As the walk to his sister's marital home grew shorter, Munroe-Levi's heart beat faster. Who knew what awaited him on the other side of the wooden doors? A happily married Yvette or the miserable child who had given up on life years ago.
"Mr. Kundra? Ev?" He spoke the through the intercom waiting for an answer.
"Levi", Madhubala opened the doors and all but plunged into his embrace. Pulling both their bodies to face Rishabh, she spoke with hopeful eyes, "help me please. I am not doing okay. I want to be...I want you to like me but I am afraid you hate me. I am sorry for being so...careless, and stupid, and burdensome. I should have just die with ...Joel...Jolene".
Her voice became shaky until the words were mumbled into her brother's shoulders. She sobbed uncontrollably and Rishabh's heart turned inside out. He hurt for this woman who, in many ways, had been a stranger to him even after their marriage.
"I don't hate you Madhu", he attempted to calm her elevated emotions with a gentle run on the back. "You're not stupid or burdensome. I am with you because important to me". As the words escaped his mouth, Rishabh knew they'd been a lie. The two men shared a sympathetic smile and Rishabh guided the reunited siblings into their living room.
"I am guessing the mania subsided now. The next few days will be a rough sailing. But I am here to help out. I am sorry you were dragged into this. Knowing my father, I should have thought better than to trust him. I should have visited you and not assumed that he'd told you the truth. I am sorry. I really am...for not coming to the wedding or making contact sooner. And I understand, if you want to hate me. When she is back to normal, you can talk to her and decide what your future holds together. I won't intervene. I just hope you can hold on a little longer. Atleast she is healthy enough to stand her own, to make a firm decision like the woman that she is meant to be".
The room soon fell into a comfortable silence with only shots of whiskey exchanged in the dark. After two days of awakened mania, Madhu finally fell asleep down by her brother's leg. And in her dreams, she saw Jolene. Jolene was the beginning of the end. She was everything: life, blood, air. She was Madhu's reason to live. Jolene was the woman who taught Madhu how to love.
Sixteen and wide eyed in the ghost town of old Calcutta, Madhubala met Jolene Fernandez- the chai girl in the Meena bazaar corner store. One cup of steamed masala chai later, an innocent confession was exchanged behind the back alley of the street.
"You are pretty", she said to Madhu.
With one hand slipping underneath her waist and the other pulling her in for a kiss, Madhu delivered her best charm. "I know", she said. "I am really pretty but I am the prettiest when I am kissing you".
It was a dialogue stolen from cheesy Hollywood movie she couldn't remember the name of. Not that she cared what the movie was. The only thing that mattered was that her lips were touching Jolene's.
With every chai she drank, Madhu's skirts got shorter and her kisses grew longer, warmer, until she didn't just want the kisses any more. She wanted to show Jolene off to the world. She wanted to shout her name off rooftops. But Jolene didn't want that. Jolene had her own problems, bigger ones, more than Madhu could ever imagine.
The first night Madhu's hand slid under Jolene's belt, she pushed it away. "I am not ready" was her readymade response for months until all hell broke loose.
"Just what is wrong with me? Why won't you let me touch you? Love you?" Madhu asked.
"Because I don't want you to know...", Jolene spoke in a crass tone but her pain was too overwhelming to go unnoticed. "I don't want you to know that I don't love myself. I hate it...I hate what I am".
Seeing the one you break down is never easy but what Madhu witnessed was much more than a crying girl: it was a broken soul. As Jolene pulled down her pants, Madhu could see all the reasons why she'd hidden it away for so long. Jolene's legs were long and sculpted but her thighs were bruised and scarred. She dug her nails deeper into the wounded skin in a last attempt to save grace. Green marks from beatings, cigarette burns between her legs, cuts, stabs covering every inch of flesh. She was telling a dark story.
"Why?" she screamed to the skies. "Why was I born a girl? Why?"
She begged Madhu to break up. "How can I love you when I don't even love myself?"
But Madhu, this silly, passionate girl would not let go so easy. She stole for her love. She lied, she cheated, she crossed all boundaries to protect the one she pledged herself to. She sold her father's gold watch to pay for Jolene to become Joel. A catholic girl was to run away to Mumbai and become a man. Alas the money came too late. When Madhu reached Jolene after a week apart, all she found was a dead body under the Howdah bridge. But she couldn't even cry. Who would believe her if she told them it was the woman she loved? So she kept it in. As long as she could.
She buried her pain until it demanded to be felt. And when it came out, it destroyed everything in its wake. That is how Madhu became manic. Because everything began with Jolene and everything ended with Jolene.
Cricket
