Little Red Flower -Thread One- Chapter 1 to 8 - Page 48

Little Red Flower

Chapter Six

Trust

He never came. He never kept his promises. I waited for him until dawn, but he never came. He did not love me. May be he never did? I am scared to even think, that he betrayed me. Was everything a mere pretense? If not, why did not he come? Like, he had promised.

His spoken words, those beautiful words he whispered into my ears while we became one, reverberated inside me. I was hearing thing's for sure.

"I Love You, Khushi"

The word used to send millions of emotions right though me, whenever I heard his beautiful voice and those beautiful words which was been directed at me, only me. He was not there, right? It was just a figment of my imagination. He cannot be here; he is in Delhi, still mourning for the death of his late Mother. And precisely, he thinks that "I" caused everything.

If he thinks that way, let it be. Let just ruin our life together, by letting go of each other at the most wanton times.

One time, I was scared to even live. the time I had left that altar and him forever. Fighting with myself to think differently and trust him. but I did not had that much patience and wait for him.

Was not I too at the fault? I had promised to be with him "Hameshaa" and what did I do? Left him!! I was a coward to face the society and I escaped from everything, everyone. Because I was not prepared to face the reality. To face a world without him by my side. I was so used to him that the thought itself scared me to death.

I had sensed the morning rays of sun peeking through the large curtains of the hall. If he was going to come, he would have reached there long before. I made a decision and then I was out of there, away from him, away from my family, away from everything that reminded me of my life with him.

I watched everyone rushing to my sides, when I tripped onto one of the steps, but I balanced myself before falling down. May be, I knew that there was no one, no one to save me this time. Whoever used to save me had left me.

So, I did the obvious, I left Arnav Singh Raizada, forever.

____________

Chaahat...

I don't know, if you would appreciate the fact that I left your father, without giving him a chance to show up. But eventually, you got your answers, don't you? What would have happened if I stayed there, and he never came? I did not had any idea that I was carrying you inside me then, but everything changed and I got a clear view of my future and the purpose of surviving my life, it was you baby. The only reason which kept me alive.

Even though, I hated your father for letting me down, I just could not stand the thought of leaving you or killing you. You are precious, and it does not matter whether you are the part of him or not. You are definitely a part of me and I love you!!

You do trust me, right? You know your mother would never want you to live a life of a fatherless child because she knows the pain, she knows the pain of living as an Orphan, but she just cant see you going through the same pain of ignorance.

I want everything best for you. And I will make sure that you gets the best of everything, as long as I am with you.

You are my life and the only reason of my existence.

____________

I still remember that morning, when I had first met Sister. Claire, at the bus station. She was kind enough to notice me sitting at one of the corner of the bus station, in a bridal wear.

She straight came to my sides and asked about my whereabouts as why I was sitting all alone and that too in what it seemed like a bridal attire. I was lost for words and I was not ready yet, to share about everything that happened and changed in my life in just few hours. The mere fact that she was a complete stranger and I was in a very vulnerable situation at that moment made me back away from her.

Her assuring hands swept over my curls tucking it behind my ears and I felt an instant connection towards the woman. Next moment, I was hugging her and she stroked my tensed back with her magical hands. yes she was magical, indeed. Everything about her was magical and I knew I was so right about the thought inside my head, which crossed my mind, when I hugged her.

And then, I shared every damned thing about my life to her and she asked me to join her to Bhopal. Where she used to live with few other people and girls, those who were been abandoned by their relatives or loved ones.

I found solace there, and felt myself getting along with those people there. Who were anything but strangers to me. But their feelings for me, were genuine unlike some people who claimed that they loved me.

It was after one whole month of my stay there that I found out to be pregnant with Arnav's child. Everyone, except Sister. Claire were been shocked or rather surprised with the news. I was in dilemma, and my behavior worsened during those days, thinking about the future lay in front of me, with a fatherless child, whom I have to bring up on my own.

I was scared to the roots and if it was not for the reassuring words of my savior, Sister. Claire, I don't know where I would have ended up with my life.

I spend my initial stage of pregnancy by cursing myself for taking such a drastic step in my life, just because I was attracted to him and I loved him with my whole heart. I never needed any reassurances from his side, because I trusted him blindly and went with the flow of our desires for each other, which was now I think, was been blinded by passion and need that night.

As I neared to my labor, I knew that it is not going to be the end of the world and I have started a liking towards you. I remember the last ever prayer I made before I entered the labor room.

"Keep my Chaahat safe.. I want her in my life with me...FOREVER.."

___________

Cammy kept looking at Khushi's flustered face as they both entered inside their house. Khushi banged the door close and dumped both the bags onto the bed and dashed inside the kitchen, leaving Cammy at the door.

"Mumma.."

Cammy's next words died in her mouth itself as she watched her mother sobbing, silently holding onto the kitchen sink. She hid behind the door and clamped her mouth shut, stifling the sob which threatened to escape her mouth. She had never seen her mother cry, she never did, not in front of her though. The thought of her mother suffering from years, made her sad all at once.

She could not just stand there and watch the most important person in her life breaking down in front of her. She, without any words rushed to her mother's side and hugged her waist from behind.

Khushi's form stiffened and she wiped her face vigorously before turning around to see her daughter crying bitterly holding onto her sari. Khushi knelt in front of her cupped her cheeks, wiping away those sheen of tears from her cherub cheeks.

"Cammy, Mumma's fine...it was just..."

Khushi struggled for a proper word and found Cammy's eyes almost piercing through her being. Khushi felt nervous to even utter a word, while Cammy elegantly held her hand and placed it on her head.

"Promise me, that you will never ever cry like this, .Ever!!

She emphasized on her last word and looked at her mother's face expectantly. Khushi was stunned by her daughter's this kind of behavior and nodded her head as she placed a lingering kiss onto her crown. It was too much her heart could take that day. That small act reminded her of Arnav and his words that night.

"Khushi mujhse waada karo, ki tum mujhe kabhi chodke nahi jaogi. Main tumhare bina jee nahi paonga.." [Khushi, Promise me that you will never leave me, I won't be able to live without you]

"I promise.."

She whispered and found her daughter's face lit up into a rare of smiles that she had ever encountered.

"So, the movie plan is still on?"

Cammy asked out of the blue and Khushi grinned back in response.

"I guess, a Yes?"

"Mumma, you know what, you are the best Mumma, ever.."

__________

"Hum kitne khushnaseeb hai, ki hamein saccha pyar mila.."

Her spoken words stung him like thousands of needles at a time. And he leaned back onto the bed, holding the diary closer to his heart. Tears flow uncontrollably now, drying his eyes.

If only, if only she heard him out. He wanted nothing, but her forgiveness. He had trust upon him and the love of his life, and now the woman who was the mother to his child. He felt his chest constrict at the mere thought of the kiddo who had him mesmerized since he had met her for the first time at the spa.

He wiped his face vigorously and his face lit up into a determined smile. He knew what he has to do to have her back into his life.

There was a hesitant knock on the door and Arnav straightened up immediately as the dor flung open and NK stood there smiling cutely at his cousin brother.

"Hey bro, thought you might be in need of some pep talk. So, here I am all for you.."

NK said stretching his arms sideways while he winked at Arnav.

" Ohh... I would never have guessed..."