Chapter 2 - And I Just Died In Your Arms ,Tonight.
Asad's POV
I banged my fist in frustration once more, and I broke one more mirror, and I threw everything upside down once more, and I sat down helplessly and raked my hand through my hair, and tried to calm myself, but ofcourse I couldn't, as my eyes fell on , the crying desperately figure of my bride to be, and I felt like wanting to take her in my arms already, and ask her to stop her tears , but I couldn't, I just couldn't get myself to move, I shut my eyes in sheer pain , that had creeped my being and I rewinded the moments in my mind, and hoped that when I would open my eyes, this would all just be a nightmare, and I would go back to living the dream, that I was.
The Minute I shut my eyes - every moment started flashing in my mind -
The Relief that went through my being, when I finally saw Zoya in front of my eyes, back home, safe and sound, in one piece.
The Worry that had taken over me, as I noticed the Distraught expression on her face.
The Restlessness, as I asked her to explain me what had happened, because I so ,desperately wanted to wipe that look off her face.
The Shock, I had felt when Ayaan called, and told me that Nikhat had slit her wrist.
And Rage, pure rage, when the two people I loved the most in my life, stood right in front of my eyes, and gave me the news, the pain of a lifetime, and I instantly felt betrayed by fate once more, as I stood there, in sheer shock, and listened to my brother and bride to be tell me, that they had commintted a mistake, or rather a blunder.
And then the helplessness , that I felt right now, as I opened my eyes, and I realized, that all of this was indeed happening, and once again , I felt my heart bleed with pain , as I saw the sight of Zoya, crying as helplessly as humanly possible.
There was something , that was needed to be done. Ofcourse, there was, but I still couldn't move, and I couldn't think, because my brain had officialy stopped working , and my lungs were failing to function , and even oxygen wasn't helping me here.
What could I do, when right in front of my eyes, my castle of dreams had crashed, had crashed in the most unexpected way?
What could I do, when My own Fate had played this cruel game with me, yet again?
What could I do, when my Life seemed as if everything had come to a standstill?
A Standstill, yes that's what had happened in that moment.
My Zoya, had accidently promised a lifetime, with my brother, on the day, I was supposed to make her mine , forever. It seemed so absurd, that I almost laughed at this astonishing twist, my life had just taken.Just when I had thought , my life was done playing hide and seek, it stood right there shoving its superiority over my dreams, in my face.
I recalled, Ayaan's words, he expected me to hand Zoya to him for a while, until Nikhat got married.
Hand him , Zoya - the reason for my existence, how could I? How could I?
I was right when I told him , that I wished hed asked me for my Life instead, and I wouldn't have thought even for a second, before giving it to him, but Zoya, she was precious to me, even more precious than my very own existence.
Finally , when I couldn't stand the sight of Zoya's tears anymore, I gathered some strength and I moved, and I went and sat next to her, and I swear , I could feel my own hand tremble in pain, as I watched it touch her shoulder, and she immediately turned, and clung to my chest and howled in so much pain, that it broke my heart even more, not that I knew it was possible for it to break further, than it already had, and so I just let her cry it all out, because I knew , as much as she blamed herself, I couldn't get myself too, because I knew deep down the reason why she left was for Najma, I still didn't know the reason , but I was sure, it had something to do the well being of my sister, and then as Zoya had the knack of landing herself into troubles, she had probably landed up in the scene, and accidently, the blunder had occoured. But did I have the power to deal with this blunder?
I had promised myself long ago, that I would take care of Zoya, and that I would clear every mess, she landed herself into.
But right now, I honestly , didn't know, how to undo the blunder that had happened.
And I also knew, paralelly in this moment, my other sister's life was at stake too, and right then a thought pooped up in my mind, and as much as my heart knew it was wrong , terribly wrong, that was the only thing that seemed sane to me right now, I knew I would regret it later, I know they don't say it for nothing, that one should never make any decisions, in a extreme scenario, because the mind does not have its chemical balances right, and I knew this was an extreme moment, and probably I should think once more, but I don't how, everything else stopped making sense, and I forced Zoya to look at me and I said - "Zoya , please, stop crying, maybe there is a way out of this..."
I made her stand up and she immediately started to cry in pain , once more as she said - " Mr.Khan, please, don't make me go...I cant..."
"Pleasee, I don't want to leave this house, or you and go anywhere..."
"You know I will die without you , Mr.Khan..."
Her painful words, were inflicting even more so pain on my already bruised and broken being , that the only thing I knew, would silence her was my words, and so I used the exact same words - " Aapko hamare pyaar pe yakeen, hai?"
She looked at me distraught, and she stood in silence and I knew I read it in her eyes, that the trust she had on our love, was beyond anything else in that moment, and I promised her, that I would make it alright, if she listened to me...I promised her something , I myself didn't know how I would make it happen, but I knew I would surely , make sure , it happened.
She cried and she hugged me again, whilst she continued to protest, that she couldn't leave me ever, and my heart went out to her, to us, and I immediately cursed my fate for putting us both through a nightmare, yet again, but I hugged her back harder, and I held her close, as I made the decision I knew I would regret, but I had to, because my otherwise overactive mind couldn't come up with anything else, and trust me it is in these moments, when life chooses to test me, I somewhere deep down , do doubt my own intelligence and brilliance, because somewhat I always end up choosing to inflict pain on myself.
I wanted to tell Zoya, the truth, the fact which my Heart was Screaming - that I loved her, and I wasn't going to let her go.
That I would walk out, scream and tell the world, that this accidental Nikaah wasn't valid, and that Zoya, was mine, only mine.
The truth, that I felt like, that I had Just Died in her Arms, tonight, just as my mind had come up with its seeming logical, but definetly illogical decision.
But I didn't.I didn't do any of those.
I didn't tell her anything , and I held her hand, silently , whilst she cried, and I started to walk out the room.
Why wasn't I able to do what my heart wanted in that moment? In that moment? I don't know.
Could It be probably because everything had happened so suddenly, and the pain was so fresh still? Or could it be coz my own heart had gone into a coma state of some sort, where it could sense that whatever was happening was wrong, but it couldn't get itself to act?
And So, as hard as I knew It was, I walked out , with the love of my life, even though, I am sure, she knew that I had Just Died In her Arms tonight, a part of me had, and it wouldn't come alive, until I had her back, just like I could already feel, that a part of her had died in my arms tonight, whilst she howled in pain.
She loved me, didn't she? ? So No matter what I did, I knew, she knew, in her heart, just like I knew it my heart - that no matter what I was going to do now, would be nothing but a ghostly decision , I had taken. I didn't know whether, I was right or wrong. But in that moment , I knew only one truth , that stood in my face, as I felt numbness take over my being, as the realization of what was about to happen sank in me- I wasn't able to feel anything.And I knew I techiniaclly was still alive, as I was still breathing but that one truth sank slowly in my being -That I Just did Die, in Her Arms,Tonight.
Zoya knew it didn't she? That I Just Died in her arms, Tonight?
...
P.S - I was so sad for Asad and Zoya after yesterday, and I somewhat just had to pen down, the pain Asad might be going through, as per my imagination. Let me Know what you guys think...
Gul Khan, I officialy detest your choice of twists...😒 Poor Asya...i was so sad throughout i was writing this...ðŸ˜
But i somewhat feel better now, as I tell to myself that we all know, with due respect that - Gul has her nuts a little loose, anyway😕
...
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Arjun
Cricket
