Married so young

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naveen

@Mrs-KaranKundra

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#11

nikunj got it back in her face when she was dancing dheeli dhaali

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rainy.days

@rainy.days

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: qwertyness
Even though I'm mot a fan on Nikunj, I agree with her on this issue. It's not so much the age of the contestants but rather the age difference between them and Rahul. They're in very different places in life. I just don't think it's appropriate for a 20-21 year old to marry a 34 year old today. Possible - yeah, ideal- hell no.

Only problem is... she wasn't referring to the fact that they're marrying a 34 year-old man, she was referring to the fact that they're marrying at all at the age of 20 which in her opinion is a type of "backwardness". I'm sorry, that doesn't sit well with me. Getting married at 20 has nothing to do with one's education and/or standard of life. Granted, there are families out there that force their daughters to get married young out of pressure and whanot. But for her to explicitly imply that this is a backward ideology that only people from the villages employ is extremely insulting and shallow - clearly shows her lack of knowledge of the world she lives in. Many people marry young for various reasons - some find love at an early age; some prefer arranged marriages; some can actually balance marriage, school, married life all at the same time. So who is she to judge others preferences? For someone who claims she understands people well and thinks before she speaks, she should no better than to make sweeping generalizations like that. It's very unbecoming.

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sunandshine

@sunandshine

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#13

Remember?on PB forum we crucified Gurpreet so much because of her age 😉

Thats besides the point. I find Harpreet fake but not childish. That girl has a lot of maturity. Also, Dimpy today mentioned that "Shaadi ke baad ka responsibilities alag hota hai". A girl who realizes that cannot be termed as 'Immature". Its not the age but the maturity thats important. I knew a girl in Grad school who was 30 but immature than a 15 year old.

Nikunj feels that just because her family folks do not laugh or dance a lot they are 'mature and sophisticates". In fact, life with such uptight people will be next to boring 🤢 She wont live and those who live with her will suffocate. I mean look at her comments "Koi itna kaise baat kar sakta hai" . There are people who are reserved and there are people who are chirpy. Live with them!

P.S..I dont think that Producers can fabricate things so much. Not everythign can be as scripted. Why would anyone want to ruin their life by accepting scripts like that?

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sunandshine

@sunandshine

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: qwertyness
Even though I'm mot a fan on Nikunj, I agree with her on this issue. It's not so much the age of the contestants but rather the age difference between them and Rahul. They're in very different places in life. I just don't think it's appropriate for a 20-21 year old to marry a 34 year old today. Possible - yeah, ideal- hell no.

Agreed..but look at so many folks..I have few friends who got married to a guy a decade older than them and they dont have complaints. Look at Kareena-Saif. Its not the age difference but the understanding that matters. Of course, in this case the guy in question does not have a clean record, so these girls should not ideally settle for him. But at the end of day, its their life, if their families are okay with this Nikunj has no business to meddle.

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frosty

@frosty

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: sunandshine
She wont live and those who live with her will suffocate. I mean look at her comments "Koi itna kaise baat kar sakta hai" .

What was worse was that she said "Koi itni bekaar ki baat kaisa kar sakta hai" She talks about ankhon ki sharam and does not feel bad putting someone else's mom down. Hypocrite!

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qwertyness

@qwertyness

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: sunandshine

Agreed..but look at so many folks..I have few friends who got married to a guy a decade older than them and they dont have complaints. Look at Kareena-Saif. Its not the age difference but the understanding that matters. Of course, in this case the guy in question does not have a clean record, so these girls should not ideally settle for him. But at the end of day, its their life, if their families are okay with this Nikunj has no business to meddle.

You make a good point about understanding, which runs along with what Sachin said to Rahul that even if your wife is younger respect her...and that makes a marriage work. True. But you can't just look at people you know and say "OK A and B's marriage seems to work, so I guess this is alright after all" that's generalizing things.
Also to look at Kareena-Saif as an example of a model relationship is naive to say the least. Please keep in mind that Saif dumped his earlier wife, who was much older than him. Hmmm so yeah something didn't work there right?
And as far as Nikunj's meddling is concerned, she has each and every right to say whatever she wants about these girls. I mean they're competing to marry the same guy! Ofcourse she will voice her concerns! I personally was shocked when I saw the age of some competitors on the show. 20 years ago in India perhaps it would be normal for a 20-21 year old to get married (and to a 34 year old) but today when women want to make sure they stand on their own two feet before they get married, it's just not right. I mean Dimpy is what a sophomore in college, while Harpreet is doing her schooling through correspondence...? And then you have Rahul who's been out of school for the past 12 years and done god know's what...fine you need understanding but how will you CREATE that understanding when you can't put yourself in the other's place?
Also I don't live in India but I know where Nikunj's thinking of early marriage being backward or an indicator of someone's education arises from. If parents don't want to educate their girls or if girls don't want to get educated many see marriage as a meal ticket...which fine each to their own...but if someone wanted to marry my man for those reasons I would for sure say something.
And before someone accuses me of having an "elitist" mentality like Nikunj, I think it's important to note that in India there are a ton of impressionable people watching this show and for any girl to think it's not important to get a good education cause marriage to a rich guy is always an option is misleading to say the least.

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anshhuu

@anshhuu

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#17

A girl can be come an engineeror can finish her graduation by the age of 20... and she can stand on her own... so why cant she get married? its not an early age n has nthin to do wid "elite " mentality... or "village" mentality... it all depends on the level of maturity and it has nthin to do wid 20 or 25 yrs of age... ifect i see harpreet more mature than nikunj! , and medically, the doctors are makin this point that by the age of 30, a woman should become a mother as in later stage, many complications can happen coz of new lifestyle and pollution specially in urban ladies... so why r u considering the age of 20 a childish age??

Edited by anshhuu - 15 years ago

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anshhuu

@anshhuu

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: Xserial_queenX

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regalla

@regalla

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: anshhuu

A girl can be come an engineeror can finish her graduation by the age of 20... and she can stand on her own... so why cant she get married? its not an early age n has nthin to do wid "elite " mentality... or "village" mentality... it all depends on the level of maturity and it has nthin to do wid 20 or 25 yrs of age... ifect isee harpreet more mature than nikunj! , and medically, the doctors are makin this point that by the age of 30, a woman should become a mother as in later stage, many complications can happen coz of new lifestyle and pollution specially in urban ladies... so why r u considering the age of 20 a childish age??

Am sorry ... but even i cant agree with you here......a girl does not become an engineer or a doctor by 20.

In India, the minimum age to complete schooling i.e. to pass out of Standard 12th is 17 years. Add 4 years to it for medical or engineering degrees, the age becomes minimum 21. If internship(in case of medical students) or other higher degree courses follow, say like Post Graduation, MBA or anything, the age goes up to 23 or 24 (minimum).

So, there are families, that marry off their daughters any time after 18, because that is the legal age after which girls can be married, but they are the ones, where girls do not have high educational or career aspirations...and where eventually families and particularly parents have to settle their daughters in matrimony...and so start looking for prospective grooms...because the daughters dont have any future goals to achieve and eventually have to settle to a stable life somewhere.

But in case of career-oriented girls, the no. of which is gradually rising in our society, the normal age these days is 24-27 years only. by then, the girls have actually completed their education and also found themselves jobs/good careers or fulfilled their aspirations...

As for the doctors advocating girls to attain motherhood before 30, even if a girl marries at 25,26 or 27, she can very well become a mother before 30. The second child can come any time before 32. 30 years is not the deadline, but just a benchmark.. so two-three years on the other side really dont matter in case of second pregnancy. And these days, there are many instances where ladies become mother at later stages... and lead happy and healthy lives..

Edited by regalla - 15 years ago

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anshhuu

@anshhuu

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#20

the minimum age is 16 not a7 for 12lth...n even if we consider 17, three years of graduation in any stream will be by the age of 20. and i never said that by 20 we can become a doctor... i myself was graduated in 20. i no that if we are career oriented, the normal age goes to 25-27 of getting married... i am a docorate and i also got married in 25 and finished my thesis after marriage...

but those who get married at the early age are all immature or a burden on their parents? the social canvas in very vast and colorful in india. think about a family where the gal herself wish to become a good homemaker( i know many gals like that) then what can parents do? n seeing the situation today where we all are leading towards nuclear families in posh cities, whats bad if one of the two wants to stay at home n take care of her hubby n raise up kids... infect its good...

n yes i no that a gal can be a mother after getting married late but then they have to plan their kid soon as per doc advice... if a miarriage is quite earlier, they can enjoy n understand very well n there is no pressure of plannin a kid...

n there r ladies who become mother late ( same in my case) but the chances of cezer increase by 150%) doc believe that the best age is 23-25 for the first kid...

cmon yaar lets discuss mam nikunj... les not deviate frm the main topic ha ha!

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