OS:Little Insecurities & Craving Confessions:

She tossed and turned to her side as she felt the familiar agitation suffocating her nerves. It was insane, really, to not be able to sleep peacefully at this hour of the night, besides the fact that her husband was very much beside her resting his day's tiredness into a peaceful slumber. Shouldn't the thought give her the much needed solace like it always did?

Argh! She groaned internally making sure her sounds doesn't disturb him, as she turned around to face him and catch a glimpse of his sleeping face. It looked peaceful; with the lines in his forehead completely relaxed and his hair unbound by jell creeping onto his forehead, his eyes closed, with lashes hugging his little stubble and his lips pulled in straight as she noticed a small gulp down in this throat causing a slight movement in this neck--her husband was handsome and positively the charmer. She closed her eyes locking the beautiful face into her eye-lashes, trying to get sleep that she had been craving all night, a small smile tugging at her lips as she caught the glimpse of him under her lashes just like she expected. Her husband was the charmer!

Her thoughts resumed again pushing away any traces of sleep from her eyes as she imagined him coming down the stare case in his sophisticate three piece suit, walking in his long strides demanding attention and throwing away the authority which people seem to accept all the more readily. He was the perfect sophisticated man!

Hell! She groaned again forgetting to keep it low as she turned in the opposite direction and squeezed her eyes shut pushing away the irritating thoughts. It was stupid really, for her to even let these thoughts disturb her, because she knew these are completely baseless and would lead to no good if she allowed them to affect her. May be the pregnancy did this to her--she wondered involuntarily placing her hand on her belly which is almost flat, as of now.

It had been a little above a month since they discovered the new phase in life, she had just been conceived at that time and now it is getting close to 3 months. Although she was excited anticipating the changes in her body and her motherhood, she found herself being drawn into disturbing thoughts time and again. Sometimes she just cannot help but feel insecure in his world-- his world? Where did that come from?

She just cannot help but feel a little out of place in her surroundings in his sophisticated life, maybe she doesn't fit here? Maybe she doesn't belong here? Maybe he is just stuck with her? May be sometimes he is even ashamed of her? What if their kid wouldn't approve of her? What if when their kid discovers that her mother is such crazy, clumsy, non-sophisticated, and not-well-educated unlike their father and would feel ashamed of her? Was she ready to be the mother for the Raizada kid? Is she even eligible?

Her thought process was interrupted by uninvited tears dwelling in her eyes as she sniffed at them. Hell why am I crying? Shit! She sighed in exasperation, because she knew she was just being silly. There is no 'sense' in her train of thoughts as Arnav would claim it, if he would know. Bas Kar Khushi! She scolded herself as more tears made their way out. She sniffed again when she noticed a moment in the bed beside her. She quickly dried her tears and tugged herself inside in duvet, closing her eyes shut trying to look peaceful easing out her eye-brows from the frown that has now seemed permanent the whole night.

"Khushi?" she heard him call.

"Khu-khushi..." he gently placed a hand on her shoulder and she maintained her sleeping act.

"Khushi, I know you are not asleep..." he said gently turning her around and there, he noticed the lone tear escaping her right eye, sliding down her upper cheek and vanishing away towards her ear. The words stuck in his mouth and any trace of living lights drained away from his face as panic completely took over him. He rolled on towards her in the next instant and made her look at him turning her around more; in another swift moment he reached out to the bed-side lamp and switched it on in order to take a proper look at her.

She used the time to drain her face completely from any trace of tears and just when the light brightened the room a little she covered her face with her arm preventing the sudden illumination.

"Khushi, what happened?" He asked gently tugging her. "Are you alright, is there a problem, are you in pain, what-what is it?" he asked again as she removed her hand from over her eyes to look at him. He was hovering over her supported by his elbow and his face looked bothered. She could see the tension pouring out of his eyes and panic written over his expressions. She felt guilty'what the hell is wrong with her?

"It's nothing really" she said and brought her hand to caress his cheek. His pressed his cheek into her palm and continued to look at her. He looked right into her eyes as if trying to read her soul right through. Of course he wouldn't buy it, who is she kidding to?

"Um, I'm not able to sleep and it's so damn irritating. I have been trying but sleep just doesn't come my way, I'm just pissed" she honestly spoke with her hand on the side of his jaw, he looked positively confused and so she continued.

"I mean it's getting on my nerves that I'm just not able to sleep, and you did notice right? How little things are making me sad and teary these days--" she trailed off when he finally stopped staring into her eyes and sighed a little. He then dropped himself adjacent to her simultaneously turning off the lights'

"Come" he said extending his hand towards her and she obediently snuggled herself inside the crook of neck, while his own hand securely wrapped over her shoulders.

"Are you sure Khushi, do you feel any sickness?" he asked gently making patterns on her cheek, giving petal strokes from her earlobe towards her cheek instantly soothing her mind as she felt relief creeping into her eyes.

"I'm fine" she said in a much calm voice almost like mumbling with her sleepy head and he couldn't help but smile for himself.

"So what is it that you have been thinking?" he whispered and was only responded with silence for a good few minutes. Just when he thought she was fast asleep he heard her voice, hesitant and uncertain.

"Arnavji, what does our marriage mean to you?"

If he was dumbstruck with the sudden direction of the conversation out of nowhere, he knew better than to show his agitation towards her.

"Kya huwa Khushi" he tried pushing away the troubling thoughts in his mind but somehow he was not having a very good feeling at the direction of her thoughts, well if there were any.

"Batayiye na!" she protested.

"A lifetime with you" he answered instantly.

She sighed, how could she expect anything less from him? She was just being silly and this is just another evidence for her. But then, it was no longer about just them, was it? Was it just the new life within her she is concerned about, is it just that? Well her next question confirmed her own doubts.

"But then people change right? I mean what we share today might no longer be the same--" The insecurity has taken over her mind, much more than she would like to accept.

"What do you mean?" his voice was sudden, immediate and urgent like he was trying to control his temper in the most patient way that he could.

She should stop this right now really, because the next question popped in her mind scared her own wits!

"It's a known fact Arnavji, we are so different from each other, don't you think someone who is sophisticated, well-educated, someone with whom you can talk your business to, someone who can accompany to your business parties, and someone who fits in your high-class society, dignified, well-mannered, modern and practical--"

She was blabbering as usual and was interrupted by the sound of a heavy intake of breath, and the next moment she knew, she was pushed away gently from him on the bed'"would have made you happy in the long run" she more or less murmured as she stared uncertainly at the now standing Arnav.

"WHAT???? HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST It??" he almost barked completely taken over by his temper.

Shit, what have I done? Why can't I just shut my non-sense mouth? She looked up at him and she have seen it, the pain, the tortured look in his eyes, as if someone just hit him in the right place where it hurts; she regretted it completely, but somehow she just couldn't help herself. She knew she was being really silly and in her heart she knew all the answers to her twisted questions, but somehow for the first ever time in her life, khushi kumara Gupta Singh Raizada wanted to hear some reassuring confessions from her husband. And now she regretted her thoughts, truly and completely. Anything but the hurt look in her eyes. She got up sitting on the bed as she looked up into his eyes hesitantly.

"Arnav ji, hum--" her words stuck in her throat as he pushed his hand in the air showing her his palm not wanting to hear anymore of her non-sense.

"Just what do you think you are saying Khushi? Do you even realize your trait of thoughts? Why?? Why now?" he almost begged her in his desperation, his eyes moist a little clearly showing how much was he affected by her senseless blabber.

"I dint meant to--" she was again stopped by his hand this time a little more brutally.

"So it all came here huh? All the accusations I have thrown at you, all the insults, you never did forget or forgive completely, did you?"

"Aisee baath nahin hai Arnavji---"

"Toh phir kya khushi? How can you even think I would want anything or anyone beyond you, specially tab, jab hum--" he paused looking at her stomach, "In our new stage of life Khushi, you clearly shouldn't have all these thoughts, this just tells me how much have I failed you as a husband, you still don't trust me enough, do you?"

She gasped at those last words, her eyes going wide as she continued to look at him apologetically. She did push him more than she intended to, and it affected him more than she expected it would. Trust?Hell! The unknown tears of guilt made their way out of her eyes bringing him back to his senses. The anger from his face starting shedding away as realization dawned onto him. This was definitely not the time and state for such discussions. The least he could do was not put her to any kind of stress, whatever was it that was bugging her can wait to be sorted out later. One look at her disturbed sleep and tired eyes, he knew there are better things for them at the moment, like putting her to sleep, a proper and peaceful one.

"I'm sorry" he heard her mumble with her head down as he noticed few tear drops pouring on the bed. He sighed and stepped closer to her. With his one hand he caressed her hair over her bent head and brought his other hand to gently lift her chin, making her look at him. He then wiped the tears escaping her eyes and dried her face.

"You know what you mean to me Khushi" he said with utmost sincerity in his voice.

"Whatever it is, let's talk tomorrow okay?" he said ever so tenderly in his low voice and then bent down to place a feathery kiss on her forehead. "Sleep through this, please?" he said helping her back onto the bed and tugging her in the duvet. Suddenly tired of everything and determined to give him some space, she almost immediately drifted away into a half-sleep but definitely not a peaceful one.

Sighing to himself, he walked out of the room towards the pool side and made himself comfortable on the recliner. There was something amiss about the whole conversation they just had. He definitely might have over reacted or rather hyper-reacted but then the things she had in her mind have that kind of effect to his inner self. Those questions started questioning the roots of his love towards her; how could she? Why?

Dint she know that he loved her enough that nothing else mattered, dint she know that he loved her unconditionally and would never want anything else from what she had always been. Who else would know this better than her?

He closed his eyes in exasperation and all he could hear was her voice, actually voices of her numerous times in various occasions'

"Khushi main---"

"Hume barosa hai, aap par aapke pyar pe"

"Khushi, main promise kartha hoon, tum aur main--"

"Humesha na?

"Always"

"Khushi'"

"Hum jaanthe hai, aap bhi yahin chahthe hai, aapko kuch kehne ki zaroorath nahin hai"

His words have always been completed by her, he is not too good with words, definitely not when it comes to emotional confessions, she of all had been the only person who understood this at every stage of their relationship. What changed now Khushi?

Insecurity? Seriously khushi? Where did I go wrong? He just couldn't believe it. His ever so understanding, ever so positive Khushi--does she really feel insecure about their future? Or is it something else? His thought process continued as he slowly drifted into a thoughtful slumber. Somewhere in the middle of the night, amidst of his thoughts, he popped opened his eyes as a certain image from his memories caught his attention. He jerked into a sitting position on the recliner beside the pool as his eye-brows furrowed processing the little information his brain is trying to give him.

Aarav Singh Raizada'

Aarav never properly treated Khushi as his mom. For Aarav Khushi was more or less his dad's wife, as much as khushi tried, he still manages to stay aloof from her. Khushi never complained though--or so he thought. He had been so busy in making Aarav comfortable and giving him his own luxuries, he almost managed to ignore his relation with his mother. While Khushi still managed to stick to her own ways of bringing up the child and although they had clashes in this regard initially, he definitely did come in terms with her ways of upbringing and now he could even appreciate it. In fact he cannot even imagine his child just to be another copy of him without her flavor; he can only imagine the perfect person his child would become with a perfect combination of his intelligence and her pagalpan combined with her morals.

He smiled at that thought--their child would be perfect and most fortunate to have someone as Khushi in their life; she would make the best mother ever, motherhood perfectly suits his Khushi, in fact he was extremely content with the fact that, what he missed in his childhood, his children would have it and it wouldn't be short lived unlike him, he would make sure of that. He need not even try harder to make sure of that, because he was positive enough that he can easily fall in love with his Khushi each passing day all over again and it wouldn't be that hard at all, not for him and not for their kids.

He smiled again and suddenly it hit him. She should know all this, she should definitely know right through his words of what he thinks of her. She should hear all this coming out of his voice loud and clear. He squeezed his eyes shut--- she must be probably going through her own share of insecurities given the emotional self she is and what did he do? Regret! Regret had become a constant term for his conscience these days and each time he yelled at her, the term keeps haunting him as an aftermath. She just needed a few words of assurance and he yet again offered his senses to his temper hurting her more.

Pregnant women craves pampering. What was the purpose of reading "What to expect when you are expecting' when you don't remember to follow what you read. Damn you Arnav singh Raizada! You couldn't even utter a few confessions when your wife literally asked for it, and may be for the first ever time and you were upset because you thought she had to ask? Seriously, Damn you ASR!

**

The next morning saw Arnav jogging aimlessly around the porch at the garden nearby loosing track of the time and energy being invested, as his mind was in a mission of preparing a speech of confession to his dear wife. May be he should plan a romantic day out, may be a date, or maybe he should decorate his own pool side their own memories attached to it and --- Argh! I he groaned as he stopped running abruptly taking in deep breathes placing his hands on his hips.

"Everything is outdated, it's not working!"

The cloud above him parted as a few drops of drizzling made its way wetting the grass under his feet but his mind was totally pre-occupied to even notice his drenching self. He should talk to Aarav, its high time; he should make him understand see things in his mom way. Although he was sure Aarav practically doesn't dislike her, still they have to get closer, which will definitely boost Khushi's confidence. He have a lot of talking to do, maybe he should take her to a holiday for a couple of days; he was satisfied at his last thought and that's when he noticed the increase in the down pour and thus his wet hair and half-drenched clothes. He quickly ran across the field towards his mansion with his mission set.

Khushi walked in to their room with her mission set as well--she has good amount of talking to do too. She entered her room with utmost determination, to the site of a fresh Arnav in his changed clothes resting his head back on the recliner, his eyes closes peacefully.

'I don't think its Sunday today?' she wondered looking at his casual clothes and then she noticed the droplets of water making their way from his wet hair and dripping on his shoulders. She quickly took the towel from the table and went around standing behind him covering his head inside the towel.

"You are drenched!" she exclaimed as she set herself to gently dry his hair from the wetness.

"Khushi?" he said trying to hold her hand staying still in his position. His voice was even, whisper like and there is notion of urge in the way he called her, urge to talk, urge to put her tensions away, urge to make everything alright, all just evident in the way he called out to her.

She jerked her hand away from his hold and continued drying his air. "Basic things to learn Mr Raizada, when its starts raining, you should avoid getting drenched and run back inside!" she pointed out sarcastically.

"I was running Khushi" his simply stated making her rub his head a little too harshly.

"thand lagjathee toh?" she asked and was responded by only silence. She bent down to look at him and his expression was solid, rock-like the kind of face she remembered when she first met him. It had taken a lot actually to notice there could be other expressions as well in his face. Then she remembered'he might still be angry with her.

"Arnavji, I would like to apologize for last night, I mean--"

"Khus--"

"Nahin, just let me speak, will you?" she ordered bending to look at him and he noticed the chirpy tone in her voice, he loves her chirpy blabber so why not? What a way to begin the day with? Getting your hair drenched by your wife and hearing her adorable blabber, bring it on!

"Actually, I was just speaking without thinking, you know like the drunk blabber?"

"Oh so you were drunk?, should have told me Khushi ,company dedetaa?" and he earned a slap on his shoulder making him smile invarly.

"I mean I was not in my true senses, I was almost half asleep, I just spoke my heart without proper thinking"

"So, its in your heart?"

"Stop interrupting me Arnavji, hear me out completely!" She pouted and he could easily make out all her expressions behind his back. Yes he might just have eyes at the back as well after all!

"Okay, okay, go on" he said and folded his hands, determined to hear her out.

"Okay so yes, I mean it was in my heart, I cant deny that, but I know I'm wrong, I always knew even when I was asking those stupid questions, par voh kya hai na, my senses were resting last night and they dint help my heart to relax and before I realize the damage has been done by my mouth, are you getting me?" she looked down still rubbing gently at his hair, she heard nothing in her response.

"Arnavji!" she shook his head.

"Yes, yes, the senses so are they back now?" by now he was smirking profusely and she knew he was teasing her, she is more than happy to let him enjoy.

"Yes, very much!" she said and removed her hands from his head and folded them across her stomach lifting her chin in air. He took this opportunity to stand and finally be able to look at her standing beside her. She looked so damn fresh, without any traces of worry from last night, she looked positively relaxed and glooming; for him she looked breathtakingly fresh just like every other morning.

May be this is all what mood swings are about! Way to go Arnav!

"I mean I know I was just being utterly silly with all those 'non-sense' questions, I'm very much aware of all the answers to those questions in a way even you would not be able to answer them"

"How so?" he looked tenderly into her eyes as an adorable glint made its way in her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean isn't it obvious? You can do no better than me, I should stop underestimating myself"

"Excuse me??" he was totally amused by the change of the mood of this whole discussion suddenly.

"Aur nahin toh kya? You know it might be good to have a sophisticated wife unlike me, but it will be no good for you" He winced at her remark and her self-insult but decided to wait until she is done.

"Explain please"

"Ofcourse! I was just about to" she walked around him animatedly and she continued her well planned, well practiced speech, nervously yet in her chirpy way.

"Someone whom you can talk business to, might be good, but then---You will miss out the experience of being able to teach me---I know you enjoy it the most" she smirked and he just continued to look at her enjoying himself completely.

"Someone who is quite and calm like you might be good to be around, but then you will miss out the chance to laugh and enjoy my antics with that amused look on your face, just like you have right now" she winked.

"Someone who is well-spoken and well-mannered might really be good, but then if it's not for me, you would have never realized how much you love the 'breaking rules' and 'playing pranks' kind of craziness"

"Someone who is practical enough like you would be good too, but then who would teach you the little pleasures in non-practical things, if it's not for me? Or rather, who will teach me the reality of life if it's not for you?"

Her voice suddenly changed at the last part, the confidence in her voice was changed to something else and he became all attentive, just when he moved further to reach her and stop her from speaking further she heard her chuckle.

"Someone who might have a very good experience might really be good too, but then you will miss out the amazing chance to teach me, every bit of it" she said and smirked profusely as his face went from concern to horror to amusement to acceptance of her implication. He at once gathered her into his arms, snaking his hand around her waist and pulling her in crushing her softness with his hard self.

"Arnavji---"

"Meri sharmeeli Mrs.Raizada, besharam bangayee hai" he roamed his eyes noticing every feature of her face intently as her lips circled into her trade-mark 'O' expression. "And am I complaining?" he said and bent down to capture those circled lips making whatever she was suppose to say suppress under the kiss. He teased her for good few moments until their tongues met melting her every emotion into the passionate exchange, promising in his own way, assuring in their unique manner, conquering in his own righteous way as she surrendered herself with same intensity.

He then pulled away with utmost self control before he could get carried away and composed his mind; it was his chance to speak, it was long due already. He lifted his head a little and looked into her eyes as he prepared himself to form the right words.

"Khushi tum---"

"I'm good now, really" she cut him off and held her tighter preparing himself to not let go.

"Sh..shh just stop speaking, you speak a lot, you know that?" he whispered and she raised an eyebrow, obviously who wouldn't know, she speaks just too much.

"You are right, anyone who is like me, from my world, would have been perfect for me" he said emphasizing on 'me' sarcastically making her wince at her own words.

"But then, how would the human in me would come into existence, if it's not for you?" she looked up to meet his eyes and have seen the utmost conviction in those honey orbs.

"Main toh Rakhsash tha na Khushi?"

"Arnav--"

"shh, shh, lemme get me just speak"

"Tum jaanthi ho, why it is you and not anyone else?

Because you make feel alive Khushi, despite of your pagalpan, immaturity and craziness, you are the life breathing in me Khushi, you are the humanity within me, and although I can teach intelligence, social status, business norms and stuff to our kids, it's you who would teach them humanity, help them be grounded to their roots, and you need not even try hard for that, you just have to be you, and nothing else; you would make the best mom in the world Khushi , trust me, as good as my mother or may be even better"

Tears dwelled up in her eyes at that last statement. The last part means a lot for him to say and for her to hear, it just means a lot, too much than his eyes could express the moment. She just dropped herself on his chest hiding her overwhelming tears'yes, the pregnancy Khushi, you are not that over emotional.

He hugged her tighter and rested his head on that of hers. "Besides, who will teach them the naughtiness and the playfulness if it's not for you?" she smiled hugging closer and kissed his neck tenderly. And then she realized she dint even tell him anything about her insecurity towards the future of the kids, how did he know?

"Arnavji, how did you--"

"What did you think? It's just you who would be able to read my heart? I have equal skills sweetheart, remember it has always been a two-way communication?" he joked and they laughed lightly together.

He then held her face in his hands and made her look at him. "We will be the best parents Khushi, just don't worry, I'm here with you all along okay?" he whispered wiping her tears with his thumb and she nodded hugging him tighter. "I trust you" she whispered. And that's all he wanted to hear and that's all she needed to say, true from her heart and finally her fears and insecurities rested in peace with his much needed confessions.

Indeed they would make the perfect parents.

I teared up at the end...so good it was😳

Very beautifully written!!

You depicted every single emotion...every single thought so beautifully...

Reading it, i felt as though those thoughts were running in my mind!

very well done!!!⭐️

Amazing OS. Khushi's insecurities were not wrong they were correct and Arnav sudden reaction was because of his guilt and regret for his pervious actions. I really liked the part where Arnav and Khushi talk it all out. Khushi answered her own questions in a beautiful way and Arnav figuring out what is wrong with Khushi and clearing Khushi's fears and insecurities was another beautiful moment. ⭐️Great job! 👏

After reading this OS, I thought if this happened in the show it would have been wonderful because the characters will definitely react the way you have written. ⭐️

Please PM me your future work. 😊