Chapter 7
Present day
He woke up and thought for a moment he was at home. He often fell asleep with them like this when they were at home. When they were with him, he spent all his time with them. He even rarely went out in the evening unless it was a business dinner or meeting. Then he remembered where he was. He wondered why she didn't wake him up. The house was already dark. He took Palak and put her in her own bed and got up.
He was about to leave when he heard crying. He went to investigate. He didn't know the house but he instinctively knew it was coming from her and that this would be her bedroom. He opened the door. She was lying on the bed, still in her sarree and sandals. She was crying in her sleep.
"Yash, Yash" she whimpered in her sleep.
It broke his heart. Even now, even in her sleep, he still made her cry. He hated himself for it. He knew she loved him once. She had given him everything and all he did was break her heart. He had cost her everything.
He took off her shoes and wrapped the blanket around her. He knelt down and looked at her. He had the immense urge to kiss and hold her,tell her everything was going to be all right. But what did that mean. What was all right for them? Being apart or being together with their daughters like they were today. And even if he wanted that, it was too late. She wouldn't take him back and he was engaged to Arpita. And what was happening between her and Prashant. He couldn't stand the thought of them together. He couldn't stand the thought of Prashant with her. He knew how passionate she was. He wondered if she had any lovers in the last 3 years but in his heart he knew that it was not like her. He couldn't resist moving the piece of hair that fell over her face away. He wiped her tears and gave her a tiny kiss on her cheek. With great difficulty he left.
She woke up when she heard the door close and got up. She heard the car start and drive away. She got up and checked on the girls. They were fast asleep and Payal's fever was down. They were so happy having there pappa here today. It was the best treat ever. She smiled. She wished she could give them this every day. She wished she could have him here every day. But as it was in the past, that desire was only from her side. She was young and nave then. She had to be stronger now. She had to be stronger for her girls. She could not let him break her heart again. She had to stay away from him. It worked for them for the last 3 years. It would be the same from now on. She kissed each of her girls and went to bed.
"She woke up to intense wailing." She ran to the girl's room. It was Payal.
"Payal, what is it baby? Do you have pain? Where does it hurt sweetie?"
"I want my pappa. I want my pappa. He was here when I went to sleep and now he is gone. I want my pappa."
"Honey, you know papa does not live here. He went home. You will see him this weekend. Remember, this is your weekend with your pappa. I'm sure he has something special planned for you."
"No now. I want my pappa now."
She was at her wits end. And now Palak was also crying.
"Ok, calm down, I will call him."
She ran out of the room and realised that she didn't even have her number.
"Nanny. Nanny. Please give my Yash's number." and she called.
He was already in his car on his way to work when he got the call.
"Yashji, please could you come here." there was no greeting or anything.
"What's wrong Aartiji? Is Payal Ok?"
"The girls won't stop crying and Payal is demanding to have you here."
"Ok. I will be there in 15 minutes."
"Thank you, Yashji."
By the time he got there they were much calmer. They jumped on him and held him tight. She just walked out of the room. She went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She had decided to keep the girls home another day. She was agitated while she was preparing breakfast. She was resenting the fact that the girls wanted him here. When Payal was sick she could handle it, but not every day. She had sent Nanny to get the girls dressed as she didn't want to be close to him. But he came to the kitchen.
He could see that she was angry. She was banging and throwing things.
"Aartiji are you ok."
She stopped and looked at him.
"No, I am not ok. For one day you are here with them and now they demand to have you all the time. I can't deal with it. I can't have you in my house all the time."
"Technically it is my house" he said.
"Yes, technically it is your house, your money, your food, your children. Everything here is yours. And I hate it. I have nothing of my own. You didn't want me to work so I have nothing. I suppose that makes you happy."
"The money that I give you is for you and the children. Is it not enough?"
"I am sick and tired of your hand outs. When the girls are grown and you don't need to support them anymore, then what happens to me, I have no education or work experience. What will I do then?"
"I won't stop supporting you."
She turned around shaking her head.
"What. Why are you shaking your head?"
"Nothing. You don't get it."
"Aarti..."
"I suggest that you take the girls home with you after breakfast. They can spend the week with you. Nanny can let me know if Payal is doing ok."
"Fine" he said.
"And Yashji. I know it is your house but our system worked the way it was before. Please try and make the girls understand that you cannot come here anymore."
After breakfast he left with Nanny and the girls. She was all alone. She had a feeling that she was going to get used to this. Pretty soon he would be married and the girls would have a mother and father at SM. She wouldn't put it past them to try and take them away again. And that she could fight but what would she do if the girls preferred to live with them. Then she really would have nothing. No home, no money and no job. But nothing mattered anyway if she didn't have her girls. They were more important than anything to her. She couldn't be so helpless anymore. She had to do something with her life. She couldn't depend on him for everything. She had decided that she would go back to school but study what she wanted to this time. It didn't have to be fancy college, even just a short course. She could use some of the money that he gave her, she would pay him back when she got a job.
"She then went and searched the internet for a course that would fit into her budget and schedule. She finally found something that was like a community college so was not too expensive. And she could select classes that were only in the morning so that she could take the girls to school and fetch them again. She was very excited. It was the middle of the semester so she signed up for the next semester. She had a plan for her life now. Maybe she could become the type of woman that he daughters could be proud of.
When Prashant called the next day, she excitedly told him of her plan and as usual he was a tremendous source of encouragement. He invited her out for supper to celebrate her decision. Eventually she agreed. She was looking forward to it. She felt lighter than she had felt in a long time.
She had time on her hands and made a lovely saree for herself for the dinner. She had to admit to herself that she did a stunning job and the colours suited her very well. She looked quite fetching she thought to herself. And Prashant's reaction said it all. He always made her feel good.
"You look stunning, Aarti"
"And it is my own lovely creation" she mocked. She had no idea how much she affected him. "I did good, no?"
"You did very good. Shall we?" he extended his arm to her and they went to the car.
She had such a nice time and they were discussing her plans for the future when she felt someone's gaze on her. It was Yash and his expression was not encouraging. He was making his way over to her.
"Good evening. I can see it is, a good evening that is. Is that why you wanted the children gone."
"No Yashji, I this wasn't planned when you took the girls"
"Aarti, you don't owe him an explanation. You are divorced. " said Prashant.
"I wasn't speaking to you Dubey?" Yash said.
"Neihter was I speaking to you. You have no right to question Aarti. Besides the fact that you are divorced, you are engaged. Where is your fiance by the way?"
"That is none of your business." he said,
Aarti could see where this was going to end.
"Prashant, let's go."
"No, we were here first. He can go."
Clearly Yash had no plans to give in either.
"Fine in that case, I will leave. You two can stay here and behave like Neanderthals"
She took her bag and left. She didn't wait for Prashant, she found a taxi outside the restaurant and went home. She didn't answer his calls either.
Yash was pacing when he got back home. He had made his excuses to his business associates and went home. He had wanted to follow her but he knew he was too angry. He had to calm down and Dubey was right. He had no right to her at all. He was engaged. But he could not handle how happy she always looked when she was with Dubey. She was never like that with him. Their interactions were always too intense. He had to force himself to calm down and let things be.
The next day he didn't go into the office early. He had helped getting the girls ready and was working from home the morning, As he was about to leave and passed the lounge he heard Nanny and Vidhi talk.
"I'm worried about Aarti Madam. She is all alone." said Nanny
"But Yash said she decided for the girls to stay here for the week." said Vidhi.
"She did but she only did it because they were crying for her their pappa. She was very upset. You know Vidhi madam, she never spends any money on herself. She makes her own clothes. She buys the cheapest materials and things to make them but for the girls she only gets the best. She spends all her time on them as well. I am almost not needed. I just worry that she has no one and when we are not there, she is all alone."
He moved on but sat in his car for long time. He had a meeting so he had to go to the office. When his meeting was over he left immediately.
She was busy doing some drawings when she heard the knock on the door. She was very surprised to see him. He didn't even greet her, he pushed past her and went to her bedroom. He opened her wardrobe and looked at was in there. He looked through her drawers and he could see that there was nothing of quality. Her shoes, her toiletries and the she had no real jewellery of value either.
"What are you doing Yashji? Why are you here? Stop it. What are you doing?"
"What is this? Are you trying to embarrass me? Don't I give you enough money? Why the hell can't you even buy a decent dress or shoes?" he took out his wallet and threw money at her.
"Here, take this if you need more."
"I don't understand what's going on?"
"Is it true that you make your own clothes? That you spend nothing on yourself."
"How do you know?"
"So it's true."
He went back to her wardrobe and took everything out of her wardrobe and walked to the door and threw it outside"
"Yash, have you gone mad."
"What is it Aarti? Do you like suffering, do you like being the victim. Is that why you want to live like you are in abject poverty. What do you do with the money I give you if you don't even buy anything for yourself?"
"I use it for the house and the girls. I do use some of it for me. I don't have a choice."
"Why not all of it? What do you do with it?"
"I put it in a savings account for the girls."
"You think that they need it. My daughters are well cared for. If anything should happen to me, they will be independently wealthy. They don't need another savings account. Why don't you use it Aarti? Why!"
"Because it's yours. And I don't want anything from you! It was my own fault that I fell pregnant. You married me under duress. You thought I was going to die and you didn't want your daughters to be illegitimate. But I lived and I forced myself into your life when you repeatedly made it clear that you didn't want me. You couldn't even tell your family about me. We were your dirty little secret. How can I accept money from you? You already pay for everything else, this house, the car, the help, and school fees. You have already stripped me of all my pride. Leave me this one thing. I won't use your money unless I have to."
She turned to pick up her clothes but he pulled her by her arm and dragged her back inside.
"Are you suggesting that I wanted you to die?"
"I didn't say that"
"Fine, then I will start paying you for services rendered." He started kissing her angrily. And she fought him.
"No. Yash. No. Don't do this."
He was so angry, he started to rip the clothes off her.
"Please Yash, don't do this' she cried.
He let her go and left.
"I don't ever want to see you in these clothes again. I warn you Aarti. You better do as I say." She cried for a long time after he left.
The next day, she had a delivery. It was clothes, jewellery and perfume. The sales person said that she had tell him her size for the delivery of the shoes.
And she did. She wore his clothes from then on. Not that he would see her in them, but he seemed to know everything so she would do as she was told. She decided not to do the design course after all. It took very little to set him off and she didn't want to do it again.
Flashback:
Yash came home from the office, intending to shower and eat and then go to the apartment to see Aarti and the babies. He knew that something was wrong when he entered the house. His parents were sitting there waiting for him.
"Namaste, Ma, Bauji"
"Are you married, Yash?"
"Yes, Bauji" he admitted. Clearly they already knew.
"And you didn't feel that it was important to inform us of this?"
"How did you find out?"
"Your wife's friend came here looking for her."
"What do you have to say for yourself? I never expected something like this from you."
"It just happened Bauji. She was in hospital and no one knew if she was going to survive the birth of our children, of which I am sure you know of now as well. I had to do it. I could not allow my children to be illegitimate."
"How do you even know that those children are yours?"
"Those babies are mine, Ma and no one will dispute that" he said in a voice that his parents could not mistake.
"Then why did you not feel it necessary to tell us. What type of shameless girl is she that gets pregnant before marriage and then gets married in secret? That is disrespectful to us and her parents. That is not the kind of bahu I want for this house."
"I didn't tell you because this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. Her family disowned her when she fell pregnant so she has no one. She is still not fully recovered from her pregnancy complications. Did you expect me to just abandon her? I'm sorry, I couldn't do that. I won't do to my daughters what was done to me." He looked at his father accusingly.
"Yash, you can't still blame me for that. I didn't even know you existed till you were 5 years old."
"I don't want to discuss that right now Bauji. Ma, I will move out and get a place for my family. Don't worry, you don't have to put up with someone that you don't approve of."
"And what if this comes out in public. Imagine the embarrassment. You bring that woman and her children here. You have done enough to embarrass us."
The next day she was at the door of SM with her daughters. She was given a reluctant welcome at the door. She didn't say anything. Yash accompanied her to their room and he wanted her to lie down but she wouldn't. She felt too guilty. She tried to help out but she tired soon and had to lie down anyway.
His mother and aunt made her life hell. Vidhi was lovely and she lived for the moments when little Vedhika came to visit her and her little cousins. And even Vendant who was just short of 2 years old felt like a big boy now, because the babies were in the house.
She strengthened day by day and eventually she could help in the house. Her relationship with her husband was non-existent. He only lived for his daughters. She tried to do the best she can under the circumstances. She tried to do what her mother in law expected and to be a good mother to the girls. She tried to be a good wife too, the rare times that her husband was around.
He was glad that she was stronger now. He didn't have to feel guilty about her health anymore. But he couldn't help feeling resentment. Not towards her but because of the situation that they found themselves in. He still wanted her but he stayed away from her. He loved spending time with his daughters and he spent his time with them in the evening after work. They slept in the same bed and it was torture for him but she seemed oblivious to him. So he normally spent his nights restlessly tossing and turning till he eventually fell asleep early hours of the morning also he would be the one to get up and tend to the girls when they woke up in the night.
She was helping Vihdi with lunch 6 months into their marriage.
"Aarti how are things between you and Yash now?"
"Still the same bhabi. I am here only as the mother to his children. Nothing else."
"Are you happy with that arrangement?"
"No, Bhabhi. Like every other woman I dreamt of a happy marriage, but I fell in love with a man that does not want commitment and then I practically forced a family on him. So it seems a happy marriage is not for me."
"Do you still love him, Aarti"
"I am not sure anymore Bhabhi. So much has happened and he hurt me so much, I don't know if I can ever love him again."
"Aarti, Yash had to deal with a lot growing up as you know. He thinks he has dealt with it, but he hasn't. And with Aakash's passing, things just got worse. He needs you Aarti. You might not think that he cares for you, but I saw his interaction with you that day on the beach. I have never seen him like that with anyone. I know him Aarti, and he loves you. No one can force Yash to do anything he doesn't want to. He didn't have to marry you if he didn't want to. But he did. Don't give up on him, "Please. Fight for the love you once had. Just try."
"How Bhabhi. Where do I even start?"
"Start small, I will pack a lunch and you take it to him and take it from there."
She was very uncertain about this, but she did it. And in her heart of hearts she didn't want to give up on a chance to be a family with him. It was what she wanted before. She felt nervous but encouraged.
He was just finishing off his meeting with Ishita Gupta. They had been business associates and sometimes more in the last couple of years. She was more interested in him than he was in her and he knew that. She got up , he walked her to the door and they stopped at the door.
"So how is married life, darling?"
"Fine I suppose"
"I don't know you as a one woman man. So do you care to go out for dinner tonight?"
"I don't think so Ishita"
"Maybe I can convince you otherwise" she said and kissed him. He kissed her back, his desire for his wife was blurred with what was on offer at that moment."
Aarti was very surprised that there was no one in the reception area, but she saw his name on one of the office doors and went towards it, gave a knock and opened the door. She gasped and dropped the container that she was holding.
He was disturbed by the sound of the falling container and saw her standing there with a look of shock and pain on her face.
"Aarti" he said. Before he could react she was gone.
"Wait", Ishita said trying to hold on to him.
"Leave me, Ishita. I have to go to my wife."
He ran after her but she was gone. He rushed to his car to get home.
She was packing furiously when he got home.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?"
"You are not leaving?"
"Watch me"
"Aarti, I can explain"
"What, did you slip and get your tongue stuck in that woman's mouth."
"Stop it Aarti. You don't have anywhere to go."
"It won't be the first time" she shot back.
"You are not taking my children!"
"I am not leaving without my children"
"I won't let you take them. I will rather kill you then lose my children."
"And I am not having my children raised by a man that can't keep it in his pants. You are nothing but a man w***e"
"Says the one that begged me to make love to her. Do you remember how you gave yourself to me so freely? How you demanded that I make love to you. Then what does that make you?"
"A fool. It makes me a fool for loving a man like you! I'm taking my children and there is nothing you can do about it."
He was hurt by her words and desperate not to lose his children.'
"No, No!" You won't and he advanced to her dangerously.
She moved instantly and ran out of the room and only stopped when she reached Prateeks room and locked the door. And just in , as he was pursuing her. He banged on the door.
"Open this door now, Aarti. If you don't I will break it down!"
"No, leave the house and give me chance to leave with the children"
"Bhabhi, what's going on?" she heard Prateek behind her.
"He wants to kill me"
"That's crazy. Bhayiay will never do anything like that."
The next moment they heard him trying to kick in the door down.
"Yash, what are you doing?" his mother said.
"Leave me Ma, today I will kill that woman. I will not let he take my children"
"Calm down Yash, beta" his aunt said. "You are not thinking rationally."
"Yash bhayia what happened. She came to bring you lunch and now you are behaving like this?" said Vidhi.
He stopped for a moment, realising his part in this fiasco and he calmed down.
"Wait till your father gets home and you can talk." said his mother.
He had calmed down considerably by the time his father came down. His family was on his side. They were happy to see her go but would not lose the babies.
She eventually came out of Prateek's room.
"I won't leave my children. If you won't let me leave with my children, I will make sure everyone knows about all the sordid secrets that this family is hiding. What the circumstances were behind Aakash and Yash's birth. Who their real mother was. And why Aakash turned out the way he did and why he died the way he did. I know everything and I am not afraid to do what I need to get away from this dysfunctional family."
He was enraged again. He got up to get at again and she jumped and hid behind Prateek and at the same time Pankaj held on to him.
His parents were looking at her in pure hatred.
"Let her go Yash. We have built up a good reputation and she wants to ruin it. Give her what she wants and let her go."
"My children, Bauji"
"I won't keep them from you. You can see them on weekends and holidays." she said.
"So I must be happy to see them only on weekends"
"That's the way it will be Yash. Let me go. I can't be with you anymore. You might not have killed me physically but you are killing me in every other way. Give me my life back so that I can be the mother my children deserves, let me go."
He shook out of Pankaj's hold.
"Bauji I will stay at my flat for the next week and I will make arrangements for a suitable place for her and the children. Till then she will remain here."
And he left. And they didn't see each other till the school play.
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