He walked closer to her. She moved away. Her heart missing several beats in the process and finally she stood transfixed as he closed the remaining space between them. He entwined his hands with hers, bringing them closer to himself. Her cheeks reddened as he lifted her face gently, looking deep within her eyes. And then something happened which took her breath away.
He smiled.
Had she ever seen him smiling?
No.
Why was he, then?
But it was a sight to behold. She noticed how his smile reached his eyes and his dimples adorning his ruggedly handsome face. She felt static. As if her senses were set to ignition. She had just witnesses the world's most electrifying smile.
Her heart raced as he held her even closer. Their faces almost touching and his warm breath fanning her face.
What was going to happen? She didn't know.
But as his cold fingers made their way to cup her face, she knew exactly what was going to happen. And then it did.
He pressed his lips against hers gently, taking her into a passionate kiss. And yes, her heart stopped.
In plain simple words, it was magical. She felt what she had never felt before.
He deepened the kiss and she responded with much fervor. Her mind was now reeling. Could she have this kiss forever?
Just then she felt someone pull her back.
A distant voice was constantly calling out her name.
She was annoyed. Who the hell was disturbing her at such a crucial moment?
It was only after she felt a violent shake at her shoulder, reality dawned upon her, and she woke from her dream.
Dazed at first, she couldn't differentiate between the reality and where she was just seconds ago.
Things started to make sense only after she opened her eyes to see Asad standing next to her bed. "Holy Shit!... What did I just dream?!", she said to herself as she stirred her head.
She felt dizzy as she looked up to Asad's face, which was staring, blank at her with utter confusion written all over it.
Oh no no no.. Zoya...You Just didn't...YOU DID NOT!!!
Asad was perplexed at Zoya's behavior. First she took a good fifteen minutes to wake up in spite of him constantly yelling at the top of his voice and now she was staring at him with her mouth wide open. What is it she wants? He wondered.
"Why didn't you tell me that you had no plans of waking up? I wouldn't have had to waste so much of my time!" he exclaimed angrily, "Anyways...just get up now, I have called a cab...we are leaving in five minutes".
Asad's words were practically floating above her head as her mind was fixed upon only one thing, her dream.
Oh God Zoya! Stop thinking about it...Dreams are bound to be weird. It's not like you wanted to kiss Asad for real, did you?
"Do you hear me?" Asad shouted in irritation bringing her out of her thoughts.
She noticed how the same mouth that was right now spewing venom at her was kissing her just seconds ago in her fantasy.
Fantasy? Allah Miyan what's wrong with you Zoya? Again you are thinking about it...Forget it. It never happened... You didn't fantasize anything! It was a stupid silly DREAM.
"Err...ya I am listening. You go, I'll just change and come." She slid down the bed as Asad left for the Hotel lobby.
Zoya changed into her salwaar-kameez, which had dried up over the night, and made her way out of the hotel room.
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It had been over fifteen minutes since they left the hotel.
Asad was feeling unusually tired. Probably it was the outing that had drained him completely or the fact that he couldn't get any sleep the whole night. He kept thinking about the things that happened that shouldn't have happened according to him. Thoughts of him and Zoya together were plaguing his mind and he clearly wasn't comfortable with that. He never would sway away, he promised himself.
Zoya couldn't help steal glances at Asad who was sitting just next to her, with his eyes closed and his head resting at the back of the car seat. He was just as he would have been any other day but Zoya refused to believe that this is how he was going to be forever. The Asad she had met in her dreams was nothing close to this cold and heartless man sitting besides her; he was different. He smiled. Even thinking about it made her heart flutter. Will he ever smile like that?
However much she tried, she just couldn't stop thinking and analyzing her dream. It felt like another world when she thought about it. Will it ever be like that? She remembered thinking that they had a chance. Is that true?
She felt sad looking at his sad and tired face. She wondered what must have had happened in his life that made him what he is. Somehow she was sure that he wasn't the real Asad Ahmed Khan. There was definitely something else which had forced him to arrogate a dark and empty life. She felt the sudden urge to pull him out of his miseries. She wanted to help him and be there for him. Why you ask? She herself didn't know.
Zoya was caught up in this strange web. She wanted to get out but at the same time she did not. She hadn't still forgotten how they had been so close the night before. There wasn't any fighting or crying for a change. They were just being, well, normal. Yes, that's it, she thought. It felt normal.
The cab came to a halt as they reached The Khan Villa. However, Asad remained sleeping oblivious of the fact that it was time to go.
Zoya shifted closer to him in order to wake him up but she couldn't. She didn't have the heart to disturb his peaceful slumber. She lifted her hand to his forehead and gently stroked his hair. He indeed looked peaceful. She tenderly grazed her finger on his forehead, easing out the worry lines that had formed. Her heart filled up with the need to free him from whatever it was that had destroyed him. She knew there was something, for sure.
Gathering herself the next moment, she spoke softly,"Mr.Khan, Ghar aa gaya".
She took a second to introspect what she had just said. Ghar. The same house, which was nothing but a cage to her just a day before, suddenly felt like home. But that she would never accept, at least not so soon.
She moved away as Asad woke up and stepped out of the car without even looking at her. Thankful that he hadn't realized what she was doing, Zoya followed him out of the cab.
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The rest of the day went as any other day in Zoya's life. Asad left for office as soon as they returned from the Hotel, leaving Zoya and her thoughts alone.
Zoya effectively busied herself in arranging the things she had bought the day before and also prepped herself for the coming interview.
Of course there were times when her thoughts led her back to the events of the night before but she chose not to hover over them for long. Was she successful?
No, not exactly.
Everything from her dream, the kiss, his smile, their moments in the hotel and at the mall played in a loop in her mind. She couldn't figure out why the hell did she have that dream in the first place? It was beyond her comprehension. She mentally kicked herself a thousand times for being so stupid.
She had two very important things to do the next day. One, she had her interview and two, she had to go and meet Farida Bi finally. All that thinking on her way back in the morning had brought her to a single conclusion; she had to learn the truth. Come what may.
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Tuesday, Morning
"Oh Sheeesh! It already 8:50?" Zoya as usual failed to acknowledge her alarm clock and woke up hours later than planned.
Her interview was scheduled at 10:15 and she only had an hour to get ready and reach the office. "Bloody Hell! I better rush or else I am already fired!"
She quickly took a bath and changed. She had decided to pair the tweed skirt with a white shirt and the black pointy heels she had bought. Stuffing all the necessary items in her Tods tote bag, she dashed to the dining hall.
Asad as usual was sitting and having his breakfast until she barged in.
He noticed her unusual choice of clothes. From what she had told him, he knew that Zoya had an interview the following day. He wasn't very comfortable with her attire but preferred not to interfere anyways. He had to stay away.
"Mr. Khan...Mr.Khan...I need you!" Asad immediately shot her a confused look.
"Shit! I mean I need your help!" Zoya rolled her eyes at her stupidity.
"You told me that you won't bother me again", he said calmly.
"I know...I know...but I am in a soup right now! I am supposed to reach for my interview sharp 10'o clock and its already 9:20. In no way I am going to find a cab this early since I hadn't booked one beforehand, and I will not be able to reach on time! Please... Please be a darling and drop me!" Zoya cringed the moment she finished her sentence.
OMG Zoya! Stop with the Verbal VOMIT!
"Ermm...I didn't mean that...I mean I did..but I did not..." Zoya stuttered nervously. Was she making any sense?
Asad has had it from this girl. He knew that the decision of helping her before was not a good idea. In no way will he again fall for her excuses.
"I don't have any more time to waste. Go and find another alternative." He started to leave but Zoya held back his arm.
"Allah Miyan! Didn't you hear? I don't have any other alternative! Please Mr. Khan just this once! Please!" she begged like a little child.
Asad thought for a second and finally gave in, "Okay"
Zoya almost jumped in happiness," I LOVE YOU Mr.Khan!" Zoya's breathing stopped in horror and the colour of her face faded. What has gotten into her?
"I Do not!...I mean...Shit!."
Asad shut his eyes in irritation and walked out of the main door.
Zoya you are so dead. You just told him that you LOVE him, when you clearly do not.
Allah Miyan What's wrong with me?
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After a thirty- minute silent ride Asad and Zoya had reached the office of Sunrise Daily.
"Thanks again Mr. Khan, I swear this was the last time. Trust me." She opened the car door and stepped out. She turned back to pass him a thankful smile and then walked ahead.
The main office building was a little far from where he had parked the car to drop her, so he stayed back to ensure that she reaches safely.
It was only then he noticed a few men following her and passing comments.
Not wasting another minute, he got out and ran to her side.
"Err...Mr. Khan I thought that you have left. What are you doing here?" Zoya asked him, surprised.
"Didn't you realize that you were being followed?"
"Oh That...Mr.Khan...aise logon ka kya hai...they are everywhere...ab unse dar kar main bhag jaoon kya? Aur waise bhi it's broad daylight...They wouldn't dare to do anything"
Zoya felt her head flutter at Asad's protective gesture. He had come all the way to ensure that she reaches safely! Allah Miyan iss Akdu ko kya ho gaya?!
"Whatever it is...It's not safe like this. From next time book a cab beforehand so that it can get a parking spacein front of the main building. "
She smiled internally as they walked to the building together.
It would be wrong to say that Zoya wasn't nervous for the interview because she was quiet frankly terrified. Considering the fact that this was going to be her first ever, she was shit scared of what lied ahead. As they neared the building, her body started to shake with anxiety.
Allah Miyan, will everything be all right?
They had now reached the main gate and Asad was only turning back to leave when his hand accidently touched Zoya's arm.
"Are you shivering?" he asked, confused as to why was she shaking and looking petrified.
"Ermm...Mr.Khan...It's nothing. Whenever I am nervous...it happens! This is the first time I am going for an interview...I am just scared...you know..."
He stood there for a second, not saying anything, analyzing what Zoya had confessed.
"A..a...don't worry you will be fine" he assured her by looking into her eyes for a moment.
Zoya didn't expect this. Not even in her wildest dreams (minus the one she had the previous morning!) she could have thought that Asad Ahmed Khan would say something so sweet to her.
Zoya hadn't anticipated that a plain simple 'you-will-be-fine' would actually take her nervousness away. But it did. It was as if he really meant it. She will be fine after all. Asad's words brought back her lost confidence and she found her shakiness going away. But was it the words? Or was it the fact that they came from him?
"Thanks, Mr.Khan"
"How will you come back?"
"Haan?" Zoya didn't get him the first time.
"I mean after your interview is over, how will you come back?"
"Oh...ermm...I'll hail a cab I guess."
"Make sure that the cab picks you up from here only. This street is not very safe, you understand?"
"Hmmm..."she said unable to hide her smile.
"And if you still have any problem...you can call me." He left after saying the needful leaving a smiling Zoya behind.
What the hell! Why am I smiling like a fool? He was just being a gentle man...nothing else!
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"Mrs. Khan after this interview with you I am sure of one thing that you are nothing but perfect for what I have in mind. You are so in!", said Divya Dutta, the editor of Sunrise Daily. She wasn't a scary boss like Zoya had thought initially, instead she was a very sweet and not to mention, a very talented young woman.
The interview was going very well and Zoya had already impressed Divya with her many ideas and and talents.
"Thank you Divya! I will try to do my best with your team"
"You won't try! I am sure that you will!", she laughed jokingly," One more thing Zoya...See I have told you that you will be working with my team over the daily editorials but I had this thing in mind for the Paper's lifestyle column. I think you would be perfect for that..."
"But Divya are you sure that I'll be able to handle two things at a time?"
"Of course Zoya! See I know it's too much work considering you are new but that's how I am. I really believe in young talent and trust me you will sail through eventually"
"So what will the column be about?"
"Well it would be a very short bi-weekly written piece by you...about...anything!"
"Anything?"
"Ya...anything...from your random thoughts, to your point of view about the most mundane things in life...about romance...you are getting it, right? And since it would be only twice a week, it won't be that much of a trouble...just a few lines here and there to which people can connect to. It's a new concept...we will see how it fairs out in the long run."
"Thanks Divya for trusting me with all of this. I love the concept! Random Ramblings! Really nice!"
"There it is!"
"What?"
"The title! For days I have been wondering what could be a suitable title for the column and you have just came up with a terrific one! Random Ramblings...by Zoya Khan! How's it?"
"Wow it has a nice ring to it...I am already excited! But Divya make it Random Ramblings by Zoya Farooqui, I prefer it that way."
"As you wish hun! So you are joining tomorrow? I am sure that my team would be ecstatic to meet you!"
"Tomorrow is great and I am equally looking forward to it! Thanks! It was a pleasure to meet you" She stood up and both of them shook hands after which Zoya left to call a cab.
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Thank you Allah Miyan for getting me the job! Thankyou Thankyou thankyou!...bas ab ek madat aur kar dena...Farida bi se jin sawalon ke jawab mein chahti hoon unhe haasil karne mein meri madat karna taki mein apne aur Asad ke halathon ko sudhar paoon...main unki madat karna chahti hoon ...please Allah Miyan...
"Bhaiya ji, take me to the Holy Child Orphanage" she instructed the driver as she stepped inside the cab.
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"Beti tum yahan?" Farida be was surprised to see Zoya enter her orphanage room.
"As-Salaam-Walaikum" Zoya greeted her politely.
"Walaikum Assalam Zoya Begum, kaise aana hua beta?"
"Maaf kijiyega ki main aise bin bataye aa gayi...magar baat hi kuch aisi thi..."
"Yahaan aao..." Farida Bi led her to the settee at the corner of the room and they both sat down. She caressed Zoya's cheeks fondly and gave her blessings.
"I need some answers", she finally let out.
"What answers beta?"
"I want to know about Asad...his past...and you are the only person who knows his family Farida bi...Please free me from my miseries...I really need your help"
Farida Bi knew this was coming. Sooner or later she knew that Asad's wife would not be able to cope up with everything and demand answers. "Don't worry beta...tell me what do you want to know?"
"Everything. I want to know everything. He told me that he wouldn't accept this marriage nor would he ever be able to accept me as his wife. Aap hi bataiye main kya karoon? He doesn't talk. Everything about him is so different! He wants me to go back and end this marriage...but I won't be able to. Not until I have a reason...I don't believe in breaking relationships..." Zoya's voice had started to break as her eyes poured out her dilemma.
Farida remained quiet for a moment. "Zoya Beti...I knew this would happen from the time Dilshaad arranged Asad's marriage with you. I have lived with the family for three years and have known them from even before...I know what they have faced. It's not his fault beta...Life has been really cruel to him..."
"Mujhe janna hai"
"When Asad was a little child, his abbu passed away leaving him and his family alone. Who tab se hi aisa tha. Shaant, suljha hua...Dilshaad kehti thi ki use samajhna bilkul namumkin hai. As he grew up, he took all the responsibilities of his family on his shoulders. Usne kafi mehnat se yeh shohrat kamaiye hai...In Asad's and Dilshaad's empty life there was only one ray of sunshine, Najma"
Zoya had never heard this name before. Najma?
"Najma?"
"Haan Najma. Asad's sister."
Zoya couldn't understand what she meant by Asad's sister. If he had one then where was she now?
"When Raashid , Asad's father passed away, Najma was only two. Naturally she was protected from all the sorrows that the family faced. Bahut hasmukh ladki thi Najma. She lit up their worlds! I remember how Asad used to treat her like a princess. Puri duniya mein Asad ko sirf wo hi samajhti thi. They had a unique bond...She was the reason why they smiled...Asad loved her like his own daughter..."
"Where is she now?"
"She is no more...she committed suicide three years back..."
"What? Why?"
"Nobody knows that except Asad and Dilshaad. A year before Najma passed away she got married to a boy she met in college, Imran. Asad was apprehensive of marrying her off at such a tender age but finally gave in to his sister's wishes. Both Najma and Imran loved each other a lot and led a happy married life until the news of her death came. They said that she suffered through depression and hence decided to end her life...I don't know the exact truth beta but I know how broken Asad was. He was distraught...his life ended with her...He blames himself for her death and so did Dilshaad for reasons know to them...I don't know anything else Zoya..."
Zoya was shaken after learning the truth of Asad's past life, "But why does Asad blame himself? And Dilshaad ammi? Why would she blame her own child?"
"I told you beta...I don't know. I only know one thing that after Najma's death Dilshad blamed Asad. For two years she didn't even talk to him. He was all alone..."
Zoya was shocked. She wasn't expecting this. Why would a mother blame her own child?
"But after all these years something happened that changed Dilshaad's view...I don't know what but it did...Dilshaad tried a lot but she couldn't convince Asad that it wasn't his fault. Zoya beta, Now it is for you to find out what happened that Asad blames himself for Najma's demise...Until and unless you know the full truth...you cannot help him. I know for one that jo kuch bhi hai...Asad gunehgar nahin hai. Asad kabhi bhi apni behen ka bura nahin chah sakta tha. I have seen how helpless he has become...It is only you who can help him Zoya..."
Her mind was spinning. Asad Ahmed Khan blames himself for his sister's death, magar kyun?
"How will I find out the truth?"
"Beta ab sacchai tho tumhe sirf Asad hi bata sakta hai...main dua karoongi ki tum kamyab ho...Don't forget one thing Zoya. Asad is a very good man. He has never had people who loved him because sooner or later, they all left him alone. Don't disappoint him again. I know that he will not accept you in his life easily, but you have to try, not because you are his wife but because you are the only one who can put an end to his desolation"
Everything made sense to her now. Asad was a man whose very foundation was shaken when his family left him. He had no support, no shoulder to cry on, nothing. He was and is alone. It would be wrong to say that Zoya knew what it was like to feel that you are the reason for someone's death, but she surely understood.
Zoya wiped her tears and stood up to leave, "Shukriya Farida Bi...agar aap nahin hote tho main hamesha andhere mein hi rehti...shukriya" She bent down to kiss her forehead.
"Meri duyaein hamesha tum dono ke saath hai...Allah kare ki tum dono ke sara gham mit jaayein...aur tum hamesha...ek saath...khush raho"
Zoya smiled at her as she headed outside.
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Through out the journey back home Zoya kept thinking of the recent revelations that had been made to her. She was beginning to understand Asad now. Her stomach churned as she thought about the things he had faced in life. Her own sorrows felt so small.
She vowed that she would find out the full truth one day and until then she would hold his back. She would support him and be there for him, as a wife, as a friend. She was still unsure what would be the fate of their relationship but that was the least of her priorities right now. At the moment she knew only one thing, she had to help Asad. How? She didn't know but she was sure that once the right time comes, she would definitely find a way.
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Zoya reached home around six after spending hours at the park nearby to clear her thoughts. She needed that alone time after all.
She saw Asad's car parked in and that told her that he was home. Strange.
She had thought that Asad would never know that she was out all this time since he hardly got back before nine. But today he was way early.
She entered her room and quickly changed into a pale blue kurti and salwaar. The first thing on her mind was to cook something for both of them. She was sure that Asad wouldn't have eaten since morning.
She was only walking towards the kitchen when she heard something break. Judging that the noise came from Asad's room, she rushed to him.
She found himself lying on the ground with bottles of alcohol scattered on the floor, one of which had broken. From the looks of it, Asad seemed almost out of consciousness, thanks to the excessive consumption of alcohol.
After she had cleared up the scattered pieces of glass on the floor, she moved away the bottles out of his reach.
She then went on to sit besides him on the rug where he laid. Asad has had too much that day, so much, that he was hardly able to think. She wiped his sweaty face with her dupatta and made him drink some water. Asad on sensing the presence of someone besides him started mumbling random things that at first made no sense to her but on listening close, Zoya understood.
"Everyone leaves...", he said as tears made their way to his eyes. Zoya stroked his back in order to comfort him but he continued, "Main sabka gunehgar hoon..."
Farida Bi was right when she said he blamed himself.
She cupped his face and said softly, " Aaap kisi ke gunehgaar nahin hain...". To which he replied," Nahin...main sabka...sabka gunehgar hoon...tumhara bhi" Zoya looked into his eyes as his words translated into their meaning. So, He does feel guilty for me.
Seeing him breakdown like that broke her heart and she couldn't help herself when she took him in her arms in a warm embrace. She wanted to erase his pain away right that moment.
She stroked his hair as he cried in her arms. "Shh...", she hushed him to stop crying.
Zoya held him close to herself in an effort to make him feel safe. And he did. Even though Asad wasn't in his right state of mind, the feeling of having someone so close soothed him. She didn't let go until his breathing regained normalcy and his trembling body relaxed.
As he withdrew himself from her embrace, Zoya noticed how devastated he looked. His eyes were blood-shot read and he looked tired. Tired of fighting alone. Her heart went out for him and she couldn't hold back her tears. Without giving it a second thought, she went on to kiss his forehead and cupped his face ever so lovingly.
"I will make things better for you...", she choked back her tears, "I Promise..." And then engulfed him in her arms to pacify her own distressed soul.
She helped him lie down with his head on her lap. She stroked his hair as he slept peacefully; unaware of the situation they were in. Within no time she herself gave into sleep, a certain feeling of contentment reaching her heart as they lied close to each other,leaving all their worries behind, at least for the moment.
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So How was it?Do leave me some love!
And A Merry Berry Christmas in advance!đ¤
Ps. PMs Later!
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