Marital problems caused by older people

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

generation gap problems.

In India arranged marriages is preferred by the older generation.

Youngsters need to sort out and find a way not to be affected.

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Komal

@kritikakk

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

i think main issue highlighted here has been, elders not realising the importance of letting go once their kids r married!
some1 above mentioned that in all d marriages/relationships of jagia n anandi, 1 prominent thg was the constant intereference of the elders n parents in d kids marital life, and elders wanting to always dictate how n what d kids do!

i reckon elders need to understand d need for privacy n space, esp when their kids marry! otherwise all hell will break loose in d house!

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onlinebuddy75

@onlinebuddy75

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

Marital problems are never caused by anybody nor elder people or anyone. The couple in marriage should be strong and understanding to handle the word called Relationship with its ups and downs. If your bond is not strong enough anything can affect your relationship.

One cannot say that Urban or rural families are good and bad . It varies from family to family and there thinking. Elders never ever think anything bad about there kids, it is just Generation gap

About staying under one roof, that is how it has been in India. Families can stay together still give privacy , but for that everybody in family needs to be understanding and adjusting.

DS did force J ot get married because Elders like DS feel that happiness lies in a happy marriage. She even forced A into marriage. Her way was wrong but her intentions were correct. Old generation like DS believe in force and young generation like Shiv believe in giving time to Accept.

Edited by onlinebuddy75 - 12 years ago

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jagspaddy

@jagspaddy

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Someone somewhere rightly said.. Marriage is a gamble.. I believe the couple in relationship should be dedicated to their relationship and not be influenced by both set of parents! They should first build a strong relation. Most of the houses the elders fear for their kids though the kids are 30 yr olds and are married.

Edited by jagspaddy - 12 years ago

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Jan50

@Jan50

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

Spuja, not only inlaws, but living under the same roof with different people would cause

Problems nless all people involved feel there is some advantage in living together and learn to

Put up with each other. Tv serials do exaggerate the problems. But they do depict the norm

In our society. Even nicest of people ,when they become in laws act differently. They start

Feeling insecure by the choice made by their son. After marriage it takes some time for couples to

Understand each othe and get used to each other.. During that time if there is also a burden of adjusting to in aws or parents In new situation, it creates too much rift. I have seen this in families.people are people. Some Like to control and dominate over others.

In my opinion it is better for couples to move out after marriage. In some cases even parents

Prefer that. They too need their space.

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

Marriage is a gamble

Very well said...the BIGGEST gamble of life .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 12 years ago

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

But these oldies have heir own agenda.

There , u said it

what would interest me is NOT Jagya winning them back but THEY realising this fact and going to him . They must see that youngsters CAN be succesful WITHOUT them . Its a fact of life and one must squarely face facts of life .

Normally i am on the sides of the elders . In all forums i posted

i always wrote on their side . Tradition and elders matter a lot to me and i believe if the youth lead a life without their presence in them they are missing a blessing .

But in BV ...NO .

Each has their agenda

Dadisa and Sumitra ...Anandi's saasra .

Ira , Alok and Daddu ...Saanchi 's atrocious pampering .

The sane elders r only 2 ...Bhairo and CM . Their voices r drowned .

They have to give in helplessly . The objective bystanders r Basant Gehna who can only watch as its not their individual nuclear unit to take any stand . They feel bad but cannot do anything beyond a limit .

Jagya's guilt was used as a tool to fulfil their agenda ...maintaining excellent relations with Anandi's saasra by buttering and buttering them for life .

For Anandi's saasra , they had a nice plan of selling their son .

So they all could have parties together for life .

Nobody noticed how stifled , unhappy he was . U see , nobody cared .

Nobody cared that he led an unhappy life till now , if this does not work , he will perhaps be unhappy for LIFE THIS TIME .

When elders cease behaving like elders and behave like old foxes instead ...when they use their life experience for crafty purposes and furthering their own agenda coz that life experience enables them to be 2 steps ahead of the inexperienced young always ...its time to shrug off their imposed nonsense cloaked in rituals and word play and do the right thing .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 12 years ago

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Jan50

@Jan50

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

I remember a few years ago while making a trip from Usa to Delhi, a co passenger who spent

A lot of years in Usa was coming to delhi to get married to a delhi boy against the wishes of her family.

The situation was some what like Sanchi but the girl was very mature and responsible.

She was expressing her fear about adjustments. She had to live with inlaws in Delhi. She requested

Her fiance that they live away from inlaws just for 6 months to get to adjust to each other and then move in with in laws. That in my opinion was very sensible and adjusting.

This girl having spent a lot of years in USA is very realistic about life, people etc.

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