I will not forget you as long as I live.
June 8th 2008-the proposal
I am about to propose to the woman I love. We meet about 5 years today it was love at first sight, I remember fondly of that day, that day was perhaps the best day of my life. I did not know what love is or what it felt like. Love was a different feeling one I couldn't read or understand.
My heart was and is driving me mad with the content drum beats it makes whenever I hear her name. The name I hear these drum beats too is, Roshini.
Roshini, was the name I could not speak till now, not only my heart but my mind played tricks on me on saying her name, every time we met I could not call her by her name, whatever was the condition for this did not know.
My heart bleeds in every memory of Roshini, today just happens to be the sixth anniversary of when I asked her to marry me.
I fail to get up and move as my body is frozen, it as through it is frozen in time, my body is telling me it does not want to move, my heart is listening to my body and it has stopped making the usual thumps it makes. The only part of my body that I can move is my head I move it slightly and see a photo of Roshani and I in much happier times, this makes me lone a tear as this picture reminded me of what could have been.
June 8th 2008 ' The proposal
I am dressed in black suite, white shirt and sliver to grey tone tie. I sit in a full restaurant waiting for the love of my life the only person to have set my world one fire, I could not think of anyone that I actively listen my heart to. Today fate has been good to me and given me this feeling that I feeling today, today I am no longer a person with fear. I have become a mad lover that has nothing better do, my heart is telling me to scream out loud but being in this place I restrict myself from doing anything of such. I sit in the restaurant wondering how on earth fate made meet this girl.
June 8th 2003
There was a time and space for everything in my life I was a top notch police worker working for the ETF, As Arjun S.Rawte. I was working in my respective office working on some files. Then suddenly the room and the place went frozen, my tummy started going all funny I chose to ignore this and continued to work.
I sat there busily with work, I then receive a phone call from Rathore, I picked it up and he mentioned about his friend coming to meet him but he was busy doing something else, he basically asked to make sure his friend felt welcome, as I was about to put the phone down my head shoots up, the corner of my eye sees a girl walk in I shut the phone off and I thump it on the table.
I couldn't not stop staring, I did not know was happening to me but all I knew this was happening for the first time. The girl waves and mentions her name, Roshini. There my heart made and has continued making a drum beat noise. This ill-mannered heart of mine decided not to listen to anyone it just started thumping and I have nothing but to listen to it.
It was love at first slight, I was one who did not think this type of thing would happen to me, but it did.
Everything in life today is worth living as I live for Roshini, I feel alive because I had Roshini there at some point of my life. At every stage of our relationship was a stepping stone. She got attached and I as did I, as much I tried to stay away there was something that pulled me towards her, I still don't what that was today I tried to close my heart from her but that failed by then I was deeply, madly in love.
My body may not want to move but it will have to at some point as that is what Roshini would have wanted. I slowly get up and sit for a while pick up the photo and I smile. I remember; the thing I loved most about Roshini and that was her smile.
Roshini was the ray of sunshine in my life, every minute with her was beautiful in every moment I had my hand on the top of hers I felt she was mine, and mine only with every separation I felt alone and broken. I did not know what to do my life suddenly became Roshini, work was there but she was the important thing in my life.
The happiest I ever felt was when we got married that was a happy day for me getting the acknowledgement of spending my life with the person that I loved the most, fate destined us to be together. Roshini may not be here today but still feel that Roshini will come back to me in some form, a silly believe, I can do nothing as I was a mad lover and probably am today. She was the one that taught me to smile to the fullest.
I am yet to smile today but remembering Roshini and her beauty has made me smile this one time.
My life was with Roshini, I do not think I can give that to anyone else. As much as I try to live in the present my heart keeps me coming back to the past and this is why I remember what I have remembered. Whatever we had was special, I felt special with you and you were my only channel, the intoxication of the love you gave for me was and is only ours to keep. , I don't know how I have spent this time alone without Roshini, she was my very existence, in every breath I take there is a slight whisper and it whispers her name which manages to make my heart drum for a bit I wish there was not a moment without her.
I am crazy to only think of you as my own but my story ends with you and you only.
I will not forget you as long as I live.
Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.
I hope u like it, might write more in the future if you do.
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