FF: Mehboba Updated page 13 - Page 2

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serialmaniac thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#11
good...........waiting for them to meet...............krishna is sick🤢
halaa thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#12
ur first chap is so good.
Krishna is behaving justlike a true disgusting thakur.
waiting for kriya first meeting.
plz continue soon.
Shabz. thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#13
i love the concept and u started the FF off really well😊
-sunlight- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#14
wow really good FF 😊
im not sure i like krishna though.. hes horrible!
do carry on tho i would love to see more! xxxx
..CountingStars thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#15
Wow Nice Intro...Pratigya's In A Lot Of Troubles Lol
Cant Wait For The Next Chapter
apolloartemis thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#16
Hello everybody- here is chapter two. I know a lot of people don't like Krishna, but I wanted to see a darker side of him- we don't know what he was like before he met Prat's afterall. And given his family environment and how he treats Pratigya, who he loves...well I think this is a reasonable interpretation of his character😊. Please comment and leave feedback and I apologize for any spelling errors! Enjoy!

Chapter two

"Didi, tum itni kubsoorat lagti ho!" Arushi laughed as she and Pratigya looked at each other in the mirror. Pratigya was wearing a light blue sari with makeup done around her eyes and lips. The rest of her face was refreshingly bare- she didn't want to wear a ton of make up as it made her face feel caked.

"You must be so excited" Arushi was smiling as she said this, but Pratigya only frowned in reply. "Arushi, saach bolu? Main itni kush nahi hoon…main Nitin ko jante hi nahi. Saab log bolte hain ki woh bohut accha ladka hain, mgar, mujhe kya pata? Maine uske saat dus minute ke liye baat ki, aur baki waqt saab humse bole rehe the, kitne pyaari jodi hai…kitna acha ladka hai. To, main itni kush nahi hoon, kyunki me ek stranger ke saat sagai kar rahe hoon."

Arushi frowned "Appne sab ko ye kuch nahi bola"

Pratigya motioned outside "Look how happy they are…I only want our parent's happiness Arushi…aur is se woh bohut kush hai. Kuch der mai, mein bhi kush hoon gi."

"Beeti, chalo, nahin to deer ho jaigi" Shyamji's voice came from outside.

"Didi…" Arushi looked at her sister, the previous happiness gone. Pratigya smiled bravely. "Chalo Arushi," she said softly "deer ho jaige"

"Nahi Didi…aab bohot deer ho gayi" Arushi replied frowing. Pratigya went outside and Arushi followed. "Bhagwan," Arushi prayed "Mere Didi ki kushi ke liye kuch karye. Who apne liye nahin mangegi, toh main mang rahi hoon. Use kush hone diyeje."

XXXXX

"Welcome Thakurji" Nitin's father Jagmohan said nervously. Thakur Sajjin Singh was a big man in Allahbad, and Jagmohan was just a small fish. He actually owed the Thakur money, and was hoping to use the occasion to beg for more time. Sajjin Singh nodded at him and motioned behind him "Yeh hain mere bte…Shakti aur Krishna" Both men nodded at Jagmohan and continued to look around at the sights. Shakti started leering at the girls around the party, while Krishna was more restrained, looking but never staring.

Truth be told, Krishna was bored with his life- everything was too easy, and everyone was too docile. Girls always fell at his feet- how could he respect them? They had no spirit, no fight. Sometimes, when he felt uncomfortable about how he was treating them, he remembered that his father and brother did much worse to their wives and mistresses. Krishna made no promises, because his word was final…so in his mind, his treatment of women was justified, however feeble the excuses actually were.

"Thakur Sahib, apko jaha bhi bhatna hain, bhatiye…apka hi to ghar hai" Jagmohan said nervously.

"Eh, haa, agar tu paise wapis nahi dega, to main aski ghar ho jaey ga!" Sajjin Sigh laughed.

"Waise, ladki ka parivar kahan hain?" Shakti asked, maybe their selection would be better, he thought.

"Wahan hain, majar mujhe nahi pata ki dulhen kaha hai" Jagmohan nodded at the group of people talking to Nitin and his wife.

"Aapko pata nahi hain ki aapke hone wali bahu kaha hai? Kya bakwas! Humare ghar mein to aurat kahi nahi jati agar hum kente nahi hain. Yeh modern log…" Sajjin Singh continued rambling. Krishna rolled his eyes as his father went on another rant and detached himself from the group. Waving at Tunna and Chandu, he decided to go for a walk and clear his mind.

As he went outside, he thought he hear a sound, like someone's anklets were clanging softly. "Am I hearing things? Has boredom driven me mad?" He thought. Shaking his head, he decided to go investigate, may be it will be something interesting.

XXXXXX

When Pratigya and her family arrived at the sagai, they discovered that there were going to be a lot more celebrations than they originally thought, pushing back the time of the sagai. When Pratigya tried to talk to Nitin, she was accosted by her future mother-in-law, who proceeded to terrify the poor girl by telling her all of Nitin's favorite foods, color, songs etc, all she was required to learn and know before the marriage. Pratigya felt like she was at university, and wished she had bought pen and paper to take notes, although she thought her mother-in-law would not appreciate that.

As time went on she got more and more nervous. Now Pratigya had a quirk that had started in university and endured when she graduated. Whenever she had to take a big exam, she used to dance beforehand. The physical exercise would clear her head and make her less nervous…but she couldn't do that here!

"Pratigya…kya hua?" She turned to her best friend Rolli. "Rolli, main bohut nervous ho rahi hoon…mujhe nachne ka maan kar raha hai taki main calm ho jao, magar kaha nacho?

Rolli looked around "Bahar jao, dekho koi badha admi ayya hai, kise koi nahi pata chalega agar tum pachn minute ki liye bahar gai…main bole gi ki tumhe pani pene kay liye jana that. Majar Pratigya, jaldi karo!"

Pratigya nodded and left, just as Jagmohan greeted Sajjin Singh and his sons.

XXXX

Now she was outside, shoes off her feet, twirling on the grass. She was just warming up, and then she would start dancing…luckily the sari was very light and would twirl around her feet as she danced. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and started dancing, letting her feelings free, releasing her nervousness into the wind. She didn't know that someone was watching and that someone was entranced by her…her movements, her face, her free smile and her body. She lost herself in the dance and when she opened her eyes, she saw a very handsome man right in front of her, staring at her. She gasped and stumbled backwards and he caught her in his arms. Looking into his eyes, she lost herself in the passion and intensity they were showing. At the same time, she was afraid- she was out here, alone with a stranger who was holding her. Attractive he may have been, but she had no idea who he was. She started to struggle lightly, trying to free herself, but the arms around her would not bulge. "Suniye, aap kaun hain…hume chod dijeye, hume andar jana hai." Still he continued to look at her, as if she was a gift from the heaven, as she tried to get his attention.

XXXX

Krishna was thunderstruck when he followed the sound of the anklets to see a dancing girl. His mind blanked as he took in her overwhelming beauty…for a few seconds he could not move, as he absorbed the scene in front of him. She was perfect, so beautiful, so delicate, so innocent looking even as she danced. Before he knew it, he was walking in front of her, holding her in his arms. Even as she tried to free herself, even as she tried to talk to him, he couldn't speak. He had never seen anyone so out of this world. Surely, he thought, surely she is a goddess.

XXXXX

Pratigya stopped struggling as his grip loosed and stepped back. "Aap kaun hain?" she asked again. The man looked at her, shook his head and answered "Mere naam Krishna S…Krishna hai…aur apka?"

"Mere nam…"

"Pratigya!" they both turned around to see Rolli looking at them in fright. She went to Pratigya, grabbed her arm and started dragging her back "saab log tumhe dekh rahe hai…kitne der laga li"

"Sorry Roli" Pratigya said, but she could't help but look back. The man was still standing them. Unknown to her, he was smiling a sinister smile "Pratigya…" he said, savoring her name "Aab to tum mere hi hogi. Tum is jahan mein, mere liye ho" Krishna laughed to himself- his life had suddenly gotten a lot more interesting.

AqUaMaRiN thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#17
WoWWW!!!👍🏼👏⭐️👏⭐️👏⭐️ Just finished reading BOTH chapters and I MUST say, ur story-telling style and the story itself is GREAT!!! I'm loving the story so far and Pratigya is really a sweet character here and Krishna the usual monkey-boy, lol!!! But thats alright, as long as there is hope left!😉
Will be waiting for the NEXT update!😃
Edited by limits - 15 years ago
Feefi thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#18
I read both chapters now! Great story! 👏 Update soon!
dkmystery thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#19
just read both the chps! wonderfully written, mate! 👏
Keep it up 😊
kasturika_kashu thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#20
loved it......superb...it soooooooooooooooooooooooo beautifulllllllllllllllll👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
loved krishu's last dialogue...and dnt wry abt his character...i love to see BAD MAN TRANSFORM IN LOVE😉

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