Posted:
Hum pe ye kisne petrol ka mug daala...
Bina maachis ke humein jalaa daala , jalaa daala, jalaa daala...
🤣
Poor Jodha . Self-worth, abhimaan, swabhimaan aur pataa nahiin kaun kaun sa maan ke naam pe bechaari ne kya-kya nahiin khodaa. Now, phalling , in love with Jalaal, lekin Burinazar churaana chaahti hai Jodha ki mohabbat ka Bonsai podha,😭
Well, well, lets count on our fingerprints that aaj Jodha ki kis-kis ne kitni bajaayi aur lagaayi ...
1. Jalaal
No attention. Tez-kataar nazrein and absolute disdain in the court. Jaa Chudail, nahin dekhta main tujhe...
2. Motibai ( Someone tell this rookie actress that BENZER is a brand , not Burinazar's name) .
So many underhand taane to Jodha in hamaam that looking at Jodha's fuming anger and jealousy , hamaam poora microwave oven ban gayaa tha. She delivered to Jodha what the forum was discussing. Gussa issliye nahin hai ki Shahenshah se taqleef hai, itnaa paani issliye ubal rahaa hai kyunki Jalaal par Fundamental Right chhaapne ke iraada hai.
3. Burinazar
Uff! If you could kill someone with Taanon-Ke-Teer , toh BuriNazar ne aaj Jodha ka qatl hi kar denaa tha. Burinazar insulted the life out of Jodha in the most tehzeebdaar manner and you have to hand it to this Kabul import. The woman is magician of words . Chappal maarti bhi hai to Chinese Silk mein lapet ke. She pushed Jodha to such an extent that Jodha ka bhi frustrated Beep Mode on ho gayaa, See, Bhaiseena, i told you yesterday itself. Jodha hates the sight of Burinazar . She behaves like Ruqqu with Burinazar... haaye , haaye, kya sahee line maari thi aaj Maaham ne - Jalan ka asar duniya ka sabse badaa asar hai. But comparing Burinazar with a white pigeon? Abe Myopia ki patient! Theek se dikhta nahin tujhe? Burinazar is a hawk , koi kabootri nahin hai woh... and what the hell is this Burinazar? You have a secret girl-crush on Jodha? Just curious.
4. Precap...
Jallaad Jodha! Nirdayee, nirlajj, baby Daayan! ... Burinazar was duboying and you were wishing that she dubofies? Where was all your Karuna, Dayaa, Sanwednaa and all the other sahelis? ... Badee Compassion ki Painting banee phirti ho, uss bechaari Burinazar pe no taras aaying? Jalaal ko dekho. Paani mein aise kooda jaise khud doob rahaa hai... Jaago Jodha jaago! Tum holier-than-thou insaaf ki moorti ho. Jaao Burinazar ko ek kambal do!
Phew! Petrol... Mobil Oil... Diesel... Kerosene... ek saath jal jaayein toh bhi aaj Jodha ko kaampetition nahin de sakte the. Poor Jodha has actually started believing in her hindbrain that Jalaal is her sole property ...issliye khunkhaar Baaghin banee Agra Fort ko National Park samajh ke yahaan wahaan dahaadhti phir rahee hai... But this EGO! Jalaal ise dobara zinda jalaane ki dhamkee bhi de de , toh bhi nahin maanegi that she wants Jalaal's bun in her oven. WOMEN!
And this Jalaal? " Hum apni beizzati ka badla soot samet lenge"... Chapped maar ke teri naak todh doon main? Abey, Saleem ke honne waale Nikamme Abbu! Jab MOOL hi nahin hai toh SOOT kahaan se paida karega? Isshtupid. Tansen ne ittna gyaan dekke tujhe aur humein pakaaya aur tere ko jucch samajh nahin aaya? PADHNA LIKHNAA SEEKHO O MEHNAT KARNE WAALON!
And Maaham? KOI MUJHE GOLI MAAR DO YA DIALOGUE COPY KO KAAT DO! I love Ashwini and Maaham too... but her scene with Reshami-Salwaar-Kurta-Jaali-Ka was not needed. Her chingham-chabaa-ke stretched scene with Jalaal should have been shortened by the director.Even Ashwini could have done it coz she is a kickasss veteran. Pakaa diyaa mujhe aaj yaar.
Anyway, apart from Jodha's Jal-Kukdi mode, one moment stood out for me. Jalaal raising a finger at Maaham with a deeply hurt and mortified look on his face when she tried to poke into his Jodha wound- DON'T STEP THERE, said his face. Wow.
P.S- I am very jealous of this show's director and creatives! How come I don't know the art and craft of taking a bath in a bathtub with all my clothes on and Jodha does? MUJHE INSAAF CHAAHIYE!😭
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