Sun raha hai na tu... AsYa OS

-Bleeeh- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1
Hi everyone. 😊
My first OS on AsYa. Here it goes:


Hey Zoee,
Miss me, love? You have no clue how much I miss you. I miss your amazing smile. I miss your big cholcolaty eyes. I miss your lips. I miss your cheeks. I miss the way you held my hand in yours. I miss our cuddles. I miss our hugs. I miss our kisses. I miss sex. I miss the way you used to ruffle my hair. I miss the way... oh you get the drift, dont you? I miss you like hell.
I wish I could come and hug you right now and stay in your arms forever. But dont worry. One day that will happen. Life is always tough in the army. You know it. I dont want to stay away from you but the feeling you get after doing something for your country is pure bliss. I know you understand. And I love you for that. God gave me the best gift ever. You. I love you. Its been a long time since I heard your voice.

Oh and a forgot one thing. Not that imortant. But still. I am coming on 21st. Haha, dont get angry now. I know that should have been the most important thing. But you know me. I love irritating you baby. :*
And by the way, you look hot when you get angry. Love you always. :*

Yours and only yours,
Asad.

P.s.- Sorry for being sentimental up there. I just felt like telling you. See you soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thats Asad. Asad Ahmed Khan. A soldier , who would go to any extent to fight for his country. It had been only 10 days to his nikaah when he was called by the army. After cancelling his honeymoon, Asad made his way to the camp. But he knew that every newly married girl has some wishes. But his wife was the most understanding person he knew. He met her, for the first time at a party. A mutual friend introduced them to each other and they instantly hit it off. One thing led to another and they got married after 2 years of courtship.

Zoya Khan was the sweetest girl ever. She was so full of life. Yes, she was sad that her husband had to leave after 10 days of their marriage. but the duty to the nation came first. She accepted him the way he was. She experienced it earlier too. She was a proud wife of a soldier.
But that did not mean that she didnt miss him. She missed him alot. Every night, she would pray to Allah for his safety. Every night, she would rock herself to sleep in the empty room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A war had been declared by the neighbouring country. It had been a month since she heard his voice. It had been 4 months to their marriage and he could manage to call her only once. Their last call was a brief one in which he told her how difficult things were. Every night she would cry endlessly thinking about him and his safety..

By the time the letter reached her, it was already 21st morning.
After reading the letter, she couldnt control herself. She danced. She sang. Her wish came true. Ever since he went, she had imagined this day. The day he would come back.
She dressed herself in a red saree. His favourite. She put on the bangles and earrings which he gifted her on their first date. She decided to leave her hair open, just the way he liked it.
She went on to wear the ring which he gave her when he proposed her. Always made her feel that she belonged to him.

She could not control her excitement. Just as she put on her ring, the phone rang. She ran towards it and picked it up to hear the news which changed her life. Forever.

' Ma'am, I am sorry to inform you but in a recent unexpected bomb blast in the army camp by the neighbouring county, your husband lost his life. '

That was it. She wasnt listening to the person anymore. The phone fell off from her hand. She fell down to the ground. She couldnt believe her ears. She sat on the floor, completely numb. She couldnt believe that he was dead. He was her life. He could not leave her and go. She was in shock. She could not believe that She lost him.. Forever.


The end.

I know it was a sad ending. Sorry :(
I recently danced on 'Sun raha hai na tu' depicting the plight of the wives of soldiers. So got the inspiration from there.
Since its my first attempt, do let me know where it went wrong.
Please do give me a feedback :D

Edited by -ARLover- - 12 years ago

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Ceon thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
it ws nyc... Bt u did a mistak. In Islam deir z no ritual of wearing sindoor or mangalsutr. Its strongly recomended in Hindu... Bt yeah Zoya will look graceful if she wear Sindoor nd Mangalsutr
-Bleeeh- thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: AsyaManic

it ws nyc... Bt u did a mistak. In Islam deir z no ritual of wearing sindoor or mangalsutr. Its strongly recomended in Hindu... Bt yeah Zoya will look graceful if she wear Sindoor nd Mangalsutr



Oops. I am sorry.
Actually my aunty is a Muslim. She does wear it. But not because of any ritual but just because she likes it. So I thought it wasnt really a problem.
Ceon thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: -ARLover-



Oops. I am sorry.
Actually my aunty is a Muslim. She does wear it. But not because of any ritual but just because she likes it. So I thought it wasnt really a problem.


Ya its not a really one... But it may be hurt to some of here... So better if u edit it... But yeah a ton people here will lyk the idea of sindoor nd mangalsutr... A New change
-Bleeeh- thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: AsyaManic


Ya its not a really one... But it may be hurt to some of here... So better if u edit it... But yeah a ton people here will lyk the idea of sindoor nd mangalsutr... A New change


I changed it to a ring. Didnt want to offend people. Thanks a ton 🤗
-ElmoFuj- thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 12 years ago
#6
Oh wow this was really sad. But so so so good. I loved it! Brought me to tears. But amazing concept. Lovely! Poor Zoe! 😔
mochhug thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 12 years ago
#7
SO sweet, yet so sad. Beautifully written :)
-Bleeeh- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: -ElmoFuj-

Oh wow this was really sad. But so so so good. I loved it! Brought me to tears. But amazing concept. Lovely! Poor Zoe! 😔


Thank you so much. It means alot. Especially since it came from an amazing writer like you. 😃
-Bleeeh- thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: mochhug

SO sweet, yet so sad. Beautifully written :)


Thank you so much! 😃
Untitled001 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#10
I got your PM and came to read.

1) I was happy that your grammatical sense is good. 😃 I hate poor grammar in stories.

2) Why didn't you write a little more? This was an OS... Yes, but you should've gone more into it. You were doing so GOOD.

3) The ending. I knew that would happen! It's always that way! 😕

4) It was a good storyline, but as I mentioned before you should've written more.

All in all, it was good. You're gonna be really good in no time.

Sand.

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