called out her name.

'sorry I forgot to ask- beer or wine or perhaps brandy?'

'I am feeling proletariat-ish today, so I will strip pretences and have a chilled beer.'

He raised an eyebrow, 'that bad a day at work?'

'Urgh! You have no idea!'

Rohan smiled and went to the kitchen. He was happy that she had made it, weirdly so he had been looking forward to. Having your heart broken was not one of the easiest things in the world, and he needed, really wanted to forget about it. He didn't want to talk about his feelings, he didn't want any sympathy- which is why he didn't tell Shaan anything, and went to Zia instead. He knew she might be sarcastic (much better than sympathy) and she will never bother asking about his feelings.

He took out the beer, and opened it, then took the tray with popcorn, snacks and beer, and made his way to what he proudly called his relaxing lounge... his TV, games, books, music cds everything was there. It was truly heaven to him, that place was.

He opened the door, and found her staring at his favourite painting.

She turned to him, a little surprised, 'you like Manet? Or is this Tashu too?'

He narrowed his eyes, 'why I don't scream the kind that can like a Manet?'

'No.'

He kept the tray down on the table, between to lounge chairs, 'you couldn't pretend just for a second -that you don't really think so low of me?'

'why pretend, when you know how I feel?'

He put his hands in his pocket, and smiled-Insults! So much better than pity and talking about my feelings... he thought, 'you like Manet?' he answered her question with a question.

'Yes! I love Manet, when I was in Paris, I would on a free day spend hours looking at Le djeuner sur l'herbe... I mean...'

'Luncheon on the grass...'

'you know French?'

'A little... and anyway, the replica of the painting I have, I should know what it is called in French.'

She smiled, it felt weird, being pleasantly surprised by a person she had deemed unsuitable for proper conversation for years, 'well I am impressed- slightly, I never thought you would be a guy who loves English Patient and Manet...' she turned back to the painting, 'which part do you like best?'

He walked to her, standing behind her, staring at the painting, 'hmm... a woman is naked in the middle.'

She laughed, 'yes she is... but I don't know – I always felt more intrigued by the girl behind.'

'really? Wow, I would have thought you liked Victorine Meurent.'

'why?'

'well she is bold, bordering on scandalous, she is confident and in control and at ease of her sexuality, of herself. She is sitting naked, with two men, and rather than being shy or uncomfortable she is poised and she secure about her femininity. I really like that unlike the Birth of venus, where venus is shying away covering herself, she,' he pointed at the central figure, ' is not shying away from the public, she is looking directly at us, boldly, and you know what I love the most?' he asked a little excitedly.

'what?'

'How all her flaws, her "curves", which today's women might be ashamed of- that extra fat. It's not hidden or edited. Manet has painted her as she is. I find it to be a very beautiful message- a woman is beautiful, no matter what her shape. Her beauty is in her confidence, she is sexy because she is poised, sure of herself.'

'I am impressed Rohan Mehra. I never thought I will have a conversation about Manet and the luncheon on the grass, with you. How come you don't talk about art more often? Or your liking is limited till Edouard Manet?'

He looked down for a second, 'No, no I love art, even took a small summer class on art history in college.'

'really, Knightley's class?!'

'yup, he was not that good, but I liked art too much to be bothered about it...'

'Ah! He was such a prude! And you would think a art history professor will be a bit more liberal. Or at least I thought so... But anyway, how come I don't know about your liking of arts?'

'It might have something to do with the fact that we never talked that much- I guess, and I don't talk about art that much, anyway.'

'why?!'

'well, never found a companion to talk about art with, we never connected and Shantanu is more into photography than paintings.'

' and Tashu? isn't Tashu a writer? she has an artist's soul... why not talk about art with her?'

He thought about it for a second, 'I don't know... I never thought about it.'

She turned to him, ' so she came here saw a Manet and didn't talk about it?'

He went and sat on the chair, while she looked at him, waiting for an answer.

'Actually, she has never been in this room.'

'what?'

'Yes.'

'why?' she asked, a bit shocked.

'Well, to be honest- this is my safe haven, my place. I don't know, I just never wanted her here- I guess that is how relationships are, you want something's all to yourself. And before I could find myself comfortable enough to let her in, she was gone...'

'hmm...' the atmosphere felt serious all of a sudden, she should tell, by looking at him, the way he was sitting and fidgeting slightly- she could tell he didn't want to talk about it, so she did what she did best- debate.

'I think the girl behind Victorine, is much more alluring,' she stated, 'I mean yes Victorine is confident and all of the things you said, but there is still something so beautiful and vulnerable about the girl behind.'

'you find vulnerability beautiful?' he asked a little confused.

She went and sat next to him, in the second lounge chair, 'yes sometimes, vulnerability is sexier than brazen confidence- I love Victorine in the painting but I find the other girl more alluring. Now can watch the movie?'

'sure.'

*~*~*

'Sure I will clean this up.'

'No, I will do it – you go write your article.'

'No, I mean- I am still at a dead end about it, it is more like a biographical piece... and I really think it's not coming out as it should. It's bad.'

'Nonsense, you are a great writer and I am sure, it's just your nerves.'

'No, it is really bad.'

'Fine I will read it, and tell you.'

'go ahead...'

Shantanu got up, from the table, and went to the living room, sitting on the sofa, balancing her laptop on his lap, he asked her the password, when her phone rang.

Khanak ran into the living room to get her phone, she smiled as she saw the caller id, and showed it to Shaan.

'You take the call... and I will read.'

She typed her password and pressed enter, before pressing the green button on her phone.

'hey! wait a second.'

She turned to Shaan, as she pressed her hand to the phone, 'thanks...' she whispered, before she walked away to the balcony.

She put the phone back to her ear, 'Tashu...'

'Hey sor...'

'what is wrong with you?!'

'what? What happened?'

'what did you say to Rohan?'

'I did not say anything.'

'Don't lie to me, Rohan is supposedly upset, and sources tell me you said something...'

'It was nothing! He wanted to come and pick me up at the airport and I know him well enough by now to know why he was doing all of this, talking to me often and stuff... so I had to tell him that we are not getting back together .'

'Tashu, you are so crazy! Do you know how difficult it is to get a good guy these days? Wait, you do know how difficult it is to get a good guy in our day and age. And you found one, and he loves you, really loves you and you broke up with him, in spite of the fact that you still are in love with him!'

'you don't get it!'

'of course I don't 'cause you don't make sense! You know I am trying to be the supportive friend, but this is turning insane. Ever since you left Delhi, whenever we have had a conversation on the phone, it has been about Rohan, and 99 percent of the times you are the one initiating the talk. Tashu I know you better than I know myself, and I know you love him, then why in god's name do you not want him back! I haven't said anything about the -but not now, I am going to give you a piece of my mind...'

'okay, just be gentle?'

'... you are the biggest moron that has ever walked this planet...'

'I am not that...'

'Shh! When two people love each other and respect each other, like the two of you, they should be together! And I expected more maturity from you! You broke up with him for the stupidest reasons ever. Ever. You should have talked to him about it... and you should have gone to couple's therapy or actually initiated talking- instead breaking up with him then fleeing to Mumbai!'

'I know! I mean I am, coming to realise this, but ...'

' did I say I was finished?'

'Oh... sorry, I thought...'

'Take a week, and think hard, about what you want and why you want it, and then come here and make it clear to Rohan! And whatever decision you take- just don't regret it...'

Tashu nodded, 'you are right, thanks...'

'hey! you have given me plenty of lectures or the years, it was about damn time I gave you one!'

They both laughed.

'No but seriously Tashu, if you feel something for him go for him, he is not going to be waiting around forever.'

'I know... thanks, again. Now I will keep the phone down. I needed your advice anyway, and you gave it to me, and now I won't take any more of your time.'

'okay... good night woman,'

'good night to you too.'

Khanak smiled as she looked at the phone, 'stupid woman.'

She went inside, as saw Shaan still staring at the screen with avid interest, she went to the kitchen, still staring at him. She cleaned up, put away the pizza boxes. They both had been too tired to even imagine cooking, let alone actually doing it.

'is it good or bad?' she finally asked.

He looked up, finally, 'It is great, not only you writing but, the fact that you are writing on Steve McCurry.'

'why?'

'Why? Nothing, just that he is my favourite photographer.'

'you never told me.'

'I know. But I love Steve, I really do, I mean the man is a genius! I fell in love with his photography, as soon as I laid eyes on "the afghan girl" and ...' he smiled, 'when I was in college, i remember thinking to myself – countless time- how much fun it'll be to be like him. Have a camera and capture moments in people's lives- most of his works are grounded on people, and he captures moments... an unguarded moment of a person's life...'

Khanak couldn't help but smile, she stared at him as he continued talking, gushing about photogaraphy, when an idea hit her. She was awoken from her thoughts by Shaan.

'You are staring Kapoor.' He said.

She smiled, 'well I was thinking.'

'what were you thinking?'

'why don't you do photography?' she asked.

He stopped smiling.

She too stood looking at him, hoping he wouldn't get upset. She knew too well that this was his Achilles heel.

'Khanak...' he kept her laptop on the table and walked towards her.

'I know, I know,' she cut him off, ' you left it, because of your father, I know... but why not start it as a hobby, all business men have hobbies, you can do something cool as photography, rather than something as lame as golf.'

'My dad loves golf.'

'exactly! It is for old people.'

'don't let him ever catch you saying that,' he said on the verge of laughter.

She put her hands on her hips, 'Shantanu Khandelwal! I know your family in and out. And I know very well, that you never do two things in front of Sunil Uncle, first never- not accept scotch from him and never say anything bad about golf.'

He walked to her and hugged her from behind, and laid a gentle peck on her shoulder, 'your point being?'

'what?'

'why should I take up photography as a hobby again?'

'Oh!' she turned around, 'I almost forgot, you distracted me!'

'I distracted you? Well what can I say I love distracting you...' he leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

She pulled away, a little breathless, 'Nice try Khandelwal, but we are having this conversation.'

'urgh!' he put his head on her shoulder, 'fine speak!'

She took his face in her hands and made him face her, 'You love photography and are still so passionate about it! It won't be much, if you start doing it as a part time thing and then, we can have an exhibition here in my home, or yours, and invite all friends and family, it'll be fun! Come on!'

'No.'

'Oh come on!'

'fine, I will do photography, when you write a novel.'

'Oh that is below the belt!'

'no it's not, and you told me yourself, you would love to write a novel. I remember a few days after reading the letter, you told me this.'

'I did, and it is below the belt. Plus writing a novel is much more difficult than getting pictures. With a novel you have develop characters and plots, and go on this journey with the characters, in photography on the other hand, you capture a moment in your life, whether it be made or real. So really the deal should be, the day you exhibit pictures, and real, good honest pictures to our family and friends, that day I will start writing a book.'

'No, no I say the day you start writing a book, I will start clicking pictures...'

'Shaan...'

He gave her a peck on her shoulder, making his way up to her lips, 'yes, yes, yes.'

She laughed, countering him, 'no, no, no...'

He kissed her lips, he pulled her towards him, his hands roamed on her back, loving the way that made her moan into his mouth, as they deepened the kiss. She buried her hand in his hair, while the other one caressed his neck.

She pulled away, breathless, 'I need to work.'

'yes, I know, me too...'

'but it can wait another few minutes?' she offered.

He looked at her lips, 'oh most definitely...'

They kissed again.

*~*~*

'I love, love how in the end she says, "I love you, you idiot, I always have and I always will..." and the way he starts crying.'

'are you crying?'

'no, it's just a lonely tear, or four.'

He smiled, looking at her, as she wiped her tears, they had reached the very end of the movie, Hana had administered the overdose of morphine and was now reading Katherine's last words to the count, as he slipped to death. He had to admit that this scene was one of the most emotional ones in the movie, but seeing Zia- who he had always thought to be the practical one. The one who had a practical solution to the emotional problem, the one who was unmoved by heavy emotions- he was surprised seeing her cry. He felt like he didn't know her at all- not that he ever claimed he did, but still. He liked getting to know this side of her, he liked that she had her steely and cold guard down with him.

'that was beautiful...' she whispered with a sigh as the credits rolled in.

She looked at him, 'what?'

'you cried.'

'I will deny it, if you tell anyone Mehra, and then I will kill you.'

He laughed, 'trust me I won't...'

'Good,' she smiled, 'well, it's late I should go.'

They got up and she took her bag.

He put his hands in his pocket, 'I had a good time,' he said looking at her, she was smiling.

'Me too...'

'so do you want to do this again sometime?'

'hmm...'

She stood beside the door and turned to him, 'only if the next movie we watch is Philadelphia Story.'

'Why?'

'I want to prove I was right, and Katherine Hepburn's character should not have married Cary Grant's character again, so that is why.'

'so I will have to hear your commentary on the movie?'

'only in few parts, but I promise I will pause and the speak.'

He smiled, 'fine, but I will not be swayed easily.'

'I have my ways...'

'mysterious, let's see.'

She opened the door, and stepped out, 'bye Rohan.'

'Bye Zia.'

She took a step, when he called her, she turned around.

'yes?'

'Thank you.' He said with a smile.

She smiled too, 'bye Rohan.'

He closed the door, smiling, feeling happy after a long time...

*~*~*

'

Originally posted by: yasharan.love

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