TS - Was there ever love? (Last Part Page 8) - Page 2

" I don't know Ammi" said Asad softly. Zoya froze at that point. After seeing the photograph, she rushed to his room to show him once again that she was innocent, show him that she wasn't careless, that everything is not a joke to her and most of all that relationships were not a joke to her. Zoya froze at his room door when he heard phupi ask him what he felt about her, did he love her. Zoya wanted to hear the answer so badly. "Asad, do you want to marry Zoya? I have asked you this question before and I as far as I know, I know your answer as well but still I want to hear it from your mouth" asked Dilshaad. Zoya froze. Zoya stood at the door clutching her iPad. "Do you like Zoya? Asked Dilshaad. Zoya then heard Tanveer say "Yes Jammy, answer honestly, don't hesitate. It's important for us all to know the truth". Zoya felt her heart beats increase. "What is in your heart, you like Zoya don't you" asked Dilshaad almost pleading. Zoya felt her world come to a stand still when she heard Asad's voice "Ammi, the truth is that me and Miss Farooqi, our worlds are very different be it food, they way we live, clothes everything. I don't think our views or ideals or opinions will ever meet. Whenever I think I got to know Miss Farooqi alittle and whatever I think about her is wrong, she always ends up doing something that changes my opinion". Zoya could feel her hearts peices stabbing her chest. It hurt too much. How much more she asked silently. Zoya had had enough, no she is not a bechari. "I don't know ammi" Asad said softly. "But I know" said Zoya loudly and everyone turned in her direction.

Dilshaad looked at Zoya's face and she knew Zoya heard everything. Dilshaad could see Zoya's red eyes from crying. Dilshaad also noticed Zoya's determined to be strong face and admired her for it. Zoya stood in front of Asad, who looked he was ready to shout at her again. Zoya ignored him and continued " I told you Mr Khan, that I did not do anything wrong with the blood samples. You never did believe anything I say, you always think the worse of me. But thats okay, I have come to expect nothing less from you" said Zoya. Those words hurt Asad. Asad just continued to look at Zoya. "This time I have proof" announced Zoya. "Have a look at this photograh" Zoya handed Asad her iPad. Asad looked shocked. He looked at Tanveer. Dilshaad and Najma came in closer to look at the picture. The person in the picture was not clear but the chicken was very clear. Zoya and Asad were in the picture, Zoya was right there next to Asad so she couldn't have done what he had accused her. Once again he accused her and hurt her. Asad handed Zoya back her iPad not before looking at her wall paper. It was a picture of his ammi, Najma, him and her smiling into the camera. Zoya took her iPad still handing his gaze. Before he could say anything, she looked at Asad with tears in her eyes. Zoya didn't want her tears to spill over. No not anymore, she will not break down or shed any more tears for him. Zoya turned and walked away. Asad stared at her walking away. Why did he feel this time like part of him was walking away? That look in her eyes, It made him afraid. He really hurt her now. Her eyes were empty. There was no light in it, no spark. What had he done?

Zoya walked to her room quickly, it was a race with her tears to see which would come first. She quickly shut the door and slid to the floor holding her mouth and tears free flowing down her cheeks, her iPad clutched tightly to her chest. She didn't know how but the music started coming out of iPad. Zoya quickly tried to switch the song off, which was playing of Youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSpRsrEV0mU) . The tears blurring her sight all she could she was pictures of her and Asad. Pictures of him smiling, pictures of him looking into her eyes. Pictures of them actually happy. She wiped her tears and continued flipping through the pictures and this song played. New tears made their way down her cheeks as her cried for what could have been.

Teri khataa hai mere jiyaa
Un pe bharosa kyuun tune kiya

It's your mistake my heart,
Why did you believe him..

Sab jhoothe jhoothe vaade the unke
Chal peechhe peechhe aayaa tu jin ke
Wo piyaa aaye naa
Piyaa aaye na wo piyaa aaye naa

All his promises were false..
That beloved didn't come..
Oh that beloved didn't come..

Ab sab hi un khwaabon ki tu dagar chhod de
Ab sab hi un khwaabon ko tu khud hi tod de
Woh piya aaye na

Now you leave the path of all those dreams,
Now break all those dreams yourself..
That beloved didn't come..

Teri khataa hai mere jiyaa..

Har khataa kee hotee hai koi na koi sazaa
Gham likhe hon kismat mein to ban hee jaatee wajah
Ab sabhi gham ashqon mein simat se gaye
Ab sabhi aansoo palkon se lipat se gaye
Woh piya aaye na..

For every mistake there is a punishment..
If there are sorrows written in fate,it becomes reason's for your life..
Now all the sorrows are wound up in tears,
Now all the tears have clung to the eyelids..
That beloved didn't come..

Sach lagaa thaa jo be-vajah hum ko
wo bharam ho gaya hai
Mod aane the jis fasaane mein
Wo khatam ho gayaa
Bhoole hum bhoole wo
Kaise sab se kahein baat ye..

The truth I thought is for no reason,
that has become an illusion..
The story in which there were twists yet to come,
it has ended abruptly..
I forgot, he forgot..
How do I tell everyone..

Ab chalo hum dheere dheere bihal se gaye
Ab chalo hum jaise bhi ho sambhal se gaye
Woh piya aaye na.. wo o.. piya aaye naa..

Now slowly I have become hopeless,
Now howsoever, I have become a bit stable..
That beloved didn't come..

Teri khata hai mere jiya
Un pe bharosaa kyun tune kiyaa

Was there ever love? She asked herself. Zoya was so fooled by all those intense looks and all the times he came to her rescue. Her heart had fooled her "meri dil main ek bharosa rehte hain, ke Mr Khan hai". Zoya's heart ached. Yes, she loved him with everything that she is. She is willing to do everything for his happiness. Zoya herself was not sure about this nikkah, but everytime she had a doubt she looked into his eyes and saw something that she hoped would eventually turn into love. She always put others first and every time she saw the happiness in phupi and Najma's face ' she pushed away all her doubts and actually allowed herself to believe. But how much more. How much more should she tolerate. She is a woman of the 21^st century yet she took his words and actions silently. The old Zoya would have castrated a man for raising his hand to a woman, yet here she forgave him believing in his reasons. What has she become? Zoya caressed Asad's face gently in the picture. She wished so much, she hoped so much for a life with him. To feel his love some day. She even continued with this nakli nikkah in hope that some day this will happen. But no more. Zoya caressed the picture once more and new tears made her way down her face. She stared at her reflection in the iPad screen. What had she become? That face staring back at her was not the same Zoya that ran away from her nikkah. That the Zoya that beat up boys for teasing girls. That Zoya was lost. She became a bechari, Asad's deewani, Zoya giggled at that thought. Who would have thought his wish came true. Zoya feel in love with a strict, traditional man, that taught her the importance for tehzeeb and the meaning of tameez, to an extent he even clipped her wings. She changed for him. Why? Why? Her love was never reciprocated. It was all one-sided. To change for the one you love is okay, but to lose yourself in the process is not right. Zoya stared at him on her iPad. "I will always be a mis-fit to you Mr Khan". No matter what I do. Zoya wiped her tears. Like fate had given her an answer his picture faded away ' her iPad battery died. Enough was enough. Zoya wiped her tears. "Allah Miya, I don't know what you have planned for me. But I will go on with this charade cos it makes phupi happy. I cannot stand to see her hurt. I will do whatever I am told. But Allah Miya, let me not love him anymore. I can't take any more of his harsh words. I will do whatever is required of me cos I trust in you. But Allah Miya, give me the strength to be strong and let my feeling come in the way. Help me remain the Zoya that left the US. Help me please. Cos Allah Miya, there was never love".

And with that Zoya wiped her tears resolved to stay just the way she was...a free spirited bird.