Should children be legally obliged to ... - Page 6

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Krani thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Engager Level 4 Thumbnail + 9
Posted: 12 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: maha2us

Krani, For some laws to be correct certain things have to happen. The implementation of the laws has to be good. The genuine victims must get relief and the true culprits have to be punished. No doubt in India many DILs are harassed by their parent-in-laws and also many husbands abuse their wives. But are those genuine victims approaching the law? What is the harsh truth of these ;laws which the wives slap against her husband and his family is, it is found that 98% of these laws are false and the Supreme court has accepted this. The only thing which remains is all these false 98% victims, go through endless torture as they have to fight cases in faraway towns. The wives slap cases against not only the husband's disabled parents but also against very young children in husband's joint family. All these people have to travel to faraway towns for fighting the cases and there are times all these are sent to prison also for a few days as the laws believe that the husband's family members are guilty until they are proved innocent. (That is the reality of 498a cases.) If the laws have to be effective those who misuse the laws also have to be punished heavily. Thus we could see because of these laws also the elders are not taken care of. What is the purpose of the laws, if it is found that 98% of the cases by that law are false? Are the laws there just to feed the lawyers who also cheat a lot?


You said so yourself that the people who are abused rarely approach the law, and that is the reality as often the societal pressures as well as the abuse of the family force them to keep quiet.

The percentages that are calculated are calculated from the cases that are filed - more often than not, as you have pointed out, the cases are false. The percentages are not accurate to point out that hte law is at fault when only the wrong people are filing cases. If every woman who was abused filed a case, along with the people who were wrongfully abusing the law - and then the percentages were calculated, then that would be more accurate.

However having said that, the Government should still not get rid of the law to protect women because some are able to abuse it - in that way we would be getting rid of every law that protect people. Rather the Government needs to find more effective tools to make sure such things do not happen - or if they do, the right person is punished.

Having said that, the corruption in our country is so high that if a DIL files a genuine case, and the in-laws give money etc to make her seem as a person filing a wrongful case, then she is going to be punished unnecessarily. Both, the elderly and the younger women, suffer from such kinds of abuse of the law.

Also, I would like to know where you got the statistics from?

The fact that they have to go to faraway places to fight their cases shows another fault in the Government for not making their judiciary system reliable and efficient for people to find justice. However, I would once again stress that I do not believe the law to protect the DILs should be scrapped - rather India should buckle up and start taking care of its citizens rather than caring about the politicians filling their own pockets.
Krani thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Engager Level 4 Thumbnail + 9
Posted: 12 years ago
#52

Originally posted by: maha2us

Definitely some of the DILs have genuine reason for living away from the joint family. But the wife has to talk about moving away from husband's family with building understanding with her husband. Once the husband finds the wife is responsible and understanding, he himself will accept when she says she has genuine need to live away from the in-laws. That is the way a good husband is always. However if she just like that says, his parents are nuiscance it creates chaoes in the family only.


I wonder what classifies as a genuine need?

Some women may not be able to live in a joint family, and want to live with just her husband. But what if the husband prefers living in a joint family? Does that make the woman selfish, and should she compromise? Does it make the man selfish to make the woman do something she is not comfortable with? Or should they both compromise and come at a joint conclusion?

~K
maha2us thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#53
Krani, When you say, 'I wonder what classifies as a genuine need?

Some women may not be able to live in a joint family, and want to live with just her husband. But what if the husband prefers living in a joint family? Does that make the woman selfish, and should she compromise? Does it make the man selfish to make the woman do something she is not comfortable with? Or should they both compromise and come at a joint conclusion?'

You have said the answer also. They both have to compromise and come at a joint conclusion always. In some cases, it quite happens what the wife wants to do is hindered because of the presence of the in-laws or because in-laws themselves could be insecure. There are mothers who are so jealous that they feel the wife of the son has hijacked him. In that case the wife has genuine need to say that she has to live away from her husband's family. And another case is both the husband and the wife has to take care of each other so that both of them help each other in each other's career. Things will automatically fall to the right place if both the husband and wife put understanding each other as the top priority and also improve their caring, compassion, gentleness and tenderness towards each other.

At the sametime just the opposite will happen if the wife is insecure because of the presence of the in-laws and the wife makes undue demands on the husband. As far the uncomfortable decisions both husband and wife will be forced to take atleast one or the other decision in which the other person is uncomfortable and that is the way of married life. What is important here is understanding of each other and finding the point of view of the other person. It is interesting there could be cases in which the husband and wife living away from his parents could be economically draining to the husband when the husband has to financially support his parents and also give rent for two houses instead of one. In those cases the wife has to be able to understand the position of the husband and not pester him to leave his parents especially if she is a house wife and her interests in life are not compromised..



Edited by maha2us - 12 years ago
hirudawda thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#54
Guys seriously sayin i dont agree at ol ther r so many laws in our judicial system n dey r not followed even if such laws r enacted wat is d garuntee dat d children will treat der parents well n not like servents n knowin f heart of parents dey will never complain againts der children n even if dey do den coruuption zindabad... der r many laws which r not followed n addin dis wont make any change... if u want to change somethin den spread awarenees in peoples hearts abt wat der parents did for dem den only it will make a difference...
HmmBrazen thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#55
According to me it should not happen. Okay now don't take me wrong I am a single child and my father passed away when I was 10 my mother single handedly brought me up so I have closest than ever blood bond with her. My mother is not only my mother but my Best friend and mentor and it would be nothing but a privilege for me to take care of her and provide her with all luxuries once I stood up on my feet.

But If the scenario is reversed and a child does not feels compelled to take care of its parents then law should not oblige because more than anything it would be a emotional torture that a parent will have to go through seeing the child they bought up so lovingly and gave him everything selflessly. Does not have him in it to even take minor responsibility of them even out of compassion forget love. Such forced tender.loving.care. obliged legally will only depress feeble minds & hearts of old age rather helping them.

Being said that I will also voice strongly for parents and individuals to for their retirement planning from starting of their life so that when the time comes they may not be dependent on anyone. Also before spending out chunks of money on the luxurious needs of your children think twice whether when the time comes, they would return the favor??? Lastly if a parent is not financially independent and the children don't want to make them a part of their lives the legal system should oblige them to pay them monthly allowances of reasonable amount of money and some other stashed cash for emergencies. In this scenario the national government also has a role to play for its elderly citizen. The construction of well equipped and hi-tech Old Age Homes is a step in right direction.
Edited by Ruchi-interest - 12 years ago
joie de vivre thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#56
Having children is like rolling a die. You don't know what you'll get. In the majority of the cases, parents don't get the children they'd ideally like to have. Your best bet is to hope you child doesn't turn out to be a sociopath, a psychopath, a paedophile, a rapist, a murderer, a gangster, a pimp, a drug-dealer or a fraudster.

Or come to think of it, a banker.

Or, alternatively, have multiple kids, so that at least one will look after you in your twilight years. My nan has 5 children, she's 86, and is on excellent terms with all her five children, even if it's one of her girls who looks after her the best.

DonnaHarvey thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#57
Ever heard of "you don't get to choose your family"?
The mom and the dad made the baby & faced the consequences of their action for 18 years. After that, they could call it quits if they wanted.
The child didn't do jack to come into the world, she just got lucky (or unlucky) in the genetic lottery. Why should she be forced to do work for something she had no say in?
What has been working better is social security: pensions, free housing, federal med & pharm facilities, etc. and every one pays for it depending on their pay grade. See, problem solved.


Meh, I can't stop being cynical. Believe me, I tried.

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