Part 3:
Smoke
The room reeked of cigarettes, clouds of hazard trying to desperately escape with no avail. They were held captive by an apathetic ruler.
Ruler, the thought was amusing. A term too highly in my opinion.
A ruler ruled his subjects, what was I to rule? My dear cigarettes? Each puff took a piece of this unwanted life away, my beloved cigarettes.
I was reborn, the day I smoked my first cigarette. They gave me second life, only to leave me begging for an escape.
The door opened. My cigarette on the floor, not fully distinguished, the fire still fighting for life. I didn't even realize I was being dragged out until my back was thrusted against the cold concrete wall. A pocket-knife held to my neck. I laughed, how elementary.
"If I find you here one more time, I swear. One. More. f**king. Time."
She let go. And that's all I could remember, before the day went dark.
***
I woke up on a "clean" sheet. A pair of clothes on the side table. I looked around, to see where I had been brought this time.
Ahh this place again. The ol' wh**ehouse.
"Tanveer?"
"I'm sending some milk, drink it and get lost," she walked in, counting a few notes.
"Should be around, 500 Rs." I commented before getting my shit together. She looked at me, sympathetically. Only to quickly mask it with indifference.
"I didn't arrange for these clothes to put here on display. Go shower and change. I'll send in the milk later."
"That's ok I'll get going now,"
"I know you don't give a rat's ass about yourself, but unfortunately you're fortunate enough to have people who do. So if you stopped being so goddamned difficult..."
"Why do you keep trying Tanveer?"
"The day you realize Allah ne tumpe kitni rehmat ki hai, you'll know why."
"Oh cut the crap Tanveer, you and I both know that the only reason you're holding onto me like an anchor is because you see him in me. But you need to understand I'm not him, and I never will be."
"Tanveer."
It was her.
Tanveer conceded to her call.
Humeira entered, her eyes seemed to have finally dried. I felt helpless, like I always did.
Zoya would yell, scream, and maybe even slap me a few times if it was really bad. But Humeira would stand behind her sister, and fight the whirlpool of the shittiest feelings possible to humankind. The ones that ate away at your soul leaving you empty before you could even tell. All those years, it was her silent stare that always hurt the most. But today, the first time in all these years she came alone. And she spoke.
"I... I didn't tell Di about this."
"Thank you."
"I didn't do it for you." She clarified. "It's just kind of difficult to constantly see the man you love remind you why you're a fool."
"I can only imagine," I was incapable to offer her the words she needed to hear, words I didn't have the right to say.
"I never knew him, but from what I hear about him, your brother wouldn't have been very happy with the current state of affairs either."
She managed to make a man like myself smile, albeit mentally. "Bhai-jaan would've killed me. He was kinda like your sister."
"Well then clearly he would have."
Her tone. She was hiding something.
"Seeing you like this would've killed him, and I'm sure unlike yourself he believed your existence had a point. That your life went beyond that pack of cigarettes." Her voice got quieter near the end. She had begun to cry without the aid of tears. And I couldn't help.
"But he's gone, and I'm just an extinguished flame that's being forced to survive in the ashes."
"Ayaan," she finally fell. She turned her head to fight that same whirlpool. Her eyes glistened, she was going to succumb.
She didn't deserve to lose a battle at my expense.
"Humeira, please d-do..don't," I didn't know how to handle situations like these. I just didn't need to see this, yes I was a selfish bas***d.
However now I could go beyond imagination and understand what it felt like to see the person you... To see them at your feet, lost. Excuse my limited vocabulary but it felt like shit.
"Don't worry... I won't cry..." she gathered herself, still on the ground. "I'm human, it's my weakness. But I'm working on it."
"It's not a flaw, I mean, certainly works in your favor..." It came out in mumbles.
"Thanks for trying."
"I wasn't tr..."
Her dupatta wiped off my useless sweat, her thumb brushed over once. "Go take a shower," she stood to hand me the arranged-for white kurta and pajama.
"Thanks." I waited for her to leave.
She attempted a whimsical smile, making her way over to the door, only to stop midway.
Her feet began to inch forward.
With her every step accelerating from the last one, my palm met the mattress before I could even fathom the fact that her lips...were on mine. My blood left me enchanted with the impractical and illogical amount love she brought with her. Her hands tried to engulf every part of me at once, as if I was a flame who would seize to exist in the very next moment. The almighty was ironic, why did he give me the undeserving power to leave her in such a plight? Her suffocated kiss...
...it definitely hurt more than a slap.
***
A/N: Ayaan, Humeira, and Tanveer. Three integral parts of the story, the darkness that was present in this part is here to stay, it's how I plan to write this story, I'm sorry if its too much but I can't compromise with the way I want to write this story. The first parts were a gift, and not to say that this story will be weighed down with heavy duty emotions at every given point. Asad and Zoya were omnipresent, and they won't be in every single part. To be quite honest, Ayaan and Humeira affect me emotionally while writing this story as well. (And I'm supposed to the author. HA!) But unfortunately I've developed the story and its characters beforehand, it's a finite end that I've decided. And upon reflection, I love these two and Tanveer the most.
-Shweta
Edited by -ShwSha- - 11 years ago
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