An unanswerable question for me.

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sherlock

@sherlock

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

I've just received an email from a friend living in a far-off land.

He has to submit an article for what he describes as a periodical on 'spirituality.'

The article has to prove the importance of maintaining the utmost sanctity of the institution of marriage, if the existence of a civilized human society based on the eternal principles of morality, is to be salvaged. He has asked me to write important points on the subject & send to him ASAP, so he incorporates them in his article.

The CRUEL IRONY behind asking a lonely bachelor to write on the importance of the sacred institution of marriage has obviously escaped my friend's attention.😆😆 God, why destiny plays such cruel jokes on an innocent me?? 😭😭

Now, why am I telling all you Ramayan fans all this? coz in his mail, he asked me to, if possible, give examples from the 'life' of Supreme Couple SitaRam on the facets of being an ideal husband & wife, clarifying the doubts that some people raise on Sri Ram's conduct as a husband.

I'll reply to him in a day or two, coz unlike typing on IF where I type without thinking, when writing on such subjects, one needs to first think & then type, & that's time consuming. A point he mentions, people expressing doubts on Sri Ram being an ideal husband, has been discussed at length on this forum too, I too contributed to one such discussion.

Contention of those who say that Sri Ram indeed has done NO WRONG as a husband (the list includes me) is very simple. That Sri Ram loves Sitaji madly, even a raving lunatic can realize, if only he cares to read the entire Ramayan carefully. Yet, at two points, Sri Ram is accused of acting unjustly as a husband. First, he says some bad things to Sitaji leading her to undertake the fire-test. Then later, he sends her to Valmiki's ashram.

Both these incidents, as history is witness, have contributed to Sitaji being hailed as the greatest wife & greatest woman of all times. Thus, Sri Ram by becoming a 'bad husband' in the eyes of one & all, have actually made sure that his wife, whom he loves dearly, is acclaimed as the greatest embodiment of virtues, merits & patience, and the greatest wife ever. There is a Gujrati devotional song, which says that "Sri Ram, even though you are infinitely merciful, benevolent, & The Supreme, yet compared to Shri Sitaji, you are nothing!!!"

Those interested can listen to that devotional song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JZmxt3X1h4

Edited by sherlock - 12 years ago

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Frequent Posters

sherlock

@sherlock

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

However, even persons like me, who subscribe to the view that Sri Ram is actually the greatest husband ever, face a problem. I'll narrate an incident.

Those of you living in India might recall that sometime last year, a well-known lawyer decided to express his 'profound views' on Sri Ram, including his conduct as a husband. Since I was among those unfortunate souls who listened to his views, I shot a letter to him expressing my disagreement with his opinions, and invited him for a detailed discussion on the subject. (I am yet to receive his reply. Maybe I should send him a reminder now. 😆)

Months after this, I happened to meet a well-known orator of Ramayan. During the conversation, (there were other people too part of it), someone mentioned the lawyer's statement. The orator said that such half-baked statements are made just to denigrate, & deserves patient & cogent rebuttal. However, there is no escaping the fact that any good-hearted, sympathetic person reading entire Ramayan usually gets sad reading about Sitaji's 'life.' He asked us that even after realizing that whatever Sri Ram did invariably led to Sitaji viewed more & more as the greatest woman ever, still if we always get sad thinking about our mother (Sitaji), and we get sad because of the actions of our father (Shri Ram), do we call Shri Ram as a ideal husband or not, even though knowing that he indeed is??

I admit I've no answer to this question. 😊

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varaali

@varaali

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Lord Rama was not the best of husbands. He became one - because- he had the best of wives.

Period.

Edited by varaali - 11 years ago

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Silvy

@SilverBell

Viewbie

+ 14

Posted: 11 years ago

⭐️

Edited by SilverFairy - 11 years ago

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varaali

@varaali

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

On a more serious note, Lord Rama usually gets the flak for 'abandoning' his wife, that too when she was carrying his child.

IMHO, he didn't do anything un-husband- like while sending Sita away. He acted in the best manner he could- protecting both his wife and the dignity of the throne he sat on. The reasons why I say so are as follows-

OK, some people in Ayodhya were gossiping about the purity of his wife's character. There was nothing he could do about it. He cannot shut people 's mouths.

He also knows that eventually Sita will also come to hear about the gossip and this was the kind of idle talk which will only increase with the passage of time, not diminish. Would it do good for Sita, in her state of pregnancy to be listening to what each Tom, Dick and Harry had to say about her character.

If Rama was worried about his wife, he was even more worried about his unborn child. What would it's condition in the womb be, if its mother was worried, dejected and upset?

By sending Sita away, he ensured that she would at least not get to hear the latest on the gossip front.

He does not abandon her in the middle of no where. He specifically instructs Lakshmana to leave her near Valmiki's ashram, fairly certain that she would be given sanctuary there.

And the Chakravarti Maharaja that he is, wouldn't his spies have come and told him about Sita's safe arrival in the ashram, the subsequent birth of his sons?

Rama knew that Valmiki's word was the law in his ashram and the rishi certainly would not permit permit people engaging in idle gossip. Moreover the pure and spiritually charged environment of the ashram would have been a far better place for Sita to spend the remainder of her pregnancy that be cloistered in the royal palace with all its intrigues, plots and shadowy characters. Who could say that there won't be another Manthara?

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varaali

@varaali

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Secondly,I disgree with the way the TV serials have shown Rama as tyaag- ing his wife. Rama does not tyaag his wife. Rama severs all relations with Lakshman, towards the end, but never ever does he renounce his wife.

The other point which usually comes up in this kind of discussions is Luv and Kush were deprived of palatial comforts in their childhood. For the first five years, yes. But even the most royal of princes would have had to go to some Gurukul in their sixth year. So even if L-K were born and reared in the palace, they would eventually have had come to a hermitage.

Thirdly- So why does Rama once again ask his wife to prove the purity of her character towards the absolute end?

He knew that the old gossip will once again rear its ugly head. He didn't want his wife's character to be talked about flippantly. He knew how pure and devoted she was to him; he didn't want X Y and Z commenting on her. So he asks her to take one more test- to shut these people's mouths once for all.

That's how a man's mind works.

Unfortunately, that's not how a woman's heart works.

In her heart of hearts, Sita knew that the gossip monster can never be set to rest. And she was pained to see how her husband was suffering because of the stigma being cast on her. She wanted to relieve him from the pain once for all.

She knew that she was pure and devoted.

He knew that she was chaste and divine.

She knew that he knew

And That was all that mattered to them.

Edited by varaali - 11 years ago