Posted:
Hey everyone! 🤗 Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! <3 And now, as promised, here is part two! I have separated it into two parts because it was becoming too long to write! But please read, review and comment! <3
Part 2B will be posted soon after!
Part 2A
"Put it on properly bhabhi!" Scolded Sheila, grabbing the blush from my hand. "I swear, the baratis are going to be more decked up than you!" She wailed. I rolled my eyes, stifiling a smile. "God Sheila, do you realize that I'm almost ten years older than you? And this is my second marriage. Seriously, there is NO need to go crazy for my wedding." Sheila stepped back, irritatedly. "Bhabhi, I swear, I will strap you to this very seat if I have to. But tonight, you're going to be the centre of attention. And I'm going to make sure of that." I shook my head. "But Sheila-"
"Uh uh uh! I don't want to hear anything!" Saying so, she began to pile up the powder, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush and mascara in one place. I sighed, realizing that I obviously wasn't going to escape from this today. "Bhabhi, you know, marriages are the start to the most sacred and pure of bonds." She murmured, concentrating fully on applying the compact powder. "Before I met Rohan," She said, placing her finger on my chin and lifting up my face, "my life was empty. I didn't really understand the meaning of love until I married him." She turned my face, side to side to examine her handy work and offer a satisfied nod from time to time. "And look at us now," She whispered, a light red lining her cheeks. "We have two kids with a third on the way."
I smiled, feeling slightly confused, but happy for her. "Yes, but, why are you telling me this?" I asked. She grinned. "I thought you might need a heads up. You know, so you see what you're getting into!" I turned beet red, for some godforsaken reason. Taking in my expression, she laughed. "From the way I've seen him look at you, he's head over heels over you bhabhi!" She giggled, feeling amused at my embarrassement.
And then it struck me. "Wait. He looked at me? When?! Where?! I've never met him before!" She raised her eyebrows, questioningly. "Oh? You've never seen him? Don't worry, he's a sweetheart! I know you'll love him." She assured me. I shook my head. "No, but, wait. When did he see me? And how could he have? I would have known if we'd seen each other." I insisted. She didn't reply. She stepped back, and pulled my pallu over my head. With hands on her hips, she gave a final nod. "Beautiful. You're beautiful bhabhi." Taking me by the shoulder she slowly turned me to face the mirror. Saying that I was nervous would be an understatement. Memories of my first marriage, with Raj ji swam in my mind. I remembered a time when I loved to dress myself. I used to do it for Raj ji. My family had adorned me in the grandest of outfits on the day of my marriage. I thought Raj ji would love it. I had imagined every possible scenario: him walking toward me slowly, in the dark of the night... pulling away my pallu... gazing at me in the eyes and saying those three magical words. I had imagined how he would slowly ease of my jewellery, kissing every part of the skin. I had thought about it all. In the end? We had each slept away the first night. The night of my marriage. Since then, I had been afraid to dream. To hope. And today, I felt all those dreams resurfacing. Today, I was terrified. All these days, I had imagined Raj ji performing those actions. Today, it would be a new person. A different person. A person whom I had never seen, but who had seen me. How would I get past this night. The only man's touch I could ever, ever bear would be Raj ji's... The thought of a strange man touching me intimately frightened me out of my skin.
But I had to do this. I had to forget the past. I was starting anew. And so, with these thoughts in mind, I looked up, into the mirror. My breath stopped. Was this really me? Sheila had always tried to convince me that I was beautiful, but I had never believed it. Until today. Today... Sheila had definately worked her magic. I couldn't believe it. I looked... unearthly. As if I had come from a different planet altogether. I looked breathtaking. "Thank you..." I said, breathlessly. "Thank you for making tonight special."
I turned towards her. She was smiling encouragingly at me. She placed her fingers under my chin. "You were already a diamond bhabhi, I just polished you." I could feel the tears lining my eyes at her words. I couldn't help but reach over and hug the angel standing in front of me. "Uh uh! Bhabhi, you better not be crying!" She scolded. "You'll ruin my makeup!"
After a moment of silence, we both began to chuckle, and then broke out into full-fledged laughter at the situation.
***
Half an hour later, I was walking down the stairs to the mandap. Even from inside the barriers of the pallu, I could feel the eyes of the crowd boring through my skin and hear the stunned gasps that they released. I felt so self-conscious. At that moment, I knew that if it hadn't been for Sheila's encouraging grasp on my shoulder, I would have probably fallen off the stairs in nervousness. What made me even more nervous was that Raj ji was somewhere in the crowd. He was watching me. I blushed, in spite of myself.
Sheila and some of the other girls guided me to the mandap and helped me down. I closed my eyes tightly, looking down. I refused to see the man I was marrying. I refused to. I would probably be repulsed. Or worse yet, I might end up stopping the marriage. If I didn't look at him, I would be able to control my emotions. For Raj ji. I thought. For Raj ji.
The fire was incredibly hot, and in a matter of minutes, I was sweating. Oh god, with the heat of the fire, and the nervousness of having everyone's eyes on me, I thought I was going to vomit. God, I felt sick. Is this how I had felt the first time, during my wedding with Raj ji? I didn't think so. God... with every passing moment, the heat was becoming unbearable. My breathing was ragged, and I had to keep blinking to hold consciousness. Just a little while longer, I begged myself, and then it will all be over. And it was true. It would be all over. I would be ruining my life for a second time. Raj ji would be married to Divya. I blinked back the tears. I'm happy for him, I told myself. I took in a deep breath, trying to control myself. But my heart ached. It had been aching for ten years straight. But that pain was so much easier to handle than this. At least, in those ten years, I knew I would be able to at least see Raj ji. At least he was in front of my eyes... in front of me. I could watch him and love him from a distance. But now. I would never see him again. I could barely breathe. It took all my strength to continue sitting in front of that agni. With every mantra that the priest spoke, I felt Raj ji slipping farther and farther away from me. He was unreachable now. In a moment, the man beside me would put the mangalsutra around my neck and apply sindoor to my forehead. And then, I would be his forever.
I can't do this. That was the last thought I had before slipping away into blackness.
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Anupamaa
CID
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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