Sad but That's Life

My heart went out to Krishna today. And also surprisingly to our very own patriach -Thakur Sajjan Singh.

I am a daddy's girl and I know how much it would hurt if the parent I was closest to expressed disappointment in me or distanced himself from me. It is akin to a sense of unexpected abandonment.

Yet the fact of the matter is that Joint Family System, a long honoured tradition and a tried and tested family system in India is a thing of the past.

With the proliferation of education, freedom of expression/speech and financial independence, nuclear families are the new status quo. I am not against a nuclear family system as I have always enjoyed the benefits of it.

But the reality is that the paradigm has shifted from prioritizing the needs of the couple/individual over those of the family. Most couples now-a-days are very clear on their priorities, their wants, their dislikes and their level of tolerance of family obligations, involvement or interference.

I feel bad for Krishna but let us assume that the murder plots and Cruella de Vil were not thrown into the mix, a couple like Kriya would still need to live separately in order to live in harmony with their family.

Krishna revels in the boldness and independent mindset of his wife, he should understand that the joint family system only works when the hierarchy is maintained and humility, unconditional acceptance of family rules and decorum are the rules one plays by.

Better to move out proactively at the start of the marriage than be thrown out or made to leave midway.

Wonderful acting again by Arhaan, Anupam and the Thakurain😃

I agree with you Hope. It's sure that the "each to his own" policy would inevitably ensure trouble in a joint family system. To live in relative harmony in such a system require to follow/respect a pre-established hierarchy and some sets of rules.......Kriya should have a discussion about their future and decide whether they can/want to keep living there or take a step and move out of the Thakur Niwas to build their own home......

Very Well Put Hope.

Baba's Situation:

Amma does not accept his better half

Hell bent not to give her due respect if any.

.

His better half is literate

Her logically polished mind out speaks right and wrong

Urge that she be respected as a family member

Balance rights of mother and his wife? Tough call

adjusting becomes absolutely impossible?

bicker day in and day out?

Solutions?

Move Out?

Pros:

Freedom

More Kriya Moment (Baba's Babies popping up😆)

Cons:

survival is at stake? (Baba working? Yeah right!!)

P working? (ego clash eh!)

One last thing about Amma LOL

What is the difference between a vulture and amma? At least vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.

😡

Originally posted by: stillhopeful

My heart went out to Krishna today. And also surprisingly to our very own patriach -Thakur Sajjan Singh.

I am a daddy's girl and I know how much it would hurt if the parent I was closest to expressed disappointment in me or distanced himself from me. It is akin to a sense of unexpected abandonment.

Yet the fact of the matter is that Joint Family System, a long honoured tradition and a tried and tested family system in India is a thing of the past.

With the proliferation of education, freedom of expression/speech and financial independence, nuclear families are the new status quo. I am not against a nuclear family system as I have always enjoyed the benefits of it.

But the reality is that the paradigm has shifted from prioritizing the needs of the couple/individual over those of the family. Most couples now-a-days are very clear on their priorities, their wants, their dislikes and their level of tolerance of family obligations, involvement or interference.

I feel bad for Krishna but let us assume that the murder plots and Cruella de Vil were not thrown into the mix, a couple like Kriya would still need to live separately in order to live in harmony with their family.

Krishna revels in the boldness and independent mindset of his wife, he should understand that the joint family system only works when the hierarchy is maintained and humility, unconditional acceptance of family rules and decorum are the rules one plays by.

Better to move out proactively at the start of the marriage than be thrown out or made to leave midway.

Wonderful acting again by Arhaan, Anupam and the Thakurain😃

Hope

Very emotional and touching post Hope 👏

It was so pain full to see the out stretched arms of Krishna wanting to hug his father. For Krishna the moment of happiness came and went, leaving him sorrows, with teary eyes he was staring at his father and thinking what should I do. Thinking that not a day since the day one to this day since his marriage he has only seen his parents hating his choice his love. Contrary to their behavior His beloved has never complained about any thing no matter how degrading or insulting leaving him perplexed at situations as the one that happened today.

My heart further goes out for him that this was just a hug that was denied to him, what would happen when he will come to know that his father is the master planer in a plot to kill his beloved.

I have not seen any father in my life time who claims to love their children, yet hate their spouses so much, even after knowing that they love each other, and would plot a cold blooded murder for the one that their child can not live without. Does such heartless parents exists ?? I

I think Krishna is very correctly assessing the situation on hand. When he left the Havan and went to his bedroom with his wife and told her exactly the way his family is behaving, he was so accurate to assess them and worded their deeds so appropriately. Poor guy. 😕

Originally posted by: Aeryn

I agree with you Hope. It's sure that the "each to his own" policy would inevitably ensure trouble in a joint family system. To live in relative harmony in such a system require to follow/respect a pre-established hierarchy and some sets of rules.......Kriya should have a discussion about their future and decide whether they can/want to keep living there or take a step and move out of the Thakur Niwas to build their own home......

Regarding the Krishna-SS scene today, all I have to say is I can understand Krishna's pain as out of everyone else in his family, his father is the one most dear to him but I can also understand SS' logic and feelings behind his gesture. So I personally can't dislike SS for his actions today.......It's true that to feel kind of rejected by his most cherish parent is something hurtful for a child but the reverse is also true.....All SS has seen is his favourite son (the one he can't live without) constantly choosing his wife's side over his family thus rejecting his parents and the pre-established order and rules of the house.......His son has changed and SS is finding it hard to accept as for him this change has distanced Krishna from himself......So today in a sort of tit for that action, I have the feeling he wanted to show Krishna how it feels to be rejected...... I miss the old Krishna-SS interactions......

Aeryn:

I cannot be disappointed with SS this time. A parent has his limits too.

You indulge your child out of love but some times the disappointments are hard to take.

SS is an old fashioned man. very old fashioned. In his own way he tried to accord the respect to Pratigya that Krishna wanted her to receive in that house - this was not because she was educated but rather for the sole reason that she was HIS KRISHNA'S WIFE. I remember many a time when he taunted challenged and shouted at the matriach of the house to defend or support the youngest woman in the house.

Everytime Krishna took his wife's side over the family's, Krishna did so respectfully and displomatically without really disrepecting the family members just taking a firm stance. SS stayed neutral and let Amma do the fighting with Krishna

but at the havan he told his dad "I don't want to talk to you about this and walked away from his dad" - first time he picked his wife over his dad. Seeing Krishna challenge the family is amusing for SS as he sees him like a lovable cub. But seeing his cub claw directly at him must have been very disappointing for him. Krishna has finally realized that he went too far. I am not saying he was wrong in supporting his wife. It was in line with his previous stance but he never previously realized that he widenign gap that he was creating between himself and his family until THAT MOMENT THAT SS REJECTED HIM

SS was torn up about it inside you could see it in his face and actions. Even Shakti for all his sibling rivalry was shocked. Shakti may be a jerk of the first accord but he loves his kid brother and adores his dad. I don't think that he wanted to win his father's love this way.

The distance between SS and Krish may not last forever but the first crack in the strongest bond on this show has just appeared.

The time to move out for Krish is now - he can still salvage his relationship with his family if he gets his marriage out of their face.

Originally posted by: Shefali_K

Very Well Put Hope.

Baba's Situation:

Amma does not accept his better half

Hell bent not to give her due respect if any.

.

His better half is literate

Her logically polished mind out speaks right and wrong

Urge that she be respected as a family member

Balance rights of mother and his wife? Tough call

adjusting becomes absolutely impossible?

bicker day in and day out?

Solutions?

Move Out?

Pros:

Freedom

More Kriya Moment (Baba's Babies popping up😆)

Cons:

survival is at stake? (Baba working? Yeah right!!)

P working? (ego clash eh!)

One last thing about Amma LOL

What is the difference between a vulture and amma? At least vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.

😡

Seriously Shefali,

NO ONE IN THAT HOUSE LIKES OR CARES TWO HOOTS ABOUT AMMA

SS is not supporting Amma because of love or respect for her, he is supporting Amma only because they have a common problem - Pratigya.

This is why no matter how bad SS maybe Krish will always love him because SS genuinely loves his children. His autocratic mind makes him use everyone (possibly including his mother) when he needs to but his love for his children cannot be questioned

I do not believe Amma loves her boys. I think she sees them as assets and basically pieces that must remain within her control in order for her to share even the smallest comforts associated with being the matriach of the singh household. If she loses control of the kids then SS will treat her as an ordinary housekeeper.

Baba lovable as he is needs a job - pronto. And please CVs do not waste this character on a desk job. Show him doing something ingenious with his intelligent and practical mind.

Originally posted by: PRAGMATIC

Very emotional and touching post Hope 👏

It was so pain full to see the out stretched arms of Krishna wanting to hug his father. For Krishna the moment of happiness came and went, leaving him sorrows, with teary eyes he was staring at his father and thinking what should I do. Thinking that not a day since the day one to this day since his marriage he has only seen his parents hating his choice his love. Contrary to their behavior His beloved has never complained about any thing no matter how degrading or insulting leaving him perplexed at situations as the one that happened today.

My heart further goes out for him that this was just a hug that was denied to him, what would happen when he will come to know that his father is the master planer in a plot to kill his beloved.

I have not seen any father in my life time who claims to love their children, yet hate their spouses so much, even after knowing that they love each other, and would plot a cold blooded murder for the one that their child can not live without. Does such heartless parents exists ?? I

I think Krishna is very correctly assessing the situation on hand. When he left the Havan and went to his bedroom with his wife and told her exactly the way his family is behaving, he was so accurate to assess them and worded their deeds so appropriately. Poor guy. 😕


Sam:

SS is not your average conservative middle class father.

his character is that of an orthodox traditional patriach. The Singh family name and legacy is his utmost priority even above the welfare of his children. His love, his wealth, his support and indulgence is always there for his children on the two simple rules - Love and respect me, and follow my rules

You cannot look at the incident from Krishna or Pratigya's eyes. You have to look at it from his eyes

As a old-fashioned man who is extremely orthodox about his family, their actions, their reputation, his role as THE patriach, any issue (no matter whether small or big) is HIS PROBLEM. Outsiders are never to be involved.

Again keep aside the fact that there is a murder plot going on - Let us assume that Shakti beat Kesar up because she confessed about the hooker he bought home at night - he would want to punish Shakti himself and his punishment would have been full out. or even Amma for that matter.

the police complaint blindsided him and made him helpless in the eyes of his family. Also it stripped his family from under his protective cover and put them in the public limelight

Krishna has lived, loved and respected this man for over 30 years. he has followed these rules without question.

SS expects him to understand how much the complaint went against every unspoken rule or tradition of that house.

Krishna did not come up to SS's expecatations and the only reason for that was because of Pratigya.

I am not saying SS is right. I am not saying krishna was wrong.

I am just trying to put myself in SS shoes.

To me he is not being a heartless father. he is a deeply disappointed father and he is reacting in this way.

The plot to kill Prats was again based on this orthodox ideology - she damaged the family name by disclosing something that questionable in public without earlier warning.

His mafia mindset says - fine, Krishna will not leave her then the only way to address this situation is to take her out completely.

Inspite of Amma's instigation he did not want to harm Pratigya because up until the public disclosure he saw this as a saas-bahu thing which was petty but to be expected considering a bully MIL and a wilful DIL. but the disclosure and its aftermath was not petty but serious for a person in his position, community and line of work

Originally posted by: stillhopeful

Very emotional and touching post Hope 👏

It was so pain full to see the out stretched arms of Krishna wanting to hug his father. For Krishna the moment of happiness came and went, leaving him sorrows, with teary eyes he was staring at his father and thinking what should I do. Thinking that not a day since the day one to this day since his marriage he has only seen his parents hating his choice his love. Contrary to their behavior His beloved has never complained about any thing no matter how degrading or insulting leaving him perplexed at situations as the one that happened today.

My heart further goes out for him that this was just a hug that was denied to him, what would happen when he will come to know that his father is the master planer in a plot to kill his beloved.

I have not seen any father in my life time who claims to love their children, yet hate their spouses so much, even after knowing that they love each other, and would plot a cold blooded murder for the one that their child can not live without. Does such heartless parents exists ?? I

I think Krishna is very correctly assessing the situation on hand. When he left the Havan and went to his bedroom with his wife and told her exactly the way his family is behaving, he was so accurate to assess them and worded their deeds so appropriately. Poor guy. 😕

Sam:

SS is not your average conservative middle class father.

his character is that of an orthodox traditional patriach. The Singh family name and legacy is his utmost priority even above the welfare of his children. His love, his wealth, his support and indulgence is always there for his children on the two simple rules - Love and respect me, and follow my rules

You cannot look at the incident from Krishna or Pratigya's eyes. You have to look at it from his eyes

As a old-fashioned man who is extremely orthodox about his family, their actions, their reputation, his role as THE patriach, any issue (no matter whether small or big) is HIS PROBLEM. Outsiders are never to be involved.

Again keep aside the fact that there is a murder plot going on - Let us assume that Shakti beat Kesar up because she confessed about the hooker he bought home at night - he would want to punish Shakti himself and his punishment would have been full out. or even Amma for that matter.

the police complaint blindsided him and made him helpless in the eyes of his family. Also it stripped his family from under his protective cover and put them in the public limelight

Krishna has lived, loved and respected this man for over 30 years. he has followed these rules without question.

SS expects him to understand how much the complaint went against every unspoken rule or tradition of that house.

Krishna did not come up to SS's expecatations and the only reason for that was because of Pratigya.

I am not saying SS is right. I am not saying krishna was wrong.

I am just trying to put myself in SS shoes.

To me he is not being a heartless father. he is a deeply disappointed father and he is reacting in this way.

The plot to kill Prats was again based on this orthodox ideology - she damaged the family name by disclosing something that questionable in public without earlier warning.

His mafia mindset says - fine, Krishna will not leave her then the only way to address this situation is to take her out completely.

Inspite of Amma's instigation he did not want to harm Pratigya because up until the public disclosure he saw this as a saas-bahu thing which was petty but to be expected considering a bully MIL and a wilful DIL. but the disclosure and its aftermath was not petty but serious for a person in his position, community and line of work




Hope
I completely understand the backdrop of character Sajjan Singh , such a beautifully crafted character who conveys his era, his mind set and the ruthless zeal with which he is trying to protect his traditional ways, his power and his name.

But little he knows that the times are changing. Even small towns are no more their jaagires, any more, The rebellion is within his own empire, within his own blood, within his beloved son, his two successors who he wanted to tame like a horse who follows the master, carries the family traditions generations after generations. Sajjan knows very well that his elder son is no good, His hopes were on Krishna, whose mother he taunted so many times to confirm that is he his own son ?. Whose only crime was that he loved a girl and married her. Had Sajan and family accepted her as their DIL in the first place,such situations could'nt have happened. This is where he creates doubts on his foresightedness, his guile and even his affection and love for his children who he uses to gain political benefits. The marriage with a Kayist girl, Really looked foolish.

The old traditional ways of Thakur Sajjan Singh are merely oppressive, unethical and brutal even in the eyes of his own son. In his son he is seeing the defeat of his feudal ways, fighting hard to keep his old traditions alive at the cost of the lives of his own blood, He is so much blinded in his quest that he even ignores the murder of an unborn who could have been the next generation of his family. in an effort to hide the murder plot based merely on hate. such brutalities causes Karma to play its part and serve justice 😳 And I think justice is as brutal and traumatic as his own deeds - SAD BUT THAT IS LIFE.

good post.......SS is playing a losing game here.........by distancing himself from his beloved baba (although a natak, because he folded his hands in forgiveness to god for the pain he was causing his son) he is speeding up the possible breakup between him and krishna.............amma, i don't know what to say....if she were human then i could have atleast tried to decipher what she meant by that evil smile when her husband rejected their son.............😡😡sakthi, i think he is genuinely concerned.........😕

Originally posted by: PRAGMATIC

Sam:

SS is not your average conservative middle class father.

his character is that of an orthodox traditional patriach. The Singh family name and legacy is his utmost priority even above the welfare of his children. His love, his wealth, his support and indulgence is always there for his children on the two simple rules - Love and respect me, and follow my rules

You cannot look at the incident from Krishna or Pratigya's eyes. You have to look at it from his eyes

As a old-fashioned man who is extremely orthodox about his family, their actions, their reputation, his role as THE patriach, any issue (no matter whether small or big) is HIS PROBLEM. Outsiders are never to be involved.

Again keep aside the fact that there is a murder plot going on - Let us assume that Shakti beat Kesar up because she confessed about the hooker he bought home at night - he would want to punish Shakti himself and his punishment would have been full out. or even Amma for that matter.

the police complaint blindsided him and made him helpless in the eyes of his family. Also it stripped his family from under his protective cover and put them in the public limelight

Krishna has lived, loved and respected this man for over 30 years. he has followed these rules without question.

SS expects him to understand how much the complaint went against every unspoken rule or tradition of that house.

Krishna did not come up to SS's expecatations and the only reason for that was because of Pratigya.

I am not saying SS is right. I am not saying krishna was wrong.

I am just trying to put myself in SS shoes.

To me he is not being a heartless father. he is a deeply disappointed father and he is reacting in this way.

The plot to kill Prats was again based on this orthodox ideology - she damaged the family name by disclosing something that questionable in public without earlier warning.

His mafia mindset says - fine, Krishna will not leave her then the only way to address this situation is to take her out completely.

Inspite of Amma's instigation he did not want to harm Pratigya because up until the public disclosure he saw this as a saas-bahu thing which was petty but to be expected considering a bully MIL and a wilful DIL. but the disclosure and its aftermath was not petty but serious for a person in his position, community and line of work

Hope
I completely understand the backdrop of character Sajjan Singh , such a beautifully crafted character who conveys his era, his mind set and the ruthless zeal with which he is trying to protect his traditional ways, his power and his name.

But little he knows that the times are changing. Even small towns are no more their jaagires, any more, The rebellion is within his own empire, within his own blood, within his beloved son, his two successors who he wanted to tame like a horse who follows the master, carries the family traditions generations after generations. Sajjan knows very well that his elder son is no good, His hopes were on Krishna, whose mother he taunted so many times to confirm that is he his own son ?. Whose only crime was that he loved a girl and married her. Had Sajan and family accepted her as their DIL in the first place,such situations could'nt have happened. This is where he creates doubts on his foresightedness, his guile and even his affection and love for his children who he uses to gain political benefits. The marriage with a Kayist girl, Really looked foolish.

sorry i couldnt help commenting?

sajjan singh n family did accept pratigya as their own.....but it was old pratigya with hate agenda who never accepted her in-laws as her own ...... there are too many instances to count where she defied sajjan singh n challenged him front of his family........i remember SS calling her krishna bahu but i cant remember when was the last time.....