Chapter 8 "I trust you Chief." Bittuji said after a pause. "But I cannot take you to Bhabhiji."
"Bhabhiji...your wife...she is dead."
RK was stunned. The world stopped revolving. The tears streaming down RK's cheeks froze. RK's heart stopped. Everything ceased to exist the moment RK heard those words. RK's knees gave away, and he almost fell, but Bittuji caught him.
"Chief...chief..."
RK looked up at Bittuji, seemingly recovering from the shock. In a wave of anger, he lashed back at Bittuji, his arms randomly pushing back Bittuji, almost on their own. Within a few moments, every inch of RK's body was enraged, and RK was holding Bittuji by his collar.
"What did you just say? What did you just say about my Madhu? Do you even know..."screamed RK even as Bittuji protested and tried to calm him down.
"Relax Chief, I know you're upset..."
"Upset...I will kill you. How can you say something like that? Where is Madhu? I want my Madhu now." RK said, his words laced with fury, but his body shivering with uncontrollable sobs. As RK's grip loosened, Bittuji hugged him and held him to calm him somewhat, his own eyes teary by now. RK wasn't breathing, wasn't feeling and was unable to think or process the import of what he had just heard. Slowly Bittuji pushed him towards a nearby waiting lounge to get away from the scene being created in the corridor. RK was still holding Bittuji, his head spinning. Bittuji made RK sit and spoke.
"I am saying the truth Chief. This is the harsh truth. Six months back, that night when Madhu bhabhi saw you in Ria's arms, she jumped off the Sarjanpur cliff. I saw her, but I couldn't save her."
The details of Madhu's gruesome death sucked the remaining air out of RK. Shocked, he looked at Bittuji, with guilt, denial, anger and grief lashing in him like furious waves, but his mind had by now lost all control of his body.
"What?" came a frail cracked voice from RK, barely discernible.
"Yes. She believed nobody loved her or wanted her anymore, and she could not take your hatred, your betrayal any longer. I was driving towards the farmhouse to find you, when I saw her car, and then her. But she...
Here, read this. It was on her car." Bittuji fished a note from his wallet and handed it to RK.
Rishabh,
For me, you have all my Rishabh, my husband, my life, and me your Madhu, your jungli billi. For the world, you were and always will be a superstar, but for me you were my universe. I was never as happy in my life as I was being Madhubala Rishabh Kundra, your biwi, your ishq, your junoon. I did not ever want to be anything else, anyone else.
But my destiny has never been my friend. I did not have that happiness in my life for long, it seems. I can take your love, your passion, your tantrums, your anger, even your hatred...I can take everything RK, but I cannot take your absence. Today, you look at me like a stranger. Today, I am all alone.
We lost our child. I will never forgive fate for doing that to me - it scarred my soul and I know it hurt you deeply too. Nobody had any right to play with our dreams like that. If you can ever in your life, with any small part of you, trust me again, trust me on this - I did not kill our child. I could never ever do anything or let anything happen that could harm our child. And yet, our child is gone. And I cannot live with that grief alone. It has left me weak RK, and when I see hatred in your eyes and silence in your words, it kills me a little bit every second.
I don't know how I did it RK, but it seems I lost everything. Your love, our trust, our childI used to believe you needed me, wanted me. But I seem to have only brought pain and dangers to your life. And now, I seem to have driven you away to someone else's arms for solace. I cannot see that. I cannot hear your lies. I cannot see my love being replaced. The pain is just too great for me to survive.
This life, my life without you, is nothing. If you ever care for me again, please forgive me for giving up. And know that I forgive you too.
I am sorry. I love you.
Goodbye.
Madhu
Rk stared at the paper for a long long time. It was a while before he could start reading it, but with streams of tears continually oozing out of his eyes, each word was slow, painful reading. RK read it multiple times, scarcely believing that this was real.
Finally, faintly he asked Bittuji, who was patiently waiting at his side..
"Six months...?" Bittuji nodded."Why...?"
"Why did I not tell you before? Well, I tried. Immediately after I saw Madhu, I called, but Ria told me you were uninterested. When I couldn't reach you, I called Madhu's mother. Unfortunately, she had a heart attack on hearing the news over the phone. She was alone at the time, with Trishna out of city. Some neighbours called me after some time, but by the time I got her to a hospital, much damage had happened. She has been here, in a coma ever since. I even came to personally get you at your farmhouse at the first chance I could slip out of the hospital, but from the window I saw what Ria had said on the phone and what Madhu bhabhi had written in this note...it was all true. Anyway you were passed out and I was needed back here, so I returned. The next day, I tried talking to you, but I realized you did not care about Madhu bhabhi and you refused to understand anything I tried to say. That day, Chief, I was truly disgusted in you. I resigned, but even after that, I tried so many times to have this conversation, because I wanted you to know the truth...but until today, you were not interested. You lived like you never knew Madhu bhabhi, or at the very least were happy with the replacement you found, so what could I do. I do not know what brought you here today, but I owe you the truth. I think it is important that you understand and realize how many lives have you destroyed. Including your own."
RK looked into Bittuji's eyes. His voice had sorrow, but a lot more hatred and disgust for RK, something he had never heard before. But then again, it was nothing compared to the self-hatred RK felt for himself at this moment. Every word Bittuji had said was true. He hadn't..he hadn't actually cared. For his Madhu. For the woman who taught him the meaning of love and of life. For the one person who had given him much more than he ever deserved. Always forgiving him, always bringing him back on the right path, always healing him with love. And what had he given her? He had killed her desire to live. He had brutally butchered her trust, her faith in love. He had made the strongest, most courageous, most resilient person he had ever met into a quitter.
RK read back the words in the note. "Why Madhu why, why could you not fight me, slap me, bring me back to sanity one more time? Why did you give up? Why did you leave me alone?" RK's thoughts were torturous as he lived the anguish Madhu faced in the last moments of her life, and he broke down. RK wanted to scream, but sound - like hope, like ego, like the light of life - had left his body already, heir voids filled with guilt, pain and hatred.
Guilt is the slowest, surest poison.
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
