Posted:
Hi everyone. đ This is an OS I wrote after the episode last night 23.07.14. I literally teared up and I needed something to stop getting so worked up over the episode and to assure myself a happy ending is coming upđđđ Also I never wrote a Sahil OS before so i decided to go with the flow and do an OSđSo ignore any errors please, and bear with it, it was just something I began writing to rant after the episode đand Happy Ready! Please leave me lots of love and commentsđđđ
Take care, hope you enjoyđ¤
Lots f love, â¤ď¸
Vaish
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The Dawn of Revelations and Second Chances.
Sanam was crying incoherently. It was 2 a.m and she sat at the pool, her feet hung in the water and her last care was that the ends of her pants were getting soaked.
This was now a routine. Whenever she had a fight with Ahil, and that too one such as tonight, where she couldn't take it anymore, she would come out here for some peace and quiet.
Maybe the pool gave her comfort that at least her tears could still be considered a minute amount.
"Kyun?" she cried over and over. She just didn't know what to do anymore. This wasn't like her to breakdown. She was Sanam Ahmed Khan. She always had witty answers for Ahil.
In the past two and a half months, they had been through numerous fights, but somewhere along the way they were getting closer to reaching common grounds. Sanam started looking out for him more, putting his things in place and he accepted this gesture by returning the same. Slowly, especially in the past two weeks, something had changed about them but neither admitted or accepted it.
But the arguments never ended. Just like now.
Their fight had been going on for the whole week but she could stand it. But then tonight...
He had brought up their nikaah again. He accused her of theft. What the hell was this place?
In their room, Ahil banged his fist into the wall a couple of times and even then his pain could not compare with his emotional turmoil. Soon after Shazia entered and informed him that she had taken money from him without permission as it was a shopping emergency. He hid his fist from her and said it was okay. She hurried back to her room happily, not noticing her brother's tears.
He wanted to scream and shout. Why did he love Sanam so much?
Why did she hurt him? Why did he hurt her? Did she really love Rehaan? Was money really more important than him? She didn't steal from him, but didn't she just marry him for money? Did she not remember all the times he saved her? Did she not feel anything? Did she not see the way he looked at her? Did she not realize how heavy her breathing became when he was around her? Did she not know how she blushes when he says something even moderately nice, that is, a polite "Good Morning" on a day when their fighting seemed more like nok jhok? He felt all these unanswered questions circling his head and realized he could wait no longer for answers. He stormed out of the room to go look for her.
When he found her crying her eyes away by the pool he froze. He was so selfish, desiring answers to all his questions when he hadn't even realize how much he'd scolded her an hour ago. He had pushed her into the cupboard in a fit of rage and broke her bangles against her hands.
He couldn't face himself, much less for facing her.
He was about to turn but at the same time she saw his reflection and turned to look at him.
She didn't even bother to wipe her tears or speech him off.
She just looked at him, blinking away tears after tears.
"Sanam.." he started, not knowing how to continue.
Her cries became louder and more painful and he rushed to her side.
"Tumhe..."she said between tears, "sach mein lagta" , she paused again, coughing up on her tears, "main?"... "chor?"
Her voice almost croaked as she spoke and Ahil pulled her up and decided to take her to their room. She was rather loud and he didn't want anyone to witness this.
As he took hold of her arms to help her up, she flinched as he touched them and her head rocked back and her left hand flew up to caress her head.
"Kya hua? Ahil asked worriedly, gathering her against him even more as he felt her body become loose against his.
"Chakar.." she said softly.
"Did you eat? Anything?"
She laughed bitterly. "Why do you care?"
"You should eat" he said and started guiding her to the kitchen.
"Nahi.. kamra" she spoke, taking deep breaths in between, regaining her composure.
They began walking and moments after another wave of dizziness washed over her and she grabbed onto him.
He realized what was happening and lifted her in his arms and carried her.
She fought against him, even in her weak state.
"Don't touch me! I'm a thief" she cried as she banged her fists, which were barely fists due to the amount of energy she was lacking, against his chest, and he could almost not feel a thing, beside the excruciating ache in his heart.
He laid her down on the bed and sat at her side, making her drink water.
"I hate you."
"I'm sorry"
Both spoke at once and when they realized what each other said, they wished they could take their words back.
"Sorry?"
"Sanam.. what I said.."
"I don't want to hear a thing" she said, a fresh line of tears streaming down her face.
"Please listen to me."
"Today you will listen" she stated wiping her tears.
"Main ek chorr hoon? Ahil... aap yeh kaise.." her chest hurt so much she couldn't bare the tears that began flowing next.
"I know it wasn't your fault. Shazia just told me she took money from me"
"So everything's okay now? How could you? You ... Maine sirf aapse nikaah kar le meri Badi Ammi ke liye" she cried out, " main ek chor nahi hoon" she bawled again and again and Ahil didn't know if to comfort her or find out more about what she was saying.
"Badi Ammi?"
"She.." she inhaled deeply then continued, " was in the hospital, she had a heart attack"
"Kya?"
"Shut up" Sanam snapped between her tears. "I had no money, doctors kept saying I needed to pay 20 million. Where was I ...I didn't know what to do" She wiped her eyes again.
"Begum Sahiba came and paid for the surgery. She stayed with me, supported me. I told her I will forever be indebted to her and I promised I would do anything for her."
"Badi Ammi was fine, the surgery was successful and Begum Sahiba met me again and asked me to do something for her and I agreed without knowing what."
Ahil was grief stricken.
"This is how I married you. She didn't want Nida to ruin this family and her son so she made me marry you"
"Ahil.. I didn't do it for money. I did it to thank her for the money she spend on BadiAmmi"
Ahil's face remained shocked, he couldn't believe this. His rash actions and stupidity hurt Sanam so much, the woman whom he loved, and he hadn't even realized she wasn't at fault for anything. He felt anger surge through him towards the woman who he considered his mother and she lied to him.
"Ahil , main chor nahi hoon" she cried again and this time she bent her head, letting her tears fall on her hands.
"Every girl has dreams about her marriage. I didn't because I just needed to make a living for Badi Ammi and Haya. Then I was thrown into this. And you blame me?"
"Sanam.." he started but stopped as tears began rolling down his eyes.
"Main koi chor nahi hoon" she hiccupped and he grabbed the glass of water and held it to her mouth.
She closed her eyes and drank the water but when she opened her eyes she was astonished to see his bloodshot eyes. Ahil cries too? she thought.
"Ammi ne mujhse kaha ki aapne sirf paise ke liye... you only married me for money. She didn't explain"
"Kya? And you believe her?"
"She's my Ammi. And you always hated me so I thought that I being hurt and disappointed was stupid and I should've expected that."
"I hate you? You hate me!" she cried, hitting him with her fist again.
"I don't"
Sanam was agape. "What?"
"I decided to hate you because I thought you hated me"
"I decide to hate you because I thought you hated me!" Sanam began crying profusely again.
"Ahil.. I don't know what to do anymore. Stop being mean to me. I can't take it. My heart can't take it. My eyes can't take it. I don't know what it's like to not shed tears anymore. Pleaseee. Pleasee don't hate me. I am not a thief." she literally begged, her lips quivered and her nose was running. Her tears were endless and he didn't know what to do.
So he awkwardly spread his arms a bit and welcomed her in. She didn't realize at first, but he pulled her closer and soon she was crying into the crook of his neck.
"Shhh. Bas.. Main janti hoon ki tum chor nahin hoon. Shh" he said trying to soothe her.
"I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Never wanted you to think I hated you. I didn't like you at first, but now I have learnt. Now I really do lo..." he stopped before voicing his feelings. Sanam had pulled back when she heard his slip of the tongue, and furrowed her eyebrows waiting for him to continue.
"I really respect you. And I have nothing against you. I...apologize for everything I have done. I know one sorry mighten work but I need your forgiveness. Let's start over"
"I'm sorry too"
"No Sanam, you have nothing to be sorry for"
"I do. It takes two to fight."
"Do you accept my apology?"
"You have hurt me a lot. Just two more weeks left, and now you want to apologize?"
"What if..."
"What?"
"I know we didn't get along, but after tonight, we should give this another chance. I told you on our wedding night. Marriage is a commitment. We came so far, to even apologize to each other. It must mean something right?"
"I can't forgive and forget that quickly. I need time"
"Take all the time you need, just tell me you will consider giving this a chance."
She nodded, hesitantly. But it was enough to make Ahil's heart soar.
"You are very weak. You should get some rest." he said abruptly and when he realized she had pulled away but his arm was around her waist still, he removed it and stood up.
He covered her with the blanket and went over to his side after switching off the lights.
Sanam was about to place the pillows between them but stopped. Tonight was their first real hug. After their apologies and tears, it didn't seem right to rebuild a wall between them.
"If you don't mind.." she started off when she found Ahil looking at her with questioning eyes.
"I don't at all" he confirmed and then laid down.
He heard her sniffling and saw that she was still crying. He turned toward her and was about to wipe her tears away but stopped and balled his hand into a fist. Sanam saw this and knew he was angry at himself. He had done many wrong things, but he did some right too. She remembered all the times he had saved her. Even stood up for her in front of Nida and Begum Sahiba before and after her marriage. She had started caring for him and she was mad as hell but she needed him tonight.
She put his hand on his balled fist and placed it around her.
He looked at her, startled. He never thought she would accept something like this. That she would be okay with him displaying affection.
"I haven't decided yet. I don't even know what I think. I don't know if to cry or not, but I don't know how stop either. So please, just hold me for tonight?" she whispered, silent tears still staining her already wet cheeks.
"I... I'll always hold you" he whispered gathering her closer to him and wrapping his arms tightly around her.
"Main chor nahin hoon"
"Shhh I know. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I should have never said that. I promise I won't ever say something like that again , okay?"
"Please keep that promise. I ... I don't like when you hurt me" she said rubbing her nose against his kurta. Her crying was subsiding.
"IS MY KURTA A NAPKIN?"
"Please don't scold me" she said, her voice breaking and Ahil was afraid she would start back sobbing.
"My kurta is a napkin, Sanam. Wipe your nose. Go ahead"
Her felt her chuckle lightly.
"Shh now go to sleep. From tomorrow we will begin new lives."
"Sach?"
"Bilkul."
"I forgive you"
"What?"
"Well.. I wouldn't. But if you want to start afresh it won't be fair if I don't forgive you na?" she said trying to reason out why she forgave him so soon. She didn't know. Maybe she didn't care. She just wanted to let bygones be bygones because what he was offering her right now, was the most she could have ever gotten.
"Thank you"
"I never thought I would ever see the day when you would tell me sorry or thank you"
"I never thought I would see the day when you'd forgive me"
"So it's a win- win for us both"
"Goodnight Sanam."
"Goodnight Jallad Jin"
"Sanam" he reprimanded gently.
"Goodnight Ahil Raza Ibrahim" she said sweetly, "Better?" She yawned and felt her weary eyes taking control.
"Much. Goodnight Mrs Ahil Raza Ibrahim" he said and she smiled as she fell into a slumber. A sweet slumber in the arms of her husband, but more importantly, her newly found companion.
"I love you. So much. I wish you knew" He whispered and held her more tightly. He smiled and thanked Allah because right now, even though he wished she knew of his love, he was too happy to comprehend that fact that she was in his arms.
As he said those words, she snuggled deeper into his chest and wrapped an arm around him in her sleep. Even if she couldn't hear it, she could feel it. She could feel his love.
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