Suraj's Gift

Page

Next Last

Ishita131

@Ishita131

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

Im glad that Suraj gave that gift to Chhavi , it was a very sweet gesture.
But thats not what my topic is.

Everyone was so shocked and relieved when Suraj gave that gift to her, shocked that they assumed wrong and relieved that it was his sister who he got the necklace for.

My question is WHY ?
If a brother can show affection for his sister by buying her expensive gifts and a son can show affection for his parents by buying them gifts so why the hell cant he show affection for his wife by buying her a gift which may be expensive ?

I mean they all were so shocked when they thought he bought it for Sandy and went on and on about how he should not waste money like that and worry about his family too. Again WHY ?

Its the man's hard earned money and he is not obligated to give you guys anything.But he does out of the sheer goodness of his heart. It is his money and if he wants to buy his wife a gift he can. Who the hell are you to stop him ?

But as soon as they came to know it was for Chhavi it was all fine. WHY ?

So what if he spend 55 thousand for his wife ? Is that such a bad thing ? Getting your wife something to show your appreciation, your love for her ?

I remember that track when bhabho came to know about SurYa not having a physical relationship and how she went stark raving mad about it.

So you want your son and DIL to have sex but him showing even an ounce of love is tabooed and worthy of calling him a jhoroo ka ghulam ?

The CV's may have not intended for it to look like that, but to me it did.

And it really pisses me off that in that whole household the only people who really truly care for SurYa are his dad, Emily, Chaturi, and Chotu. Chhavi's affection for her brother was a welcome surprise and for the first time it was real affection and not just because she wanted nice gifts and he was the only one who would give it to her.

Edited by Ishita131 - 12 years ago

Quote

Frequent Posters

skar1984

@skar1984

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

@Topic Maker - I couldn't agree with you more. You've pretty much put my thoughts in writing under this post. It really is a shame and this goes beyond the world of DABH into reality where a married son living in a joint family is considered "ideal", "loving", "caring", "thoughtful" over all good - if he does something for the sake of family or spends money on them or takes care of the needs of family members. The same person as a husband is singled out and looked down upon if he does something special for his wife, why this double standard? If anything post marriage husbands and wives are each other's first priority and by extension their respective families. Why is it in our culture mother in laws feel they should be placed above their son's wife in their son's life? These are the same mother in laws that were once daughter in laws and probably didn't like being no.2 in their husbands life or second fiddle to their own mother in laws.

I'm not undermining the respect and love a mother is entitled to from her kids regardless of their marital status, mothers will always hold a special place however they should also recognize the responsibilities their son is taking on by becoming someone's husband and not try to compete with that. Every relationship has boundaries - just as mother in laws should not over step their line, neither should daughter in laws. Meena is a perfect example of the reverse case here - she is selfish, greedy and a whole bunch of other not nice things - and wants her husband to only look after her and her baby - thus over-stepping her boundary and cutting into allowing him to fulfill the duties of a son and brother respectively.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

BullsEye777

@BullsEye777

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Surak had asked the same question remember? When he does anything for siblings or sister , it is his duty but when he does for his wife, he is a joru ka gulaam. Sheer double standards.

Of course if Bhabhasa were to buy anything ,it has to be for Bhabho and everything will be okie-dokie

Quote

UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Excellent post. What they showed in DABH is exactly the way it plays out in the outside world...They are showing us the reality...it is harsh but so so true...A man is supposed to bend backwards to get things for his family but when it comes to his wife nobody likes it if he does something for her...most of the saas bahu khitpit in India is a result of this possessiveness...The inability of the mother to let go...to allow her child to seek marital happiness...to expect a lot from him even after marriage...a marriage which she herself conducted. Regarding Chavvi yes she does seem to be changing...let us keep our fingers crossed.

Quote

-SamiR-

@-SamiR-

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Exactly! I also want to know why!

So when the necklace was for Sandhya: the whole RM became financially unstable and how will RP survive?! 😲

When the necklace was for Chavi: O wait .. there's nothing to worry about! RP is financially sound 😃

I'm pretty sure that's not how math/finance works 😳

Quote

UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Samir that is how Indian Psychology works......😆😆

Quote

-SamiR-

@-SamiR-

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: UMDU
Samir that is how Indian Psychology works......😆😆

😆!!

Looks like I'm in the wrong class! 😆

Quote

nikhil sahai

@nikhilsahai

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Ishita131,i agree with you dear

Quote

Ishita131

@Ishita131

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: skar1984
@Topic Maker - I couldn't agree with you more. You've pretty much put my thoughts in writing under this post. It really is a shame and this goes beyond the world of DABH into reality where a married son living in a joint family is considered "ideal", "loving", "caring", "thoughtful" over all good - if he does something for the sake of family or spends money on them or takes care of the needs of family members. The same person as a husband is singled out and looked down upon if he does something special for his wife, why this double standard? If anything post marriage husbands and wives are each other's first priority and by extension their respective families. Why is it in our culture mother in laws feel they should be placed above their son's wife in their son's life? These are the same mother in laws that were once daughter in laws and probably didn't like being no.2 in their husbands life or second fiddle to their own mother in laws.
I'm not undermining the respect and love a mother is entitled to from her kids regardless of their marital status, mothers will always hold a special place however they should also recognize the responsibilities their son is taking on by becoming someone's husband and not try to compete with that. Every relationship has boundaries - just as mother in laws should not over step their line, neither should daughter in laws. Meena is a perfect example of the reverse case here - she is selfish, greedy and a whole bunch of other not nice things - and wants her husband to only look after her and her baby - thus over-stepping her boundary and cutting into allowing him to fulfill the duties of a son and brother respectively.

And I completely agree with you. It's sad that all the discrimination's happening against the woman are done by a woman herself. I mean you'd think the saas would not want her bahu to go through what she went through when society as even more harsh but no, she does the same to her own bahu.

And whats more sad is that said bahu is the only one who truly cares about the house , who is selfless enough to love even hose who would care for their enemy more than they would for her.

Quote

Ishita131

@Ishita131

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: -SamiR-

😆!!

Looks like I'm in the wrong class! 😆

No you're not in the wrong class. The thing is there's no class at all. Nobody wants to learn the ways of the new world. Being traditional is nice, but tradition does not say you need to be hypocritical Bas****s who cant admit they've been proved wrong.That's why I like Maasaa. She was one of those people but atleast she admitted that she was wrong and Sandy was right and she does not hate Sandy for it but instead respects her even more.

Our Indian culture is not sadist that likes seeing people being tortured in the name of religion and culture and the fact the the elders care more about what society will think than they care about their children. They just bend it all according to their needs and have twisted notions about what tradition is.

I'm not saying everyone is like that . Thank God for small mercies.😛

Quote

1 2

Suraj's Gift

Related Topics

Explore Topics