Selection Process for BB-7 (Inside Report)

BIG BOSS (Cheerful, booming Voice): Raj----Salman----Jessu! Woh ghadi aa gayi hai, jab hamein Big Boss-7 ke liye ghar waalon ka final chunaav karna hai! ------------Big Boss chaahte hain ki aapke saamne rakhe hue naamon mein se aap sabhi, --------mil-julkar nirnay karein-----ki kise Big Baas-7 mein chuna jaana chaahiye, aur kise naheen!😛

JESSU GEORGE: Saar, Saar! Same guideline naa?😲 2-3 fighter types, 1-2 weepy-weepy Rondu types, 2-3 Sooopar Sexxxy babes, 1 Sylvie-Laxmi type-----1 kaameydiyan! -----Right Big Baas Saar? Salman Saar??

BIG BOSS (Coughs): Ji haan Jessu! ☺️

SALMAN: Abey suno, abey Suno! Sabse pehle toh Tanisha Mukherji ko lo.😛

RAJ NAYAK: Tanisha who?🤓

SALMAN: Abey Kajol ki behan yaar!😡 -----------Ajay (Devgan) aaya thha mere paas!------ Tedhi garden karke bol raha thha, "De yaar Salman, Meri Saali ko kuchh kaam! Din bhar ghar mein rehti hai---aur Saasu Maa ke saath mil ke, Kajol ka dimaag kharaab karti hai yaar!"😕------Maine bol diya usko, "Chinta mat kar Ajay, a friend in Need is Salman indeed!"😉 ---Chalo next naam bolo. Jaldi!😛

BIG BOSS: Salman-----Big Boss chaahte hain, ------ki ek khaas vidooshak kism ka aadmi liya jaaye, jo darshakon ka bhar-poor manoranjan kare.😆

RAJ NAYAK: Big Boss, I have the statistical data compiled by our team of MBA interns, that shows Vrijesh Pagloo Hirjee and Raju Shrivastav were hired as Comedians but were complete disasters.😲--- We should be careful when it comes to Comedians.

SALMAN: Abey! Picchla saal bhool gaye kya?😛 Jab Doob raha thha show poori tarah--- Kisne kiya logon ko entertain? ----Kisne bachaayi Big Baas ki laaj?🤡 Bolo, Bolo, Tell-tell----😆

JESSU GEORGE (places his index finger on right cheek and says with a loud smile): Time Out Saar, Time Out!😊

SALMAN (Blows his top and screams furiously): 😡Apni hudd mein raho Jessu!---------- Apni hudd mein raho tum. ---------Bhool gaye, kitne SMS kiye tumne mujhe Viacom 18 mein Naukri dilaane ke liye? 😡😡---------Tumhari wazah se naheen bana hai Salman Super Star!---------apni Mehnat aur apne fans ki Mohabbat ki wazah se bana hai Salman Super-Star!😡😡😡

JESSU GEORGE (Shivering & shit scared): Saar! I meand Imam Siddique Saar. He enderdained, he zimbly saved the season Saar!"I was just kaapying him Saar---just kaapying!!😒

SALMAN (Quickly Cools down): Hmmm! OK. ------------Ye dekho Andy! Ye Imam ko poora copy karne ki koshish karta hai! DONE HAI YE-----Next please

BIG BOSS (sheepishly): Err---wo----mmm---uunnn----Big Boss chaahte hain ki, 2-3 Sundar, Chikni ladkiyaan bhi final kar lee jaayein.😳

RAJ NAYAK: Here Big Boss. 😛--My team of MBA interns have compiled this dossier with portfolios of fifty seven eligible girls for this season-------

SALMAN: Abey tere dossier ki Maa ki aankh! Ye---isko lo!--------------- Sweden mein mili thhi mujhko. Dekh, dekh---hai na Sexy?---Ye Elli Avram!😛

BIG BOSS (Coughs):😕 Salman, 2 saal pehle aapke kehne pe, Big Boss ne Mehak Chahal ko liya thha jisko aap Norway se laaye thhe, -----------picchle saal aap Sana Khan ko laaye thhe---- Darshakon ne kaafi mazaak udaaya thha aapka---😕

SALMAN (Shrugs his shoulders & angrily screams): 😡Hunhh!-------- Kya ukhaad liya darshakon ne mera? -------------Hain? Kya ukhaad liya?--------- ---Teri aisi ki taisi Big Boss. ----------Chal final kar Elli Avram ko aur saath mein England ki Hazel Keech ko ---------------aur meri personal favourites Pratyusha Bannerji aur Gauhar Khan ko bhi.-------------- Jaa bol de, Salman ki choice hain chaaron!----------------Saala, har saal ek ko laata thha,-------------- is saal chaar-chaar ko tere show mein ghusaunga!--------- Kar le kya karta hai!😡😡

BIG BOSS (Panics): Salman aap krodhit naa hon. Big Boss ne hamesha aapki har icchha ka poora samman kiya hai----😭

SALMAN: 😡Abey apni Icchha ko tu kacchha pehna! ------Hunhhh! Hazel, Elli, Pratyusha aur Gauhar FINAL! Next---😡

There is a knock on door!

SALMAN (Angrily): 😡 Kaun hai be? Doon kya kaan ke neeche? Doon kya? Abey shakal dikha kameeney---😡

Shilpa Agnihotri's scared face peeks in from slightly opened door.😲

RAJ NAYAK: Yes? How can we help you?😊

SHILPA: Good morning Sirs. -------Wo maine socha Big Boss Season-7 mein entry ke liye apply karoon---

SALMAN: Wow aapne SOCHA! -------Just socha aur munh utha ke chal diye Big Boss ke daftar! ---Wow!

(Jessu & Raj suppress their giggles)!😆

SHILPA: Sir mere saath mere husband bhi aaye hain. Hum dono Brahmins hain Sir------

SALMAN (Angrily): 😡 Brahmins ho dono? Toh kya naachoon? Party doon duniya ko?--------Chalo----- Andar aao dono!😡

Apurva & Shilpa Agnihotri nervously enter the room! Apurva is visibly shivering in fear!

SALMAN (hysterically starts laughing): Aaahahahahahaha! O hohohoho! Aahahahaha!🤣

JESSU GEORGE (Taken aback): Whaat happened Saar?🤓

SALMAN: Abey! Abey!----- Tum dono mein se Apurva kaun hai? Aur Shilpa kaun hai? -------Abey mujhe toh tum dono judwaan lag rahe ho be!🤣

APURVA: ☺️ Sir I am Apurva. She is Shilpa!

SHILPA: Yes Sir. I am Shilpa. he is Apurva! People get confused all the time Sir!😳

SALMAN: 😆 Hahahaha! Theek hai Big Boss!-------- Le lo dono ko! Bas Nomination waale din Apurva ke gale mein gende ke phool ki maala daal dena, ---------naheen toh Shilpa se chidhne waale, is bey-chaare ko Shilpa samajh ke nominate-eliminate kar denge. --------------Hahahaha😆

Apurva & Shilpa leave, both visibly very happy!

BIG BOSS: 😲 Raj, Jessu, Salman------------------ Khali Pehelwaan ko logon ne kaafi pasand kiya thha! Big Boss soch rahe thhe ki koi pehelwaan----

SALMAN:--- Abey sochta bahut hai tu! ---------Wo hai naa Sangram Singh. Mr. Payal Rohtagi. Pre-mature delivery ka case hai, badhiya rahega show mein! -Ek task bhi likh lo uske liye------------Waqt se pehle paida Hua Pehelwaan, Jai Jawaan-Jai Kisaan!

JESSU GEORGE: Sooopar Saar! Zimbly Soopar!

BIG BOSS: Hamein ak Aam Aadmi bhi lena hai is season ke liye!

RAJ NAYAK: We have a problem here Sir. -----My team of MBA interns have reported that COLORS had invited applications from fans interested in filling up one Aam Aadmi slot in BB House this time too. ----------------All responses received, are more or less on the line-"Just F. Off! In any case you only take Salman's Khaas and peddle them on TV as Kashif Quereshi the Aaam!"

SALMAN: 😔---Hunhhh! Toh ismein kya problem hai? Ye lo mera Tsunami Singh! 350 kilo ka entertainment bomb! ---------Common man ko lagega, bilkul unke beech ka aadmi hai! Chalo, Rajat Rawail done hai meri taraf se! Dekho mere saath photos iski! Kisi ko koi problem?

RAJ NAYAK (nervously):😕 No problem at all. Sounds brilliant to me---😕

BIG BOSS (Sad, broken voice): 😕Naheen Salman. Big Boss ko koi samasya naheen hai----

JESSU GEORGE (excited): 👏---Whaat praablam Saar? Its sooopar! Maaaind blwoing aayidiya Saar!👍🏼

SALMAN: 😡 Chalo bahut time waste kar liya is nautanki mein. Emotional angle ke liye Anita Advani ko final karo! ---------------Pool ke kinaare bitha ke, Rajesh Khanna ji ka gaana bajaana---wo waala-------------Zindagi ke safar mein guzar jaate hain, jo makaam, wo phir naheen aate---jaise hi rone lage, close up shots lena-----dabbbaaa ke! Dekho kaise tumhari TRP chhappar phaad ke jaati hai oopar----

JESSU GEORGE (Claps):👏Just Soopar saar! Soopar!👏

SALMAN: 😲 Saala -----saare contestants tum hi log choose karte rahoge kya?---------------- Ek meri pasand ka bhi lo! ---------Armaan Kohli! --------------Ye hai Bollywood ka asli Heera. -------------Saala, apne baap ko bol ke Jaani Dushman mein villain bana, aur kasam se kya koota thha isne Akshay Kumar ko, Suneil Shetty ko, Sony Nigam ko, Arshad Warsi ko------hahahaha!------Akshay ko solid mirchi lagegi isko TV pe dekh ke!----Ek task mein isko Naag bhi banaayenge isko hahaha!------------Chalo isko lo aur List is done!👍🏼

JESSU GEORGE:👏 Soopar Saar. You are a genius Aayi Say!

RAJ NAYAK:😕 I am pretty fine with the whole list. Sounds wonderful to me.😕

BIG BOSS (broken, emotionally choked voice): 😭--Big Boss ko atyadhik prasannta hai ki har baar ki tarah, is baar bhi hum ne ek-mat se, unanimously, Big Boss Season-7 ke liye ghar waalon ka chunaav kiya hai! Salman ki salaah par, hum ne Jannat aur Jahannum banaayein hain is baar. Aadhe ghar waale Jannat mein rahenge, aadhe Jahannum mein----------Darshak toh Jahannum mein hain hi!------------Jhelte hi rahenge ye manhoos programme-Big Baas!🤢

Originally posted by: MisZoobieDoobie

🤣

Hilarious

Btw you missed Kushal I guess

Who chose him let me guess Sallu 😆😉

Originally posted by: HemaG

its lil funny...