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"Ranbir and I have become a lot closer now" - Deepika Padukone
Filmfare decodes the real woman behind the superstar Deepika Padukone
Deepika Padukone could probably have made it to the screen on looks alone. The camera embraces her. Many women would kill for her slender, fashion-model figure, oval face, porcelain skin and those high, exquisite cheekbones. Her eyes mirror intelligence; their sparkle demands the use of an adjective: dazzling. Only a slight bump down the plane of her long, patrician nose stands between her profile and perfection.Yet she is more than just another gorgeous face. With lightning speed, she has emerged as the most riveting and versatile performer of her generation. In quick succession, she has grabbed plum female roles in a series of blockbusters like Cocktail, Race 2 and Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. A hat-trick of hits! But that hasn't changed her in the least. She's frank enough to admit that on occasion, an eerie chill rides down her spine thinking about her success. She has introspective moments when it seems as if the walls of her well-constructed edifice will tumble down with an ignominious crash. This is what sets her apart from the rest. In a candid chat with Filmfare, the actress talks about her recent successes, her insecurities, life's mistakes and much more.
Q. You've delivered two hits this year with Race 2 and Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (YJHD). You must be thrilled.
(Smiles) Oh, yes I am. In fact, more so because YJHD was one helluva experience. Besides the fact that we were all like-minded people on the set and had a blast working together, YJHD was a physically strenuous film. We were shooting a love story but it felt like we were making an adventure film. I believe I have come into my own after the movie because my journey in life is similar to that of my character, Naina Talwar. People will understand me a lot better now that they've watched the movie. I am Naina Talwar. Also, the credit for the film's success should go to my director Ayan (Mukherjee) – the fossil.
Q. Why fossil?
(Giggles) Because mentally, he is a fossil. Having said that, I must add he's extremely intelligent, intuitive, competitive and studious. But most importantly, he's greatly sensitive to human emotions and he portrays them beautifully on screen. That's what has worked for the movie.
Q. The talk in the trade is that 2013 belongs to you. Chennai Express and Ram Leela are also releasing this year.
Well, I do have an interesting year but I didn't plan this amazing line-up. It has all just happened. The best part about it is that I've had the chance to play completely different characters. I have nothing to do with the fact that these films are releasing within three-four months of one another. I am just lucky I guess.
Q. You've raced far ahead of your contemporaries. What do you have to say about that?
It all boils down to your films, your performances and how much people love you for your work. So again, I am lucky for getting to do good work and being appreciated for it.
Q. Most girls believe you have the perfect life – you're beautiful, talented and famous. How do you see yourself?
This is my chance to tell everyone that my life is as hectic, routine and as difficult as anyone else's life. I won't call my job a job because I love what I do. I am passionate about what I do. But at the end of the day, it's still hard work. If working as a chartered accountant is hard work, so is this. It's not as glamorous as it looks. It's just that the work I do brings me fame and recognition and gives me a star status that makes me seem larger than life.
Q. Have the pressures of stardom ever got to you?
Not at all. I don't curb myself, stop myself or behave differently because of the pressures of stardom. In fact, it's because of the way I am that people probably look up to me. So I don't feel the need to change any part of me. Yes, of course, I do have to be a little conscientious of the way I conduct myself. But that's being responsible.
Q. When was the last time you felt insecure as an actress?
I feel insecure all the time.
Q. That's honest.
Well, yeah. But my insecurities have nothing to do with other people. They are my own. I never worry about what other people are saying or doing. My insecurities are all about myself. 'Am I doing well? Am I giving it my all? Are people appreciating what I'm doing?'. It's all me-related. A large part of it comes from the way I've been brought up and from what I've learnt from my father (badminton champ, Prakash Padukone).
Q. Where do you find your confidence?
(Pauses). I am actually not a very confident person.
Q. Really?
Yes. A large part of my insecurities stem from the fact that I am socially awkward. I am not confident around people. Maybe, I have become slightly more confident over the years because of my profession. When you know people are appreciating you, you tend to become more confident.
Q. So is your being a confident woman then a big misconception?
Yes, even though I have become slightly more confident over the years. Maybe, I am just a good actor who knows how to act confident.
Q. But you are competitive by nature, right?
Yes, I am competitive. I am a sportsperson. Again, when I say competitive, I don't mean I want to be one up on someone else. I compete with myself. Many a time, I sit down and reflect on my own strengths and weaknesses and focus on how I can improve. I don't look around to see what's going on. It's more about personal growth than anything else.
Q. What have you learnt from your tough times?
I have learnt to accept people and things for who and what they really are. Yes, I've made mistakes. Yes, I've been hurt badly. But I have no regrets. I have taken something back from every bad experience and never repeated the same mistakes again… because they've been my own mistakes.
Q. But we all have a few regrets. A few things we wish we could change…
But I don't. Simply because I am the person I am today because of the choices and mistakes I've made. If you've not made your own mistakes, you're never going to learn. I never listen to other people or learn from their mistakes. If someone tells me, 'Listen this has happened to me, don't do it', I'll still go ahead and do it if I feel it's right because I never want to live with any regret.
Q. Whenever asked, you maintain that you share an easy equation with Ranbir Kapoor. After all the two of you have been through, how has your equation evolved over the years?
(Pauses). Ranbir and I have become a lot closer now. I've known him for quite a while. We have a past but we consciously make sure it doesn't hamper our present. At this point, I share a great comfort level with Ranbir, probably the best comfort level ever.
Q. Today, is there anything you really wish you were better at?
I wish I was better at holding conversations with people. I am awkward with long conversations. Also, I wish I knew how to handle compliments well. Sometimes, when someone compliments me, I forget to say thank you. Neither am I good at receiving compliments, nor am I good at giving them. But I hope to change that soon.
Q. What are you looking forward to the most right now?
Well, I am happy with the choice of films I am doing. I'll soon start working on Homi Adajania's English short film, Finding Fanny Fernandez. I'm so excited.
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