Mumbai Boss Review: Koffee with Farhan-Vidya

Koffee With Karan Season 4 Recap: Farhan Akhtar And Vidya Balan

On the latest episode of Koffee With Karan, Vidya Balan laughed a lot, Farhan Akhtar confirmed that he gets a lot of female attention, and KJo set out to establish for the umpteenth time that he's known everyone (who's anyone) in Bollywood "forever". As a result, the three cracked insider jokes, which they didn't bother to explain, and left the viewer out cold and wondering whether Johar thought this was cocktail hour at his Bandra pad. Seven episodes in, KJo has clearly established this season as the most inane yet, with questions so shallow and pumped full of silly sexual innuendo they make these three look like Kierkegaard in comparison. As always, we sniff out the bullshit factor, rating it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being a crock o' Leprechaun gold, and 1 being honest-to-God sainthood.

Farhan Akhtar Is Good Looking
So good looking in fact that by our clock, Johar devoted a good ten minutes to first establishing that Akhtar is "very good looking to be a director" and that secondly, as would logically follow from that first conclusion, he gets a lot of attention from women. "What's your immediate instinct to it?" Johar asked as if Akhtar was answering a question on solving the global oil crisis. Akhtar brushed it off, saying he was used to it having grown up surrounded by women. "It's not something I get very swayed by," he said, which Balan later confirmed when she demonstrated Akhtar's tepid reaction to female fans.

Vidya Balan Is Definitely Over The Haters Hating On Her Clothing And Weight
Balan, scathingly criticised for her appalling choices at last year's Cannes film fest, showed she clearly hadn't taken anything to heart, choosing the good old long-sleeved blouse that she'd been pilloried for in France. Here though in a black-and-gold sari that enhanced rather than shrouded her entire being, Balan looked pretty darn great, laughing off the criticism. "Now I am amused by it," she said. "I'm literally completely not in touch with what's being said about me. That's the only way I've been able to retain my sanity." Balan also noted that reactions to her weight gain often baffled her, as when she was finally labelled "sexy" after putting on a few kilos for The Dirty Picture.

Karan Johar Really Needs New Questions
Is Johar sleepwalking through his show? Are his producers on vacation? As the season has progressed, KJo's hosting skills have steadily deteriorated, either relying on dredging up incidents from years past, or rehashing questions of the "who are you dating", "who do you find hot" variety, stored just in case he forgets them, on his handy tablet. By far, the worst question of the season though, asked by Johar of nearly all of his guests, has to be "How does it feel to be on Koffee With Karan?". This could either be Johar a) demonstrating the meaning of the word "meta" OR b) trying to fill air time until his guests have to sign their coffee cups and bounce. We're gonna go with choice b.

Sorry Katrina Kaif, It's Official, No One In Bollywood Thinks You Can Act
In the rapid fire round, Johar's favourite question is the one where he asks his guests to rate actors or actresses on their acting ability, with the female crop usually including Priyanka Chopra, Kareena Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Sonam Kapoor and Katrina Kaif. Unfortunately for Kaif, she's scored dead last for pretty much every guest, as she did for both Akhtar and Balan as well. It might be time for Kaif, who hasn't been on KJo's couch since season two, to get her own back (if she's ever invited back). That or just take those damn acting lessons already.

BULLSHIT FACTOR
Vidya Balan 4/10
Farhan Akhtar 3/10
Karan Johar 8/10

Sorry Katrina Kaif, It's Official, No One In Bollywood Thinks You Can Act
In the rapid fire round, Johar's favourite question is the one where he asks his guests to rate actors or actresses on their acting ability, with the female crop usually including Priyanka Chopra, Kareena Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Sonam Kapoor and Katrina Kaif. Unfortunately for Kaif, she's scored dead last for pretty much every guest, as she did for both Akhtar and Balan as well. It might be time for Kaif, who hasn't been on KJo's couch since season two, to get her own back (if she's ever invited back). That or just take those damn acting lessons already.