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Shiv - He fell for her the first time he saw her and made attempts, plotted to create occasions for them to be together so that he could get to know her.he took every opportunity to be near her.
When he learnt more about her he realised that she is the kind of woman he wanted as his life partner and then he got to know that the lady was not ready for a relationship or marriage.
Circumstances forced the lady to accept a marriage with him.He was free to say no to the marriage.He could have easily said no and walked away but HE CHOSE TO GET MARRIED TO HER KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT SHE WAS NOT READY FOR IT.
Once he made the commitment he stood by her.He gave her the time and space she needed to make herself ready to accept him as her husband.Giving her the time and space was his need as well as hers.If he wanted her to accept him as her husband he had to give her the space she needed.He was only doing it for his own interests and working on his marriage because it was his duty as a husband to do his part to make the marriage work.He put up with her family because it was his family too.When he was doing his bit to make the marriage work it was considered as an act of sacrifice.
Anandi - Was married off at an age of eight shunted off to in laws place where she was told to make a life for herself.She did by moulding herself to suit that family.Alas her efforts were not enough for her balak var.He left her saying she didn't meet his expectations he had from his wife.The lady gathered herself from the ashes that her life has been reduced and made a life for herself and was not interested in a relationship because she believed that she is not woman enough for any man and she believed that she will fail again as a wife.Then a man came into her life swept her off like a storm but she resisted him because she couldn't bear the thought of having her heart broken again.But the man persisted.She was forced to marry him despite not being ready for a marriage or a relationship.She was drained and totally empty inside unable to love anybody and saw her life as an arid desert land and so not willing to share her life.Since she was the one he wanted he worked on making her life bloom again and made her ready to share her life with him.
Finally his wife made her final commitment to him and she made him hers and made his family her family and she is doing her best to ensure the family welfare.She is putting up with his family and his nasty sister dumb irrational mother and she put up with the insults his family members heaped on her be it choti maa in the past or now his mother and sister.So in what way is her commitment less than his?All because of his family's stupidity today her family is lost to her.Was she blaming him for that?
Now the scenario has changed he is in pain he cannot see where he is going and doesn't realise what he is doing and he is at his worst now.Goning by the same logic that he has been termed as perfect man since he put up with her when she is at her worst shouldn't that be applied to her because she is putting up with him when he is at his worst?
Why is it that when a man is being a husband doing his duty towards his wife and family is considered as someone great?
Why is it when a wife is doing what she is supposed to do is considered just as her duty?
Why was the man hailed as a saviour and perfect and the women was termed as ungrateful and stupid for taking her time in accepting him?Why were his acts as a lover and husband termed as great and why was she expected to be grateful for all that he has done?Wasn't he doing it all for himself and his happiness cos he felt his happiness is tied up with her happiness?
While I am saying this I am reminded of a line Sreedevi said in her movie English Vinglish
When a man cooks it is considered as artistry and when a woman cooks it is part of her duty.
Do we have so less expectations from men that when a man does what he considers asa duty as a husband he is considered as a perfect man?
Why so little expectations from men and so much of expectations from women??
Anupamaa
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