CHAPTER 5
BB noticed when Ashu and Nidhi entered, the tension was so thick that he could cut it with a knife. And he could feel the control with which Nidhi was holding herself together. She barely acknowledged his presence today and with a quick "Good evening Baba" she had made a hasty retreat to her room. "What could have happened between these two?" After all it had been a few months since he had witnessed any major discord between them. "Hope everything is fine?" Just a little while ago in the car...
Darling...aankhon se aankhen char karne do...' Nidhi had turned with a start and a frown had marred her beautiful face. "Where did that come from?" She had snapped back to the present to see Dr. Ashutosh smiling at her with his trademark glint in his eye, but...
Nidhi: "Dr. Ashutosh, what is this?"
Ashu: "Nidhi, in case you did not know, this is a song from a Hindi movie, and this is the FM. Again in case you do not know, it is a radio station. But I think you are familiar with that!" And he ended that with that naughty look in his eye and that lop-sided teasing smile.
But today Nidhi had been in no mood...
Nidhi: "I know that Dr. Ashutosh. But you hate this song. Why don't you just turn it off?"
Ashu: "But you enjoy this song, so just this once I am willing to listen, for your sake."
Nidhi: "What all are you willing to do for me Dr. Ashutosh and for how long? How many compromises are you willing to make? When will you tell me what you want?"
The moment these words left her mouth Nidhi felt ashamed of herself and her runaway tongue. "Now what had she done! Without any provocation she had snapped at him, accused him for no fault of his! What was happening to her? Was this her guilt talking, but guilt for what? For wanting to complete her internship and finishing her education?" Before they could say anything else they had reached home. BB had spotted them and was walking towards them. In an attempt to avoid BBs acute questioning eyes, Nidhi had mouthed a quick hello before rushing to her (their) room. In her current mood, she knew she could not face BB or that look of his that picked up on even the slightest problem. But she knew he had picked it anyway.
After the usual greetings, Ashu spotted the question in BBs eyes. He raised that single eye-brow as if assuring BB that it was not serious, he would take care of things, but secretly he wondered what to do. "Where do I begin? And most importantly what was troubling Nidhi? What do I ask her?"
BB: "Ashu, is everything alright?"
Ashu: "Yes Baba, there is no problem." In his mind, "Atleast nothing that I know of yet. I have to talk to her right away."
BB: "Then why was Nidhi looking so tense? And trying to hide it from me?"
Ashu: Sighs, "I don't know Baba, but don't worry. If there is a problem I will take care of it."
BB: "Ok, just make sure you deal with it calmly. I don't want anything to happen between you both."
With a nod Ashu walked towards his (their) room. He was now at least 100% certain that there was some issue going on with her, something big for her to react like this, be so edgy around him. That easy camaraderie that he had shared with her was missing now. "But since when? Maybe a few weeks back..." He was sure it did not exist before, it was not there when she had rejoined KGH. He now recalled that evening of Anji's Sangeet when he had gone home dejected, a little nervous even, wondering how and where to talk to her. At the same time he had been super exited to have won Nidhi's case. When he saw her in that blue saree looking at him with her heart in her eyes all his insides had melted. All he could think of at that time had been that he had to hug her, he had been without her for too long. And as he had delivered the good news to her, her simple thank you and promise to work hard had brought tears to his eyes. There was so much love and trust in her eyes when she stated with certainty that she knew he had won. Her sincerity when she thanked him and promised to do her best still brought a lump in his throat and could not speak. He was thankful for having done the right thing, for having decided to support her decision to work. And till date he had not regretted that decision, in fact since then the way Nidhi had progressed in her internship had only gone on to strengthen his belief that he was doing the right thing. He had placed his trust in her and staked his reputation when he had fought her case and so far she had more than lived up to it. And he never mentioned babies again, had himself decided to wait for her to finish her internship and become a full-fledged doctor. "So what had changed in the last few weeks?" Mulling over all these things he slowly followed Nidhi to their room...
Meanwhile as she reached her room, her mind went back to yet another car conversation four months back. At that time she had not even thought about the internship, she had just instinctively known that she, actually they, needed some time. Time for her to regain her lost confidence after all the hits she had taken, time to adjust to being a couple, and most importantly time to rebuild their relationship after the storm called Mallika had hit it. Yes, she recalled that four months back when Dr. Ashutosh had mentioned babies one time she had immediately put the brakes on. She did not even want to talk about it and Dr. Ashutosh had quietly accepted. This was just a few days after Dr. Mallika's departure...
Dr. Ashutosh: "So Nidhi, what do you want to do, do you have anything special in mind."
Nidhi: "No... I have not thought about anything yet. I just want some time for myself, be normal again, laugh and even talk to you freely, without fear or hesitation... Considering...sorry I don't know how that slipped."
Dr. Ashutosh: "Its ok, you don't have to apologize. But just remember she was in the past and now she is gone. So lets move on and forget everything."
Nidhi: "Yes...I agree and I am trying my best. But you know, some things take time to heal and for the heart to accept. But I promise we will not talk of her anymore."
And that was that. No mention had been made of Dr. Mallika ever since. But that was also when Dr. Ashutosh had put forth DB's suggestion about the baby.
Dr. Ashutosh: "Nidhi, if you do not mind DB was saying something earlier and I feel it may be good too."
Nidhi: "DB! Now what did she say."
Dr. Ashutosh: "She suggested that we should try and have a baby. Since I am not getting any younger, you know. And...and I feel that is quite a good idea. What do you think?"
Even now Nidhi recalled how she had looked at him shocked, dismayed at first, slightly irritated and angry next. It had made her defensive and she had quipped...
Nidhi: "That's nice. DB can see your age but what about mine. I think we need to wait for sometime."
Dr. Ashutosh: A little self-conscious, "No...I agree you are the most important person to think about, especially since you will be the mother...Er, no problem, we can wait." And with that he had given an awkward smile.
Nidhi: "Yes, we should. I am not against babies. I just wanted to say that everthing has its own time and the time for having a family will come. But its too soon at this time."
Then to divert away from this topic he had mentioned going back to work and she had agreed. The rest of that trip was concluded in silence interlaced with a few awkward glances, both lost in their own thoughts and neither knowing how to break that silence...
In the span of a few days the strong desire to do her internship, to do something worthwhile with her life and education had taken shape. "And was Dr. Ashutosh not partly responsible for this as well? Had it not been for his actions last November and those hurtful words before Anji's wedding she would have been done by now, just like her batch mates. So was it so wrong on her part?" But one corner of her mind kept asking, "Did you ever try to find out what he wants? And why don't you ask him why he dismissed you? Are you scared to face these truths?" She bit her lip and closed her eyes as if she wanted to chase away those thoughts. A moment later she opened them just in time to see Dr. Ashutosh walking in through the door. "Wonder what he told BB? And did BB ask him anything?" She now lifted her face to look at him and smiled, but it was an apologetic smile. She knew he was waiting for her to say something after the way she exploded in the car...
Nidhi: "I am sorry...I didn't mean...I am sorry! I don't know why I said those things to you...I..."
At that Dr. Ashutosh walked to her, placed his finger on her lip to stop her from saying anything more. Then with one hand on her shoulder and the other on her cheek, and ever so gently,
Dr. Ashutosh: "What happened Nidhi? Is something the matter in the hospital? Why are you so tense? I can see it... sense something is troubling you...but...will you not tell me?"
And before he could finish or she could respond they heard BB shout as if in pain. So they held their peace and rushed to his room only to see him sitting awkwardly on the floor with his hand clutching his ankle and his face screwed up.
What followed was a few hours of excruciating pain for BB and a testing time for his two children as they rushed him to KGH. After being examined by Dr. Ranganath they were told that he had suffered a bad sprain when he had attempted to pick up a tablet that had fallen on the floor right below his bed. One hand that was resting on the bed had slipped and unable to regain control of his balance BB had fallen to the floor with his foot in an awkward angle, hence spraining it. He was going to need a few days bed rest now and put his feet up to reduce the swelling, then some physiotherapy with some relaxing exercises. And then there was a course of pain killers. This meant that discussing their issues was to be put on the back burner for a few days as they would be tending to patients in the hospital and to BB at home. Added to all that they both had a couple of emergencies that had them rushing off to KGH at night. And before either knew another month had gone by. But that small conversation they had somehow paved the way for things to ease up. They both understood that with that incomplete conversation they had both silently acknowledged that a talk was needed and their eyes promised that they would at the earliest. Within a couple of weeks BB had recovered. And just like that the New Year had come and gone... but the opportunity they missed was gone forever...
2 months later...
It was Sunday today and it was a bright day with loads of sunshine or was this a reflection of her mood. With a smile she turned to look at Dr. Ashutosh only to find him awake and gazing at her. For some reason today it made her feel incredibly shy. Just a few minutes back she had been lying there with her eyes closed and thinking. She could not believe it was six months since she had rejoined work and she had been enjoying every bit of it. Dr. Ashutosh had proved to be the best teacher she had ever had, and since that two minute conversation almost two months back things were once more smooth in their relationship. The only change was an added awareness that they had issues to discuss. After she had snapped at Dr. Ashutosh in the car, she had come to a decision that she would not let the questions raging in her mind affect her behavior towards her husband. She would ask him at the first available opportunity and that opportunity had evaded her for almost two months. But that decision in itself had brought a certain amount of peace within her. The next few days after Baba's fall had been hectic with and both even had a couple of late night emergencies.
And then it was party time. The entire group of family and friends had gathered at CVs house for a New Year party and bang in the middle of it Anji and Dr. Ranganath had declared that they were going to be parents. As she had expected the next day she got a call...
Nidhi: "Yes DB. How are you? Happy new year again."
DB: "Yes, yes, happy new year, though only you seem to be happy about it! So what are you going to do? Have you thought about it?"
Nidhi: "What am I going to do about what DB? What are you talking about?" Even as she asked this question she could almost guess what the answer would be.
DB: "About what? How can you sit there quietly and ask me this when your friend who got married after you to a much younger man just announced that she was two months pregnant. When she can start a family three months after her marriage why can't you atleast start thinking about one now that you have been married for 8 months?"
Nidhi: "DB, please lets not talk about it atleast till I finish this internship. I'll think about it."
DB: "Bachhi..."
Nidhi: "DB, please, I said I will think...ok, my patients are waiting. I'll talk later, I have to attend to them now. Bye."
And now it was a month later already. January was almost over... But in her heart of hearts she confessed that she had been less caustic when she had spoken to DB. With all the things she had discovered in the last months her awareness about Dr. Ashutosh had increased ten fold. She realized doubts had crept in and she was now willing to be more accommodating...
2 days back...
Lying in bed on this bright Sunday morning she thought back to two days back when a most unlikely thing had happened and the perfect opportunity had presented itself. They had been back from the hospital and after dinner Dr. Ashutosh had requested some coffee. He did that on very rare occasion, either when he was excessively worried or excessively excited and in both cases when sleep eluded him. He was very quiet all day and even in the evening, had seemed a little depressed even. When she took the coffee inside she saw him sitting in his favorite spot on the sofa but staring into the ceiling with a blank look in his eyes. He had not even registered her presence and it seemed as if he had forgotten about the coffee he had requested.
Nidhi: "Your coffee. Please drink or it will get cold."
Ashu: "Keep it here and go to sleep."
Nidhi: "No, I have to read about something, you know that little boy on bed no 12..."
Ashu: "Hmmm..."
It always amazed her that he somehow remembered the case of every patient who was admitted in the hospital like the back of his hand. She realized he had been like that, a little lost, at the hospital all day that day. He never forgot a thing and he always gave good insight about patient cases but that day he had been giving some absent-minded answers. "What was he thinking?" after giving him another look she went back to her reading. She did some research on the case and realized that Dr. Ashutosh's coffee was untouched and he was still sitting in the very same place but with a paper in his hand. "What was that? What was written in that?" So she silently picked up the coffee and left. Her thoughts were with her husband while her feet took her in the direction of the kitchen. On the way back she saw the light that was peeping out from under the door of BB's room. Curiosity got the better of her and she went in to check on him only to find that he looked like a mirror image of Dr. Ashutosh, even BB was sitting in his arm-chair staring into space.
Nidhi: "Baba, what is the matter. Are you not feeling well?"
BB: "No, Nidhi...No, I am... I am fine beta. Just thinking something."
Nidhi: "Thinking so much that you did not even touch your medicines. What is the matter Baba, can I help? Will you not tell your grand-daughter?"
BB: "Nidhi, where is Ashu? Did you talk to him today?"
Nidhi: "Why Baba, he is in our room? He seems fine but there is something...I can sense it."
BB: "You know beta, tomorrow is one of the most important days in my entire life. It was the day I met my Ashu and brought him home. We became a family, spent so many wonderful years together but I could never make him forget this day or how he came into my life. And then I left Ashu without telling him and went away to JS. I have hurt him a lot."
Nidhi now got scared now thinking what Dr. Ashutosh was going through sitting all alone in that room.
Nidhi: "Baba, Have you ever spoken to him about that?"
Even as she asked this question her heart wept for the lonely boy... And she found herself walking in the direction of their room... the time to talk had suddenly arrived, out of the blue...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Friends, once again sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Hope you will all enjoy this. As usual your comments and criticisms are welcome. And please, if you enjoyed reading, hit the 'LIKE' button too. 😃 Thank you.
Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Mangal Lakshmi
