I lived with a lot of fear: Hrithik Roshan

After the stupendous success of his latest superhero film, Krrish 3 -- which earned more than Rs 200 crore within a week -- one expected Hrithik Roshan to be jubilant and throwing fist in the air. Instead, HitList caught him in a deeply philosophical and mellow mood...

Hrithik Roshan

You still suffering from headaches?
Yes. Right now I have a huge headache. Even the vibration of my voice as I am talking to you gives jolts to my head. I take it as a part of my life. In time, I will be fine. I was supposed to be okay now if I had taken rest like doctors recommended. But I got busy with Krrish promotions. Now I have 10 to 12 days and I plan to rest it out, before I start shooting for Bang Bang. And then there is Shuddhi too. I plan to get that on the floor as well. I don't want to give them (filmmakers) more stress because of my health.

Any lesson that you learnt because of this roadblock?
There is no reason to be afraid of anything in life. Do the things you have to because you don't know what lies ahead and what will happen at what time. When I went through my surgery, I was singing even on the operating table. I made the nurses sing because I didn't want to have any kind of fear. If I had to ask myself questions like why is this happening to me or what if something went wrong, it would have bogged me down. I have learnt that one has to stop stressing over things one can't control. I have lived with quite a lot of fear in my life. I have now understood life. I would like to call myself not a VIP but WIP. I'm a work in progress. I had fears that made no sense. You know those anxiety attacks that we all get? But then I realised that it's very important to desire fear. You ask for more fear and it goes away. You can not win by resisting nature. Growing up is accepting the life around you. I think destiny is a wave and it is your choice if you want to ride it or drown in it.

Talking about Krrish 3, what's a bigger high, the money it has grossed or that it has broken records of the Khans...
None. What really gives me the high is the victory of the journey that we underwent. We enjoyed the process of the film and spent every single day in complete enthusiasm. The number is just a consequence of that journey. It is important, of course, but the only thing is that this results in motivating us further and aspire to take on bigger things.

It was a huge risk...
It is a foregone conclusion in my head that I have to take as many risks as possible. I know there is an equation between hard work and success. Krrish was a risk in every single way. It had the kind of budget that we couldn't' afford. And then that VFX which we wanted all to be done in India. The risk was humongous. Even when we were done with the script, we had thought of abandoning it. Dad (Rakesh Roshan) almost shelved the film three to four times midway. But I am glad we went ahead and the universe supported us. We were little scared throughout. It had such a high budget that it had to be absolutely loved not just liked.

Being called a superstar suits you?
It is just a label lovingly bestowed upon me. I respect that but it is still just a label. I wake up like others and I still have the problems like others do. This label is just a pat on the back but doesn't define me. If I start taking it too seriously, I will never be able to grow.

Your dad is said to be very money smart. Are you?
Now I am. I've learnt a lot over the last two or three years. I am now smarter. It is nice to be educated about money and business. I have always invested well but now I invest better.

Does money make you feel secure?
Not at all. I truly think that nothing external can make you secure because they might leave you some day. True security is being reliant on yourself. I know it is easier said than done. But I have learnt to depend on myself for my happiness. You just need to have the right perspective. Believe me.