ASYA OS: Yaadein

So this has been playing on my mind for a few days but when it came to penning it down, it went all wrong. I have no idea how it turned out, do have a read and let me know. Please ignore the mistakes (so tired) and the horrendous hindi.

ASYA OS: Yaadein

She lay there on a bed, in a room that is supposedly hers, and her husband's. She tried figuring out what it was about this place that seemed so familiar yet so strange. Who am I? Zoya, Zoya Farooqui... Well that's what I thought I was called... Until he told me... I am apparently Mrs Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan. How could I be? How can I not remember the addition of 3 names to mine?

It's been a week, I've tried re-connecting with my past, with "my family" but it just wasn't happening. How can I not recognise my own?

She closed her eyes as she heard him enter. Her body froze as she held her breath before she realised he might think she was dead. She breathed out as she waited for him to hold her hand. He had brought her to his home seven days ago, every night he would come to her room whilst she's sleeping. He would repeat his promises before narrating their story, their interactions. How they first met, their first argument, their first hug etc. She couldn't help but smile each time he would describe how he felt; he told the story from his point of view. He loved her, but did she... If he was a stranger, why does she feel so comfortable with him? Then again, if he wasn't her husband why would she feel like she had this fatal attraction towards him? She tried remembering her past whilst twisting and turning in bed every night, all attempts leading to one result; headache.

He admired her beautiful face, the slight smile adorning her face as he touched her hand; she was awake, he knew, she knew he knew. A lone tear escaped his eyes as he remembered why he was here; to remind her of the moments they had spent together to trigger her memory, to remind her of her love by bringing their story alive. How much he wished that she opened her eyes and hugged him tight telling him she remembers. She remembers their Nikkah in Ajmer, she remembers their nokh jokhs, she remembers their love.
He held her hand against his cheek as he stared at her. The air blew her fringe over her eyes making her flinch due to her irritation; however, she didn't move her hands. He caressed her cheeks before tucking her hair back. He stared at the moon glistening in the dark sky before turning his face towards her,

'Main janta hoon Zoya, tum mujhe nahi jaante. Dukh hai iss baat ka tumhein kuch yaad nahin hain. Lekin dukh se badah sukh hai, ki tum zinda ho. Tumhe pata hai Zoya, jab mujhe pata chala ki tum nahin rahe, toh mere andaar kuch maar sa gaya tha, lekin dhadkane dadhak rahi thi… Mein samajh gaya tum kahin nahin gaye, samajh gaya mein ki agar mera dil dhadhak raha hai tumhara dil bhi dhadhak raha hoga kahi na kahi… Yaad hai, humari pehli mulaqat, tumhare dard baari woh aankhein… humara takrana, hum dono ka laadna jagarna, hum dono ka kareeb aana, ek doosre ke daard mein ghul jaana… mujhe yaad hain. Humara woh aaglapan, humara atheeth ka khulasa, hum dono ek dusre ko aapna na, woh imtehaan joh humne diye hai, humaare pyaar ke liye, woh pyaar jo tha lekin humaare hoton paar nahi aa raha tha…
Toh kya hua, aaj agar tum mujhe aajnabee naazron se dekh rahi ho, mein janta hoon, mujhe mujhse zyada tum jaante ho, tum…' He caressed her forehead brushing her hair back,
'Log kehte hain ke rishte woh kadeh hote hain jinme do log ek dusre ke yaadon ke sahare zindagi khat dete hain… Lekin mera dil yeh kehta hai ki rishte woh kadeh hotein hai jis main do log ek saath rehne ke liye, naye yaadein banaalete hain…' He smiled, 'Aaj se mein bhi naye yaadein banaunga aapne rishte ki, haar pal, guzra kal vapaas launga. Humaare rishte ko pehle jaisa banaunga. Toh kiya hua agar mein tumhein puraane yaadein nahi yaad dila sakta toh? Aaaj se haar din, ek naya yaad banunaga. Sirf yaadein gaye hai na Zoya? Zindagi toh hai, shuru se shuru karenge humara zindagi. Jahan hain, wahi se…' He brushed the tears creeping from the side of her eyes. He would repeat the same words every night, assuring her and himself of their new beginning.

11 days ago

'Tum haar gaye hoTanveer, tum humein juda nahi kar paye… hum ek ho gaye!' Smiled Zoya as tears rolled down her cheeks, 'Aaj maar ke bhi tum kya paogi?'

'Sukooon' Yelled Tanveer keeping the gun pointed towards Zoya with her finger on the trigger, her body shivering from rage, her plans had failed once again. Asad had heard the confrontation between her and Zoya, thus, finding out that nothing had happened that night between them. He threatened to kill her in a fit of rage; well he should've because now his wife won't live, 'tumhare yeh chehra mujhe bardaasht nahi ho raha hai… mujhe haara kaar, mera mohra churakar tum maaze le rahe the. Nikaah toh ho gaye, too bad suhaagraat nahi ho payega…' She laughed out loud, her voice echoed into the distance, every valley witness to their interaction.

'Tanveer!!!!!!' Shouted a voice from behind, Zoya looked up as Tanveer turned around to see an enraged Asad standing behind. Tanveer clicked the gun looking back at Zoya,

'Don't move Asad, or else I will shoot her, right here, right now' She threatened with a grin on her face, 'acha hua tum aa gayi, tumhare aankhon ke saamne mein usse khatam kaar dungi… say goodbye to your wife…'

'Tanveer, don't you dare… Zoya ko chor do!' He pleaded helplessly as he stepped forward only to have Tanveer shake her head sideways,

'Usse chor ne ke liye nahi yaha laya, lekin Asad, one more step… and whoooshhh' She pointed upwards, 'POOOF! She's gone!' She laughed,

'What do you want?'

'Wanted, Asad, Wanted! Tumse Nikaah karna chahti thi… lekin woh nahi hua… and mujhe iski shakal nahi pasand… I couldn't marry you, and I don't like her. SOLUTION? Kill this b****!' Tanveer seethed in anger looking at Zoya who was staring at Asad, lifeless.

'Tanve-' Asad froze as he heard a gunshot, he felt suffocated, he choked as his eyes widened. He felt his body go numb as he followed Zoya's hands to her stomach which was now painted red. She looked up and stared into his eyes as she stumbled back a few steps losing her balance. The world around him had slowed down as he paced forward. His gaze remained locked on her huge almond shaped eyes that were yearning for him to run to her. He tried reaching forward with his hands trying to grab her arms that were now pleading for him to hold.

'Asad…' He watched her lips whisper as she fell backwards, slipping on the edge of the cliff. He leaped forward only to viciously hit the ground as his body lay unbalanced half off the cliff watching with horror as Zoya rolled downwards hitting every rock her body could find on its way down before disappearing into the busy jungle.

'ZOYAAA!' Roared Asad as his world came crashing down, his voice echoing into the distance warning every living thing of the storm coming its way. He slid off the cliff, trailing his body against it, he looked back at Tanveer with torn, venomous eyes before jumping off the cliff slowly, gliding his back down the hill ignoring the pain to his back as the rocks tore through his shirt into his skin.

He had spent hours looking for his Zoya. He had called the police to help him look for her. The police had told him to let go of his hopes of finding her alive, he had attacked them before zooming off to find her himself.

3 days later

He faced side wards to conclude his prayers. He raised his hand up to his Almighty for her, thanking Him for guiding him to her, alive. He thanked his Lord for allowing him to breathe, to live by giving her to him.

He looked up to see her moving her body, struggling to open her eyes. He rushed to her side along with the old lady who had taken care of Zoya for the past few days. He was thankful for her hospitality; he would be in debt of her all his life; for she was the one that treated Zoya with her herbal medicines. She was finally gaining consciousness after 3 long days.

'Zoya' He whispered as his misty eyes met hers. What he seen in those eyes killed a part of him inside,

'Aap… Aap kaun ho?' She said weakly, almost whispering, she looked at him as if he was a stranger. She held her head… 'Where am I?'

'Zoya, main hoon, Asad? And tum-'

'Main aapko nahi jaanta…' She cried shrugging his hand of her shoulders; she squirmed on the floor, 'Where am I? Where's aapi and Jeeju' Her lips quivered as her body shook,

'Zoya mein hoon, tumhare shauhar, I'm your husband… Zoya' Asad spoke helplessly pleading for her eyes to recognise him. He winced as he watched her crawl backwards in fear,

'Please mujhse door rahiye...' She begged as she looked around the room, tears streaming from her eyes as Asad looked on all torn. She didn't recognise him? He held his chest trying to calm himself down, 'Aap?' She stared at the old lady with wide eyes,

'Mein tumhare ilaaj kiya beta, tum bohot zakhmi huye the… yeh tumhari shauhar hain jinne tumhein yahan le aya… tum-' She paused as she watched Zoya's hand shoot up to her head before dropping back. Asad jumped forward and caught her placing her back on the bed. He stroked her hair back before looking up at the lady with teary eyes,

'Usse sir paar chot laagi hai, shayad isiliye…'

7 days ago

'Aapi, where are we?' She pressed Zeenat's hand on her shoulders as she looked at Asad who seemed lost before staring at the door in front of her.

'Your home' Zeenat whispered whilst the door flung open revealing a tear stricken Dilshad. Zoya felt taken aback seeing the woman cry in front of her, staring lovingly at her as she sighed a breath of relief, seeing her? Zoya creased her forehead as she felt a prick at her heart, why was she hurting seeing the condition of this woman?

'Mere ammi' Introduced Asad seeing her confused,

'Zoya, mere bacha' Cried Dilshad taking her in for hug and holding her tight, she caressed her back 'Kahan chale gaye thi tum? Kahan… mujhe kitna chinta ho rahe thi… mere bachha tum theek toh ho na' She pulled back from the hug and cupped Zoya's face shaking her head side to side, 'tum chinta maat karo, sab kuch teek ho jayega' She forced a smile looking at a broken Asad and then back at her, 'You'll be just fine…' She hugged her again. Zoya lifted her hand and hugged her back; the motherly touch seemed so familiar.

'Zoya' Shrieked Najma as she came running towards them. Zoya stared at Zeenat who gave her a reassuring nod pressing her eyes at her. 'Tum teek ho na?' Najma cried embracing her. She sobbed loudly on Zoya's shoulder; Zoya's hands remained on her side not knowing what she should do. Zoya faced Asad,

'Tamater, Zoya should rest for now' He said pulling Najma to his side. Najma side hugged her brother whilst Dilshad joined them. They watched Zeenat take Zoya into her room.

'Everything will be fine… Our Zoya is back' Assured Dilshad stroking Asad's back. 'We'll make her remember, how she brightened up our lives. Jahan bhi usski nazrein jayegi, uski parchayen nazar ayegi… kyunki iss ghar ki haar corne pe usski kushboo hai, uske diya hua kushi mehak raha hai humare yeh ghar pe…'

Present

He brushed his tears away before bringing her hand back to his cheek again.

'…Mere vajah se Zoya, wog log tumhein' He continued as he reminded her of another one of their memory. 'They buried you alive. If only I listened to you that day. If only… Mein uss din maar kar phir jag utti… the moment you started breathing was the moment I felt alive again. That moment I realised that I wouldn't be able to live without you. My heart only beats for you, tum mere dil ki dhadhkan ho… Tumhare bigaar yeh dil jee nahi payega. Yeh jaan tumhare saath jodhe huye hai. Haan, Yash told me it was love. But ego came in between. I went denial mode, I ignored you, rejected your existence but every time realising I couldn't breathe without you. I realised I cannot imagine a world without you. But I kept telling myself you weren't right for me because I wasn't right for anyone. I hurt you by ignoring you. Whenever I looked into your eyes, I lost myself… mujhe aapne aap ko khone ke daar mein tumhein mere zindagi ke liye ghalat bana diya. Lekin mujhe kya pathatha, tum hi ho, sirf tum hi ho, jiske liye yeh dil betaab tha khone ke liye kyunki tumhein mujhe doodhna tha…' Asad sighed; the mangalpur incident always brings tears to his eyes. The feeling of almost losing her kills a part of him inside.

'That was it for today Mrs Khan' He smiled, 'Kaal jo mein tumhein bataungi… usse sun kar shayad tum mujhe nafrat karogi… lekin woh bhi manzoor hain mujhe…' He got up. 'I know I still haven't confessed, lekin tum jaante ho… I love you Zoya, I always will… humesha, jab tak mein hoon, yeh pyaar humesha rahega… tumhare liye. I love you very much' He laughed, 'I love you very very very much. Tumhare yeh Akdu Ahmed Khan tumhe jee jaan se mohabbat karta hai… haan jaanti hoon, pehle khabie baatha nahi paya aur aaj kehte kehte nahi tak rahi hoon…' He bent forward and kissed her forehead. A tear fell from his eyes on her forehead; she twitched for a moment before turning to the other side.

'Aapke kamre mein aab mere raaj challenge Mr Khan!' Asad smiled remembering their post nikkah moments. How happy they both were, everything had finally fallen into place for them.
He closed the window before walking out of his, no their room, leaving an emotional Zoya fighting with herself whether to embrace him or not.

Dilshad watched from afar as Asad walked out of his room and into the guestroom, Zoya's old room. She silently prayed for her both children; one aching to remember her forgotten past and one impatiently trying to remind the other of their past. Both yearning for each other, being so close they were so far, 'Ya Allah... mere bachon ki imtehaan kab khatom hogi, unhe mila do' She closed her eyes holding both of her hands against her chest.

3 days later

'La la la…' Zoya hummed as she walked into her room with her Ipad. She twirled around before freezing with her arms halfway in the air. Her Ipad dropped out of her hand as they both shot up to her mouth. Her eyes widened as they trailed the side of his forehead as she followed the drops of water down his cheeks, she admired his jawline before moving her eyes to his well-built chest. She felt faint as she took in his toned six packs, his Adonis like body… Her hand moved up to her eyes as she spun around missing the smirk on Asad's face,

'Allah Miyaan, what's wrong with you? Aap mere room mein iss tarah… Mr Six p- I mean Mr Khan what are you doing here, with a just a towel on?' She whispered the last few words as she felt her throat go dry…

'I thought you weren't at h-'

'You thought what?' She asked,

'Sorry I'll go…' He replied,

'NOO! No…' She turned around 'Guests' She widened her eyes, her hands attacked her face again in an attempt to cover her eyes, 'Jaante… jaante hoon' She coughed stuttering her words, Asad grinned at her flustered state not missing the blush on her face, 'Jaante hoon aap dekhne layak cheez ho… doesn't mean you have to show everyon- I mean…' She whispered removing her hands looking straight into his eyes, 'I mean aap…'

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Sorry for boring you! Something I wanted to write up but just was not happening. Let me know what you think… Chappals, tomatoes etc are welcome!