Posted:
I don't normally put on my thinking cap. Maxine prefers not thinking to thinking. Because not thinking means not knowing and friendzzz, on IF- ignorance really is bliss. But today, the natural order of things has been disturbed. My feeble grey cells have been stimulated. The neurons are firing and they all speak one word and one word only.
P.L.A.G.I.A.R.I.S.M.
Like Orgasm. Minus the Orga.
Some people prefer Plagiarizing to Orgasming. Fifty shades of grey is a best-seller, wot.
Other people, like us- Cheerless souls, tight-assed enough to not know what orgasming is, plagiarize unknowingly. And therein lies a problem. People who give themselves multiple orgasms just by existing dislike people who plagiarize without knowing what f**kery they are not committing by orgasming incessantly.
And so, with what was left of my grey cells, I decided better to come up with a guide.
An idiot's guide to writing FAN FICTION (IPKKND specific FAN FICTION, so far) without being accused of plagiarism.
1). No Ferraris. Premier Padmini chalega. But Ferraris are for the haves, not the have nots. And so, if you DON'T come first thing in the morning when you see your pretty face in the mirror- no Ferrari for you, capische?
2). No Bourbon. No Scotch. Desi Daru allowed hai. Johnny Walker Blue Label ke baare mein sochna bhi math, you bloody have-not.
3). Om, Jai and Jagdish are available. As are Peter Parker, Kris Kringle and Clark Kent. Saala Ratan ya Pratap naam rakha toh Chetak ki kasam- you're dead effing meat.
4). No mafioso. Gigolos are allowed. No mafioso. They be too cool for the have-nots.
5). No, absolutely no calling out someone else's name while having sex. I mean if Khushi and Lavanya are doing it, they can say Arnav- but apart from that, stick to the ones in bed. Calling out other people's names during the act is meant only for the haves. If you don't know how to masturbate, your imagination clearly doesn't extend to fantasizing about other people in bed. OK?
Feel free to add more if you can think of any. My thinking time is done. I am going to practice trying to be a have. (think what you like😛!) After all, one must climb the social ladder even if it is a slippery slope and the air at the top is so rarified one needs a mask to breathe.
