Grandparents re-marrying?

The trend is very new in India, but I have seen senior citizens getting married (if their spouse is no more...obviously..:P) They also need companionship, and marriage is a great way to find a companion.

DO you think its okay for them to re-marry?
How'd you react if your grandfather/mother came and told you that they're re-marrying?
Would you support them or oppose them?
Would you feel awkward?

I think we should support them... after all its their life and they know far much better how to lead it! About feeling awkward,i think its just perception of society that creeps up on individual decisions. When granpa/ granma are happy, so keep it cool dude! 😉 😛 Why worry or feel awkward?

Originally posted by: datspreets

The trend is very new in India, but I have seen senior citizens getting married (if their spouse is no more...obviously..:P) They also need companionship, and marriage is a great way to find a companion.

DO you think its okay for them to re-marry?
How'd you react if your grandfather/mother came and told you that they're re-marrying?
Would you support them or oppose them?
Would you feel awkward?

I really wonder if Solo grand parents in India or south eastern countries wish to get a companion in such old age.See!! There is something called "Renunciation" ,its generally adapted in old age.

In old age,grand parents should be taken proper care by our parents(i',e their Sons and daughters).This is the beauty of old age.That's not the age to start afresh.

In old age,old people can have old friends but need not marry.This idea of marriage in old age sounds filmy!!!!

However, Marriage is a Private affair.

cheers,

Mythili

Unfortunetly in todays real life, with kids being so busy there is no time to take care ones own kids live alone their parents! As a parent do I expect them to take care of me? the answer is "NO". Even if they take care of you physically such as food, water, etc in Maslows hiearchy of needs love,compassion is something that is very important. It is something that qualifes your live. It is something that only a right partner can give. Kids give it to a certain extent, but it is not the same as a husband, partner, companion can give it you.There is a Kannada film by Kavitha Lankesh called "Preethi,Prema, Pranaya" which really shows this issue very well. There is nothing wrong if the older people want to marry. The main point we need to understand is as partners they are looking for companionship/partnership/wavelength/maturity and NOT just sex as we usaqlly perceive it to be 😊 .

Originally posted by: mythili_Kiran

I really wonder if Solo grand parents in India or south eastern countries wish to get a companion in such old age.See!! There is something called "Renunciation" ,its generally adapted in old age.

In old age,grand parents should be taken proper care by our parents(i',e their Sons and daughters).This is the beauty of old age.That's not the age to start afresh.

In old age,old people can have old friends but need not marry.This idea of marriage in old age sounds filmy!!!!

However, Marriage is a Private affair.

cheers,

Mythili

I totally disagree there.See thats what we expect.We expect our gradparants and elders to sit and home and take care of us..or we take care of them!!They rant slokas all day along and gossip in th evening.In short even if they want to do something different they are not 'supposed to' cause they are old and have no right to enjoy pleasures of life anymore.

I think its an individual choice !He or she should be allowed to live the life they want to and the way they want to live it.

I for one would like to be independent till the day i die and never be dependent on my children no matter how loving they are!..Do things I wish i to do (see just because we grow old doesnt mean we have to stop enjoying life!After all this is one life!)

About Marriage well I think its a personal choice but then again there should no society hypocrisy that should prevent someone from getting married if one wants too .Forget marriage ..In Indian society old people are just supposed to show they enjoy life!!And for this 'renunciaton period' well not everyone can get pious at that age.Some are really young at heart but hell no we would like to confide them to the four walls of our house and stop them from doing something worthwhile!

Originally posted by: datspreets

The trend is very new in India, but I have seen senior citizens getting married (if their spouse is no more...obviously..:P) They also need companionship, and marriage is a great way to find a companion.

DO you think its okay for them to re-marry?
How'd you react if your grandfather/mother came and told you that they're re-marrying?
Would you support them or oppose them?
Would you feel awkward?

Are you serious Preeti?? 😃

• I think it is absolutely fine.
• I would be delighted to know that they have a companion in their life when every second is taking them farther from itself.
  
• I will go out of my way to support them if necessary.
• Awkward?? neyy.. On the contrary I will be happy to know thet they have a loving care who is doing it without any sense of duty and only because of love and mutual necessity. I will hope that she could be a trend setter.
  

[quote=a4j4ever]I totally disagree there.See thats what we expect.We expect our gradparants and elders to sit and home and take care of us..or we take care of them!!They rant slokas all day along and gossip in th evening.In short even if they want to do something different they are not 'supposed to' cause they are old and have no right to enjoy pleasures of life anymore.

I think its an individual choice !He or she should be allowed to live the life they want to and the way they want to live it.

I for one would like to be independent till the day i die and never be dependent on my children no matter how loving they are!..Do things I wish i to do (see just because we grow old doesnt mean we have to stop enjoying life!After all this is one life!)

About Marriage well I think its a personal choice but then again there should no society hypocrisy that should prevent someone from getting married if one wants too .Forget marriage ..In Indian society old people are just supposed to show they enjoy life!!And for this 'renunciaton period' well not everyone can get pious at that age.Some are really young at heart but hell no we would like to confide them to the four walls of our house and stop them from doing something worthwhile![/quote]

👏 👏 👏 excellent explaination... you completely ecohed my thoughts! Grandparents do have right to live and make their decisions which they think are best for them... after all its their life, no one have the right of pointing fingers at their marriage decision... its more of campanionship ..a meaningful one!

By the time we become grandparents, I think remarrying will be quite the norm! 😆

Originally posted by: datspreets

The trend is very new in India, but I have seen senior citizens getting married (if their spouse is no more...obviously..:P) They also need companionship, and marriage is a great way to find a companion.

DO you think its okay for them to re-marry?
How'd you react if your grandfather/mother came and told you that they're re-marrying?
Would you support them or oppose them?
Would you feel awkward?

It is a good change.

I think old age is the period where one needs a life partner more . I am a big supporter of this change.

However I noticed that children easily tolerate their father's second marraige than their mother's. This trend should be changed..Woman need a life partner too.

Originally posted by: mythili_Kiran

I really wonder if Solo grand parents in India or south eastern countries wish to get a companion in such old age.See!! There is something called "Renunciation" ,its generally adapted in old age.

In old age,grand parents should be taken proper care by our parents(i',e their Sons and daughters).This is the beauty of old age.That's not the age to start afresh.

In old age,old people can have old friends but need not marry.This idea of marriage in old age sounds filmy!!!!

However, Marriage is a Private affair.

cheers,

Mythili

I agree with you Mythili Dadima..!!!😉

My instant reaction was the same as everyone who believes a person has a right to marry at 90 if they want to but on a second thought renunciation sounds valid... I remember Bhilwara had explained in a post how life is to be lived in 25 year period as explained in scriptures and after living thru Grahasti period , one needs to move onto next chapter in life.

Marriage can be difficult even for the 1st time but in re-marriage both partners have to deal with 2 sets of families including grandchildren.

No wonder it was reported in the news last week that for the first time in USA there were more women single then married, 51% . I guess we should stick to the norm practised for thousands of years in this case.

Originally posted by: Bhilwara

Age Limitations?!

We can find root cause of these behaviors in the texts of Hindu Vedas, Upanishads and Epics, where sages have established four kartavyas of a human life.
Brahmacharyashram, meaning from age 1-25 you study.
Grihasthashram, from 25-50 you stay married & enjoy family life.
Vanaprasthashram, from 51-75 you detach from family.
Sanyasashram, after 75 you go to jungle and sit under the tree till u drop dead!
And over the thousands of years we've been preached to follow this surefire plan. Society today may not be literally following these guidelines strictly but still....

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=451862&T PN=2