AshNi FF:Unspoken..I

Aah ko chaahiye ik umr asar hone tak..

Shaayad hi koi is se behtar kuch likh sakta jiska hum zindagi bhar matlab taraashte phirte!

Nidhi:

There is nothing holier,in this life of ours,than the first consciousness of love-the first fluttering of its silken wings.

On these lines..

It starts,from perhaps a few days before d new year's eve,n how in a span of a week,they just feel the underlying current of emotions,d urge,d tension and den everything snaps on d day..

I dare change those beautiful characters with whom I fell in love.From Dhoop Kinarey's Ahmer and Zoya to Kuch toh log kahenge's Ashutosh and Nidhi,there are but two things the substantial age gap story and the immense love.The Raja-titli story signifies their characters,

This was perhaps written long ago when there was a mode in the story.when there will be a phase of separation between the leads.A phase when memories kept them going,along with a deep bond of love.

Disclaimer:Going by these absurd lines,one would however guess that this is perhaps a first attempt.

It begins,from perhaps a few days before the new year's eve,and how in a span of a week,they just feel the underlying current of emotions,the urge,the tension and then everything snaps on the day..

And how they welcome the new sun,the morning chirping of birds and the cool breeze with a mug of coffee,sitting besides each other on the lawn spreading there feet and looking at the distant destiny and each blissfully finding solace in the other's presence,holding hands ..signifying a new beginning..a new year..a new chapter in their lives..

Its "Unspoken" for you..

Ashutosh opens his diary and looks at the first page,it seemed like a prologue to his own life!

Jab jab mann ko kholkar rakhtha hu aur yaadon ko alfaazon main band kar ke is sandukthi main qaid karta hu toh lagta hai ki meri zindagi ki ek saal maine qaid karke rakha hai..

Meri zindagi ke kuch panne..

Dec 21st

^Thursday

I really don't know why am I writing this.

Shaayad aj tumhaari ek jhalak hospital main dekhne ke baad,

yeh ehsaas ho gaya hai ki dil se,dimaag se kahi se bhi tum he alvida

nahi keh paaya(ha is saal ko padhke kahin zor se hasne ki aawaaz sunaayi deti hai!!)..

jhoot main tumse bol nahi sakta aur such tum sun nahi paawogi

tumhaari naam meri har saans main hai

toh zinda rehte tumhe bhoolna jaise namumkin

tumhaari khushboo ki mehek aj bhi meri kamre main hai

jinhe tumne yaad banaake chod gayi ho

Aur jab aakhon ke saamne aj aise achaanak aa gayi toh ek taraf yeh

pagal mann phir se udd chala yeh bhool kar kee us ki paron main

ab na woh pehliwaali taakat rahi na udhne ki wajah,

jab hosh main aaya toh tum wahaan se kab ki nikal chuki thi..

ek ajeeb sa khaayi chod ke

tumhaari aakhon main pehle mujhe zindagi jeene ki ek umeed dikhaayi deti thi

ab zindagi guzarne ki wajah bhi nahi dikhthi,tumhaara pyaar toh mere liye zindagi bhar ki marhamm ban gaya par badnaseebi se mere pyaar ne tumhe na raahat di na umeed balki tumse woh muskuraahat bhi cheen li jise tum is duniya ko haseen banaati thi aur meri pyaar ne duniya ke saamne ruswaa bhi karaa di..

yeh soona man ka aangan

aakhon main samandar

aur yaadon ki barsaat..

na hum bewafaa the na tum bas

kambaqt taqdeer ne bewafaayi kee

isi makaan ko kabhi tumne ghar banaane ki jurrat kee thi

tumhaari haseen ki kilkaariyan abhi goonjthi hai

har deewaar se..

is ghar ki har ek kone main tumhaare hone ki ehsaas mujhe roz ghar lautaane par majboor karti hai

meri zindagi ki dastaan ka bhi jawaab nahi

kabhi zindagi ne rooth liye mujhse

aur kabhi maine zindagi se

lekin jab tum aayi thi toh

main zindagi ko

baahon main lekar

sawar na chaahtha tha

par ab yeh soonapan dekh

kar zindagi ne bhi berukhi se sawaal ki

ab kyun?..

tumhaari wajah se shaayad mera rootha huva zindagi bhi mujh par rehem karta hota..

kaash..

ab meri zindagi main sirf yeh kaash reh gaya hai,bahut saare kaashwaale pal

jinka na koi jawaab hai na main dhoondna chaahtha hu

socha tha meri zindagi se alvida lene ke liye aayi thi us din,par ek umeed tha ki meri aakhon ke saamne toh rahogi..

magar tumne toh meri duniya se,is hospital se bhi alvida kehne ki tey karke aayi thi..

us din tumhaari aakhon main jo dard maine dekha tha us pal mujhe ghin aaya khud par,apni pyaar par,apni majbooriyon par,is taqdeer par..

agar man main jo tha use kar diya hota toh aaj yeh duniya raakh ban gayaa hota!

In do saalon main maine bhi apni roothi huyi zindagi ko kabhi manaane ki koshish nahi kee..kyunki baar baar yeh khayaal aata ki manaawu toh kis liye..

Tumhaari ek pal ki maujoodgi zindagi ki aaj ko guzaarne ya phir yun kahun jeene par majboor kardiya

Shaayad ab zindagi ko bhi mujh par aetbaar na raha..

Jab tum mere saamne aayi thi toh aisa laga ki is lamhe ko qaid karlu aur us pal ko takiye ki tale chupaalu..un yaadon ki baahon main zindagi ki raat guzaarne..

Nidhi:

Dec 21st

^Thursday

Its been more than an year since you became my soulmate listening to my everydays,my day would never be complete without writing to you,or shud I say opening up in front of you.

'Aapke kareeb bhi nahi

Aapse judaa bhi nahi.."

Unginat khath aap ke liye,isi yakeen se likhthi hu ki ek din aayega aap ko sunaane ke liye..

Aap,

I was back home and opened the door and proceeded to keep the keys in the rack,a rare thing to do on my part,I know dadi bua would have been really happy seeing my this avatar!all thanks to that sole mission of confronting my own thoughts! Humming a tune(I had to keep my mind running at a pace that will prevent it from dwelling over the thoughts of the day!),I headed towards the washroom,turned on the tap and splashed water across my face,every drop was soothing my strained nerves and I picked up a towel to dry my face intentionally leaving behind a trail of droplets to let them cool my nerves.waise yeh baat bhi maine aaphi ko dekh kar seekhi thi,after removing the scrubs you used to do the same thing,and at that point every intern's heart used to skip a beat while coming out of the OT!

Further I thought for a moment and headed towards the kitchen,wondering about the simplicity of my problem whether to round up the evening with a dash of coffee or a cutting chai?!

Aap hote toh yahi kehte,tumhaari aadatein na,bahut kharaab hai,for god sake tum ek doctor ho,aur apni patients ko toh pata nahi kya kya achi khaasi likh kar deti ho,jinka khud par kabhi bhi galati se bhi laagu nahi hoti!!

Ajeeb o gareeb samay par uthkar noodles khaati ho,aur yeh coffee bhi saath main,chalo ab mooh phulaake math beto,chai peethe hai..

Aapki aadatein toh jaise meri zindagi ban chuki hai,

Aapki aadaton ka bhi aadat

Main,aap,yaadein aur yeh adrakwaali chai..

Meelon ki doori

Khamoshi se bhari tanhaayi..

Aur aap ki mazaak humesha yaad aati rehti hai,jab bhi main alfaazon ko yun sajaati hu,toh aisa lagtha hai peeche se aap aawaaz de rahe ho,Nidhi,acha hua jo maine tumhaare college se degree naa lee,warna main toh surgeon se zyaada shaayar banta phirta.. apni shirt ki button ko khol kar cuffs upar karte huye!

A beep from my phone brought me back to my cup of cutting chai,continuing to hum a new tune,flawlessly adding adrak to the ubhalehuye chai and relishing the sweetness of the tune(yeh dhun bhi toh aap hi ki hai!) with the aroma of a perfect chai,after this mind soliloquy I said taaliyaan!

aisa kyun lagta hai ki,meri har ek baat sun ne ke liye aap mere saamne aa jaate hai,tab lag raha tha jaise aap pehli baar apni kitchen main meri pehli,ya phir yun kahun humaari pehli chai banaate waqt jaise khade the,aur pehli dafa aapko muskuraate dekhaa tha maine,aaj bhi lagta hai jaise yahaan aap us kone main khade hokar mujhe dekh kar waise hi kuch muskuraa rahe hain..

bhoole bisre kal ke sham

aanewaale kal ke naam

aapki maujoodgi ka aaj

yaad banjaanewaale yeh pal

puraane panno ke beech

milnewaale yeh lamhe

aakhon ki nami

aur murjhaaye huye gulaab..

I Poured it into my gilaas ,which everybody call the rasthe main milne waale sasthe chai ki gilaas,aur (jiske ke liye aapse daanth bhi padi thi,beech gali ki chaiwaale se udhaar jo maang kar laayi thi,aapko chai pilaane ke liye!)well let them mock but I really enjoy sipping my cutting chai in that cup.The aroma always teases me to sip it a little before I settle down with you!

I pick up my earphones and head towards my hangout,my terrace,the one place I have just reserved for my evenings.I step up the ladder and land between two large water drums,a perfect settee.I settle down gazing at the evening sky,the best part of my life getting lost in the magical setting.mere har ek sham ki dhun toh wahi rehti hai,jo aapne banaaya tha,sochti hu kaise ek geet zindagi ki hare k sham ke liye kaafi hai..

Wahi dhun,wahi saaz,wahi alfaaz aur wahi aap..

Aapki dee huyi gulaab bhi murjhaa gaye hai,lekin aapki yaadein rozaana khilti hai,ek taazgi laati hai

berukhi bhi kya aapki yaadon se

who bhi rooth jaaye

toh manaane ke liye kya he..

Ashutosh:

Dec 22^nd

^Friday

Socha tha aankhon ke saamne agar tumhaari tasveer hataa lu toh shaayad jeene ki koshish kar paawunga,lekin us chavi ka main kya karu..?

kabhi socha na tha,ki meri zindagi bhi kisi se itna judaa hoga ki unke bina kaatna sazaa ban jaayega..

aankhen band bhi karu toh kya,tumhaari chehra dikh tha hai,kaanon main tumhaari aawaaz ki kilkaariyaan hai,ha pata tha tumhaare bina jee nahi paawunga,lekin zinda bhi nahi bachpaawunga iska andaaza nahi tha..

tumhaari khath,haath main lapetkar so raha tha,pata nahi kabhi so paawunga,lekin aakhen band karu toh woh din saamne aa jaata hai,humaari aakhreen mulaaqat

jab tum mujhpar chillakar,gusse se mere cabin ki darwaaze band karke gayi thi..

is or mudhkar meri aakhon ki nameen chupaa raha tha,agar tumhe ek nazar bhi dikhe toh shaayad kamzor pad jaata tha!

Jab dil toot ta hain toh kabhi aawaaz nahi karti magar andar ek sannaata chaayi hui hoti hai..

Uske agle din mujhe ek khath milta hai tumhaari resignation ke saath,shaayad woh tumhaari aakhreen..

"anginat yaadein kaise bhi sametkar bhej rahi hu…

Ummeed hai aap inka bhi wahi hashar karenge

Isi haq se bhej rahi hu

Ki kabhi socha tha zindagi ki safar ko haathon main haath lekar tey karenge..

Yun alag manzil ki taraf nahi

Aapne us taraf mudhkar alvida kaha

Main bhi lautaa rahi hu

Badale main kuch aur math maangna

Itna toh haq adaa karne deejiye

Mere paas aapki aakhreen alvida hi rehne deejiye.."

Saath main tha kaanon ki waaliyan..

Zindagi ki is mazaak pai hasun ya rowu samaj main nahi aaya..

Aaj se pehle kabhi puraane panno ko dubaara kholne ki koshish nahi kiya..

Jaanta tha agar karunga toh shaayad us kal,na meri aaj par aur kayeen aanewaale kal par haavi ban jaayenge..

Pehli mulaaqat shaayad us pal ke liye kuch khaas na ho,lekin jab zindagi ki kal main honge toh us pehli mulaaqat ek haseen lamha hota hai..

Yaad hai sham ki waqt aur zor ki baarish ho rahi thi,aur main humesha ki tarah,khidkiyan bandh karke,pardein bhi nahi hataata tha, apni cabin main files main gheraa huva tha,us waqt mere liye baarish ka matlab chath dhoondna tha,bheegna toh maine tumse seekha..

Ek knock meri darwaaza par jo tumne kiya tha,pata nahi tha ki woh is veeran zindagi ke andaar chupse shaamil ho jaane ke liye bhi hoga..

Aur mudhkar dekha toh saamne ek ladki bhaag kar aayi thi,meri bulaawa lekar ek emergency ke liye,aur maine tumse pehli dafa kuch poocha toh bhi kya,where the hell is the PA system,aapko bhaag kar aane ki kya zaroorat thi,ab chaliye..tumhaari naam tak maine theek tareeke se sunaa nahi tha,sirf yeh sunaayi dee thi,dr.varma..

Nidhi:

Ek sapna..

Dec 22^nd

^Friday

^{Aaj bhi aapke saamne daudti hui aakar khadi huyi thi,takraate takraate reh gayi thi..}

^{Is hospital ke baraamde main,aage jaane hi waali thi,ki achaanak paaw hil ne se rahi}

Pehle toh sirf hairaani huyi,par jab yeh ehsaas huva ki saamne meri dil main basi chavi nahi balki..

Do saal ho gaye hai,ha do saal yeh kehne ke liye kaafi nahi hai,ki aap aaj bhi waise hi hai,par do saal beet gaye hai..

Ek aur pal yun hi khadi rehti toh shaayad saans lena bhool jaati..

Aisa shaayad tab huva tha jab humaari beech main pehli dafaa sirf hawaayein bandish thi aur ek doosre ki dhadkane sunaayi de raha tha,paas bhi itne ki shaayad dooriyan sharmaa jaate,khamoshi ki khoobsoorati toh mujhe us waqt mehsoos huva tha..

Jab hairaani khaamosh huyi toh ek hi lamhe main hoton par muskuraahat aur aakhon main nameen thi,is se pehle who aasu banke behne lage main chal padi,kyunki dil dimaag ko sochne hi nahi de raha tha,kya karun ya na karun..

Lagtha hai samay bhi ek pal ke liye ruk gaya tha

Jab ek pal ke liye humaari nazre mile aur khamoshi adaa kar rahe the

Yeh kambaqkht dil bhi ajeeb harqate karwaata hai

Is se pehle aapki chehra padh paati,paaw doosre or mujhe kheech kar le jaa rahe tha

aakhon se aasu band hone ke naam hi nahi le rahe the..

Na duniya ki hosh,na jagah ki shaleenta..

Meri samaj se pare hai dil ki is harqat ko samajhna..

Yun toh kehne ke liye meelon ka faasla tey kiya tha,magar phir bhi ek doosre ki zindagi ki kar ek panne ki aaj aur kal par jadeed banaake rakhthe humaare roznaamche main..

Anjie mere liye aapki khabar ko sambhal kar laati thi

Dr.Ranganath se shaadi hone ke baad, teen chaar maheenon main bhi milte toh bhi hum logon ki mulaaqaatein toh jaise aap hi ki khabron ki zikr karne ke liye ho gaya tha,jaane anjaane,aapki naam ko shaamil karna woh kabhi bhool ti nahi thi,shaayad use bhi andaaz ho gaya tha,ki aapki khabar hi sahi zaroori tha mujhe zinda rehne ke liye..

Aj tak toh aise kabhi nahi huva tha,toh ise itefaaq kahun ya zindagi main phir se bahaaron ki dastak..

khamoshi ko odh kar soyi aasmaan

khidki se hawaayein nokjhok karke jaa rahi thi

jaise chand aur taaron ne bheja ho meri haal poochne..

chehre ke nazdeek rakhe is chai ki mehek

dhuvaayein narmi se meri aakhon ke saamne

parde daal rahe the

jaise yaadon ke ser karwaane sej sajaa rahe the..

band aakhon ke saamne aapki muskuraata huva chehra

haathon main aapki haath..

aur ek mulaayam ehsaas ki tarah aapki yaadein mujhe har taraf se dher ke rakha tha

jaise is December ki thand main mujhe chaaron taraf se kambal dhak rakha ho..

Aapki aankhen kuch na keh kar bhi bahut kuch bayaan kar jaata hai..

Ashutosh:

Dec 23^rd

^Saturday

Anjaana tha jo armaan tumse hi maine jaana..inkaarte huye!

Shaayad hi main un palon ko bhool sakta hu,nidhi..!

Tum meri saamne aati toh dimaag ishaara karta, tumse door bhaagu ya tumhe door bhejne ke liye,kyunki use gumaan tha mann ki badmaashiyon ke bare main,aankhen bhi kambhaqt dil ke saath dete huye kuch na kuch harqath karne ke liye mauke ki talaash main tha..

aur jab saamne tumhe naa paata toh nazre tumhe dhoondhte thak jaate..

ek ajeeb sa behcheyni hoti thi,tumhe nazaron ke saamne na paate huye..!

kaheen tumhaari aawaaz galati se bhi sunaayi deta toh kadam apne aap hi rukh jaate,chup ke se sun ne ke liye..

Is paagalpan toh meri harqaton se saaf zaahir hota kuch logon ko,Dr.Ranganath toh baaz nahi aate mujhse ghumaa phiraakar is ki wajah jaan ne ke liye,tab shaayad logon ko aur bhi mazaa aata hai jaan ke bhi anjaan ban ne main..

Ab toh kuch mahiney ho chuka hai,tumhe jaante huy,lekin pehchaante huye toh shaayad hi kuch din beete honge,lekin ek aadat si ban chuki thi,tumhe mere ward main dekhne ki,is hospital main dekhne ki,apni cabin main dekhne ki, ya yun kahun,tumhaari haseen ki,tumhaari sharaaton ki,tumhaari masoom si chehre ki, tumhaari sham ki chai ki..

Lagta tha shaayad zindagi ne bhi tumse jeena seekha hoga..

Meri chehre pe bhi muskaan dastak dene lagaa tha

Zindagi main baahaaron ne sandesaa bhejaa tha

Mujhe samajh main nahi aata ki tumse door rehne ki wajah dhoondhu ya mukhtasar mulaaqaton ke liye shukriyaa adaa karu..

Us pal ka zikr main karun bhi toh kaise..

Convention main honewaali paper presentation ki tayaari ke liye tumhe mujhi se madat maangna tha,kismat!!

Cabin main na keh kar,bheed main,canteen main jaane ki zidd kee thi ya phir farmaan jaari kee thi

Kyunki tumhaari maujoodgi aur meri cabin ki is khamoshi ne mujhse kuch na kuch harqath karne ke liye jaise khule aam nyota de rakha tha..

Lekin lagta hai,us din jaise mann ki us paagalpan ki saazish main aakhon ke saath hawaawon ne bhi shaamil hone ka socha tha..

Meri dimaag ki har ek chetaawni ko nazar andaaz karte huye bas nikal pade apne man maani karne

Ittefaaq bhi kaise jise mujhe chaahte huye bhi naa kehna tha!

Dr.mehta ko bhi mujhe ,nahin,hume canteen main milkar us din ki case ke bare main discuss karne ke liye koi aur maukaa nahi milaa tha,toh unhe kuch x-rays dikhaane ke liye aur case file discuss karne ke liye mujhe apni cabin ki taraf mudhna hi padha,jaise hi uthne waala tha,unhone woh kehdiya jis se mere mann ke honsle aur bhi buland ho gaye,tumhe bulaa liya tumhaari presentation ke bare main sunke,yeh kehte huye ki cabin main hi dono guide kar denge.

Ab isi ittefaaq ko mujhe chaahte huye bhi naa kehna tha,

lekin ab lagta hai,mujhe zaroor na kehna tha..!

Hum dono ki baatein khatam hone ke liye tum tiki tiki baand kar intezaar kar rahi thi..aur main bhi,tumhaari sabr tootne ki,lekin tum to ..tum ho..!!

Bahut hi mushkil se aakhon ko files main dubaa kar baitha tha,aur hoton se bas ha ya na kehta..

Taajjoob huva tha tumhaari sanshodhan ki gehraayi se,hare ek pehlu ko baareeki se samjha tha..

Ek mukammal koshish kee thi ki tumhaari baton main na ulajhne kee,par yunhi tumhe guide karte meri system main rakhi articles ko dikhaane chala tha,ab lagta kya zaroorat thi..!

Is nyote ki ehsaas jab huva tab tumhaari khushboo ne mujhe tumhaari nazdeeki ki ailaan kiya..

Aisa laga ki meri pareshaaniyon ki aaghaz kee thi!

Kya tumhe anadaaza bhi tha tumhaari itni paas aane se meri haal kya huva hoga,itni mushkil se dil ko samjhaane ki aur khud ko sambhalne ki hazaaron nakaam koshish karta raha,jispar jaise khud maine hi tumhe bulaakar paani pher diye ho

Ab khuda khair kare..

Aur dimaag kehta raha,Ashu,ek senior surgeon hone ki naate apne aap ko sambhaalo,hospital ki shaleenta ko mudde nazar rakhte huye aapko aapki mann ko hokum denaa hoga,ek solah saal ki ladke ki tarah harqate na harne ke liye..

Par dil hai ki manta nahi,kehne laga,dil toh bacha hai jee..

Jab tum jhuk kar meri system ke screen ko dekhne ke liye aayti thi toh tumhaari laten tumhaari chehre par baar baar aa raha tha..

Aur meri aakhon ki khair nahi,na chaahte huye bhi tumhaari ungliyon se laten suljhaane ki nakaamiyaab koshish ko peecha karte huye nikal pade..

Jaise tumhaari ungliyaan suljhaate huye meri nazar ko ched rahe the..

Dil pai jaise deewaangi chaa gayi thi..

Tum toh aise baatein kiye jaa rahi thi jaise duniya ki tamaam waqt hum dono ke paas pade ho

Is paagalpan ki,is deewangi ki wajah jaante huye bhi mann ko nakaarta raha..

Tumhaari saadgi uff,is ladki toh mujhe kaheen ka nahi chodegi..

Ohh!!Dr.Nidhi Verma how can you bhi so nave..!

Tumhe bhej ne ke liye na zubaan tak aa bhi raha tha par aawaaz bhi use chup karaa raha tha..

Finally I had to snap..!!

Tum meri cabin main rakhi gayi books lene ki koshish kar hi rahi thi,ki mujhe tumhaari maddad na karne ke liye inkaar jataate huye bhi maddad karna hi pada,aur tum toh wahaan par phir se sawaalon ki barsaat karne lagi,toh mujhe apni soch se bachne ke liye unhi kitaabon ki aasraa lena pada..

Par kehte hai ne,jab har zarre ne mujhe haraane ki saazish kee toh bande ki kya jurrat..

Sham ki suraj dheeme raftaar se khidkiyon ki zariye tumhaare zulfon ko cheerte huye tumhaari chehre ko choone ki koshish main thi..

Aur hawaawon ne bhi saamne se tumhaari laton ki adaa sajaa rahe the..

Tumhaari zulfein tumhein zyaada pareshaan kar rahi thi ya mujhe samaj nahi aa raha tha..

Tum tumhaari laton ko kaanon ki peeche lagaane ki nakaam koshish main juti thi,aur mera mann ka sabr toot ne laga tha,toh who harqath karwaa hi diya,ungliyon se maine tumhaari laton ko tumhaari kaanon ke peeche lagaa diya!

Itni jaldi ungliyon ne yeh harqath kar diya ki,usi tez raftaar se mujhe yeh ehsaas bhi hogaya ki mera mann ne apni mann maani kar liya tha..ab kya??!!

Ehsaas e sharmindigi se mare jaa raha tha,ek pal toh tum bhi khaamosh ho gayi aur tumhaari aakhen khule reh gaye,aur phir jhuki palken..

Kuch pal ki ajeeb si khamoshi aur phir nazre churaakar humaari us guftagu ko khatam karne laga..

Us pal khaamoshi ko cheer kar chilla kar dafaa hone ke liye kehne ka mann kar raha tha..

Usi pal darwaaze pain ek knock huva,Mallika thi,uski zubaan ne kuch na bayaan karte huye bhi aakhon ne bahut kuch keh daala,sharm se paani hogaya tha..

Shaayad use bhi gumaar tha ,jo ab is harqath se saamne se isbaat mil gaya tha..

Aur dimaag shor kar raha tha,Ashu,yeh tumhe kya ho gaya..

Mallika ki baatein,mujhe ek mujrim banaake ke khadaa kar diya tha,toh use chupaane ke liye gusse ki aasraa liya aur use kisi bhi tarah chup karaaya tha..

Par uski baaton ne mujhe aagah kiya tha,it just knocked the sleeping senses out of me..!!

Just then the ghazal ended and I opened my eyes and just wanted to leave without giving a moment more for my mind to drift back to the same old thoughts..and which ghazal..

Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta, kahin jameen tou kahin aasma nahi milta..

Mere mann aur bhi baatein karna chaah raha tha,par maine hi use mauqaa dena gawaara nahi samjha aur wahaan se uthkar ward ki taraf badhne laga..