Armaan's POV in Red
Rahul stared at his friend unbelievingly. He was stunned. "So this age difference is the reason why you always said you cannot never be married to him, even if he ever loves you?" rahul asked riddhima and she nodded at him quietly. He looked at her who was staring at the distance with blank face. He wondered how she hid all this hurt in her heart for all these years. He met her in their first year of college and gradually became best friends. At a point of time, he came to know there is something which she is hiding from him..from everyone. It didn't take him much time to realize that she was in love with someone. He tried asking her who it was but she just told its way too personal to tell to anyone. Now he understood why she said its very personal and she cannot tell anyone. His heart ached seeing her like this. He didn't know she was hiding So Much pain for eight long years. He saw her closing her eyes and fisting her fingers tightly, trying to stop her tears. He softly placed his hand on her shoulder and she suddenly stood up moving his hand away. "Its late rahul. Go home" she said not looking at him and walked away from him. "Don't do this to yourself riddhima. Cry and let out your pain. It will less the burden in your heart" he said from behind her. "It is not burden rahul. Its my love for him and the tears which I let out is not going to lessen my love for him. Instead the tears make it deeper and stronger" she said turning and looking at him.
"What are you thinking rahul? That how can I love someone who is eight years elder than me? That I am a bad girl? Its not your fault rahul..our society is like that. We are brought up with a mentality like that. This is the reason why I told you I cannot tell the reason rahul" she said looking at him. "No riddhima. I am not thinking like that. I accept that we are brought up with the mentality that we cannot love someone who is very elder than us. Few minutes ago I was shocked listening to you. But I swear on you riddhima, I didn't think bad of you. If you were a stranger to me, I must have thought bad of you. But I am your best friend riddhima. I know you. I understand your pain. I understand your feelings" he said and went to hug her. She didn't hesitate and hugged him letting the tears flow out of her eyes. "I had seen you suffering riddhima. I had seen you trying to control your tears. Sometimes I had seen you crying. Many times i have wondered what is stopping you from fighting for your love. Now I understand it riddhima. Few minutes before, even my thought about age difference was the same as others. But after knowing the truth, I cant think like that. Age is Just a Number in front of your pure love and heart wrenching pain" he said patting her back and trying to calm her. She cried in his arms now feeling a little relieved at least now someone understood her pain and her. He let her cry. His eyes were moist too.
Riddhima parted from him after few minutes wiping the tears. "You know rahul? I was angry on armaan when I exited from his life. But i slowly understood what he did was right. I was just sixteen then rahul. He took me as a good friend. Even if he had tried to make me understand the situation and told me to forget him, I may not have listened to him. He did right by pushing himself away from me. I know it was hurting him somewhere too..to create distance between us. But he did it thinking of my well being..my future. He could have easily taken advantage of me when he understood I have feelings for him. But he didn't. Being the good hearted person he is, he distanced himself from me. And realizing this truth deepened my love for him and the respect I had for him grew million folds in my heart. In fact, my feelings for him turned to True Love and Stronger after he was gone from my life. May be my feelings for him would have vanished if he had not did what he did. He is Gem of a person rahul. Not many men in this world like him. I never regret loving him. I am proud I love him. He may not be the one for me rahul. But he is the only man who I respect and love with all my heart and soul" riddhima said to her friend. "I agree with you riddhima. Armaan Mallik is truly a gem of a person. You are right. If it had been any other person, he must have taken advantage of your innocence and feelings for him and ruined your life. No girl would want to miss a man like him. I respect him for the man he is riddhima" rahul said honestly and riddhima smiled hearing him.
"Do you think he loved you riddhima?" rahul asked and riddhima shook her head in "no". "He cared for me rahul. The bond we had was special. We had this comfort between us. I knew he liked me. But I don't know if he ever loved me. Even if he does, its not going to make any difference rahul. He is not a loud person. He is calm and friendly. But when he gets angry, it is difficult to handle him. He loves his parents very much. He will never go against them. And I wont too. Our parents will not agree for me and him to be together" riddhima said hopelessly and rahul just stood silent not saying anything.
*******
Armaan came out of the conference room and went to his cabin after finishing the meeting. He called annie and she came in. "Thanks for rescheduling all the meetings in a such a short notice annie" he said thankfully to his p.a. "Its my work. I am glad I could help you. Can I ask you something Mr.Mallik?" she asked him. "Sure annie" armaan said looking at her. "I am working for you for almost four years. You have never cancelled any meeting like this before. Now you postponed everything for a month and going to India. Is it your long due vacation which you are taking now or something else?" she asked him curiously. "It is not a vacation annie. Most probably I will be coming back with the love of my life and after that I will go on a vacation with her" armaan said with a broad smile. Annie looked at him and said, "I have never seen you smiling like this. I will be waiting to welcome soon to be Mrs.Mallik here. Please let me know what you want me to do when you return here" "Thanks annie. I will surely let you know. Take care of yourself and the office. Keep me informed on everything happening. You will be assisting David till I come back. And you two, please concentrate on your work too while you are romancing. He is gone out on a meeting now. Tell him I will call him before I board the flight" armaan said with a teasing smile. "Sure Mr.Mallik. I will inform him" annie said smiling. David is the general manager of armaan's company and also a friend to him. Annie and david are in a relationship from the last two years and are planning to get married soon. "Take Care Mr.Mallik" annie said giving him a side hug which was responded by armaan. Armaan went to his home and took his luggage. He knocked on his parent's room door. His mother opened the door letting him in and walked to her husband. "I am leaving mom dad. Please think of what I said and let me know your decision soon. Please take care both of you and please eat and take your medicines in time" he said and bent down to take their blessings. His eyes moistened not feeling their hands on his head. He stood up, looked at them for a moment and went out.
*******
Three days had passed since riddhima's birthday. Rahul had gone out of country for a business trip the very next morning. Before going, he and riddhima told their parents they want some time to think. Their parents questioned them why do they need time and they are perfect for each other. Rahul and riddhima had an argument with their parents the elders at last agreed to give them some time.
*******
Riddhima sat in the windowsill of her room staring at the sudden rain. It had rained suddenly like these eight years ago when she and armaan were reading under the shade of the tree in the library precincts. Riddhima got so excited and drenched in the rain when armaan was continuously telling her not to. She didn't listen to him and drenched fully. The next two days she didn't go the library coz of fever and cold. The third day when she went to the library, armaan scolded her and she just sat listening to him pouting. "I will listen to you from now. Please stop scolding me na. I am sorry" she said holding her ears and pouting. Armaan couldn't help but smile at her. When she was going back home that evening, he told her to take care of herself again and again. Another day, when she was crossing the road to go to the library, she was almost hit by a car. She escaped luckily without any wounds. Armaan who was also coming to the library saw this and that is when she came to know the angry side of him. He was so angry on her for her carelessness and didn't speak to for the next three days. In those three days, she didn't dare to go near him. The anger in his eyes scared her a lot. Then she said to sorry to him mustering the courage to go near him the fourth day. He talked to her only after she promised him she will not be careless again. She smiled with tears remembering those days. He always cared for her. But she didn't know if he loved her like she does him. Or does the care he had for her had changed into love after she exited from his life. She wished he did and at the same time she wished he did not too. She wished he had not coz she doesn't want him to suffer like her. She does not want him to suffer the same excruciating pain as her. As much the memories are beautiful and her love for him is deeper, it is agonizingly painful too. Eight long years is not a simple thing. Life changes in just seconds. Eight long years could have changed many things in his life. Who knows? he might be married now and might be a father also. Just that thought felt like someone stabbing her heart. She closed her eyes letting the tears flow like the rain which was pouring hard.
********
Riddhima is an interior designer and she was working in the interior department of her father's construction company. She had got a new client Mr & Mrs.Sharma, who had booked a flat in their new apartments. They were introduced to her by her father. Mrs.Nikita Sharma and Mr.Abhimanyu Sharma became friends with riddhima in a day. Riddhima liked the adorable and so in love couple. She doesn't know why she felt something familiar in nikita. She reminded her of armaan's best friend nikki, who he had told her about.
Riddhima had felt bad then when she came to know there is someone in armaan's life who is very close to him..a girl. But after his exit from her life she was somewhere relieved in her heart knowing that someone is there to take care of him. Coz she knew he is someone who keeps smiling but doesn't talk his heart out to anyone soon. She knew he must be feeling guilty that he had hurt her from distancing himself from her and ending their friendship. She knew he needs someone to talk his heart out and get rid of his guilt. And she was sure nikki is that friend on whose shoulder he could lean on and tell everything. She thought nikki would be that support to him which he would be needing badly then.
*******
From her b'day night, she had begun to feel strange. She suddenly felt oddly happy and sad simultaneously. She couldn't point out why. It was weird. It was the same strong feeling she felt before she exited from armaan's life. But this time the good feeling was more than the sad feeling unlike it was before. Eight years ago she suddenly had felt oddly sad and helpless from the few days before that fateful night. And after that night she realized why she felt that way. It was coz she was going to be separated from armaan. It was like something in her was telling her something is going to happen. She had felt this way many times in the eight years. Numerous times she had felt like armaan was calling her and he needs her. She had felt like he was in pain. Sometimes she was happy for no reason. She had smiled and cried for reasons unknown to herself. She wondered why she is feeling the weird feeling now.
*******
Riddhima had come out to shopping with the sharmas for their interior dcor materials. From the moment she entered the shopping mall, she felt like armaan was somewhere around her watching her. She kept looking around if he was near her but she didn't see him anywhere. After shopping, riddhima, nikki and abhi went to a food court for dinner. They placed their orders and sat talking. Abhi got a phone call and went out excusing himself to answer the call. Riddhima smiled seeing nikita staring at abhi's back till he was out of her sight. She turned and riddhima smiled at her teasingly. Nikita blushed pink and looked down. Riddhima laughed. "Abhi is very special to me riddhima. Every girl dreams to marry a man who would truly love her, understand her and keep her happy. I dreamt the same. My dream came true with abhi. We had some problems in our marriage because my parents thought abhi is not capable enough to keep me happy. Our best friend talked with my parents and made them agree to get me married to abhi. He is mine and abhi's life savour" nikita said smiling. Riddhima smiled at her and couldn't help but think of armaan. She is sure if armaan's friend was in a situation like nikita and abhi, he would have done the same. Suddenly a thought raised in her heart. What if the friend is really Armaan?
Riddhima thought to ask nikita the question which she was thinking to ask her from when she begun to feel she was armaan's friend nikki. "hmm..nikki..where did you study? Your college?" riddhima asked hesitantly. "I studied in St.Peter's here in Mumbai..i was a business management student" nikki said casually and saw riddhim'a face becoming blank. Nikki added in which year's batch she studied. "She is Nikita Malhotra. Armaan's friend nikki" riddhima thought sitting like a statue in her place. With great difficulty, riddhima recovered herself in a minute from the shock of knowing nikita is armaan's friend. She plastered a smile on her lips hiding the tornado in her heart. "Armaan must have not told anything about me to nikki. That's why nikki doesn't know who I am. If armaan had told her, she must have known that I was the riddhima her friend told her about" riddhima thought in her heart.
*******
Riddhima couldn't sleep at all the whole night. She kept tossing and turning in her bed for a long time in the night before she burst out crying not able to control herself anymore. She cried and cried but the tears never stopped. Sleep didn't embrace her that night. In the morning, she didn't feel like going out anywhere. But she had to get out of her room coz she had responsibilities to take care of in the office. She cannot avoid it coz of her personal reasons and moreover she wanted a diversion from armaan's thoughts. So she went to the office. She kept herself busy in her work the whole day. She had a hard time concentrating at first, but than she composed herself and did her work with all her concentration in it. She doesn't eat or drink anything the whole day. Finally when she looked at the clock, it was nearing 6PM. She decided to go home and read something to relax herself. She closed all the files, shut down her laptop, kept it in its bag and exited the building. She took out her car and was driving out of the parking when her phone rang with a new number. Her heart beat rose up seeing unknown number flashing on the screen. She doesn't know why but she felt it was his number. She stopped the car and answered the call. "He..hello" she said in a low voice. "Hi riddhima..its me nikita here. Are you okay? Your voice is low" nikita asked on the other side. Riddhima let out the breath which she was holding back. "I am fine Mrs.Sharma. Anything important?" riddhima said. "Actually yes, me and abhi got a new idea about the living hall dcor. Can you please come to our place now? So we could discuss about it with you?" Nikita asked. Riddhima suddenly grew nervous and felt conscious about meeting them now knowing they are armaan's friends. But its her work and she has to do it. She cannot avoid it. So she said, "Sure Mrs.Sharma. Give me your address" riddhima said and nikita gave her the address. "It will take sometime to reach your place in the evening traffic. I will be there within an hour" riddhima said on the phone. "We will be waiting riddhima.." nikita's voice paused for couple of seconds and then she said, "Drive safe riddhima" "Yea. See you soon" riddhima said and ended the call.
Nikita looked at armaan and said, "Armaan..she knows to drive. She must be driving for atleast four or five years now. She will be safe. Don't worry". It was armaan who told nikita to say to riddhima to drive safe. Armaan nodded closing his eyes leaning back on the couch. "I will prepare the dinner. Abhi please help me with it" nikita said and stood up with her husband knowing armaan needs some alone time before he meets riddhima within an hour. Armaan opened his eyes and took the book which she gifted him. He hugged it close to his heart and again closed his eyes. On the other side, riddhima felt very strange. She felt she was going to meet him. She ignored that feeling thinking it is not possible. She drove with great difficulty and reached the guest house where nikita and abhi are staying.
Riddhima rang the doorbell and stood waiting. Abhi opened the door and welcomed her. She sat on a couch there and nikita came out of the kitchen. She met her and after exchanging pleasantries nikita asked, "Do you have any appointments tonight riddhima?" "No" riddhima said. "Great then. Join us for dinner" abhi invited her. "No. its okay.." riddhima was interrupted by abhi. "Dont worry riddhima. My wife cooks well. You can eat without any fear" abhi said and nikita glared at him. Riddhima smiled looking at them and said "okay" after thinking for a minute. "Give us few minutes. We will join you after we finish cooking. You can read some magazines or watch tv till then" nikita said. "Sure" riddhima said with a smile and abhi and nikita disappeared in the kitchen.
From the moment she came here, she felt like armaan was very near her and looked around. She didn't see him anywhere. She inhaled a deep breath and took a magazine to read to kill time. Her hands stopped seeing a book there. She took it with shivering hands and opened it. Her eyes filled with tears seeing it was the book she gifted him. Suddenly she strongly felt his presence very near her and looked up from the book and around her. Her eyes stopped at the stairs and the earth stopped revolving for her. She saw Armaan standing in the last stair, with his arms folded on his chest. A Full Smile adorning his lips and his cheek with his Deep Dimples. His blue-grey eyes were shining with happiness and tears. She stood up not able to believe her own eyes. Her breath stopped and tears flowed out of her eyes. Her vision blurred coz of the tears swimming in her eyes. She blinked back the tears and saw him walking towards her. She stood rooted to the spot.
tumko dekh ke yoon lagta hai
koi bichhda khwab aaya hai..
barson lambi raat se guzre,
subaha ka jhonka laut aaya hai
bahot der jaagi,
bahot door aayi,
khwab ne chhodi na meri kalai..
Riddhima stood rooted to her spot seeing me. Her face was pale and she was crying. My heart clenched seeing the tears in her eyes. I saw the same riddhima whom I saw on my b'day night..the same vulnerable and nave riddhima. I walked towards her and stood close to her looking into her eyes. She suddenly moved back when I lifted my hand to wipe her tears. Her eyes carefully looked at my hands searching for something. The very moment I knew what she was searching for..Wedding ring. She was seeing if I was married. "I am not married riddhima" I whispered and the very moment she hugged me tight with all her might. I hugged her back crushing her in my arms. I am Absolutely sure she wouldn't have come close to me if she had seen a wedding band in my finger. She was crying terribly. Her face was buried in my chest and my shirt was soaking in her tears. She was holding me like her life depends on our hug. I silently cried with her caressing her back, assuring her of my presence. Her palms on my back caressed me softly comforting me. A warm feeling crept in my heart feeling her do that. At that moment I felt how much she loves me that she took care of me when she herself was crying.
My world stopped the moment I saw armaan with my own eyes. I couldn't believe it Really was him. My First Love, the man to who I gave my heart to was standing in front of me. The deep dimple smile and his shining blue-grey eyes were still the same. I had never seen him smiling like this. His eyes and smile held such a happiness which can never be said in words. He walked closer to me and stood looking into my eyes. I backed out when he tried to wipe my tears. I looked at his fingers carefully to see if he is married. He must have understood what I was searching for and whispered he is not married. I immediately hugged him throwing my arms around him. He embraced me back tightly and caressed my back soothing me. At that moment, I found the solace in his arms which I was yearning for.
kab se meri saans ruki thi
mujhe saans aayi.. mujhe saans aayi.. mujhe saans aayi
saans mein teri saans mili toh,
mujhe saans aayi,
mujhe saans aayi.. mujhe saans aayi.
The world ceased to exist for armaan and riddhima. They stood hugging, calming and assuring each other of their presence. After several long minutes, they parted a little. She caressed his face with her soft fingers staring at him. He closed his eyes cherishing the moment in his heart. He smiled feeling her wiping his tears and opened his eyes. She closed her eyes shivering when he softly cupped her face in his palms. She trembled feeling his lips wiping her tears. He kissed her closed eyes and forehead, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs and making her smile. Jolts of shivers were running down her spine with his touches, caresses and his lips on her skin. She felt loved..a feeling which she doesn't know how it feels to be loved by the one she loves..the feeling which she always wanted to feel from him only and closed her heart to not feel it from anyone else. She like her felt head was spinning. She opened her eyes and looked into his blue-grey eyes. The next moment, her vision darkened and she fainted in armaan's arms. He was shocked and felt his world crushing down seeing her faint and shouted "Riddhimaaa" patting her cheeks.
*************
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