THE SLAP: A nonvolatile discussion - Page 2

Originally posted by: princessjojo

The forum is super hot today. I'm holding my judgment on Asad for now. The slapping scene shocked me (but not in an out-of-my-mind way because threads on SBS prepared me for it). I understand Asad's position-I'm not able to paint him black even after being shocked. On the other hand, were I Zoya, I could never even dream of a relationship with Asad because of a bruised ego and fear of future violence. There just wouldn't be any scope. So, as you can see, I'm on the fence. And instead of making absolute comments, I'd rather mull over things for a bit.

I am so baffled and bewildered how they are going to make this happen but as you wrote elsewhere, it will probably one of those over-the-top dramatic scenes where he tries to hurt his hand she makes a paste for him to heal it. Seriously, I have so lost faith in the program - such a major let down. That's about as creative these writers are going to go? Seriously disappointing.

So I asked myself...why am I shocked? Slaps are not new on TV.

I've seen Purvi slap Arjun. I've seen MIL Sulochana slap Manav. I've seen Mom Archana slap the hell out of Purvi. I've seen future FIL Manav slap Arjun. I've seen Kusum slap Abhay (I think, it's been a long time). I've seen small-sized Ovi slap medium-sized Purvi. But we don't see such an immense response. In summary, we've seen plenty of male-male, female-female, elderly-youngster slaps.

Frankly speaking slapping is a sign you have lazy writers. That's it. Rage and dialogue can say a lot but writers on desi dramas love to resport to slapping. It's over done and has no affect.

And this is a guy slapping a woman whom he is supposed to romance in the future...how do you seriously find yourself attracted to a guy who slapped you? I couldn't.

I have questions for you guys:

1) Were your sentiments offended? Why did it hurt our collective sentiments so much when we saw the hero slap the heroine today?

2) What if, instead of Zoya, Asad's imaginary 20 year old idealistic brother had played a role in the Maryam fiasco and kept her at home despite Asad's refusal and Dilshaad was shot.
2 A) Do you see Asad slapping him?
2 B) Would your sentiments be the same as they are in regards to today's episode.

Slapping a sibling is not OK either.

No condescending remarks on fellow members are allowed. (Not that I can enforce this 😆 but for God's sake, I want some civil discussion. Leave the taane-baazi and the my POV-is-superior to-your-inferior-one attitude out folks). Yup, I don't see this thread running for long. 😆

Originally posted by: princessjojo

Yeah a husband-wife, man-woman relationship has a lot more ego and fragility involved. And there is also the truth that blood is thicker than water. So we forgive a lot more when it comes to our siblings and parents and aunts and uncles.

I basically cannot get my self to use (for the lack of a better word) the "male cannot slap female under any circumstances" notion/statement. Why? Not I support any form of such abuse but because such statements, intentionally or unintentionally, downplay the unacceptability of the reverse: females slapping/hitting males.

Originally posted by: Laila2009

PrincessJojo, it is important to realize the following. When a woman slaps a male, her size and physical strength can never do the same damage as when it comes to a male. I don't OK slapping but if Zoya had slapped Asad for something horrible and cruel to her, I would not put it in the same as this - this is not about gender biased, it is one of the issues that makes people not understand domestic violence issues. Most people who do not condone abuse to women, tend to say O, if a woman slaps a man then blah blah blah...this is the FIRST line of defense they make to actually condone the action. I have seen this in many situations and even in relationships where the man was physically abusive and he would say, but my wife hit me first...Yes, she would hit him because he was an asshole and as soon she gave him a slap he would bit her to the point she would end up in hospital.

It is about physical health. My sister used to teach and a kid tried to hit her, did she hit the kid back. NO, it is against the law in the schools for teachers to hit kids...what happened, she spent time educating the child only to find out that the child was a victim of abuse.

The point is that on this forum, to speak out against this matter is not acceptable and that you will find yourself in the minority here.

Originally posted by: Laila2009

Originally posted by: notagain

Why the comparison with Ayan and not Najma? Would he have done the same with her?

Originally posted by: princessjojo

A follow-up question.

Remember that reality show in which the female host slaps the male contestant and he slaps her right back...(and then we have the male host who comes in like a knight and beats up the male contestant..but that's beside the point).

Was the action and reaction acceptable or unacceptable? To the same degree? Why?

Originally posted by: princessjojo

What I'm trying to say is, we can vouch for female equality, female respect, we can fight for and support female liberation without sacrificing male respect either actively OR passively.
And when we use statements like 'males cannot slap females under any circumstances' we are passively condoning the reverse, intentionally or unintentionally.

There are two routes to equality- push yourself up or pull the other person down.