This one goes out especially for Sam, because he asked for it and to all Kriya lovers as a special celebratory post! I thought one must not be lazy and should mark the occasion! But looks like I got carried away and have landed with a mile long post. Please forgive me for this crazy long post, but kindly indulge!
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The world must have told a million love stories. Each unique and all similar. The Kriya love story is a special one. Its longest chapter has been its first one. The very act of falling in love has been an arduous task for both the lovers. Both have had to overcome the greatest internal conflicts to arrive at the depth of their love. Most people would argue that for Krishna, love was an instantaneous thing and for Pratigya it was a path of greatest resistance. I have a slightly different take on this-
Yes, it is true that Krishna recognized his kindred spirit and the accompanying emotion immediately. He allowed that recognition to drive him into taking action ' striving to acquire the object of his affections and doing the best he could to keep her with him. But did Krishna fully understand the depth of his feelings or the true state of love till now? I think not. Krishna always has had a strong sense of self, great pride in his own physical and mental strength. Thought of himself as a man who bows for no one, who gets what he wants at all costs ' a man who is will remain unswayed by another's will or maneuvers. He thought that love's path ends with marriage, where a woman is brought home to look after home and hearth and life goes on smoothly as before, albeit more pleasantly. He was in for a rude shock. He began to find slowly that far from being the sweetner he assumed it would be love turned his life upside down. Everyday brought fresh questions and fresh challenges. With each successful challenge his love has been growing steadier but paradoxically more frustrated for being unrequited. But he still resisted the ultimate sacrifice that love demands, which is complete surrender. A surrendering of the ego, personality, values and beliefs and eventually even the sense of self. (Oh! I am not saying this is simple at all, these are the demands of a rare kind of love! But then this is a rare kind of love story!) But the extradinary shock which he received in court that day has shaken him to the core. His natural sense of self-preservation urges him not to be the proverbial "Love's fool!" and but an even stronger force has already told him that he does not have a choice. That his love leaves him with no choice. That even at the cost of his pride and former beliefs, at the cost of social ridicule, he will eventually choose to love, and not doubt or hate. Right at this moment Krishna is going through the motions of a resistance, the last defiance, a last look at his former self before he finally dons the very heavy mantle of his real love.
Coming to Pratigya ' the graph of her love has been very different. Hers did not even begin on the upper-right quadrant of the graph. Hers has been a steep climb up from a wholly negative space. Overcoming, anger, resentment, hurt, suspicion and blatant mistrust she has passed through the stages of misgiving, tolerance, acceptance, affection and then rapidly to love. Hers was a journey from disbelief to faith. But once that faith has come to her, love has been accepted wholly and instantaneously. Nothing stands in the way of her love now ' not fear of the extreme tortures she may have to endure for the sake of it, not a fear that she may have to abase herself for it, not even the fact that she may have to painstakingly win back the love she may have lost. Once given her commitment is complete.
In effect I think, that though Krishna and Pratigya may have started their journey from different points and swam different courses, they have arrived at the bottom of the ocean simultaneously. It remains to be seen how they swim in unison now.
This brings me to the next part of the discussion ' What is the quality of Pratigya's love? Everybody accepts that Krishna's love is passionate, spontaneous and combustible. Now we know that it is also strong enough to be capable of great sacrifice. But opinion is divided about the nature of Pratigya's love. People see this rational stoic girl, who keeps her own counsel, who relies on her intellect to answer problems. But I see Pratigya as someone primarily motored by her gut and heart. Her intellectual facade is just that ' a facade, a veneer, a defense. All her decisions to date - from marrying Krishna (love of family) resisting him (not sensible, just gutsy), to accepting him (immediately contrite and guilty for having misjudged him), to loving him, coming back and staying for him (finally trusting and really seeing his true nature) ' have all been dictated by her heart and not by reasoned profit and loss tabulations. Her not eating and sitting at the doorstep are not sensible things to do, they are not even necessary. it could in fact prove dangerous to expose her desperation and vulnerability to the Thakurs. But when has fear or establishment ever deterred Pratigya?! She will always listen to her "Mann ki Awaaz"!
This encourages me to hope that Pratigya will be the best sort of lover ' heart-driven and entirely giving. And not just a good, dutiful wife who is only bent upon saving her marriage. I feel that her love for Krishna will underline her actions from now on. I think hers will be a deep multi-dimensional love. I only hope that the CVs' concur with this opinion. In which case we will be lucky indeed!
Just for today, because the occasion calls for it, I leave you with this wonderful poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning -
| How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Love (What else?) Dyehard. |
Shiv Shakti
