Bigg Boss ke ghar mein Inspector Waghmaare

Cotswolds thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1

Damn you Sofia!! Inspector Waghmaare muttered under breath and entered BB7 house with trepidation to arrest Armaan. His first encounter with Armaan was so nerve-wracking that he was under medical supervisions for few days.

He looked at his lethargic, bulky assembly of 20 constables and nodded in despair. These men while expert at dispersing a crowd of handful of old women activists, instilling fear in a pickpocket of KRK built or successfully coercing voluntary money gifts from traffic violators, were as ill prepared for the task as Ajaaz for GRE/Toefel exam.

Armaan was engaged in his customary, highly abusive, loud verbal spat with Kushal.Kushal with his weak mumblings seemed like a lost man fighting a heavily armoured enemy with a paper knife.

Armaan's vocabulary and highly defamatory creative expressions made Inspector painfully aware of his own limitations. Avid fan of Dharmendra, Inspector never progressed beyond age-old, now ineffective Kutte/Kameene type insults and being vegetarian, drinking blood was totally off limits.

A mere glance at Armaan was enough for Waghmaare's intrepid army to take to heels.
Desolate Waghmaare, resigned to his fate, begged for Armaan's attention. "Hello Armaanji. How are you ? Can I have a word with you ?"
"Abe tu fir se aa gayaa.Acchaa hua. Kushal, ab is chutiye Inspector ke saamne aisa maroonga ke naani yaad aayegi." Armaan growled.

Inspector was still struggling as to how to react to being called chutiya, when Tanisha spoke into his ears, all smiling..

"Hello Inspector, we meet again. Nice to see you. Let's not interrupt Armaan's daily exercise. We will sit there in the shade. Armaan is aready done insulting Kushal's looks, aukat and parents. He will join us shortly after few insults to Kushal's grandparents. Nowadays he does not wander too far in anyone's lineage. Please have some coffee."
Waghmaare was badly in need of some coffee, but recoiled with horror when he realised that it was Armaan's mug and politely declined the offer.
Armaan soon joined them, all content. "Sorry Inspector. Woh aadmi dimaag ki dahi bana deta hain.Aaj chod diya. Next time saath me maarenge."
Waghmaare ignored Armaan's generous offer. "Well... A serious news for you Armaanji. Sofia has filed FIR against you that you hit her and you will have to accompany us to police station."
Tanisha was indignant. "Its unbelievable that you are arresting him for that mentally derailed phenomenon. She even speaks like "Main yahan GAYA, Ye KHAYA". for God's sake Inspector. She is confused of her own gender and you rush here on her complaint ? Please talk to Salman. He will tell you ke Armaan kahanse aaye hain or kaunsi family ke hain."
Waghmaare:Well, we have also seen CCTV footage.
Armaan:ok.So just because someone complained and you found substantial, irrefutable proof, you came to arrest me ? Unbelievable.. Is this Mauritius or what ?

Waghmaare was not sure what else Armaan wants. "Armaanji, it's pretty serious. She showed her red, swollen bruise."
"Bullshit Inspector!!" Armaan thundered. "Do you know that Sofia pushed me. It still hurts in the chest. Ofcourse there are no visible marks, but I feel the wound has run down deep and I am in a serious medical condition. Do you know I have a very sensitive skin ?"
Waghmaare was surprised as he always though Armaan as a thick-skinned person.

"My skin does not heal quick. I still have scars from past. Look at this one on my hand from college days, when I was assaulted by a bunch of college students after I molested their girlfriends. Or look at this one in the back from last year when I was beaten by a cop merely for trying to kiss his wife in a drunken stupor. I have lot more scars in places which I can not reveal infront of camera."
"I know Armaan. Those ones are real nasty ones." Tanisha agreed.
"How does she know.." Few questions are best left unasked to remain unscarred. Waghmaare decided.

Tanisha continued. "And will you believe a small actress of a single flop show or superstar Armaan with 17 consecutive super-flop movies to his credit, a record soon to be registered in Limca book ?"
Waghmaare:Well.. You have been charged under section 509 for an act to outrage modesty of a woman.
"But Inspector" Tanisha intervened. "I dont really understand. What abuse ? Armaan has always kept his choicest insults, tanstrums only for me. He never shared them with anyone else. I will always treasure them" Tanisha said proudly.
Armaan:What insults ? Have you seen her lips which cover 90% of her face ? Am I wrong in calling her shitty, ugly,stupid,lesbian,psychopath, bitch ? Is this an insult ? You are a fair person. You tell me.
Waghmaare was now in a fix as he could not openly call it an insult fearing his own safety. He decided to dodge by adding.. "You know she has also charged you with sexual harassment under section 304.."

"Now really, Isnt that something.." Tanisha let out a sarcastic laugh. "She always had a thing for Armaan. He never showed interest in her and why should he when someone more gorgeous, prettier is only at a breath's distance." Tanisha blushed and prompted Armaan.
"Yes. We already have pretty girls like Gauhar, Prats. Why should I go after Sofia ?" Tanisha's face fell.
Armaan continued.."Tanisha will concur that Gauhar is the most gorgeous one in the house. But I hardly notice her slender, graceful figure in sleeveless, v-necked, Calvin skirt with printed yellow flowers and matching heels. She looks damn hot,stunning,chic but I dont care.."
Tanisha noticed saliva running down from the corner of Armaan's mouth and hurried to wipe it with a tissue.
"I am sorry but this is judicial matter and you will have to accompany me."
Armaan was a tough case and was not ready to accompany him to police station.
Waghmaare decided to use his trumpcard Dolly Bindra, who exposed Armaan in Mauritius and only one who put scare in him.
"Well Armaanji. No rush. Dollyji will be arriving soon. I am sure you will enjoy meeting her."

"Haath jodta hoon panv padta hoon, Galti hui to maaf karna. Aukat me rehana bas.Inspector saab, I am a law abiding citizen. If you need me in police station, I will come immediately." Armaan was already at the gate and Inspector Waghmaare atlast smiled.

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Edited by Cotswolds - 12 years ago

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yellowflower thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
You are simply awesome. You really deserve to be published. I would totally buy your book. 👏
Cotswolds thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: yellowflower

You are simply awesome. You really deserve to be published. I would totally buy your book. 👏

Thank you very much yellowflowerji for your kind words. If I ever publish a book, I will not forget to send you a complimentary one. 😛
gopiManchurian thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Cotswolds

Damn you Sofia!! Inspector Waghmaare muttered

He looked at his lethargic, bulky assembly of 20 constables and nodded in despair. These men while expert at dispersing a crowd of handful of old women activists, instilling fear in a pickpocket of KRK built or successfully coercing voluntary money gifts from traffic violators, were as ill prepared for the task as Ajaaz for GRE/Toefel exam.

...

Tanisha was indignant. "Its unbelievable that you are arresting him for that mentally derailed phenomenon. She even speaks like "Main yahan GAYA, Ye KHAYA". for God's sake Inspector. She is confused of her own gender and you rush here on her complaint ? Please talk to Salman. He will tell you ke Armaan kahanse aaye hain or kaunsi family ke hain."
Waghmaare:Well, ...

"Bullshit Inspector!!" Armaan thundered. "Do you know that Sofia pushed me. It still hurts in the chest. Ofcourse there are no visible marks, but I feel the wound has run down deep and I am in a serious medical condition. Do you know I have a very sensitive skin ?"
Waghmaare was surprised as he always though Armaan as a thick-skinned person.

"My skin does not heal quick. I still have scars from past. Look at this one on my hand when I was assaulted by a bunch of college student after I molested their girlfriends. Or look at this one in the back when I was beaten by a cop simply becasue I tried to kiss his wife in a drunken stupor. I have lot more scars in places which I can not reveal infront of camera."
"I know Armaan. Those ones are real nasty ones." Tanisha agreed.
"How does she know.." Few questions are best left unasked. Waghmaare decided.

"But Inspector" Tanisha intervened. "I dont really understand. What abuse ? Armaan has always kept his choicest insults, tanstrums only for me. He never shared them with anyone else. I will always treasure them" Tanisha said proudly.
Armaan:What insults ? Have you seen her lips which cover 90% of her face ? Am I wrong in calling her shitty, ugly,stupid,lesbian,psychopath, bitch ? Is this an insult ? You are a fair person. You tell me.
...
Armaan continued.."Tanisha will concur that Gauhar is the most gorgeous one in the house. But I hardly notice her slender, graceful figure in sleeveless, v-necked, Calvin skirt with printed yellow flowers and matching heels. She looks damn hot,stunning,chic but I dont care.."
Tanisha noticed saliva running down from the corner of Armaan's mouth and hurried to wipe it with a tissue.
"I am sorry...

"Inspector saab, I am a law abiding citizen. If you need me in police station, I will come immediately." and Inspector Waghmaare atlast smiled.



Aap ko saashtaang dandwat pranaam hai! _/\_

🤣
Cotswolds thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: gopiManchurian



Aap ko saashtaang dandwat pranaam hai! _/\_

🤣

Pai lagoo gopimanchurianji. 😆
Thanks for enjoying the post and highlighting.. 😊
giakabir thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#6
Again a brilliant post 👏
Is writing just a hobby or are you in the same line of work too? Please sent me a complimentary copy too. 😊
Cotswolds thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: giakabir

Again a brilliant post 👏
Is writing just a hobby or are you in the same line of work too? Please sent me a complimentary copy too. 😊

😆 Thanks giakabirji. I promise to send a copy. Glad that I have a confirmed readership of 2. 😉
I wrote few posts because I found bb7 more interesting than rest seasons on many levels.
Cotswolds thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: ramjaane

simply hilarious , brilliant.

Thanks ramjaaneji for enjoying the pst. 😊
Cotswolds thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9
Thanks 😊
MsCeylon thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Cotswolds

Damn you Sofia!! Inspector Waghmaare muttered under breath and entered BB7 house with trepidation to arrest Armaan. His first encounter with Armaan was so nerve-wracking that he was under medical supervisions for few days.

He looked at his lethargic, bulky assembly of 20 constables and nodded in despair. These men while expert at dispersing a crowd of handful of old women activists, instilling fear in a pickpocket of KRK built or successfully coercing voluntary money gifts from traffic violators, were as ill prepared for the task as Ajaaz for GRE/Toefel exam.

He tried to imagine vicious mop-stick weilding Armaan, resisting arrest, surrounded by elite squad with mere guns for defence and his heart skipped a beat.

Armaan was engaged in his customary, highly abusive, loud verbal spat with Kushal.Kushal with his weak mumblings seemed like a lost man fighting a heavily armoured enemy with a paper knife.

Armaan's vocabulary and highly defamatory creative expressions made Inspector painfully aware of his own limitations. Avid fan of Dharmendra, Inspector never progressed beyond age-old, now ineffective Kutte/Kameene type insults, so obviously drinking blood was totally off limits.
A mere glance at Armaan was enough for Waghmaare's army to desert him quicker than Sara khan dropping Ali after bigg boss.
Waghmaare, now left alone, resigned to his fate, begged for Armaan's attention. "Hello Armaanji. How are you ? Can I have a word with you ?"
"Abe tu fir se aa gayaa.Acchaa hua. Kushal, ab is chutiye Inspector ke saamne aisa maroonga ke naani yaad aayegi." Armaan growled.

Inspector was still struggling as to how to react to being called chutiya, when Tanisha spoke into his ears, all smiling..

"Hello Inspector, we meet again. Nice to see you. Let's not interrupt Armaan's daily exercise. We will sit there in the shade. Armaan has already sown seeds of doubts over Kushal's aukat, shared his valuable views on Kushal's looks and parents. He will join us as soon as he is done with Kushal's grandparents. Nowadays he does not wander too deep in anyone's lineage. Please have some coffee."
Waghmaare was badly in need of some coffee, but recoiled with horror when he realised that it was Armaan's mug and politely declined the offer.
Armaan soon joined them, all content. "Sorry Inspector. Woh aadmi dimaag ki dahi bana deta hain.Aaj chod diya. Next time saath me maarenge."
Waghmaare ignored Armaan's generous offer. "Well... A serious news for you Armaanji. Sofia has filed FIR against you that you hit her and you will have to accompany us to police station."
Tanisha was indignant. "Its unbelievable that you are arresting him for that mentally derailed phenomenon. She even speaks like "Main yahan GAYA, Ye KHAYA". for God's sake Inspector. She is confused of her own gender and you rush here on her complaint ? Please talk to Salman. He will tell you ke Armaan kahanse aaye hain or kaunsi family ke hain."
Waghmaare:Well, we have also seen CCTV footage.
Armaan:ok.So just because someone complained and you found substantial, irrefutable proof, you came to arrest me ? Unbelievable.. Is this Mauritius or what ?

Waghmaare was not sure what else Armaan wants. "Armaanji, it's pretty serious. She showed her red, swollen bruise."
"Bullshit Inspector!!" Armaan thundered. "Do you know that Sofia pushed me. It still hurts in the chest. Ofcourse there are no visible marks, but I feel the wound has run down deep and I am in a serious medical condition. Do you know I have a very sensitive skin ?"
Waghmaare was surprised as he always though Armaan as a thick-skinned person.

"My skin does not heal quick. I still have scars from past. Look at this one on my hand when I was assaulted by a bunch of college students after I molested their girlfriends. Or look at this one in the back when I was beaten by a cop merely for trying to kiss his wife in a drunken stupor. I have lot more scars in places which I can not reveal infront of camera."
"I know Armaan. Those ones are real nasty ones." Tanisha agreed.
"How does she know.." Few questions are best left unasked. Waghmaare decided.

Tanisha continued. "And will you believe a small actress of a single flop show or superstar Armaan with 17 consecutive super-flop movies to his credit, a record soon to be registered in Limca book ?"
Waghmaare:Well.. You have been charged under section 509 for an act to outrage modesty of a woman.
"But Inspector" Tanisha intervened. "I dont really understand. What abuse ? Armaan has always kept his choicest insults, tanstrums only for me. He never shared them with anyone else. I will always treasure them" Tanisha said proudly.
Armaan:What insults ? Have you seen her lips which cover 90% of her face ? Am I wrong in calling her shitty, ugly,stupid,lesbian,psychopath, bitch ? Is this an insult ? You are a fair person. You tell me.
Waghmaare was now in a fix as he could not openly call it an insult fearing his own safety. He decided to dodge by adding.. "You know she has also charged you with sexual harassment under section 304.."

"Now really, Isnt that something.." Tanisha let out a sarcastic laugh. "She always had a thing for Armaan. He never showed interest in her and why should he when someone more gorgeous, prettier is only at a breath's distance." Tanisha blushed and prompted Armaan.
"Yes. We already have pretty girls like Gauhar, Prats. Why should I go after Sofia ?" Tanisha's face fell.
Armaan continued.."Tanisha will concur that Gauhar is the most gorgeous one in the house. But I hardly notice her slender, graceful figure in sleeveless, v-necked, Calvin skirt with printed yellow flowers and matching heels. She looks damn hot,stunning,chic but I dont care.."
Tanisha noticed saliva running down from the corner of Armaan's mouth and hurried to wipe it with a tissue.
"I am sorry but this is judicial matter and you will have to accompany me."
Armaan was a tough case and not ready to budge. Now he was bored with the conversation with Waghmaare and was planning to retire for siesta with Tanisha. Waghmaare prayed and prayed and had a brain-wave - Naram-Garam movie and then Dolly Bindra, the lady who exposed Armaan in Mauritius and the only person he is really scared of.
"Well Armaanji. There is no rush. Finish your nap. Dollyji will be arriving by then. I am sure you will enjoy meeting her."
"Haath jodta hoon panv padta hoon, Galti hui to maaf karna. Aukat me rehana bas." Armaan let out his apology.
Waghmaare by now who has learnt his apology by heart, waited patiently to hear more magical words which soon came out.
"Inspector saab, I am a law abiding citizen. If you need me in police station, I will come immediately." and Inspector Waghmaare atlast smiled.



OMG I couldn't stop laughing at all
too good
very entertaining post
it was really refreshing to see humor in a post when the forum is full of bashing posts on one HM or the other...
I seriously consider all the HMs to be a bunch of clowns put together to keep us entertained so do keep the humor coming in...

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