FOUR STAGES OF LOVE: ASYA
Hi everyone,
Here is my weekend post for QH/ASYA lovers.
The past week has been a roller coaster ride for AsYa lovers. From the much anticipated hug, the roadside comedy, the rain dance, the fight, to Zoya's accident and then her heartbreak. Wow, a lot happened in one week. If one looks back over the past four months, AsYa's relationship has gone through a myriad of emotions.
Like any love story, their story will go through a lot of phases. If you read psychology textbooks, you will find various versions on 'stages of love.' Some talk about five stages of love, others about seven.
AsYa's love story, in my opinion has four stages.
Here is my interpretation on the stages of love as it pertains to AsYa. I will try to add examples from the various episodes to corroborate my theory. Some of these stages are a bit fluid and at times can even overlap with each other.
STAGE 1: ATTRACTION
For any love story, the first stage has to be a mutual attraction. A spark, that connects two people. Reasons, why two people start noticing one another. In some stories this happens simultaneously but in others like AsYa's love story, it's happened at different times.
ASAD: There is no doubt in my mind that Asad was the first one to feel the attraction. The famous Dargah scene doesn't need any more explanation. He was smitten from his first glance at Zoya. Because this happened in a sacred place of worship, is proof that it was meant to happen and even if he resists it, it is Allah's desire.
ZOYA: I think Zoya's attraction for Asad came a bit later. Perhaps, his display of power whenever he saved her from various precarious situations, his 'James Bond' image and then her sudden exposure to his bare body in the bathroom sparked her attention towards him as a desirable man. Since then, we have seen her comment on his 'six packs' and physique at various times. Although, she makes her comments sound frivolous, there is an underlying attraction towards him as a desirable man. She even admired him in his black shirt although she was under the effect of a drug.
ASAD & ZOYA: 1. All their mitwa moments are a result of their growing attraction towards each other. Their intensity has increased as time has gone by. Earlier, they looked confused in each other's arms but lately, we have seen some heavy breathing and heaving (esp Zoya) and a more piercing look from Asad.
2. The 'lag jaa gale' song sequence in Mangalpur brought their mutual attraction to the fore in full glory. Whether it was the circumstances (handcuffed and alone), the moonlit night, or the romantic moments between the PV couple, there was a definite spark between the two that night.
3. Even though this sounds contorted, all those moments when Asad has pinned her down or 'manhandled' her or placed his hand on her mouth have an undercurrent of physical attraction- more from his side than hers.
STAGE 2: CONFLICT
This has been the longest phase in their relationship so far. The conflict within and the conflict with each other has been a constant theme in their love story so far.
We have witnessed numerous arguments and confrontations between the two. It almost seems that they try to instigate each other and get into an argument just so they can be with each other. Zoya barges into his room at one pretext or another. They argue, they bicker and they scream at each other but somewhere deep down, they seem to want it. Zoya seeks more attention from him than he does. She wants his approval but at the same time she criticizes him about his values, his judgmental nature and chauvinism. If she really detested those attributes in him, she would have just ignored him. Her desire to debate with him is a result of that internal conflict. She wants him but doesn't want to acknowledge it.
Similarly, we have seen Asad's mood swings around her. His comments like 'she means nothing to me' are a reflection of his internal conflict. He goes crazy when she is missing or out of sight or in danger but reprimands her, speaks rudely to her and undermines her when they are together. He doesn't mind calling her 'bewakoof or stupid' although in reality he probably wants to call her 'beautiful and desirable.'
Mangalpur was a perfect example of this conflict. They fought hard throughout but we all remember Asad's 'junoon' when he though he had lost her forever. Their journey back was heartwarming and we saw a very sensitive side of Asad but the moment they were back, he went back into his shell, spewing venomous words and appearing aloof. He couldn't get her Mangalpur images out of his mind, but snapped at her whenever she tried to talk about Mangalpur.
The slap incident and the aftermath are perfect examples of this conflict.
He walked away as she narrated her past to him- also perfect example of his internal conflict. He wanted to console her, hold and comfort her but instead, he walked away, fearful of his own emotions. Next day, in remorse, he tried to help her find clues to her Abbu's house.
Although, his conflicting messages exasperate Zoya, she herself has been fighting these conflicting emotions. Even though she expresses her emotions well, she keeps her deepest secrets hidden from him. She doesn't want to appear vulnerable to him. The one time, she did narrate her story, she was incensed by his 'insensitive' behavior although we know, Asad was just trying to protect himself from showing his emotions.
Based on their portrayal, we have witnessed and analyzed these conflicts over the past four months but this past week, we finally got an insider's view into their hearts thanks to the bhaang effect. For the first time, Asad and Zoya exposed their innermost feelings to all of us. Every emotion and conflict was laid out on the table. They called each other names, criticized each other's quirks but also admitted that they liked each other, Asad admitted that he was attracted to her (kashish).
His 'misfit' comment was also a result of his internal conflict. Something that had nagged him for a while but he was finally brave enough to say it under the bhaang effect. This was a perfect example of how out of sync his mind and heart have been since he has met Zoya.
The rain dance was a culmination of their attraction and conflict. Even the way the dance was portrayed, they started with their backs to each other but ended facing with each other, hands intertwined and eyes locked in a passionate dance of love. It was like the intermission before the beginning of their next phase of love.
The dance was infact, a glimpse into their various stages of love.
STAGE 3: REALIZATION
This is the third stage of their love story. It's just begun. It stared with their heart-to-heart bhaang-laden chit-chat on the sofa. They may or may not remember the details from that night, but now that they are awake and conscious, they are going to realize what they have been fighting for so long. This is going to be a painful but sweet journey for both of them.
The realization has just started, so no need to get disheartened. Zoya's stunned and hurt expression on seeing Asad embrace another woman is just the beginning. She has become listless and lifeless since Tanveer's entry into the picture. Imagine what will happen if there is any talk about a possible marital alliance between the two.
If Ayaan gets into the picture with Zoya, Asad would be on the receiving end. Ayaan and Tanveer are the perfect catalysts to this brewing chemical reaction that's been simmering for ages but needs completion and realization.
STAGE 4: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE
This is the stage where Rashid and Dilshaad's love story is at the present moment.
'Wo saath nahin hain, lekin judaa bhi tho nahin hain' That remark by Ayaan says it all.
Rashid and Dilshaad have accepted their fate but haven't forgotten or stopped loving each other. Despite betraying her trust years ago, Dilshaad still loves him unconditionally. She hasn't gotten into another relationship; she has forgiven Rashid and is now ready to fight with the world to prove his innocence. This is the ultimate stage of love, almost spiritual akin to love for the almighty. There is no expectation; just pure unconditional love for your soul mate.
As a viewer, this is going to be the most painful stage for all of us. Asad and Zoya would have accepted that they love each other immensely but because of various circumstances (only known to the creatives), they will have to stay apart. This is the stage where they might even say 'qubool hai' to their respective fates, but never stop loving each other. They will pray for each other's happiness, protect each other whenever possible, defend each other and crave for each other. They might not be together physically but would be inseparable at a spiritual level.
This doesn't mean that their love story will remain incomplete. I am sure they will finally unite but only after having gone through this final stage of unconditional acceptance.
So, let's enjoy this journey with Asad and Zoya. Theirs is an epic love story in the making. We have rooted for them from day one, have laughed and cried with them but now we have to give them our unconditional support because no matter what, they are soul mates and are meant for each other.
Enjoy their dance, because even if their steps take them away momentarily, they will eventually waltz together for us.
Please feel free to add your own examples and comments.
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