Shooting Stars: Zoya's day out Pg:25 OS:4 (1/1) - Page 7

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Sanaa629 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#61

Originally posted by: -Devanshi-

I love how you have shown Zoya in this!

The way she warns 'Tannu' to stay away from HER husband was just...mind-the-blowing!!

Aww..Asad tries to imply things but she goes blank at that very moment

'Cats were...what were the cats doing? Oh who cares? They were doing what they usually don't do' (sorry didn't quote the exact same line, directly typed it as I remembered)

Still LMAO on that line!!

It was really really nice to read Zoya going all wifey possessive!!

Well done!




Thank you!! LOL.. that cat bit was actually going through my mind.. I was literally just penning down whatever came to my mind.. 😆 I'm glad you liked it..
Sanaa629 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#62

Originally posted by: Geet_Ha

Honestly I enjoyed reading this 😊



I had a good time writing it as well 😃 So I'm ultra glad you enjoyed reading it.. Thank youuu
Sanaa629 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#63

Originally posted by: Laila2009

Extremely well written! Right amount of emotion, great visual descriptions - you know who to show us what is happening not just tell us. That's the essence of a good writer.



This comment means so much to me because you're actually talking about my writing more than the story.. and I ADORE writing fiction.. Thank you sooo much for this! 😃
Sanaa629 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#64

Originally posted by: amri123

hey

i honestly don't know why you aren't happy with this😕
i loved it!!!!!!!😃
it was totally awesome👏
i love possessive Zoya😃
and man is she good at making threats and getting her point across..hehe😆
you know, i thought Tanveer was faking it
but it turns out their actually was a mouse in her room...Percy to be specific😆
Zoya's a genius
the Raabert part was a nice twist...and well liked might i add😊
great job and please pm me whenever you write again
thanks😊




I love Zoya too.. Although I enjoyed writing this.. it just didn't flow the way I wanted it to.. So I guess that made me slightly unhappy.. Thanks a lot!!😊
Sanaa629 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#65

Bargaining

"Ammi, I'm going to the office." Asad announced to his mother who turned her round, fair face towards him, her eyebrows raised.

"I'm not the one you should be saying that to." She replied with a hint of amusement in her voice, as she winked at Najma across the table. Najma immediately ducked her head down and covered her mouth, stifling the giggles that erupted from the pit of her stomach.

Asad could feel blood rush up to his face, as he turned right and addressed his darling wife. She didn't even look ashamed to say the least. In fact, a dimple in her cheek was giving away her delight at the whole situation while she continued munching on her toast.

Wow, didn't this girl ever get embarrassed? Didn't she have any 'hayaa' [Shame] in her? He cleared his throat once, expecting her to look up. But unfortunately, she didn't budge at all and seemed more concentrated on her toast and Jam! Embarrassed, he looked around the table, registered the smirks on his mother's and sister's face and noticed Tanveer's disapproval.

"Jammy," Tanveer began but was interrupted by Najma, who quickly offered her some more Jam and distracted her in a conversation.

Ignoring that, he tried again, clearing his throat a lot louder and feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Nope, no response! Oh, for the love of God! This woman knew exactly how to push the wrong buttons!

"Zoya!" He almost demanded, then realising the tone he used, quietened down. She looked up at him innocently,

"Yes?"

And all of a sudden, the words died in his throat. Just one look from her made him stop in his tracks, question what he was doing, and wonder how he was still alive! Wasn't this what they called 'kaatilana'? No! This was no movie! She was his wife for goodness sake. True, he'd only married her a few days back, and adjusting to a different lifestyle had taken a lot out of him. Sharing his room, his bathroom, his bed and his time were just some of the things he'd never done before. But now, having to do all that, especially with her whom he adored so much and not knowing her feelings at the same time was frustrating him. And it took him a lot to bite back his snappish behaviour.

"Well.. I.. uhmm.." he stuttered around trying to form a coherent sentence in front of her.

Immediately, he saw a glassy shine fill her beautiful eyes, and her dimple deepen as she tried her hardest to hold back laughter. Najma had already given in to her giggles while Dilshaad was trying her best to hide her face with a glass of water. Great, they all had to have fun at his expense didn't they! Except Tanveer, maybe. Tanveer was flashing a pitiful look him. Damn it, he'd rather take laughter any day.

"Go on.." Zoya urged, recovering first.

"I'm going." He said robotically. "To the office. Allah Hafiz"

And before they could take the mick out of his situation, or force him to say anything more, he strode forward, one hand holding his briefcase and another let loose. That hand automatically found Najma's head, giving it a quick swipe. Najma's giggles faltered as she indignantly looked at her Bhaijaan's retreating back, before bursting into peals of laughter again and mentally hi-fiving her mom! She'd never seen her brother become so uncomfortable before!

"Anyways, I have to go sort out some clothes." Dilshaad announced, taking her plates from the dining table. Zoya got up with her, clad in her jeans and long top.

"I've got afternoon classes and a test I haven't studied for." Saying that, Najma also scraped back the chair and ran to her room.

"Ohh.. look. Asad has forgotten his phone! That boy!" Dilshaad sighed, noticing an I-phone sitting on the table, next to his plate. "Zoya, can you hurry up and take it to him?" She asked, while Zoya was balancing two plates with glasses on top, and a jug of water in the other hand.

"Zoya is busy Khala. I'll do it." Tanveer volunteered, getting up.

Mrs Asad Khan immediately saw red and kept everything back on the table.

"Don't worry Tanveer. I'm his wife. I'll do it!" She gave a cold glare to the other woman, while Dilshaad swiftly walked away to the kitchen. Of course, no wife liked another lady dominating over her husband. Laws of nature, she chuckled inwardly, and left the two at it.

Without wasting any more time, Zoya picked up his phone, made a diversion to their room, and rushed to the entrance, hoping he hadn't left yet. Luck must have been on her side, because as she reached just outside the door, she saw him coming back.

"Uhmm.." he stuttered initially, while Zoya waited for him, a slight sign of amusement written about on her face. "My phone.."

"Here you go." She replied, giving him one of her charming smiles and holding it out for him. He extended his hand, and let his fingers brush her palm for a tad second longer before lifting his phone away.

Zoya felt her heart beat increase as soon as his gaze locked onto hers and she felt his touch. He was the only man that had ever made her feel this way! The only man for whom she was ready to fight the world for, then what on earth was Tanveer? She could face a thousand 'Tanveer's for one Asad. And true, he hurt her sometimes. He caused her indescribable pain when he wouldn't believe her or trust her. But the real truth was, he was the only one who had the ability to make or break her. And she knew she'd taken a leap of faith by getting married to him, especially when he hadn't proved himself to her. But she hoped it would work. She prayed he would put her above all else, like she had put him.

"Oh and.." she began before he turned away. "I brought you this as well." She held out another black coat, and pursed her lips as he looked at her in confusion. "Don't shout.." she pleaded innocently.

It took a lot for Asad to hold back a smile that was hell bent on portraying itself at the earnest look on her face.

"Why would I shout?" he questioned.

"Because" She took a deep breath and ranted off really quickly. "There's a coke stain on the sleeve of this coat, and everyone was laughing at you on the table because it's the first time you hadn't noticed something like this." Asad frowned as he tried to understand the few words he caught.

Coke stain, sleeve, laughing, first time.. Right.

Feeling embarrassment fill up in him for the nth time that morning, he shrugged off his coat from his broad shoulders. Zoya looked down, afraid of the oncoming slaughter she might have to go through. Instead, she saw him silently holding the coat out to her! He hadn't shouted at her! He hadn't even begun..! Wow! This was definitely a new Asad. As she was about to give him the other coat, her eyes noticed a figure standing stealthily by the doorway, a few metres away from them. Immediately, her brain started kicking into fifth gear as she realized it could be no one other than her rival living in the very same house as hers.

An idea suddenly hit her, and grinning cheekily, she purposely helped her husband into the coat (after putting the other one neatly aside) and walked around him making sure the back of his collar was fine. When she reached the front, she stepped up closer to him, adjusting his tie, though it wasn't even needed. Her heart jumped with glee as she could picture Tanveer narrowing her eyes in immense jealousy.

Hah, she thought to herself. Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan was on fire today!

Her hands, of their own accord, went back to his collar, straightening the folds and spending as much time on his body as they could. She began feeling intoxicated at his closeness. Her actions became slower and more forced as she tried her best to concentrate on her job.

Asad meanwhile was left speechless! He enjoyed the hold she had over him, and the wife-ish actions she was taking. In fact, instead of feeling embarrassed like he otherwise would have been, he loved the tiniest touch from her and the physical proximity between them. Her face was up close to him and he felt her uneasy breath lingering around his neck. At this point, he wanted to let go of his inhibitions and just slide his hands around her waist, taking her up in hug so warm and passionate that she would be left breathless!

Finally, when Zoya had no other reason to let her hands wander around on his body, she reluctantly dropped them. The moment she'd actually felt his breath mingling with hers, her heart had begun racing at an alarming rate and all thoughts about making Tanveer jealous were thrown out of the window! The musky cologne she'd gifted him a day after their wedding had also become a traitor to her not to mention the after shave he used that she loved so much. Everything about him just pulled her towards him all the more! Finally, when she managed to regain the little senses she'd been left with, her body followed her mind and she took a small step back.

"Okay'" she breathed. "That's done." Her speech came out a little flustered, as she felt light headed and heat rush up to her cheeks. Asad noticed her lashes drop low and her face colour up. And this time, he could not stop a small smile from forming on his face.

"So you do blush." He found himself whispering, as she shot her head up the next second. Her eyes widened at his line and the slight smirk on his face. Finding herself at a loss of words, she opened her mouth, but closed it again, feeling her face turn redder if it possible! At a sheer loss of what to do, she lowered her gaze once more.

Asad brought up his hand to slide out the hair which was curtaining her face. He leaned down and placed his lips on her cheeks instinctively letting them linger for a minimum of three to four seconds, before drawing away.

"Allah Hafiz." He said huskily near her ear, and finally turned around and walked back to the car.

Zoya's hand flew to her cheek as she tried to re-live the moment between them. Her dimples deepened on the sides of her face, as she picked up the dirty coat shut her eyes in excitement and slowly, but giddily made her way back to the house. Allah Miyan! Did Mr Khan smile? Did he know how to smile? Giggling softly, she shook her head. Her heart was pumping hard inside her body, making every cell within her feel alive right to the tips of her fingers. Trying to make Tanveer jealous had given her a lot more than she had bargained for.

As Asad drove out of the compound, he whistled the well-known tune of 'Jaane Kyun' from Dil Chahta Hai, feeling the happiest he had been, in probably years! He loved his family. He loved his life. And most importantly, he loved his wife, Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan. For the first time, Asad was really and truly grateful to the creator for giving him everything he had.

Who knew, he wondered with a small smile, that when he'd purposely forget his phone at the table, he'd get a lot a more than he'd bargained for?!


**************************

Heyy guys!

Wrote this sometime just before the disaster wedding episode. When I still believed the wedding would happen. Anyway, after seeing how painfully slowly the track is moving, I thought we all needed to cheer up! So this is my short and maybe futile attempt. Though I did enjoy editing this and rewriting stuff a lot! 😃

Please do leave your comments!

Love,
Sanaa
Edited by Sanaa629 - 12 years ago
wilddevil2010 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#66
Futile? This is one of the best OS that I have read in past few days.

This beautiful OS brought an instant smile on my face.

Different from the slow depressing track. I totally loved it.

The shy and sweet Asya romance, so endearing. Asad miyaan doing it deliberately sigh!!.

Please do write more.
Edited by wilddevil2010 - 12 years ago
-RM- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#67
Awww ❤️

Wish to see it on screen too 😳 👏 👏
sweetnandu thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#68
awesome..
so cute..
hope to c such things in serial too..
minus Tanveer though😆
-Devanshi- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#69
Stop making me blush!!!

This was so CUTE!!

You understand Asad so well! Every word and action of his was just within his character! Besides, the fact that they are newly wedded and all just adds to it.

I am ecstatic imagining the expression on Tanveer's face. It is something that we don't see a lot on the show but thankfully in the fiction world people are still happy when evil does not win. Who would've thought that?😆

Most of all I love Zoya's thoughts and the reaction of her body when she is near him. It was just perfect...to the T!!

Lovely lovely OS! It made me giggle after ages. A job well done!:)
CutiepieHarshad thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#70
awesom part
loved it
plz cont soon

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