Behene De
There was no one in the house except for Mr. Khan and herself. Damnit!
Alright well if he's her only option.
She tiptoed into the room until she realized she wasn't sneaking in, she actually had to talk to him this time.
"Mr. Khan," she diverted his attention from the book he was quietly reading to her.
"What?" He asked annoyed.
"Actually I... uh... Actually who kya hai na, it's actually a funny story, actually..."
"Actually I have better things to do so if you're not going to tell me in the next 5 seconds I'm going to go back to my book."
Wait what? NO! Alright she had to do this. She closed her eyes and spat the mouthful out all at once,"
"MR. KHAN I NEED PADS!"
*Silence*
"Chirp. Chirp. Chirp."
"What the hell are you doing?" Asad asked.
"Well you know when there's an awkward silence, usually you hear crickets chirping in the background..."
"Shut up!"
"EY MR. KHAN! DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP AND GO GET ME MY GODAMN PADS RIGHT NOW!" She screamed.
A girl on her period is a girl with moodswings. She do things she wouldn't normally do, like hurt me and possibly kill him for real. Not the Zoya he wanted to mess with he decided as he ran out of the house as quickly as possible.
"What happened to him?" She wondered confused with the scared face he ran out with.
***
He came back with her pads and tiptoed into the living room.
For some reason it was dark. The whole house.
It was suspiciously quiet. Too quiet.
Cautiously walking over to the lights he turned them on and felt someone's hand on his shoulder as soon as he flicked the light.
"Aa gaye aap?" He heard a seductive voice from behind.
Shutting his eyes tightly he turned around praying to Allah that that wasn't...
"I missed you sooo much," he felt her finger run down his face. Opening his eyes he saw that the owner of the finger was indeed Ms. Zoya Farooqi who was wearing a black lacy nightie that barely covered her upto her thighs.
"Ya Allah! What are you wearing!" He dare questioned her while covering her with his jacket.
"You... you don't like it! YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!!!" She broke down in front of him crying. "YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!! I'M UGLY!!!! THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LIKE ANYTHING ON ME!!!"
Allah Miyan! What was wrong with her? Ek pal main Mallika Sherawat toh dusre pal main Nirupama Roy in nightie?
Ah yes... the mood swings he reminded himself.
"Zo- Zoya..." he awkwardly patted her head, "Dekho... I think you look..."
"You think I look?" She lunged for him pinning him down to the floor.
"...very..."
"Very," She repeated beginning to close the distance between their lips.
"...uh..."
"Uh..." She repeated giving him those wild thoughts he had about her again. Kitni mushkil se unhe bhagaya tha!
"...nice?" He repeated as he ran for his life to his room.
"NICE? BAS! HOW DARE YOU MR. KHAN? I SPENT ALL MY TIME DRESSING UP FOR YOU AND YOU SAY I LOOK NICE?" She ran after him throwing whatever she could lay hands on at him.
Be it a pillow.
A sandal.
And even vase.
She made it just in time and was able to make in the room just as he closed it.
"Ab mujhse bachke kahan jaoge jaaneman," She pulled his tie which compelled him to follow her to the bed.
Climbing on top of him Asad knew he had to do something, "Zoya, as much as the inner me is enjoying this even though it's freaking me out a tad bit, we aren't supposed to confess and act our attraction and love for each other for another 300 episodes. And we sure as hell aren't supposed to do 'this' with each other for another year or two."
"BHAD MAIN GAYI SCRIPT!" She walked over and burned the script.
Now, not bound from the script Asad, in full form jumped off of the bed and pulled Zoya back, "Toh kahan the hum?"
"Oh right!" she pushed him back down and climbed on top of him with a few winks here and there.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes I'm ready," squealed an eager Asad.
"Close your eyes," she whispered inches above his face.
"SURPRISE!" She screamed into his ear.
"What the hell?" He asked in annoyance when he saw the makeup kit in her hands.
"I found my old makeup kit! We can do each others makeup now!" She sat down next to him with excitement like that of a 5 year old.
"But I thought we were going to..."
"Bhool gaye? I have my period Ashu baby, now tell me do you want light blue eyeshadow or black eyeshadow?"
Oh yeah... Mother Nature is such a bitch sometimes. And ASHU BABY? W*F?
He was about to say "HELL TO THE NO!" until he reminisced the events of the living room. He did not want to have to explain to the doctor how he ended up with a concussion just because he refused to play "makeup doll".
"Whichever color you want," he answered in a defeated manner.
He never got how girls found this fun to begin with.
His state represented that of a hopeless puppy.
She was just about done applying the shocking red lipstick on him when, "OWWW!!!!" she hunched forward.
"KYA HUA! DID YOUR WATER BREAK? ARE YOU IN LABOR? SOMEONE CALL 911!"
"Alright first of all I can't be pregnant 'cause I'm on my effing period. Wow dude for all the shit I take from you I at least expected you to be educated!"
"Dekhiye, I am educated alright. Bas woh Biology main marks kum ate the,"
"Woh toh dikh hi raha hai,"
"WHAT?"
"Nothing, anyways second of all I'm just having one of those cramps so if you'll excuse me I'm going to go in the corner over there and cry about my life."
"Alright, would you like some musical accompaniment?"
"Yeah sure why not? What do you have?"
"I have 'Sau Darde Hai and 'Darde Disco'"
"Do you have anything a little less... painful?"
"No but I also have 'Behene De',"
"Ya Allah! Forget I even asked!" she screamed leaving a confused Asad thinking.
What the hell was wrong with Behene De?
She continued whining about her life and pain until finally, "Allah Miyan!!!! That's it! I don't care if I can't have kids! I want this monster of a uterus out out OUT!!!" She screamed in frustration.
"Shut up! We are having kids alright!"
"IDHAR MAIN MAR RAHI HOON AUR TUMHE NONEXISTANT BACHO KI PADI HAI!" She grabbed his collar.
She stared him down scaring the shit out of him. What was the right answer? What was the right answer?
"Um... Blue?"
"THAT'S IT!!!! IM GOING TO THE GYNECOLLOGIST!!!" She walked out of the door hunched a bit forward due to the cramps.
"Oh no you're not!" He ran after and picked her up bringing her back into the room dodging her feet that she began kicking in the air.
"LEAVE ME AT ONCE!!!!"
"Iss baar sehlo, I promise you won't have to go through this next month Zoya."
"How? Are you're gonna make me get the Depo shot? Please I don't want to I heard it has too many side effects!" She begged.
"No!"
"Then how?"
Furiously blushing, Asad took a piece of paper and handed it to Zoya after scribbling something on it.
It read:
"Asad Jr."
October 2013
In a Zoya Near You
__________________________________
Ok I just reread this and
yeah it is pretty shitty
but cut me some slack my "Aunt Flow" came to visit me too.
This was more me venting out my frustration and
making Asad suffer rather than an actual OS.
I hope it made you laugh sometimes at least lol,
My concluding message:
-Shweta
Edited by -ForeverYours- - 12 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
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