Grade Nine
When they became friends in her first year of high school, she had fallen for him right away. She just hadn't realized it at that point. He wrote poetry. He was mature. He was the kind of person that Aarti wanted. She wanted him really badly. In the beginning she denied it.
No way, I can't like him, she used to think.
She did not tell anyone about her feelings because she wasn't entirely sure herself. All she knew was that she looked forward to their meetings, their conversations.
"How are you doing? Have you written anything new lately?" he asked her.
"I'm doing alright," she replied, feeling happy that he genuinely seemed to want to know. "How are you doing? I haven't written anything no, have you?"
"I'm doing fine. I wrote this new piece of poetry, would you like to read it?"
"Sure!" she replied enthusiastically, always looking forward to reading his writing.
It was another depressing piece. She wasn't surprised. He seemed to really enjoy writing about depressing love poems. She had not reached the depths of his soul yet, she had not found the courage to ask him the reason behind his despair, but she knew that he had feelings he was confining to a tiny cavity in his chest.
"It's great!" she told him. "You're such a good writer."
"Thanks! Alright I'll see you later! I have to get going!" he said after she read it.
Their conversations went back and forth like this for a while. Usually, in fact, nearly always, they would speak online. She was too afraid to speak to him in person and she had no idea why he didn't approach her either. In fact, that conversation that just occurred happened online too - this was just what she imagined it would have been like in person.
The first time he talked to her in person they were standing outside the school's front doors. Aarti was with two of her friends and he was with two of his. He walked out of the door. "Aarti, did you see a guy in a blue shirt?"
Aarti could feel herself blushing. She pressed her lips together and shook her head. The way he said her name, the way he spoke to her, oh for the first time in months. The only time they had spoken in person before this was last year in Grade 8, when they were in the same class. That time she despised him and they would argue constantly. He would call her names and she would respond with sarcastic remarks. They were always like a cat and mouse, arguing back and forth. What made it worse was that they were always seated together or one in front of the other. It was like God wanted something else.
As soon as he left, Aarti could feel the blood rushing to her body. She had been on her way to Physical Education, where they were to run around the track outside. Aarti, who was always so lazy to run and could hardly run for a minute, ran around the whole track three times. The jaws of her friends literally dropped. "This is Aarti?" they had murmured. She got an adrenaline rush, simply because he had spoken to her. She didn't know what her condition would be later on. It was then that she started to realize that she might actually have feelings for him after all.
The second time he spoke to her in person was in the winter time, closer to December. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she was wearing sweatpants and a heavy jacket. She was in the cafeteria with the same group of girls, feeling like she looked like shit. Aarti knew that she wasn't ugly - in fact, she considered herself pretty, but today she wasn't feeling particularly nice looking. However, when she saw him coming, she felt her cheeks burn again. She could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Aarti," he said, as her heart beat picked up.
She turned around to look at him.
"You have a pretty smile."
Then he walked off. She could not stop smiling the whole day. Later, on the bus ride home, she overheard him telling his friend. "Yeah he dared us to go around complimenting girls..."
She immediately felt upset, however, she was determined to not jump to conclusions and decided that she had misheard him. Later on, months later, when they were much closer, she asked him about that day, he told her that he had been dared but she genuinely did have a nice smile.
The real turning point in their lives came up next, in the form of Mark. From September 1st, until May, she admired him from afar, smiling to herself slowly as he walked by. Her heart would leap every time he started a conversation. In May, their friendship turned into best friendship. They grew a lot closer, and it was all thanks to Mark.
--
February 2009:
Mark is sending you a contact request, will you accept it?
Aarti clicked yes, curious to know who it was.
Mark: Hi
Aarti: Who is this?
Mark: Mark.
Aarti: I don't know a Mark.
Mark: Well I know you.
Aarti: Well that's just creepy. I'm deleting you, bye.
Mark: I go to your school, I know what class you have first period. I know what you look like, who you hang out with. If that isn't enough proof for you, then I don't know what is.
Aarti: Okay, this is really creepy.
Mark: What do you want to know about me?
Aarti: Who the hell are you?
Mark: Mark.
Aarti: Okay shut up. I'm deleting you.
April 2009:
"Hey, Aarti," Aarti's best friend Mansi said in their first period class.
"Yes Mansi?"
"Don't tell anyone this, but I think I'm in love."
"With who?" Aarti asked, incredulously. Mansi became "in love" with a new guy nearly every single day.
"A guy named Mark. He added me on MSN yesterday."
Aarti's jaw dropped open. "Oh man, Mansi. This guy added me too, but I deleted him months ago! He's creepy. Don't fall for his tricks."
"But he goes here," Mansi said, pouting.
"Yeah, with a fake ID. I don't know who this creep is but I'm getting to the bottom of this," Aarti told her, deciding that she would unblock him later tonight.
Later on that day, Aarti went home and unblocked Mark. He appeared online right away.
Mark: Hey
Aarti: Who are you? Why are you talking to Mansi?
Mansi has logged on.
Aarti messaged Mansi on the side.
Mansi: Aarti, he's so romantic. I love him!
Aarti: Shut up Mansi. He's fake.
She went back to Mark's conversation after seeing that he had replied.
Mark: I love Mansi, what can I say?
Aarti: Really?
Mark: Not really. I actually really liked you, but you rejected me. The only way to get to you was to use Mansi. Sorry, I didn't mean to.
Aarti switched to Mansi's conversation and noticed that she had replied.
Mansi: OMG AARTI HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE IS MY BOYFRIEND NOW!
Aarti felt her heart skip a beat. She didn't know why, but she didn't like this idea. Deep down, she felt like this wasn't right.
She looked at her contact list and noticed that Yash was online too. She double clicked his name.
Aarti: Yash, do you know a Mark?
Yash: No... why?
Aarti: He just asked Mansi out and he's some dude who claims to know us.
Yash: What a jerk.
Aarti: Yeah.
She switched to Mark's conversation again.
Mark: You know Aarti, there are three types of people you fall for. They say you must fall for all three to truly experience love.
Aarti: Really? What kinds?
Mark: Well the first one is when you fall for your close friend, breaking the barrier between your friendship and your love for eternity.
By this point, Aarti's doubts were confirmed. Mark had to be Yash in disguise.
The next few days passed like that. Aarti didn't openly tell Yash that she knew that it was him. In fact, she kind of used Mark as a way to get closer to Yash, and Yash accepted the closeness too. She would message Yash on the side and they would have deep and meaningful conversations about love and life. Aarti was the one who told Mark to "break up" with Mansi because it wasn't right, and Mark told her that she was right. However, after breaking up with Mansi, she threatened to kill herself. Aarti told Mark to chill, that she knew Mansi. She was just a drama queen and wanted attention.
The next day, Mansi came to class with bandaids on her arm. "Hopefully Mark, whoever he is, will see this," she told Aarti with excitement. "And hopefully he'll come back to me. I'm pretending that I cut myself."
Aarti wanted to slap Mansi but she obviously refrained from doing so. Later on that day she told Mark that the bandaids on Mansi's arms were fake. Soon Mark started to woo Aarti with his poems and Aarti, under the impression that this was Yash, got woo'd.
One day, after Aarti and Yash in his regular form got closer after talking about Mark, Mark disappeared from the picture entirely. It lead Aarti to believe that Yash did all of this to truly get closer to her and Aarti found it oddly cute. She knew that it was wrong to use Mansi like that, but she really couldn't help but think of Yash with a smile.
Soon the end of June came and Yash and Aarti were talking on MSN.
Yash: Aarti, who do you like?
Aarti: I haven't told anyone. I can't tell.
Yash: Please, I'm dying to know.
Aarti: Why? Who do you like?
Yash: Nobody.
Aarti: Me too =)
Yash: NO YOU MUST TELL ME AARTI PLEASE.
Aarti: Okay fine, play the guessing game.
Yash: Did he go to middle school with us?
Aarti: Yes
Yash: In our class?
Aarti: Oh gosh, I don't want to answer.
Yash: So that's a yes. And that leaves us to about five guys who came with us to this high school.
Aarti: Yash, stop.
Yash: Um, I wonder if it's who I think it is.
Aarti: No Yash, please stop.
Yash: Who is it?
Aarti: Are you sure... don't freak out.
Yash: I won't.
Aarti: It's you. I like you.
He didn't reply for twenty minutes.
Yash: Oh.
Aarti: I'm trying to get over you. Please, please forget this conversation happened. I don't want anything to be awkward.
Yash: Don't worry.
It never got awkward. In fact, that Summer, they got closer than ever before, they became best friends.
On her Birthday, at the end of June, he gave her the best birthday gift she could have hoped for. She had not been expecting anything, but close to midnight he had gone on to a website called Mystery Google. It was a website which showed you what the last person searched for. Yash had "searched" for: "next person to see this copy and paste this message: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARTI." It made her feel like he wanted the world to know it was her birthday and he wanted everyone to wish her. She thought that it may seem stupid and pointless to some people, but to her that gift was truly priceless.
It was that night that she told herself that she didn't know the fate of her crush on Yash. All she did know was that she would treasure this moment forever, no matter what the outcome would be because a million nights of pain would be nothing in front of this one moment of true happiness.
Aarti performed an experiment that Summer. She was to go out of town for a weekend. Three nights. She didn't tell any of her friends she was leaving, nor did she tell him. She forced herself to stay away from him and refrained from contacting him from where she was. She wanted to see if he'd notice that she was away. Granted, they had been speaking to each other every single day by then, but she still wanted to see.
As soon as she logged on that Monday night towards 11:30 PM, he messaged her right away.
Yash: Hey
Aarti: Hi
Yash: Where were you?
Mansi's chat popped up as well.
Mansi: Where were you girl? You have no idea. Yash was asking about you. He was so worried!
Aarti smiled to herself, knowing that she didn't do the right thing - however, she was glad that he cared about her. He wanted to know if she was okay.
Then she entered the tenth grade, a fifteen year old, and this year her relationship with Yash experienced a different side of the spectrum.
Edited by ilovepyaar - 12 years ago
Anupamaa
