New Asya SS:Crossing time, chap 14 (LAST); 08-11-15 - Page 6

Chap 3

It has been already one week that he was in hospital, waiting everyday impatiently for Zoya to come or to check, hoping that she will recongnize him or else he will get the courage to tell her the truth, but all he could do was staring at her, smiling like an idiot most of the time. He can see how she grew up in confidence and became a strong woman. He got the opportunity to ask the nurses and knew a lot about her, thanks to his charm, he didn't need to force, one blink of his eyes or just a smirk and he got what he wanted. Zoya was really professional with him and she was good in hiding her emotion, like always. The moment that he spent with her was brief and he never satisfied him. He needed distraction, he needed something to pull out all this frustration, he didn't explore such a long time without doing anything and maybe the lack of activity was too heavy to bare and depressed him. Tomorrow, he will organize a meeting in his room, he needed to know how it goes in the company in his absence.

-Good morning Doctor Farooqui

-Good morning, Nuzzat, she yawned, sorry, I didn't sleep enough

-It's ok, I can understand, you work a lot and one day is never enough to recovery

-exactly, she grew up her eyes, what we have today?

-not that much, but...

-THIS IS RUBBISSHHH, strong voice came from a close room

-Who is yelling like that? Asked Zoya totally surprised by this burst out

-Oh God, it's been going since this morning, it's your patient, Doctor

-Asad?? Nuzzat looked at her mischievously, I mean, Asad Ahmed Khan, she can't show such a proximity with any patient.

-yes, it was like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde , Ughh, I didn't know that a handsome man like him can hide such a monster, he is so scary, brrr, she shook her body

-but why no one talk to him?

-Are you kidding? One nurse tried already to talk to him, he blasted on her and I am not going inside, I am still young and single, she turned away but her eyes full with fears was stick on his door. But, she turned to Zoya, Doctor, it's your patient, I guess you can talk to him.

-Me?

-Yes, I noticed that he was always numb when you are here and he was a bit curious about you and always asked question, I think he likes you.

-Nuzzat, he looked at me as his savior, that why he was acting like this, it's just a respect, she turned her gaze and pretended to look at some files

-Huh-huh, he has a crush on you, I am sure, Zoya rolled her eyes heavenly

-HOW THIS HAPPEN, YOU ARE ALL USELESSS, he yelled again

-This can't continue, he is not at home, she went to his room in firm step

-This was supposed to work, how all of this happened, can you just tell me? TELL ME, he yelled on his employe, who was shaking and sweating now.

-Sir, they.. dddidn't... want ...tttooo

-speak quickly, HURRY

-they, he gulped held his breath and spat all his sentence rapidily, want to meet you and I said that you can't for the moment.

-what-did-you-tell-them?

-They...

-Mister Khan?

-Not-now, nurse, I don't have time, he replied harshly

-well, you will have time, he looked up, Mister-Khan, Zoya stood in front of him, looking straight into his eyes. Gentlemen, she welcomed them. She approached to him and their eyes locked, did you see this? She pointed to the cardiac monitoring.

-Ugh, I know, he massaged his temple, it looks like a bird that doesn't stop to knock against my head, I can not stand this noise anymore, it gives me a headache, I wished other companion than this doctor.

-well, I will make him wear a sexy dress and some make-up and I hope you will find him at you taste, she said sarcastically.

His employees giggles silently and Asad glared at them, and then at her.

-No thank YOU, doctor, he emphazed each of his words giving her a force smile.

-May does gentlemen leave us for some minutes, please? I need to check the patient.

All of them left quickly, didn't need to ask a second time, happy that she freed them. Asad crossed his arms on his chest, but he hissed when he felt his wound paining. He massaged slightly his injury. Zoya looked at him and sat beside him.

-Why are you yelling like this Mister Khan? You are at the hospital, you are not in any night club, she said totally annoyed, she was really disappointed by his rude behavior.

-of course, I am, do you have any favorite song? My dear friend here can play a good song, but unfortunately, it's always the same song, bip bip bip bip bip bip, you like it? He retorted.

-Mister Khan, you are at the hospital and you are not allowed to yell and to stress yourself, see how your heart rate was increasing? You have to calm down, her voice was low now.

-I can't be calm, this useless employees screwed up one of my project that I was working for weeks now, look at those files, look at this biggest mistake, he showed her some files and all she could see its long tables and number here and everywhere, she felt dizzy.

-Oh God, I hate numbers, I hate maths and I hate the one who created this, she looked up at the sky, WHY he didn't just stop at addition and subtraction? No, he add x, y and z, like it will help us in future to know who is x? and where it is? who is y and why is always the one is missing? and who is z? Zed it's me, she laughed at herself. I hate you Leo, for making me start with the math, disgusting!!!! My worst nightmare is that you become real evil math.

-it's ok, she pushed away the files, you will find another one.

-No, I want this

-come on, Mister Khan, it's not a toy and don't act like a spoiled child, failure is part of life

-I hate to fail

-but, it happens to everyone

-NO, IF IT WAS ME, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT CORRECTLY, I HATE TO FAIL

-First, lower your tone, and second, look at the monitoring, calm down, think about your wound.

-I am not going to calm down, I AM HELL ANGRY, and for this wound? I DON'T CARE, he hitted his pectoral sharply, he growled in pain suddenly, he didn't expect to be so sensitive, while he carefully avoided to touch it directly.

-ASAAD, she shouted on him, ARE YOU MAD? He started to cough, why are you behaving like this?

-I don't care, I told you, his voice was in pain

-But I CARE, he faced her for a second, I didn't spent in our me and my friend trying to save you. Or you will calm down, RIGHT NOW or I will leave you and you will never see me again, she didn't know why she wanted to cry, she lost her confidence suddenly. He looked at her with visible pain in his eyes, and brusquely, the rate increased rapidily, he felt sharp pain under his chest and his heart started to beat quickly with each passing second, he couldn't breath properly and his throat constricted.

-Zzzo,

-Asad, she said in panic, she looked at the screen and at him, he was not able to breath, calm down, you are doing a hyperventilation, she took from her pocket a small bag and put it on his mouth, breath in it, Asad, try to breath normaly. He held the bag and she loosened her grip, but he caught her wrist, pleading with his eyes. I am not going anywhere, I am here, a tears fell from his eyes and she wiped them instinctively, and rubbed his hair. Calm down, I am just here, I won't leave you.

-Oh God leave me alone, devil book, devil lesson, devil number, she threw the book carelessly on the floor. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her mouth and another on her both arms, preventing her from moving.

-I won't leave you ever, I am your worst nightmare, a throaty and scary voice whispered in her ears. Her breath and her heart started to panic and she struggled under his grip and with all the force, she pulled him on the floor, she elbowed his liver side, harshly and he winced in pain. He loosened his grip, like a cat, she quickly turned, facing him, she grabbed him by the neck and closed his hand in fist. She triggered her knock when he stopped her, hiding his face between his palm.

-Zed, it's me, Leo, it's me, calm down, he begged her.

She was still in trance, totally in stupor with what happened to her, that she froze for a second, to register what he was saying. He called her again and she lossened her grip around his collar but her body was still shaking. She jerked him, cursing him under her breath.

-LEO, ARE YOU MAD? You ...

-I am sorry, it's just that I hear you say that math is your worst nightmare, I just want to play prank, I am sorry, he sat up, looking totally in shock, he didn't know that she will take it so seriously.

-You...She pointed at him, but suddenly, her breath was sharp and block by this sudden tension, I..., she was suffocated, holding her abdomen, she fell on her knee. She tried to control her breath, but it became impossible.

-Zeed, look at me, look at me, he cupped her face and forced her to look at him, breath with me, he inhaled deeply and exhaled longer and slowly, do it again, Zed, follow me.

At the beginning, she couldn't do it, but his touch and his confort helped her and she did as he told her. Few minutes, she was back to normal. Her breath was still sharp but under her control.

-are you ok? He sat next to her

-ya, never do this again, you hear, never, she wiped her tears

-I am sorry, I didn't know, I just want to scare you, but I said to myself, you will slap me, so that's why I block your hands, I am sorry, it was just a stupid joke, I shouldn't have done this. She just nodded at him, understanding. She was still tensed and he wanted to light up her mood, now I know why Bruce Lee always breath like this before any fight, she turned to him, because he was scared, the myth collapses in front of my eyes.

-you are just an idiot, she chuckled softly

-so Miss Zidi is human, afterall

She smacked him on his head and he fell playfully on the floor.

-ouch, she killed me, he stabbed himself laying on the floor

-continue and I will kill you for sure

-ahhh, ya Allah, what I deserve, I am too perfect for her, he sobbed exagerately

-you are scared from nothing, as I can see

- nothing can make me anxious, as long as you are with me, he laughed at her and she just smacked her forehead from his naughtiness.

-it's ok, Mister Khan, it was just a panic attack, are you ok? He nodded, you're sure?

-yes, I'm fine. She hitted him on his shoulders, OUCH, he rubbed it, why did you do this?

-because you are just an idiot, why did you hit your chest like this? You want to open you injury.

-I was angry, he said softly

-I don't care if you are angry, next time, you should try to control it or I will give you an injection, Mister Khan.

-NO, please, I hate injection, he pouted like a baby

-perfect then, Mister Khan was human afterall, and see your room, look at this mess, all of this paper, if you were allowed to bow down, I would have force you to clean you room. He smiled at her. What? You think it's funny?

-It's just that you are acting like a perfect mother

-because you are acting like a child, Mister Khan

-I will until you care for me, his eyes hid a strange emotion that she didn't understand. He couldn't ignore when she said that she cared earlier, even if as a patient, she cared for him and that is all that matters. He didn't want to compare himself with other patient, he wanted to think that he was special, like she was for him.

-Anyway, I don't want you to yell or to yell at those poor guys outside. I am leaving now and I will back later to see a clean room. Am I clear?

-YES BOSS,

-you are the most childish man, I've ever seen, she finally left, shaking her head and smiling at his naughtiness.

His smile fade away when she left, like everytime, she used to leave, she always took a part of him. His panic attack was only due to her words: I will leave you and you will never see me again. He felt suffocated for a second and his breath came back to normal because she was with him, but what about those last 13 years, when he couldn't breathe without her? Since she left, he stopped to live and this weight was partly removed now that he found her. He can breathe again after so long.

She brought him to time when he used to dream, when he used to not care, when he was young without responsabilities. Her smile was moment in time where nothing counted, only her. She might be sad to know the man that he became, he wasn't suppose to be this one, he didn't plan even if his life was written for him this way. He just didn't expect that since, she left, he would have become the last thing that he wanted to be. He touched his face and closed his eyes, still enjoying her touch on his face.

In the evening

She didn't come as she promised, she was supposed to check his room, but it was already 2 am and she was nowhere to be seen. He huffed in his bed, impossible to find sleep and this non-stop bip was making him crazy. He stood up and wanted to walk a bit, maybe he will relax his mind a bit.

-come with me ma'am, I take you for a walk, he said to his monitoring machine, it's only his physical attach to his heart, he took it with him and went out his room. The corridor was empty and quiet. It seemed calm, and no one will stop him. He walked silently, he didn't know where to go but he just walked. He went throught pediactric floor and geriatrics floor, he went up and down, testing all the floor when he was in the elevator, he was starting by enjoy this night hike.

Zoya finished to complete her files for this night and she was exhausted and her back was paining. She stretched her arms and moaned throaty.

-I hate doing this, she massaged her neck. Oh sh**, I forget to check Asad, what the time? 2 am, he must be sleeping right now. She stood up and looked out of the window. She loved the night, its quietness and its melancholia, it was always her favorite part of the day. When she was young, she used to roam in the road all alone, for hours, watching people living, sleeping, shouting, and drinking. The night was scared but she felt safe, she was young and crazy and wasn't totally unware about all the danger that she might face. She stopped this habbit when she grew up and now there was only one place when she could enjoy this view without her darker side.

She went to the roof, it was her favorite place, when she felt gloomy, or sad after a bad day. A fresh air was always welcomed for her, it gave her a good vibes and helped to start with fresh mind. She opened the door and went to the roof, when she was surprised to hear some sound, like a non-stop bid. A stranger companion, she thought. She came closer and saw some silhouette, her eyes grew when she found who it was and grew up wider looking at what he was doing here.

-Mister Asad Ahmed Khan, what is this? He turned back and smiled awkwardly at her.

-well, let me introduce you Leo my new friend, this is Leo, he can be psychorigid sometimes and Leo, meet my friend, cigarette

-I know what it is, Miss Zidi, but why are you smoking? He asked his hands on his waist, she looked at him and the cigarette that she was holding.

-because I like to smoke, she said sarcastically, that's it

-really? Do you know all the danger that smoking can...

-oh, please, spare me this, I know most of them, I will die from cancer, my skin will become darker, my theeth, my nails, my lungs, my a** and blab la bla, she took one sip and blew away. Look Leo, the smoke going away is like a slow move of a dancer, it's like poetry without words, a brush stroke without painting, it's like...

-it's like crazy girl that think, she's a wiser, he arched his eyebrow

-I am crazy and you know what, this is who I am, I don't care about anyone or anything, she blew on his face and he coughed shaking his hand to remove this smoke. Leo, you should do things that going out of ordinary, just try.

-I don't think smoke is something special, in fact, is really common to smoke at our age. Only few of us didn't try once and I must say I am really disappointed to see you following this easy habbit.

-Try to smoke, you will see it's not so easy.

-Zed, you should stop smoking, it's not good for you

-I should? Do you really think I will follow your order? You don't know what is good for me, Leo, so please, be nice and let me enjoy this moment.

-I don't want to see you smoking, Zed

-what? You are going to stop me? She said arrogantly, nothing will stop me to smoke, she laid down on the grass, relishing her cigarette.

-My Dad die from lung cancer, because he used to smoke a lot, he said sadly. Zoya froze and looked at him, she didn't know if he was joking or not, but his sad face and his serious tone made her crush her cigarette.

-I...I'm sorry, I ..didn't know, she looked down, feeling ashame and sad for him.

He sat next to her, looking straight and playing with small leaf on his feet.

-I don't want you to smoke, Zed

-Leo, I can't promise you this

-please at least, try, he looked into her eyes and she slightly nodded

-I'm sorry for you dad

-I am sorry too, she looked up, I lie to you, and my dad didn't die in lung cancer

-What the !!!!!!! She ran to catch him but he escaped from her grip as fast as he can, they spent sometimes running behind each other, she threw her shoes on him and splat some sweet words expressing her anger. Finally, she held on his shoulders and jumped on his back, twisting his ears.

-how dare you lying to me, Leo!!!!

-ouch, ooouuu, crazy girl, leave me, he tried to push her hand from his face, but she had two , when he pushed one, she put the other.

-oh no, you will face me and I'm going to kick you fu*** a**, pu*** cat

-this is ouch...mean...ouch, leave me, you are hurting me

-this is not over yet...She took this time his glasses and he was lost, he can't see anything without, he lifted his arms to oriente himself and in panic, he started to run incoherently

-I can't see anything

-perfect, you will not see this slap on your..She stopped when she saw him rushing against the tree, ON YOUR LEFT, ON YOUR LEFT. But he went to his right. Not this left, THE OTHER IDIOT

-WHAT??? I HAVE ONLY ONE LEFT, he yelled at her

-this is YOUR RIGHT, she pulled his left ears to show him, go on your..But it was too late, he crushed his face against the tree hardly.

-ouch, she hissed for him.

His head was dazed due to the hit and he began to stagger, she stood on her feet and preparing herself to catch him, but he fell out all his body crushing on her with all his weight.

-Ouch Leo, you are hurting me with your bones, she pushed him and he rolled on her side.

Both laid on the grass, breathing with an open mouth, Leo touching his face to analyse the damage and Zed, still holding his glasses in her hand.

-take it, she addressed him what he was looking for.

-thank you, he finally can see clearly, he always felt blind when he didn't have them. He always panicked without them.

-you deserve it, you should have not lie to me, Leo, she turned to face him.

-why do you smoke, Zed? He asked her simply, and she turned her face away from him and sighed.

-because I need it and it helps me to escape from this life

-you have many thing that can help you to escape, and smoking is not the thing that will help you, this thing will only make you addict. Escape means to be free but you are only caged yourself with this. You just ignore your major problem by hiding behind another many small problem, thinking that will help you to kill those voices, but not, you are lying to yourself, hiding behind a mirage of smoke.

-Leo, you don't know my life, and you don't know what I went throught, it's easy to give me lecture, but you don't know my life. She said bitterly.

-I am not judging you Zed, I'm just trying to show you, that no matter what you are doing, it will not help you. You have your family, you have person who cares for you.

-Leo, just leave it, you have your life and you will never understand what the feeling to be alone all the life. She stood up and walked away, but his laugh stopped her. She froze and looked at him, hurt. How can he laugh at her?

-I don't know what to feel alone? You mean seriously? Did you see me? You were the first who talk to me as a person here.

-I didn't mean this, you are just rejected because you are too kind, what I mean, it's here, she showed her heart, when no matter who was around you, you will always feel alone. The space was never filled no matter what.

-and you think the smoke will fill it?

-Leo, spare me any of your lecture, please, I am not in a mood to listen any sarcasm or philosophic poetry. She turned away but he stopped her again.

-I am orphan since I was 3, Zed. She froze again and turned to face him, was it again playing with her? And this time, I am not lying, like he felt her question. I didn't lost my dad in cancer, no, I lost both of them, in car accident. I didn't get in my life the occasion to call someone ammi or abbu, maybe, I said it before they die, as we told me, I spoke quickly than I walked, see even at young age, I hate sport. Both chuckled gloomily. The only person that I grew up, was my nanny and my advocate, who was in charge of my fortune. Oh, yes, I forget to tell you, my parents were really rich, I mean really but I will only have it next year. Damn it, I can't even buy a call girl for me now, she smacked him hard, ouch!!!! I was joking, why did you take it so seriously now? Just to tell you, my dad was the owner of this school, at 70% and soon, it would be mine. He looked at the building with soft smirk.

-you own this school? She was stunned, you are joking right?

-not at all, that's why they hated me here, when they knew that I can't do anything for them, they used and played with me. Anyway, it would have been easy for me to curse destiny for my fate, to hate everyone and to be cruel, I have a lot of money afterall, it would have been normal to become like Akram. But, it would have been easy and so common. This is what I was supposed to do, to destroy because I was lonely and I was supposed to be sad, because everyone left me. But NO, I want to do something else, something different. My fate was already written for me Zed, I was predicted to take all my parent's fortune and to take care of, but I had other plans, I want to travel all around the world, world trip you know, I want to see the world, not only in my book but in real, I want to see what it's mean to be with person who don't know you, who don't care who you are. Where nothing was planned but only your feet will guide you to a new road. He smiled. And when I will finish, I want to be a doctor, I want to help, I want to save, I want to be usefull for other, to feel gratitude for saving a life. We are enough selfish in our life, why don't we think about other? I love human being, even if they don't love themselves he looked at her, I never hate anyone or anything no matter what. I don't remember much about my parents, but all I remember is my dad, holding my hand and saying: stand up son, stand up son. And each time, I feel myself sad or rejected, I heard his voice. He closed his eyes, recalling this foggy image of his father.

-Leo, she held his hands and couldn't hold her tears

-you know Zed, it's easy, SO easy to destroy ourselves, easy to give pain, and misery but there is no satisfaction in it. We have all our fears Zed and it took time, see I am scared here but I know that once I will be out from here, I will be free. But you are feeling free here and alone when you are outside. Life was not easy but we have the choice to stand up or to let the current taking us away. I know I don't know your life and I can't understand, but punishing yourself for thing that you can't face or scared you, it's not a way to survive. You didn't choose this life but she choose you, but you can write the chapters and change them with your descisions. Just do it and stand up. You are a fighter but you are in the dark and you fight shadow, once you will tam them, you will know what to do. The most important thing in having wounds, it's not what it makes you , but what you do with.

He touched her shoulders in confort while she was crying, she discovered a new person in him, not the nerd, but he can sensitive and mature. She realized how much he was stronger than her and she was the one who was weak. He faced a lot but still, he was full with hope. She chuckled bitterly when he touched her shoulders, he wasn't judging her, he was just giving her his hand. She breathed deeply and started to narrate her part of her life.

-sometimes, I wished I had no parents, Leo than having those that I have. As you said, we didn't choose life and I didn't choose my parents. My dad always wished to have a son but unfortunately for him, I was born as a girl. He never had any tender gesture towards me, nor even a word and all he sees in me, was a mistake. Unconsciously I wanted to be a boy and to please him, I started to combat sport, but for him, it didn't change anything. And once, I became a girl and I physcically change, it became worst and spent his time shouting on me, how to dress and how to act. Now, my game is to irritate him the most. In front of society, we are the perfect family and he always forced me to act well and to listen to his words, but when the door is closed, he ignored me.

-and your mum?

-My mum, I don't know what she is really. She was teenage girl trapped in woman body, she just wanted to have fun. She spent most of her time, shopping, gossiping, and travelling. One day, she told me that I damaged her silhouette when she was pregnant. Her pregnancy was a mistake. Was it my fault? Both of them were just a cursed and I hate them, I really hate them, especially because of that day. He kept silent, he didn't want to interrupte her.

-My dad loved to throw parties, he is rich and it's kind of business party. They spent most of their time, drinking, talking loudly smoking, and flirting with each other, disgusting was those nights. I used to lock myself in my room, I was not invited for sure. One night, I forgot to lock my room, and I was listening to the music loudly in my earphones that I...didn't hear him entering, her voice started to shake. He ...closed my mouth with one of his hand and with the other, he clasped both of my arms, like you did Leo. He felt low and he understood why she reacted like this. He said with his voice smelling alcohol: you want to play with daddy. He forced me to lay down on the bed and snatched my top, I was yelling, asking for help but no one could hear me. His dirty mouth was on my skin, Leo felt disgust like she was feeling now. I was alone, so alone and no one could help me, I grabbed my walk-man and I hitted his head with it as hard as I can. And he fell next to me. And I kept hitting him, again and again and again and again on his face, she was hitting the grass repeatedly, he was bleeding, but I didn't stop, he pushed me and I fell on the floor. I opened the door and I crushed myself to my father, telling him what happened? He looked at the man, who came behind me.

Flash back start

-Abbu, abbu, he...he...she couldn't talk and everyone stopped to watch the drama

Gaffur Sidiqui looked at Mr Bajaj , his face all covered with blood.

-she tried to seduce me and when I told her I can't, she started to beat me, Mister Gaffur, you have to trust me, he lied.

-Abbu, it's not true, I swear, it's not true, YOU ARE LYING, she shouted back

-STOOOP, he yelled, go to your room

-Abbu,

-I-said-go-to-your-room, he ordered

She ran crying to her room and but before she was far, she heard her father saying the bitter words that she heard

-I am so sorry, Mr Bajaj, I apologize from her behavior

She felt her stomach twisted, once in her room, she sat on the floor, she didn't want to sit on this bed anymore.

Her mother followed her and closed the door behind her.

-What happened?

-He tried...He tried to...she sobbed and couldn't mutter a word.

-Men, there are all the same, she just said, you know Zoya, there is two way to control a men, seduction or power, and I must say that you invented a new way, the force. Razia put some lock behind her ears, Zoya looked at her mother totally astonished by this impredictable gesture. For the first time, her mother showed a tender gesture to her.

-Ammi, she crushed her body into her and cried with all her might

-don't cry, you will spoil my dress, she said annoyed

-I am sorry Ammi, she sniffed and she pulled apart.

-you know that crying makes look old, now, stop crying and wiped your tears, Razia wiped herself her tears but Zoya cried even more, ya Allah, from where did you bring all this water? Zoya chuckled at her mother.

-what was this, Zoya? Gaffur entered angrily in her room.

Razia stood between Zoya and her father, and Zoya hide behind her like a hurt dog.

-gaffur, you know the reputation of this man, and you know exactly that Zoya was telling the truth

-I know that, that why I told you, he pointed at her, to lock yourself in your room, WHY YOU DIDN'T OBEY ME? TELL ME

-I..

-Gaffur, stop it now, she is not fine and she is stress, it was enough traumatic for her. Gaffur looked at his daughter with her puffy red eyes and he softened for a second. What are you going to do with him?

-I'll fix everything, and YOU, you can go anywhere but I want you to be as far as possible during those party, am I clear to you? Zoya nodded vehemently. And PLEASE, change your clothes.

He finally left and Zoya cried again.

-it's ok, Zoya, stop crying and go to your bed.

-Ammi, can you hold me? She asked

Razia spread nervously her arms and Zoya held on her tight. Razia posed her hands somewhat randomly on her back, but it was enough for Zoya. Razia never experimented to be mother, she never planned to be pregnant and it just happened. She didn't know how to do and it was not easy for her to behave like a mother. She felt nervous suddenly and push her away.

-go and sleep now

-I don't want to sleep here, she said, Razia understood her fears.

-go in the guest room, tomorrow, I will ask he servant to move all your stuff in the guest room.

-thank you Ammi.

Razia looked at her, sadly and left the room

Flashback stopped

-My parent was a mixed of selfish and egoistic person. I thought that my mum will behave differently, but nothing changed, she go back to her futile life and my dad didn't talk much to me after this. And now, when there is party, I went out, walking in the street during all night, I felt more secure outside than in this house. I hate myself and I hate them.

Leo didn't know how to react, he could understand why she was always looking sad. He couldn't touch her without her permission, knowing now, what she went throught.

-Zed, take this, he gave her a key

-what is this?

-I guess it's a key, she looked angrily, I'm joking, it's my house keys. When there is party, you can come at my home, Zed.

-Leo, I don't need to...

-listen first before you say no, I have a big house and I am only living with my nanny, I have more than 6 room. You can try one night, if you are not feeling secure, you can leave, I will not force you. But please try, once.

-why you do this to me? I don't need any pity

-it's not a pity, it's just that company at home it's always interesting for me. I love my nanni but she didn't have much discussion than, did you eat? Did you do your homework? Go to sleep? She chuckled

-and you want mine?

-yes, at leat there is some variation, I am going to kick your ass, you are just an idiot, I don't want to study, I do what I want, etc etc...What do you think? Just give a try me.

-I can believe you are doing this, Mister Khan

-oh come one, it's just one cigarette and I am sure you tried once, right?

-yes, but it was years ago and I let this bad habbit. You Mister Khan, you are not allowed to smoke. And by the way, where did you get it?

-I asked some girl and I just waggled my eyelash to her and she gave me

-Men, all the same, she said

-what? I didn't force her? She was too kind

-you should stop this habbit, I don't want you to smoke

-you really think I will stop just like this, he blew away some smoke from his mouth.

-I lost my dad in cancer lung, Mister Khan. He coughed and faced giving her a look of "Really".

-nice try, Doctor Farooqui, using guilt, but I know this prank

-you're really think that I will play this kind of joke about my father, Mister Khan?

-I don't know, if you are serious or just using all the trick to convince me?

-if I understand something in this life, is that we can't change, if we don't want to change. Why changing something that it makes us feel good?

-exactly

-then, a lie or a truth will not change your view, then I want to ask you first. Why are you smoking, Mister Khan? You are feeling good? Happy? Or are you hidding behind this smoke? She looked deeply into his eyes and only saw pain, he smirked.

-Actually, I hate to smoke, I really hate the taste but it's just when I miss some moment, I smoke thinking about those happy moments, I have a part of them with me and I am feeling happy. He threw the cigarette and looked to the sky.

-Mister Khan, if you really want to have those memories, you only need to close your eyes and it won't harm you at all.

-I know, but the cigarette was the key of that moment, Zoya

-it's the day that she left you? He gazed at her in stupor, did she know? He wondered

-how do you..

-well, when you were under sedative, you always keep saying the same words, don't go, don't leave me. So, I just guess. Mister Khan, if destiny had put distance between you and her, there is a reason.

-yes, there is the reason and the reason is because of me, I spoil everything between us, Zoya. I said some bitter words, I should have not said. He was like talking to her but she was clueless that those words of apology were for her.

-no matter the reason Mister Khan, who was in fault or who started? You can change it. Sometimes, we have to loose thing to become who we are now.

-since she left, I am not anymore the man that I wished to be, I became bitter, lonely and no emotion was in my heart anymore. I only remembered that I have a heart the day I was been shoot, is it ironic?

-this bullet that pierce your heart, just remind that it still beating under your chest, that you neglected for so long. And it's time for you to take care. Allah gave you another life, Mister Khan, what you went throught was behind you and you are just stuck, griping on it like it will make you feel better, but the truth is that it just make you addict, like this cigarette. This bullet change your life and you have to control what you let away since she left.

-I hate myself and I hate my life, Zoya

-I know Asad. I was just like you, as teenager, I used to hate my parent, my school, my life, I missed nothing in my hate, but one day, I met a boy, he was normal with a strange name, his name is Leo. He pursed his lips, feeling relieved that she was still remembering him. It was kind of guy, I only need to push him with one finger and he will fall or if it was you, you will only need to blow on him and he will fly. He changed my life, he changed my way to see life. His life was not easy but he was always wearing a smile in his face, no matter what. I was maybe stronger physcically than him, but he was stronger mentally than any person, I have ever met in my life. He had so many dreams, he wanted to change the world in some way. He was wearing a glasses, awful, I used to hate them, but the truth was that I was the one who needed them to see clearly life. I saw the life throught his eyes and he taught me. I used to trust him so much, more than myself. He always had the right word to talk to me, and God, knows how I can be complicated. Both chuckled. He was the best thing that happened to me and the worst. He came into my life, changed it and left. Some person will be in your road for sometimes and left. It can be sad but the reality was that they were just here to show you the good road or to push toward another one. All the encoutner was not good, but after each one, you became different. I was like you, once we separated from Leo, I was stick to this past and I did what he wanted to do. His dream was to travel around the world and I did it, because I thought maybe I will find him somewhere, but it seemed that his route was different. Then he wanted to become a doctor and so I became a doctor, hoping this time that I will see him. But, not, I never saw him again. I realized years later that I wasn't following him, but I was writing my life, I was supposed all of this, to make me realize who I am and what I was supposed to be. Travelling around the word changes my life and changes me. He showed me the road I was supposed to take, if I didn't meet him, I wouldn't have choose this one but another one. We are misunderstanding many thing when we are sad or depressed, we have our weakness and it's normal. When I was young I used to hate my parent for their lack of love to me, but when I lost my father I realized that, my parent loved me a lot. One of my father's partnership assaulted me one day and my father didn't react instead he howled on me, but I learnt years later, that he ruined that man and put him in jail for harrassement, he did it for me. And my mum was just too young to handle a girl like me, she was just scared and didn't yet become the person that she was supposed to be. I thought that my parent was not loving each other, but I was again wrong, they loved each other so much and I just saw it the day my dad tell her goodbye.

Both started to cry now, she wiped her tears.

-and he asked me to forgive him, he didn't know how to do with me and he was sorry for everything that he didn't do well. I forgive my dad long time before his disease. I stood by his side during his illness and he understood all this thing that he didn't see earlier. My mum became another woman after that, she took care of my father's company, and she was now happy and accomplished. And with years, we became closer and closer. She gave me all the love that I needed now, even sometimes, it always the same song: did you eat? Did you sleep? Did you find a boyfriend? My mum, I love her, she is so crazy. See, I waited years to see clearly. So Mister Khan, you might be in fog for long time, but this bullet removed everything and tell you to start fresh. You are a newborn man, now.

-I don't feel like this Zoya, but in your past, did you try to find Leo, Zoya? Did you try to find him and to tell him about you? He wanted to know.

-No and I don't want to see him again. He felt a sharp pain in his heart. Leo was the one who helped me in my life, we were supposed to meet and to get separated. I learnt a lot with him and when I was away, I grew up understanding every single lesson. He was my past, but sometimes, I can't ignore his memories, I am just curious to know what he became now. I am sure, he travelled the world 10 times and he was now plastic surgeon, he was a bit pervers with his glasses. But I am sure that he was fully happy with his life, this is what he wanted to do and I am sure that he did it. She predicted hoping that was the truth about his life, but little she ignored that nothing happened as she said to him.

Asad looked away, lost in the light and the car that roamed under his eyes, if you only knew what I became, Zoya? He thought sadly.

-Mister Khan, give a try to your dreams, and let this past behind you. Become the man that you wanted to be and move on.

He nodded at her frantically. She posed for a second looking at him, she didn't know why she told him everything, but she wanted to help him, like someday, one person did for her. She was like him years ago and can understand his pain. She was attach to him in some way and now, she knew why, because, it was the perfect reflection of her when she was young. Maybe destiny put her in his route to show him what to do. His head bowed down and his eyes still shinning with emotions. She left him in his world, changes don't come easy and old habbit can't be remove in one word or one night, everything needed time, and he needed time.

He saw her leaving from the corner of his eyes and let his eyes flowing. He was happy because of him, she became the strong woman that she was. He was proud of her, proud that she reconciled with her parent, found her way to be the beautiful person that she was inside and outside. He punished himself for the pain that he gave her and he caged himself in his worst nightmare, he choose the road that he was supposed to avoid, but he took it because he thought it was what he deserved, he refused to be happy thinking that he broke her heart, but the truth was that she was happy and blooming in her new life. She removed all his guilt. She was true for one thing, that the past will be the past and it was the new dawn for him. Leo was a part of his past and now he was Asad.

-let's give a try, dear monitor but I hope you will not follow me all my life, he tapped it softly, and the rate increased briefly. Woow, too sensitive man, he giggled at himself.

Zoya went down, still lost in this moment. She looked up, expected a response

-where are you Leo, now? And how is your life?