Parinay(2) Chp6B Pg114, Teaser on THd3 Link Pg 136 - Page 64

Khawishon ka chehra kyun

Chapter 6A-

A big thanks to Vee for making this banner for Parinay.

'Are you going to be okay with this?' Sharanya kept her hand on her friend Kushi's hands, to try and calm her as she knew the question was going to make her uncomfortable, make her recollect a part of her past, that still only brought her pain and hurt.

Sharanya had met Kushi on the first day of the induction week at IIM Ahmedabad. Among the throes of jostling crowds, each trying to out-speak the other, trying to stake a claim of their intelligence and worthiness of the management degree at IIM, Sharanya noticed Kushi for her aloof demeanor. Kushi spoke only she was spoken to with her answers always being precise and to the point, she never really made an effort to speak more than required or build a rapport.

During the induction week, late one night Sharanya had gone to the terrace to get some fresh air. She had seen Kushi huddled in a dark and silent corner, crying. Kushi looked like an emotional wreck on that day. Sharanya contemplated for a moment on whether she should speak to the girl, with her own aloof nature coming into play, but something struck a chord within her and she took the initiative to reach out to Kushi. Sharanya offered her support without probing and slowly the two women became friends.

It had taken Kushi a while to open up to Sharanya, tell her everything about her past, the deceit at the hands of her family and her failed marriage. When she had heard about how Kushi had been exploited, Sharanya was in two minds to call the Raizadas and give them a piece of her mind, but Kushi had stopped her.

Sharanya had been Kushi's pillar over the last two years, encouraging her, supporting her, helping her come out of her shell, helping her make the most of her remaining time at IIM. As much as Kushi was dependent on her for support, Sharanya equally looked up to Kushi. Kushi's hard-working and determined approach to achieving her goals had rubbed off on Sharanya and the two friends had formed a deep bond. It surprised Sharanya to no end how Kushi managed to perform well, secure good grades and leave a very good impression among the faculty in spite of the issues she had faced in her life. Her single minded devotion to prove herself, become something in life had inspired Sharanya who had it easy so far in her own life.

Kushi smiled at her friend. 'I'm fine Sharan. This has to be done. How long can I keep running away from this city? I will be staying at Buaji's place, so hopefully I won't see them at all.' Kushi smiled trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. Of all the things that haunted her, her biggest worry was how she would react if she met 'him.'

'Kush.. not sure whether I should ask you this...' Sharanya hesitated. 'What have you decided about legalising your separation and filing for a divorce, now that you are in the same city as your ex?'

Kushi took a deep breath in, when Sharanya had brought up this subject a month ago, she didn't have any answers and her response now wasn't going to be any better. 'Sharan I have wanted to do it from the day I came to Ahmedabad. I also spoke to a lawyer. Apparently divorce procedures in India can be a long drawn out process and may take up to a year or sometimes even more. And secondly it could cost me as much as Hundred Thousand rupees in costs. Where do I have such kind of money?' Kushi had decided not to file for a divorce while she was studying as the management degree was a cherished dream and she didn't want anything to distract her.

'I understand. Its such a shame that most of the laws in our country are unfavorable to us women.'

'Once I make enough money I will start the process, preferably once I move to Mumbai so that I dont have to see any of them during the process. But before that I'd like to make at least a part repayment of the money, that the family had prepaid towards my course fees for the degree.' Kushi said pensively.

'Kush you dont have to do that.. The course fees is peanuts when compared to the money you can get as alimony.'

'No Sharan. You don't understand. My wedding was a business deal between the two families. They paid my course fees in return for offering myself for the so called sham wedding. By walking out I didn't keep my side of the bargain. Plus I really don't want to owe any of them anything. I just want to pay the damn money and get as far away as possible from all of them.'

'Fine I understand, you know if you need any sort of financial support to get you started, you can count on me.' Sharanya nervously approached the subject. Over the course of two years Sharanya had observed Kushi living on bare minimum sometimes even worse. She had repeatedly offered her financial assistance but every single time Kushi had declined it, sometimes even telling her off. Thankfully Kushi had been able to secure access to a small scholarship fund for living expenses in the second year which helped her, but only a little.

'Thanks Sharan. But I think I'll be fine. The pay at Lintas is really good, so although it may take a couple of months for things to settle down Ill be fine.'

Kushi smiled at her friend Reassuringly. Sharanya was one of the bright spots of her life in the last two years who had helped her more than just a friend. It did wonder Kushi to no end, how sometimes friends were more helpful and considerate than one's own family.

Unhappy with the direction of her thoughts, Kushi leaned to look at the passing views from the small window in the train. It had been two years since she had last set her foot in this city, the city serving as a reminder of nothing but just bad memories. But she had to do it now, she could not let go of the opportunity to work for a reputed agency due to her personal issues.

Initially she was unsure of accepting the role in Delhi, she was considering interviewing with some of the other agencies who had participated in the campus recruitment drive. But she realised that she could not let her personal life issues take priority, not especially when she had struggled with them in the last two years.

Her thoughts went back to the two years that had passed by, the initial days when her life was a mess, with Kushi struggling to stop herself from thinking about her numbered days at Shantivan, the events that lead to her wedding, the hope of staring something new and then finally that evening when she was told the entire truth, when her ex admitted that he still loved another woman.

Once she knew that not only were they both forced into this wedding, but also that her husband was in love with someone else and wanted to marry the woman, Kushi had felt her heart break and with it any hopes of making their relationship work. She was happy to give the wedding a chance as long as Arnav was at least committed to the relationship. But when he was in love with someone else, there was no way he would be entirely committed. She didn't want to be someone's second-best option, she deserved to love someone and be loved in return. She didn't expect Arnav to love her from day one, but how could he or she give each other a fair chance when Arnav's heart had was already taken? She didn't want Arnav to live with her only because he felt he had to, because she was a responsibility, a burden he needed to carry. She had already been a burden on her aunt's family and she knew what it felt like. There was no way she would allow herself to be treated like that again, not by the man she was married to. Which is why she had walked out breaking all ties with the family and him.

A month after she had moved to Ahmedabad he had come to visit her, but she had refused to meet him, sending him a written note through the concierge that if he really cared for her he should leave her alone. Fortunately for her he never visited her again or made attempts to get in touch with her. 'Must be with Lavanya.' Kushi assumed with a hint of hurt.

The only people she had kept in touch after the aftermath was Akash and Bua, but only after they had promised not to bring up any discussions on her wedding or anyone from the family. As a last ditch attempt her Bua had visited her Ahmedabad during Diwali and requested Kushi to give the wedding one last chance, but Kushi had stood her ground and eventually Bua promised to never bring it up. Which is why she agreed to live with Bua during her six month stint in Delhi.

The past two years had been difficult on her, with pain, doubts and sometimes questions on self worth cropping up in her mind, especially in the initial days. Once she had come across Lavanya's photo shoot in a magazine accidentally and Kushi had locked her up in the room looking at her own reflection in the mirror, wondering if her own insipid looks were the reason for her unsuccessful marriage. When Sharan found out what she was up to, she slapped her silly and asked her to grow a pair.

Having no family to fall back on for support made the whole experience even more traumatic. But every time she thought about her family, Payal's deceit, her Maasi's emotional blackmail came back to haunt her.

Thanks to Sharan and a few good friends she made at IIM A she slowly came around, took control of her destiny and tried to turn her life around. She would be lying if she said that her past didn't affect her anymore, sure there were days when all she felt like was to either cry or give a piece of her mind to the family who had done this to her, but she had learned to distract herself with other things when she felt vulnerable.

Her job at Lintas was like a new beginning, she was finally in a good job, a job that paid well and also promised to take her to newer heights professionally. Finally her life could begin.

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'Buaji, Im getting late. Jiju will be here any minute.' Kushi said while looking at her reflection in the small mirror in Buaji's living room. It had been a week since she had move back to Delhi, with most of her time take up by purchasing work clothes for her new job, the first time she had shopped for clothes in more than two years. She had then looked at a few second hand bikes she could buy or hire, for traveling during her stay in Delhi, but found nothing that came in the threshold of what she was willing to pay. The public transport in Delhi was getting progressively unsafe to use.

'Titaliya you are getting more stubborn with each passing day, here have some yogurt and sugar, it will bring you good luck.'

Kushi hugged Madhumathi, whose unwavering support and affection had helped retain her faith in the concept of family.

'Jiju is here, I need to rush. Bye.' She uttered quickly and left, once she heard the sound of horn from Akash's car.

Akash had offered to drop Kushi at her office as it was her first day at work. He was very proud of how Kushi had turned things around in her life and had proceeded to complete her graduation and get a fantastic job at a multinational agency. In the last two years, they both had developed a strong bond and Akash started considering Kushi as his kid sister.

'Kushi there is some prasad in that box, please have some.' Akash said as he changed gears to start the car.

'I cant believe you went to a temple, which temple jiju.' Kushi opened the box of prasad.

'It was actualy Payal who did a puja for you, in a temple close to home.'

As soon as Kushi heard her sister's name she put the prasad back in the box.

'Kushi don't do that. It has been two years and she is still extremely guilty of her actions. For what its worth she didn't know the entire truth. My mother and grandmother had lied to her and misled her.'

Kushi looked at the folder in her lap and started fidgeting with the leather case.

'She cares for you deeply Kushi, please let her in. And she is extremely regretful.' And when she didn't react he added as a last ditch attempt, 'Please Kushi, for me.' And then then held her hand.

Kushi smiled at him and replied, 'You are right jiju. It is time to let go. I will give her a call soon.'

Akash grinned at Kushi. 'That's great news. I won't tell her about your decision. I want you to call her and surprise her.'

Kushi walked into the offices of hew employer with a spring in her step. Once Kushi she had settled down, she had spend the whole day in a whirl wind of activities. She was going to spend most parts of the next two weeks in induction groups and training. Kushi was a part of a five member management trainee group who were all selected from the most prestigious management institutes in India. When Kushi found out that she was the youngest in the group, she was very proud of her achievement. 'It was all worth it, after all.' she told herself.

A couple of days later Kushi placed a call to Payal after two long years. When Payal realised who was at the end of the line, she broke down. She continued to apologise, in between her sobs. She kept telling Kushi how guilty she had felt for not protecting her.

Listening to her jiji speak and that too cry, made Kushi upset too. She had missed her sister often in the last two years especially when the going got tough. There were times when all she wanted to do was give a call to her sister and ask her for guidance but every time she stopped herself.

The two sisters spoke for a long time, their call filled with apologies, tears, love, affection and memories. Kushi kept the phone down and she felt lighter, as if forgiving her jiji and making peace with her had lifted a big weight off her shoulders. That is when Kushi felt that it was easier to forgive and be happy than carry the hurt and stay miserable. She had agreed to meet Payal on Friday evening after work and she was genuinely excited about it.

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It was Friday afternoon, Kushi had been finishing up on a case study she had prepared about 'Changing consumer perceptions of the Indian middle class' when one of the other Management trainees made an announcement. 'We have been asked to assemble in the meeting room for a quick talk by the Vice President of Media Sales.'

'Now its already five?' Another trainee cried, having made plans for the evening.

Kushi looked at her watch. She had promised to meet Payal at a restaurant at six.

'Apparently it is very difficult to catch hold of him, which is why the meeting has been called in such a short notice. He travels a lot.'

'Is he the guy who has been credited with turning around Lintas media side of the business?' Another trainee asked.

'When they hired him two years ago, the media business was close to being pulled off. But in nearly two years he has turned it around into a successful business unit.' The trainee added trying to show off his knowledge of the company.

Kushi continued to listen intently. The media buying and selling business was a cut throat industry, a saturated one too. With the advent of many specialist media agencies who worked on commissions as less as one percent, many advertising agencies had closed down the media side of the business. It was simply impossible to match the same commercial deal as the ones offered by the small niche media agencies.

Kushi followed the rest of her colleagues and continued to listen to their conversation about some of the new ventures including a specific digital media unit the Vice President had successfully established. Suddenly Kushi was very interested in attending this meeting and hear this person talk, the dinner with her sister almost forgotten.

She entered the room with her colleagues. She saw her manager involved in a conversation with the other person- with their backs turned towards them. The man seemed well dressed, he was wearing an ash grey suit that encompassed his broad shoulders. Kushi settled into one of the chairs at the end of the room, directly opposite that of the speakers so that she could pay complete attention to the presentation on screen.

Once she had settled down in her chair, she started fidgeting with her pen, while looking at the backs of her manager and the speaker. Kushi shifted her eyes to the slide which had been projected on the big screen in front of her to look for the name of the speaker. She searched the slide and zeroed in on what seemed like a name at the bottom of the slide. She tried to focus and read the name as the font size was small. She looked again trying to focus more intently. And when she saw the first name her heart started beating rapidly upon the possibility of her observation. At the same time her manager turned around to leave and the man walked to the front of the table.

Kushi moved her eyes nervously to look right ahead and looked straight into a pair of dark brown eyes that showed surprise and undue happiness at having seen her, quite different from her own reaction.

A.N-

Thank you for showing so much love to this story and to the characters. I'm truly touched. Thanks again.