18/12 - City of Self - Page 5

Originally posted by: dsr11

agree samridhi. everyone has opinions. in my opinion the word 'redeem' is silly when it comes to marital relationship. once 'redeem' comes into play 'love' is lost. just like 'love' i feel that 'abuse' is also relative😕. perception changes from person to person, gender to gender.

'accept' is what complements 'love'. if aastha loves shlok, she would accept him. ofcourse shlok should be acceptable enough - less of a monster and more of a human. for now he is and thats my opinion.

Originally posted by: prc_fan1

I don't think that abuse is a relative word at all. It is a very objective word with a clearly defined meaning, in its normal usage as well as in the ambits of the law. Unlike love.

We are constantly using the word 'redeem' not for the relationship, really but for Shlok as a character who has crossed all limits in torturing her. I do agree with you that 'accept' complements 'love' but really should Astha accept all that he's been doing to her & has done to her? Why should she do that in the name of love? She doesn't deserve such treatment. I would really like to know what is it about Shlok that makes you see more as a human than a monster.

Originally posted by: dsr11

I still maintain that definition of abuse depends on people involved. my mother used to hit me when i was a child and i don't consider it abuse. i actually love my mother. i resort to corporal punishment too sometimes with my own kids, they are too little to understand about dependence and attachment, they genuinely love me. me and my brother used to fight with each other physically as kids really badly. but we still love each other. i may not like to be hit by an xyz person walking on the street. so from relationship to relationship, person to person definition of abuse changes. pushing and shoving when one is angry at another doesn't come into physical violence category for me. i consider violent battering or repetitive battering as physical abuse.

i really don't think shlok is physically abusive till now. He gets physical once in a while but his behaviour is not abusive in my view. Other things abusers do is to cause shame to the victim and alienate her from her loved ones. Shlok didn't do those things. What Aastha is facing is a mild case of emotional abuse. His motive behind saying mean things seems to be to instigate than to take away her self worth to me. Since Aastha is strong enough to fight back, i am ok with it.

Aastha should accept him if and only if she loves him. there is no question of deserving or not deserving. it is about what she wants.

Anybody can be a monster including you and me. if i want to kill a person i can do that but i don't. that's the difference between a monster and a human. If he wants to cause humiliation to Aastha, he can but he didn't. If he wants to sleep with Aastha, he can but he didn't. Shlok is still in the human category for me, may be flawed but still human.

Originally posted by: lachii

loved it rekha

loved it

yes abuse or love or whatever

emotions and treatments cannit be defined absolutely...anything related to human psychology cannot be defined absolutely

whats defined in law is "situations"

some situations, some menifstations can be clearly defined as love. hate, abuse , sorrow etc but there is always some anbiguity and that is why the rules in the jurisdictions keep on evolving

yes and acceptance depends on the person and his view of relation, his strength, tolerance or will

that's why no one can decide for you in the matters of relations. you are the best judge of your relations...

that is why self done is well done bcz you and only you understand what and why you are doing somethin

human psychology can not be defined absolutely

Originally posted by: prc_fan1

Rekha, just because Astha for instance did not see Shlok slapping her as abuse, it does not mean it is not abuse. When we look at abuse, we look at it objectively & put aside our feelings for that person & simply look at the act. Based on Shlok's actions, he is no less of an abuser than Niranjan or Abhay just because he did not use a stick. You don't see your parents hitting you as abuse because you took into account their feelings that they hit you to probably correct you but is still some form of abuse nonetheless.

Mere ill-treatment can be recognised as abuse.

Coming to whatever that's been happening with Avdoot its been made clear that Shlok is behind it so how can you say that he is not alienating her from her family. If mot for NA's approval (nod) Shlok might not have taken Astha to see her family.

Yes it is Astha's choice to accept him or not. But don't you think it will send out a very wrong message if she does especially since this is meant to be a drama with a message?

So should we wait for Shlok to be at his extreme self eg.sleeping with her to make him unredeeemable (i.e a monster)?

Originally posted by: dsr11

I still maintain that definition of abuse depends on people involved. my mother used to hit me when i was a child and i don't consider it abuse. i actually love my mother. i resort to corporal punishment too sometimes with my own kids, they are too little to understand about dependence and attachment, they genuinely love me. me and my brother used to fight with each other physically as kids really badly. but we still love each other. i may not like to be hit by an xyz person walking on the street. so from relationship to relationship, person to person definition of abuse changes. pushing and shoving when one is angry at another doesn't come into physical violence category for me. i consider violent battering or repetitive battering as physical abuse.

i really don't think shlok is physically abusive till now. He gets physical once in a while but his behaviour is not abusive in my view. Other things abusers do is to cause shame to the victim and alienate her from her loved ones. Shlok didn't do those things. What Aastha is facing is a mild case of emotional abuse. His motive behind saying mean things seems to be to instigate than to take away her self worth to me. Since Aastha is strong enough to fight back, i am ok with it.

Aastha should accept him if and only if she loves him. there is no question of deserving or not deserving. it is about what she wants.

Anybody can be a monster including you and me. if i want to kill a person i can do that but i don't. that's the difference between a monster and a human. If he wants to cause humiliation to Aastha, he can but he didn't. If he wants to sleep with Aastha, he can but he didn't. Shlok is still in the human category for me, may be flawed but still human.

Originally posted by: dsr11

my mother hit me when i survived a fire accident. because she was worried. then she cried. people do such things when they are terrified. I view shlok's slap that way. I don't consider it as abuse. Aastha slapped Shlok many more times later.

I will tell you a secret. I slapped my husband once when i was really angry at him. He still loves me. people are not always perfect. they get carried away sometimes depending on their basic nature. mothers don't take child psychology classes before having kids. I don't think they enjoy hitting their kids. they just want to raise them properly.

I am not Aastha. I am viewing it as an outsider and I see the difference between Shlok and the other two.

Regarding Shlok's hand in torturing Avdhoot, we still don't know the details to rush into a conclusion. I have serious doubts regarding Shlok really listening to his father.😆 He took her home when avdhoot was sick, didn't he? We should definitely wait until Shlok is proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt before judging him too harshly.

the only message i expect from the show is that women should stand up for themselves. each in her own way. i don't expect all the couples having same fate. it doesn't work that way.

Originally posted by: prc_fan1

Agree with you on this. Point noted. But I would still maintain that I would not like Astha giving Shlok another chance & remaining with him especially since she is the one who is supposed to help Anjali, Jyoti escape.