FF: Adrift Completed Feb 3rd 2014 - Page 14

Awww RK got to knw madhu is alive..

cant really wait to c both their reactions...

plzzz continue soon

"What kind of a justice is this, Biwi?"

Madhu's feet stopped, almost by themselves. She gasped as the recognition of that voice sucked the breath out of her.

It was a risk she knew she was taking when she came to Mumbai, but she had to see her mother. The thought that her mother could die - that too solely because of her - without Madhu seeing her was not something she could live with. All these months, she had somehow stayed away, praying and hoping she would get better. After the initial lapse which had happened while Madhu was herself in the hospital, Padmini had been in a coma all through, unchanging. Even though she didn't want to, at that time "dying" made the most sense for Madhu. She just wanted to escape from everything and everyone. Most of all from herself, she admitted. In hindsight, it was probably a stupid thing to do. But her emotional state at the time was such that she couldn't have stayed. But now, with time having brought some of her strength and sanity back to her, she couldn't not be with her mother, especially when Bittuji told her she was so critical and may never wake up. So she flew in to Mumbai, but didn't get a chance to see her mother yet because RK never left her side. Finally, this morning, Bittuji managed to convince RK to go home for a bit and she had run to her mother's side immediately after. But, from the sound of the voice behind her, it seemed like RK had come back too soon.

Madhu instinctively tightened her hold on the shawl that wrapped most of her face except her eyes, but she couldn't decide what to do. She could run, but RK was sure to chase her. Or she could face him. But what would she say?

She closed her eyes and tried to remember...remember what had brought her here. Remember everything that RK had done to her in order to summon all the hatred she had for him upto the surface and in the eyes. She remembered the half-marriage, the revenge marriage, the insults and the tricks. She remembered RK blaming Madhu for losing their child, for not wanting their child. She remembered RK in Ria's arms, all those pictures in the media about RK and Ria. She remembered the moment she jumped off that cliff.

Anger ran through her veins.

But strong voluntary filters seldom work on memories. Some other, unwanted, memories came to her too, as she stood there, unmoving. Their real-marriage, RK loving her, the joy when she found she was pregnant, RK risking her life for her. Even recent ones - of what Bittuji said about RK, of RK at the orphanage talking about Madhu, of RK sitting by her mother's side crying.

Madhu was struggling to control the unwanted emotions adulterating the appropriate ones, still making up her mind on what to say, when she heard him say again, this time much closer to her

"What kind of a justice is this, Biwi?"

RK held Madhu by the shoulders and gently, but firmly, made her turn, so she was now facing him. So close...after so long...

Madhu willed her anger to rise upto her eyes, but was immediately struck by the man she saw in front of him.

RK's eyes were brimming with tears. His face wore an expression of happiness, relief, pain and guilt at the same time. This wasn't an egoistic, I-want-everything-my-way guy. This man was anguished and defeated.

RK's heart skipped a few beats as he touched Madhu, and as he finally looked into her eyes. This was his Biwi. Maybe not his anymore - he had himself betrayed her and lost her, had he not? Still, it was Madhu. And she was alive. Right in front of her. Where he could touch her and see her.

But her eyes told him what he suspected was the truth now. He had never seen so much coldness, so much hatred, so much pain in them. Not even when he had first forcibly married her, not even when he tricked her into loving him and declared it all a revenge.

But he deserved it. Every bit of it. The anger did not hurt him as much as her pain did, and even that was nothing compared to the joy he felt at learning she was alive.

"What kind of a justice is this, Biwi? How can you punish someone else for another's sins?

Why should you suffer like this...why should your mother suffer in your absence believing you are no more...when you did not do anything...when I am the only sinner, the only murderer...

Why did you not punish me Madhu...why leave me alive and unpunished..."

RK's voice trailed off. His knees felt weak.

"RK..."Madhu started, not knowing what to say. Perhaps I hate you and never want to see you again was enough. But before she could say anything, RK was kneeling down in front of her, no longer having the courage to face her and look into her eyes

"I know Madhu...I know. You don't have to say it. You hate me and never want to see me again. I know. I was a fool for a long time, an ignorant, arrogant idiot. But now I know. I understand how I made your life a living hell. I smothered you with my love. I abandoned you when you needed me. I let people in my home mistreat you. I blamed you for our child's loss. I blamed you for being too successful. I pushed you away from you because I blamed you for everything that was wrong with my life, for all my insecurities..

...God, I shudder to think how badly I broke your heart...that instead of killing me, you preferred to die. You preferred to run away from your whole life and everyone you loved just to get away from me. You, who are the bravest person I know.

I...what did I do Madhu? How did I become...such a monster?"

RK sobbed, breaking down. His words only partially conveyed what he wanted to say. Madhu couldn't hate him half as much as he hated himself. For things that had led to, as well as happened after, Madhu's disappearance.

Madhu stood there, unmoving, without saying anything, but she felt soul-wrenching pain and RK's breakdown was the last thing she had expected. Rk's hands were still on Madhu's body, and she felt them shivering, but could not bring herself to hold him.

A minute passed, and RK seemed to recover. He looked up, stood and said "I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. But you...you shouldn't have faked your death either...you should't suffer like this! People who love you...love...you..shouldn't suffer. I will make this right." RK said, with some determination and held Madhu's hand.

Madhu didn't want to be forced to go back with RK right now. Did he think she could forgive him just like that? She tried to pull her hand away, when a commotion in the corridor distracted both of them.

A lot of people - doctors, nurses, staff - were rushing towards Padmini's room. A few seconds later, Bittuji emerged from the room, calling Madhu. Across the corridor, Madhu's phone rang, but before she could pick up, the ringtone caught Bittuji's attention and he saw Madhu and RK standing right there. He froze, realizing his plans had failed and clearly RK knew everything. A second later, he recovered, trying to focus on what was important.

"Padmini ji...she's crashing" was all he managed to say before RK and Madhu both came running towards him, still holding each other's hands.