HELP! My parents won't let me marry the guy I love

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834074

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#41

heyy...i am her cuzin...well wen reading ur story trust me i had my own situation going on...:(...but then ur relationship is 5 years now..GOD BLESS U BOTH...!!!😊...but all i can tell u ryt now wat i am doing is ...be patient...:)

in my situation we have always tried being patient like literally always...in tuff tyms and soft ones :')...

its really hard but it will turn out well...:)..

see..its been 5 years of u guys being together its not a small tym and let ur parents realise tht u've spent 5 years of ur life wid him and if in those 5 years tht ur guy hasnt hurt u or done n e thing tht wud ruin ur respect in front of ppl...tht will make ur parents know tht he is the true guy for u...just know tht in hindi there is a saying tht Sabar Ka Phal Meetha Hota Hai😉...dont worry everything will be fine

one more thing i wanna tell u...abt him not completing his studies ask him to do so...see there is no age of studying ryt...so where u guys have waited for 5 years ...the y not a year more or so...see everthing will be ok..evryine reading ur story is praying with you..😊

and dont leave ur parents ...they have done their best to raise u...spent their life spending for each of ur hapiness...they deserve the best like you do...just give them some tym more..and make them understand ...

Take Carexxx

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791198

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#42

5 years together

The guy makes decent money

His parents approve

Am I the only one thinking do hell with the world and elope?

Hello????????

No offense but your parents are being typical dramaqueens. Don't worry...all Desi parents do that. They'll get over it after a while. The heart wants what the heart wants and after 5 years, it's safe to say the guy must be something special for you to hold on for so long.

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478400

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#43

Don't elope! That will only upset your parents more! Give your parents time. It probably came as a shock to them.

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Priya

@adesinewyorker

Beginner

Posted: 12 years ago

#44

Hi Rizzy,

It's been several months since you last updated this board on your situation. I'm not sure if you still read this but I wanted to share some thoughts that you might find helpful.

First of all, be proud of yourself for telling your parents in the first place. That takes real guts. It must have been such a stressful time in your life and you probably felt so alone during all of it. I'm so sorry that your parents were not understanding. Only you can decide what the best decision is for you but I'm sorry you lost someone you love and were hoping to build a future with.

My advice now speaks to your present and future. What are your plans now? Will you let your parents decide your marriage or do you still hope to find someone on your own? Realize that because you have already conceded to your parents by giving up your boyfriend of 5+ years, they know that their same tactics of using guilt, fear and obligation will work on you again.

Threatening suicide and to cut you off are common threats that I've noticed Indian parents make. Realize that they are emotionally blackmailing you and it is not healthy. They do so out of fear but that is their problem to deal with.

Ultimately, you have to live your life. When they are dead and gone, you still have to live with the choices you made. I hate to say this, but parents who threaten their children in such a manner are not good parents. It is toxic and will keep you from living a full life.

I highly recommend reading the book "Emotional Blackmail" by Susan Forward. It was incredibly helpful for me when I had to tell my parents that I was dropping out of a PhD program.

I wish you all the best for your future happiness.

Big Hug!