Mother in law edited - Page 2

Originally posted by: khoshidarling

my first expression would be

Originally posted by: showviewer

Can't even imagine my reaction to Uma Ben, but I am already married, so no space for someone like her in my life.

My in-laws are super cool, and I am not part of a joint family so many of the things that Chhanchhan is facing I have been spared, yet I can identify with broader themes. No matter how easy going your in-laws are and long you know your spouse before marriage there is some amount of adjustment needed after marriage between a couple and with the extended family. No two households have same lifestyles and house rules no matter how similar their socio-economic background. So, there is plenty to learn, unlearn and grow. Most girls want to please the extended family of her husband after marriage to find a place in their hearts and house. Chhanchhan is going through that now...she is modern, but mordern educated girls also crave to find acceptance and make a home for themselves at husband's place. It does not feel like sacrifice but more like doing things for the happiness of loved ones whom you value, unlike others for whom we won't bend.

Originally posted by: kbtr

I am not married and am basing my answers on that. I will treat her the way she treats me. And take a lesson from her book. Sugar coat it all the way. And ensure the Father-In-Law is on my side. Not that here it matters. FIL is quite redundant here.

However, I also know that there is a lot that goes on after marriage when one "goes" to her husband's house.

For instance, my sister - I would NEVER have thought she would change so much after her marriage. There was NOBODY who could tell her what to do. All her life, she did exactly what she wanted. Even if our parents didn't like it. However, after her marriage, there were a lot of changes. When I asked her, why she is changing, she said it's about doing things for the people you love without making them feel unimportant. Our parents know that her love is always there for them. But the in-laws, they don't know that. Thankfully, her in laws don't even live in the same country! So, yeah, a lot of things that go on. Plus you don't want your husband to be pulled in two directions. And if your MIL is too immature to see that, guess, you would have to make amends for that. That is why it is better to communicate BEFORE marriage about expectations and allowances.