Chapter 5
Asad woke up to the fragrance of lilacs, something fruity and another scent he could only describe as Zoya... the scent of 'his' woman. She looked so child-like in her sleep. He smiled as he admired the lush lashes framing her closed eyes, and those luscious, swollen lips that bore the marks of last night's passion.
He reached for her... and traced languorous patterns on her naked back, moving his fingers down to cup her derriere. She nuzzled against him instinctively, and his body responded instantly. He kissed the nook of her shoulder and trailed down to lick the valley between her breasts and she arched towards him, clutching the back of his head.
"Hmm..." she moaned and her legs entwined his. He moved his thumb over her core, teasing it slightly, then increasing the pressure as her felt her wetness on his fingers.
A riot of senses invaded Zoya's dream-like state... Asad's hands were on her, his mouth savouring every inch of her body... she groaned... it was more than a year, but the dreams continued to haunt her sleep. But the warmth of his chiselled body and the feel of his tongue were all too real, as was the slick play of his fingers between her legs.
She gasped when she realized Asad... ASAD was in bed! She jerked and looked around â she was in her room. And Asad's body was holding hers down. His attention on her neck was diverted as she moved. He looked up and their gazes locked.
Then the memories of the previous night came back. She blushed and realized she'd wanted this as much as he did. He smiled and said, "Morning, sweetheart" and kissed her before she could reply.
Zoya matched his intensity and let him turn her around so she was sitting atop him. She smiled as she anticipated his next move. Resting her weight on her knees, she rose and hovered near his arousal. He grinned and tightened his hold on her hips. And as she closed in on him Zayd wailed.
"Damn!" the word left their mouths at the same time, before they'd had a chance to think. They struggled out of bed. Zoya pulled on Asad's shirt to save time, while he pulled on his boxers as they rushed to Zayd.
Their angel was up... Zayd looked at his parents and paused. He grinned briefly, and stretched his arms towards his mother. Zoya lifted him out of the crib, patting his back gently as she soothed him in her husky voice. Asad stood back watching the two most precious things to him... his son and Zoya.
He felt a rush of love surging through his heart. He knew then, it was time to make it right. He wanted them in his life forever, never wanted to let them ago. They'd be his family, something he'd yearned for all his growing years.
As Zoya prepared Zayd's feed, he asked her, "May I hold him?" Zayd went willingly to his dad.
Asad waited for Zoya to finish feeding their son, and helped her settle him in. They looked at each other from across the crib and smiled content in their little cocoon. But Zoya could sense a certain restlessness in Asad.
When they stepped outside the nursery, Asad took Zoya's hands in his. "Zoe... I... I love you. I'm sorry about all that happened, but it's in the past." He paused and tightened his grip on her arms, searching her face for a reaction. "Every moment I spend with Zayd and you... makes me realize how good this is for him, for us... I don't know how you feel... we've never talked about it. But I want you to know. I love you. And I want us to be together, to make this official. Will you marry me?"
Zoya was speechless. She wasn't prepared for his declaration of love, and was even less prepared for his proposal! She just focused on his eyes, her breathing, searching for the right words. She liked him, yes... she loved him? He'd been wonderful in the recent months, he was a perfect father... a great friend, and last night... an amazing lover.
Asad mistook her silence for hesitation and hurt clouded the hope in his eyes. As he turned away and loosened his hold on Zoya, she said "Asad, wait..." and held on to him.
"I... honestly, I... You're in my world... my 4 AM friend, the father of my child, the one I'd run to, to share every moment â happy or sad. I... I don't know what love is. I thought I've been in love but I have made so many mistakes, I don't trust myself... and... I... I don't know if I'm ready to commit," her voice, filled with raw emotion, trailed off.
He hugged her then. "It's ok, Zoee... I don't mean to rush you. Take your time." Knowing her trust issues, he should have expected it.
As she headed to the bathroom to freshen up, he pulled on his trousers and went to check his mail. His cell phone had died out on him. Realizing he'd left his laptop at work, he called out, "Zoee... could I borrow your laptop? Just wanted to check mail."
"Yeah, go ahead. Zay*far12 is the password," she replied.
As he logged on, he noticed a file on her desktop Crysal-BigCat-leo-v1.docx. Amused by the filename, he opened to find the Crysal-BigCat agreement. He knew it wasn't right but it didn't matter now. The deal was done. It seemed like an earlier version, but what struck him were the highlights and comments inline â Zoya's recommendations some of which were not in BigCat's favour, and worse, her clinical assessment of his character traits.
His heartbeat raced as he realized what this was. She'd tried to betray him. All this in the recent past was just a charade?! This couldn't be happening!
***
Zoya found Asad hunched over her desk and sneaked up from behind to plant a kiss on his shoulder. His frame was rigid, tensed. Her eyes flew to the screen and she jerked back, as if scalded by hot water. Asad turned and found Zoya in shock, shivering as she looked at him guiltily.
"Didn't realize you thought so highly of me Zo," Asad spoke after ages. His voice was filed with pain, and resentment.
"Asad... please... I wrote this in the initial days, before we reconnected. Just after we'd moved apart... I..." Zoya knew nothing she said could make him feel better. His expression said it all.
"Hmm... I'd like some time alone. Now, if I could have my shirt back please?" He couldn't bear to look at her anymore. He gathered the rest of his belongings scattered around her room.
Zoya's sobs filled the silence in the air. But he didn't look â he couldn't because he knew he'd weaken. Right now, he needed to get out of here... before he said something that would make things worse.
Zoya slipped out of his shirt and pulled her slip over her head.
She was still crying silently, cursing herself for having written those things, having shared them with the team at Crysal. She wished she could take it all back! Even if she'd just deleted the file and been honest with him in the recent times, about her animosity and near-hatred for him in the early days, they wouldn't be in this situation!
Asad buttoned up his shirt, his back to Zoya. He cast a sideways glance at the woman he still loved, the woman who had betrayed him, and walked out of the room.
Zoya held on the chair's backrest of support. God knew she needed it! She didn't know what to make of his sudden emotional withdrawal. Was it over? Did he need space? He hadn't said anything. Should she go after him? Or let him be? She let the tears flow and moved to the bed, to curl up in the warmth of the quilt and the scent of their lovemaking.
Just like that, another wonderful night with Asad had ended, again in disaster.
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