He sat there on the chair in the hospital corridor, locking and unlocking his fingers in desperation, anticipation and most importantly fear. Fear of what if she wasn't fine, fear of the fact that will she be ok or was she ok now.
He couldn't help but think back of how he had found her. She was buried alive. Alive.
That thought itself made a lump rise in his throat.
He still remembered how he dug her out from the grave. He could still feel his voice resonate in his ears.
*****
"Zoya!!..Zoya.!" he called out to her. He pulled her closer to himself while he took her hand in his and began to rub it. He looked at her again, her face was blank. He felt tears form in his eyes, as his grip loosened for a second on her hands it fell from his grip. Guilt and fear took over him. Guilt for the fact that it was somewhere because of him that she was in this state and fear that what if she was..
"No!"
"Zoya..Zo..ya" he held her face in his hands
"lo..look at me" he plead.
"Open your eyes, just look at me"
"Say something, just sa..y" panic took over him.
He shook her hard as though she were a doll. "Zoya just open your eyes, just look at me. Just say something dammit!" he could feel his worst fear taking over. She wasn't responding. he could feel his eyes spilling those tears that were already there in his eyes. She wasn't breathing. He pulled her body closer to him. Her cold body closer to his warm one. He pulled her closer as tears rolled down his cheeks, he hugged her cold lifeless body bringing her closer to him, if that was even possible. He felt more tears roll down at the mere thought that he had lost her, she was no more because of him. He hated himself more than anyone of not being able to save her, when he could have. He could have.
He didn't know for how long he sat there with her in his arm. His eyes closed. He didn't want to open them, he didn't want to face reality where she wouldn't be there. Her sunshine smile, her laughter and most importantly she herself.
"Zoya" her name escaped his quivering lips.
"hmm.."
His eyes flew open. Did she just respond? Did..sh..e? He slowly distanced himself from her, while he looked down at her. He did hear her respond to his call, dint he? Or was he hallucinating. He placed his hand on her cheek, she felt warm maybe warmer than before.
What if she dint respond? his mind said, but deep down his heart told him otherwise.
"Zoya" he called out again, this time his call was firm.
He held her face in his hand looking for some sign, a sign that she was still alive she was still breathing. He waited for her to respond, but she dint. He was probably hallucinating. His face fell, his heart tugged. He pulled her closer to him again. He could feel those tears coming back into his eyes. He shut his eyes tight to stop those tears from rolling down.
"Asad"
He dint open his eyes. He thought his ears were still playing with his mind.
"hu.hh..Asad"
He heard her voice again and this time when he opened his eyes he saw her beautiful brown ones. He saw them. She..sh..e was alive. She was there. She was. He felt light seeing her looking back at him as though he was free from the burden of guilt. He held her face in his hands, while she struggled to keep her eyes open.
"Tum theek ho?" he voiced in a concerned tone.
She lifted her hand and placed it on his cheek. He held her hand pressing it a little against his face, he wanted to feel her. Her warmth.
"Tum theek ho?" she asked giving him a meek smile.
He looked at her as though she wasn't real. This girl almost died a few hours back and now when she was back in her senses she was bothered about if he was ok or no?
He didn't bother answering her question. He simply picked her up in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder while his hands held her firmly. She fell into a slumber while he walked them back to the dhaba. He felt her heart beat against his, he smiled at it.
*****
"Mr. Khan"
He looked up to see the doctor looking down at him with a smile. He stood up looking at the doctor. "Ji" he gestured him to speak ahead.
"Mrs. Khan is fine now. Though she needs plenty of rest. She's out of danger."
She's out of danger. Those words echoed in his mind and maybe they were the only words he heard.
"Can I-?"
The doctor nodded in response.
He just gave him a smile and pushed the door to her room open. He wanted to see her.
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