Party Everyday - Page 12

Originally posted by: jingjing

The Blind Date ?
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't stand another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone an hour into the evening so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim statement and said, "I have some bad news. My grand- father has just died."

"Thank God," his date said. "If yours hadn't, mine would've had to."?😆

MISTRESS JOKE
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.

FOUR CHILDREN JOKE
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children.



Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.



"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if--"



The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."



The man then dies, happy.



The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

Originally posted by: sam1903

its not that u stop smiling

as u grow old,

the real thing is u grow old

coz u stop smiling.

Donate a smile

everday

And Live Longer

in life wehave a lot to loose and very

little to choose, so whenever u Get a chance to choose,

do it carefully and see 2 it that u never loose what u choose.

Never change your originality for the sake of others,,,,,,,,,,

b'coz in this world no one can play your role better than u....

so be yourself and win the world

Life Never comes to be da Way we Want it, But we Live it the Best way we can .

There is no PERFECT Life ,

But we can Fill it with Perfect Moments...

SUSPICIOUS WIFE JOKE
A wife suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The wife says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid", said the wife. "Well, I was hired this morning by the man of the house", the maid replied.

"Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "he is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The wife is fuming with anger. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000.00?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The wife tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with." The maid puts the phone down; the wife hears footsteps and then gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

Anxiously the wife says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there is no pool here." After a long pause the wife says, "Is this 555-4821?"

EASTER BUNNY JOKE
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night they go to a party.

The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back... "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"

Originally posted by: godisone

I love this one! Post more funny jokes!!!😆

WHERE IS GOD???
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved.

The parents were at their wits end not knowing what to do about their sons' behavior. Then the mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman.

The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys. He asked to see them individually.

The 8-year-old went to meet him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD? With that, the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming his door and hiding himself in his closet.

His older brother followed him into the closet saying, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in B I G trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

Originally posted by: godisone

MISTRESS JOKE
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.

Originally posted by: godisone

FOUR CHILDREN JOKE
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children.



Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.



"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if--"



The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."



The man then dies, happy.



The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

Originally posted by: godisone

SUSPICIOUS WIFE JOKE
A wife suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The wife says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid", said the wife. "Well, I was hired this morning by the man of the house", the maid replied.

"Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "he is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The wife is fuming with anger. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000.00?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The wife tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with." The maid puts the phone down; the wife hears footsteps and then gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

Anxiously the wife says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there is no pool here." After a long pause the wife says, "Is this 555-4821?"

EASTER BUNNY JOKE
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night they go to a party.

The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back... "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"

Originally posted by: godisone

WHERE IS GOD???
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved.

The parents were at their wits end not knowing what to do about their sons' behavior. Then the mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman.

The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys. He asked to see them individually.

The 8-year-old went to meet him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD? With that, the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming his door and hiding himself in his closet.

His older brother followed him into the closet saying, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in B I G trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"