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Reliving IPK
Episode 114
Jaldbazi kay faislay
Her head bent, her shoulders drooping, She nods her capitulation ... And the man she has agreed to marry, slyly gloats his treacherously won siege ...
Her Amma's wide eyes are soft with tears, her mouth slack with disbelief, as she turns and looks at her older daughter ... Payal's snuffs her heartbreak in the tremble of her lips and rushes to support her sister by her shoulders ... least she collapses ... Can Buaji not see the tears in Khushi's eyes ? Does she really not know why Khushi has said yes ? Does this have be done now, at a time like this, with such coercion ?
Buaji sees none of it ... She doesn't see her sister in laws teary apprehension, she does not hear the sob in Payal's throat, she does not see the tears in her Babuas's hollow eyes, she does not see the desolate numbness in her Titliya's submission. She most definitely does not see the the brazen, shameless swagger, the insidious squeezing, by he man she has foisted on her niece.
Her mission accomplished, she is once again the loving aunt, thrilled that her niece has fulfilled her helpless brothers dreams. She scurries them to seek blessings from Devi Maiya and Babuji. Khushi performs like a robot ... Going through the motions ...
His Di can sense it. Something is definitely not right. She knows her brother well. He seems positively morose. Not at all a person one would suspect had just announced his intent to get married, not more than a couple of hours ago. She knows he is definitely not the kind to go around humming his happiness at the thought of his soon to be engagement, but she really had not expected this kind of restlessness, this lack of enthusiasm. After all, wasn't it entirely his decision to get engaged ? Nobody had forced him ... So shouldn't he be ... Happy ? At the very least ...
She does not beat around the bush. If only she knew how hard her questions were for him to answer ... How close to the truth they were hitting ... Tum khush toh ho na ? Tum nay yeh faisala jaldbazi mein toh nahi liya ... Yeh faisla Dil say liya hai na ?
Jaldbazi ... Khush ... Dil ...
He is standing, leaning into her, her face cupped in his hands, his lips a breath away from hers ...
He does not even think of the moment when he had stood with his fingers wrapped around Lavanya hand, answering an excessively nosey, uncouth guest, Dehakyiay aap ka naati kya kar raha hai ... Shaddi kar raha hai ...
How can he tell Di how he got from that one moment to the next, to the one she had witnessed ... How can he tell her when he himself is not sure how he got from the moment imprinted in his memory to now ?
He was the man, the same man who had committed he would never marry, who had gone and held Lavanya's hand and proclaimed his intent ... Han Di, mein Lavanya say Shaadi kar raha hoon ... What had driven him ? How can he tell her that it was not Lavanya that he had seeked ... But it was someone else he was running away from ...
How can he tell her that he is a coward ... That he would rather run than expose him self to what this girl was making him feel ... That he had glimpsed into his heart and had got cold feet ... That he was terrified of what he was capable of feeling ... How can he tell his Di that he does not have it in him to open his heart to anymore pain ... All he knows is that with her, he feels a million different things and without her, he is numb ... And numb he understands well ... Numbness he can deal with ...
How can he tell his Di that this was not a Faisla at all ... Jaldbazi ka or otherwise ... This was no decision ... There was no thought process ... There was no thinking through ... This was a knee jerk reaction ... A perverse self-preservation ... An obstinate rebellion ... A panicked rashness ...
Khush ? How can he be kush ? He has just broken her heart a million different ways ... And still not found the peace he had been seeking ... He had thought that if he severs her from his life ... He can move on, grain some control ... It will not be easy ... It will take time.
He turns his back to his Di and lies, Mein khush hoon.
Payal, sits behind her, oiling her hair ... She wants to know if Shyamji the one .. Is Khushi prepared to spend the rest of her life with him ? She uses words like puri zandigee ... Hoping her little sister understands the enormity of the decision. But again, if this is a decision, a jaldbazi ka faisla, it is not Khushi's decision. She has merely collapsed under coercion, bowed because of daughterly love. She has payed of debt and all are happy. Tum nay dekhna nahin, sab kit nay khush thay ? Aur tum? Payal questions, knowing full well the answer.
Khushi looks at the payals on her feet ... How did she end up here ? How did she let herself get so involved ... Sometimes there are no answers ... Like how did she fall in love with most hard hearted, difficult to understand, unavailable man ... She had not set about to do this ... Somethings just happen ...
But also, somethings are just not meant to be. How foolish of her to even dream for a second ... She has to forget him and move on. And what better way than this ? A new chapter in her life. So what if she does not want to ... So what if her heart is breaking ... As long as everyone else is happy, she will learn to be happy ... Isn't that what she always does ? Isn't that what her name is ... Khushi ? And really, why should she worry ? Hasn't Devi Maiya herself mapped this for her ? It must be a sahee faisla ...
Daily motion video ... Enjoy !
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmFmdGd8Fes&sns=em[/YOUTUBE]
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